The Last Breath
by First Blush
Summary: It's 1944, Edward awakes in a London field hospital. He's told his wife was in an air raid and did not survive. This sends Edward on a journey over two continents to find the love of his life, forgiveness for his past, and a joy he never even knew existed
1. Chapter 1 Awakening

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

Awakening

Breathing…

_I'm breathing. _

In my head I knew that this was an entirely absurd thought. Of course I'm breathing, but what I wasn't allowing myself to fully consider was the ease of my breaths. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter in hopes of staving off the agony for a few more minutes. I was still relishing in the luxury of air filling my lungs without pain. With a slight huff, I dropped my shoulders and resigned myself to what I had already deemed to be inevitable. With the resignation fully acknowledged, I slowly began to pry my eyes open. The vision above me was still blurred and I blinked several times to bring my sight into focus. My mind seemed to still be fogged over as I stared at the ceiling and waited for the pain.

Every day it hit me like a freight train. The throbbing in my side was truly unbearable. Once I woke from the drug induced haze, I could only hold my breath for a second or two before I began yelling, no, howling in pain. But for some reason today I looked up and had not only the time but the presence of mind to notice a crack in the vacant cream ceiling paint. My stare traced it along the width of the entire hospital ward. My eyes followed a faint orange glow down to the windows.

It was morning.

The early sun was streaming in along the row of beds across from mine. I again braced myself for the pain, but it was only a ghost of what I had remembered as it coursed through my side.

_How many times have I awoken to this pain? _

It was all I could think of; it consumed my every conscious thought for as many days, weeks or months as I could remember. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I felt an itch to sit up and started to roll to my right side. I felt something pull against my left arm and recognized it was still attached to a tube and a glass vile that hung above my bed.

"Corporal Masen?" I heard a voice say.

I paid no attention to the voice as I had never made more than the rank of a Specialist. The voice sounded again and was almost at my bedside. It was an orderly, a huge man dressed all in white. His name tag read "Cheney" on his upper right shoulder.

"Corporal Masen?" the voice said again. "Sir, I'm Benjamin Cheney, I'll bring a nurse for you."

He disappeared from view, and I blinked my eyes slowly and again felt the urge to straighten up. My mind tried to straighten out the events, the days that brought me…here. I struggled to try to remember where _here _really was. Despite my efforts to roll my memory back, the dust of time and glimpses of faces continued to cloud my thoughts. I couldn't seem to remember much before the pain. How long had it been? How many months had I been here? The last real conscious memory I had was of driving toward the border. We were so close...

A voice called to me, waking me from my daydream.

"Corporal Masen, I'm Nurse Angela Webber. Are you in any pain?" she asked.

"It's bearable," I replied. I was still confused by the incorrect rank they gave me, but I was too dazed to make any real conversation.

I raised my arm to pull my fingers through my hair. It was a nervous habit I'd had since childhood. I stared up at my hand for a second and noticed the fading glow of a tan line where my wedding ring would have rested. Suddenly the freight train was back. Instead of pain, it shook me with a rush of memories.

_Bella!_

Where _was _she? If she had any inkling I was hurt, she would be at my bedside. To be accurate, she probably would have been ordering the hospital staff around and doing most of what she could for me herself. In the next second I realized there were only two possible reasons why she wouldn't be here. Either she hadn't received word I was hurt, or she was dead.

My body shook violently at the second thought. I tried to catch my breath, but it was gone. In the next instance, a nurse was looking down on me, taking my pulse and at the ready with a vile of medicine and an ominous looking syringe.

"Stop," I called out in an attempt to command, but my voice came out weak and raspy. "I'm not in pain. At least not _that _kind of pain anymore."

"Your pulse is nearly 160; I'd say you're in distress. This will help..." she answered as she began the motions to inject something into my vein.

"NO!" I shouted as I finally found my voice. "I need some answers. I need to know how long I've been here, and I need to know where my wife is!"

I read "Webber" on her name tag as she stared down at me with deep set brown eyes. Her hair was pinned back tightly and from her expression I understood that she knew a lot about helping soldiers who were struggling during this horrible war. She was likely the last face many eyes saw before they closed forever. She had pain etched in her eyes now, and I wasn't sure if that pain was for me or for all of the men that she had helped pass on from this life.

Nurse Webber steadied her expression. She put down the vile and took a deep breath before she spoke.

"The doctor will make his rounds in two hours. Ben and I will help you – if you'll let us. Then instead of examining you, Dr. Gerandy can spend his time answering your questions."

It didn't take long for me to understand. The nurses and orderlies obviously did the majority of work in an army hospital. There were too many patients, too many of us injured soldiers that needed help. This war needed people like Angela and Ben to step up, or more lives would be lost.

It took less than a second for me to decide.

"Yes," I said. "Do whatever you need to do. I have to get out of here."

Nurse Webber half frowned but nodded to Ben, who pulled the privacy curtain around my bed. She proceeded to take my vitals. Finally, she checked the wound on my right side and then replaced my bandages with clean ones.

"Your stitches are healing nicely. Dr. Gerandy is a phenomenal surgeon."

_Surgeon?_

The word barely registered. I remembered feeling the bite of shrapnel hitting my right side as I gripped the steering wheel of the KFZ 3. We had been speeding uncontrollably toward the front line. Tyler Crowley had been hit too but I knew if I took my foot off the gas we would have all died. The thoughts of the last mission and my injuries were only flashes in my head. My thoughts immediately turned back again to Bella. Every free moment, every conscious thought always brought me back to her. My mind flittered to one of my last memories of her_. _At the time of the mission, it had been six months since we last held each other. Bella's hands were clasped around my neck. Her eyes burned into mine, as if the action could keep me beside her.

_I began to relive the argument we'd had after I got my transfer papers. I'd been assigned to a battalion south of Normandy. I knew she was going to try to get Colonel Swan to move her as well, but I didn't want her anywhere close to that kind of danger. _

"_But I can help." I remembered her arguing. Her face was filled with determination in spite of the tears streaming down her face. _

_Maybe she could have helped but the front line was no place for a woman, let alone the woman I loved with my entire being. I had no doubts that Bella would have skinned me alive if she could have read my mind at that moment but it didn't make it any less true. She was already too close to danger, bringing her to the frontline would never have been an option. Her part in the effort to defeat the Axis was best served from London. Bella was fluent in French, German and Italian. She translated and encoded classified documents for Colonel Charles Swan. He was an arrogant SOB but he treated Bella with respect and that's all I really cared about. Bella's multilingual fluency came from her blue blood upbringing. She had an education that matched her pedigree. She was smart and refined, while my own blue collar roots were another world away. I knew I would never be a worthy suitor for her but I was enthralled from the first moment I laid eyes on her. When I saw her I knew that there would be no other woman for me. We would be together some day or, without a doubt, I would die trying. _

"All right," Nurse Webber said in a stern voice that wrenched me back to the present. "The next part is not going to be pleasant but, if you want out of here, you'll need to bear it."

My daydream of Bella was halted as the bed sheet was pulled down from my waist. Nurse Webber and Ben both leaned over me. She looked me dead in the eye.

"I need you to hold still. Ben is going to hold your shoulders down. When I tell you, take a deep breath and count to five."

I didn't know what she was talking about but, I was confident she was right about it not being pleasant. I just nodded as she disappeared and Ben hovered over me. He pushed my shoulders into the bed.

"Now," she said.

I took half a breath and felt an incredible pain pulling where a man never wants to feel pain. In my head I counted. ...One...Two...Three. By the time I reached three, the pain was over. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of urine but, Nurse Webber was not distracted by the scent. She went about cleaning me and changing the sheets while Ben kept his hands on my shoulders. Less than two minutes after she started, everything was done. She traded places with Ben and finished pulling up the sheets behind my head to the top of the bed. Ben pushed away a cart of supplies, and the strong scent went away with it.

"Okay" she said. "Now that that's gone you'll need to call one of us for a bedpan".

"Not likely." I half smirked with a lopsided grin. "Just let me know which way it is to the little boy's room."

Nurse Webber was not amused. She again stared her deep set brown eyes into mine.

"Look, if you want out of here, it's through me. Don't give me any trouble, or we'll put it back in and worse..."

I knew she was right on both counts. It was obvious that she would incapacitate me in a second if she thought it was necessary. She also was my ticket out of this hospital. I wasn't dumb enough to think that my bravado was worth anything here, not with wounded and broken men lying all around me. My ineffective attempt to make a stand was a ploy to get into Bella's arms faster. I returned Nurse Webber's stare with a single nod.

"Now," she started again. "We need to see about getting you upright. You're probably going to feel light headed and dizzy. It's been a while since you've sat up. If you feel sick, give me one nod and I'll have a bedpan ready for you."

I was going to roll my eyes at her but thought better of it. After all, how many times had she done this before? She had to know what she was talking about. Ben returned with another cart and then joined her at my bedside. They each took one of my arms.

"We're going to pull slowly and crank the bed behind you. Dr. Gerandy will never let you out of here if you can't sit up and hold a conversation with him. Try to keep your stomach muscles relaxed. If you tense up, you'll pull on your stitches, and we'll be looking for that syringe again."

I nodded once more and tried to relax while they pulled gently on my arms. It was unnatural not to try to help, but I fought against the sensation to sit up for myself. We edged up slowly, no more than a few inches at a time, but when I was nearly vertical, the whole scene changed. The blood rushed away from my face. I felt clammy and in an instant the room started to spin. It was all I could do to look Nurse Webber in the eye and give her a single nod.

She was ready for me. She had the bedpan under my chin and I violently threw up into it. She wiped my mouth and gave me a cup of water.

"Don't drink it; just rinse your mouth out."

She gave Ben a worried look, and I saw Ben reaching for the crank to lower me back down again.

"No!" I shouted as I spat one last time into the bedpan. "I'm fine. Just give me a minute."

I tried to slow down my breathing. In my head I knew she was right. If I couldn't sit up and hold a conversation with the doctor, he wouldn't let me out of here. But being upright or nearly upright again was unsettling.

_What the hell happened to me?_

I was so weak that I could barely lift my arm to wipe my forehead.

"Don't fight me," Nurse Webber said. "We're going to give you some pain medicine. It's not much more than aspirin, so it won't help that much. If you're nauseous you won't be able to take a pill, so IV is the best way. You've been on pain killers for a while, and your body is going to need something to help you get by until you're more fully recovered."

I thought about arguing with her, but I was becoming more and more confident in her prophecies. I just nodded in response.

Ben pulled a syringe off the table, and then he held a vile for Nurse Webber to confirm the dosage. Nurse Webber replied to Ben and then turned to me.

"I have to go to get ready for rounds, but Ben is going to stay with you. He is going to help you get your arms and legs moving again. _Slowly_."

She said the last word so deliberately that I wasn't sure if it was a warning to Ben or instructions for me.

"I'll be back in about forty minutes with Dr. Gerandy."

As she said this she was wrapping layers of hot, wet towels around my arms and down my legs.

"Work with Ben for twenty minutes and then rest. Don't overdo it. If you're sweating, in pain, or looking haggard, he'll never give you what you want. You want answers, right?" I nodded in response. "Then be sure you rest and calm yourself before he arrives. You want him talking to you, not examining you. I'll get all of the orders written up before he arrives; you just need to sit pretty and look healthy."

For the first time since I laid eyes on her, Nurse Webber actually gave me a little smile. Then she was gone. I wanted to say thank you, but I couldn't get the words out in time. Instead, I turned to Ben.

"Is she always this pushy?" I asked with a crooked grin on my face.

"Of course she is. Isn't she amazing?" Ben answered.

It was easy to tell that he was in awe of her and most likely in love with her too. Perhaps that was why she trusted him. I guessed this wasn't the first time they had worked together to help a soldier get out of here a little sooner.

"Sir," Ben said. "We're going to start slowly with your arms and then move down to your legs. They've got to be stiff, and this is the best way to get the kinks out. If you're in pain, you have to tell me and I'll ease up. Got it?"

"Sure Ben," I said in reply.

Ben pulled my right arm into his huge hands. He unwrapped the towels and started at the top of my shoulder. He began rubbing my muscles in a circular motion. He worked all the way down to my fingers and back up again. It wasn't unpleasant, but it felt like pins and needles. When he was finished, he started to flex and bend each of my joints. It didn't really hurt, but all my joints seemed to be filled with rust and Ben was there trying to break it up. He re-wrapped my right arm and began the process with my other arm and then with each of my legs.

When he finished he asked, "Sir, can I get you a glass of water? The heat takes a lot out of you and you're probably thirsty anyway. Do you think you can stomach it?"

"Yeah, I think I need a drink, but I'd like something stronger than water. You got anything good on that cart?" I asked with another grin.

"Probably not what you're looking for, Sir, but I'll be back with the water soon."

In barely a blink, Ben returned with the water.

"Please Sir, s-low-ly," he said. "Angela will have my head if you have to throw up again. She'll be mad that I didn't listen to her about being too rough."

"I'll be fine, Ben," I said as I took a few sips from the cup. "See, nothing to worry about," I answered lifting the cup and grinning up at him.

"Good." he replied. "I know she wants to help you, Sir, and I do too."

Ben wiped me down with dry towels and changed my sheets again. Once more he asked me about any pain.

"No, I'm okay. Thank you, Ben."

"My pleasure, Sir. And, Sir," he said as he was leaving. "I really do hope it all works out well for you and your Mrs."

Ben had a touch of sadness in his eyes. I wasn't sure if that was meant for me or if he had his own thoughts of family or friends in his mind.

"I'm sure it will be, Ben. It _has _to be."

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you've enjoyed chapter one. This is my first fanfic so please let me know what you think so far. I've been doing a lot of research for this story since it takes place thirty years before I was born. I'll post my research links at the end of each chapter. Please let me know if any of the links stop working. Thanks for reading, First Blush

**The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **1

**Title **Awakening

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward is confused why the orderly is calling him "Corporal". He was a Specialist in the Army.

**Historical Significance: **The rank of Corporal is the fourth pay grade for enlisted servicemen.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/United_States_Army_enlisted_rank_insignia

* * *

**Story reference: **The KFZ is the confiscated German military vehicle that Edward used on his mission to reset bomb targets for Operation Cobra.

**Historical Significance: **The KFZ 3 was a German military vehicle used during WWII.

**Source: **Pictures are about 2/3 of the way down the page. http://www(dot)axishistory(dot)com/index(dot)php?id=5556

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward makes a reference to Bella's work with British intelligence. She worked for Project Ultra.

**Historical Significance: **Project Ultra was a British intelligence effort initiated prior to WWII.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Ultra


	2. Chapter 2 Dr Gerandy

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

Dr. Gerandy

Ben left, and I wasn't sure how long I had to steady myself before Dr. Gerandy started his rounds. I tried to order my questions in my head, so they would come out coherently. But again, I was distracted as my mind drifted to Bella.

_She pressed a small piece of paper wrapped in parchment into my hand. I looked up and saw the tears welling up in her eyes. In that moment, my heart felt like it was being sliced in two. The ache I felt pulled my shoulders inward and made it hard to breathe. The sadness in my beautiful Bella's eyes mirrored the sickening break I felt from deep within my chest. I reached up to slowly stroke her soft, warm cheek. The tears instantly fell from her eyes and pooled against my fingertips, as I continued to stroke her face. The warm wet of her shed tears against my palm pierced my heart as it painfully throbbed within my chest. My whole body shuddered. More than knowing I would leave her tomorrow was the dread of never touching her soft cheek again. Her deep, chocolate eyes burned with intensity as she stared into mine. _

_"O-Open it," she stuttered through her tears. _

_Her eyes never left mine as she nodded toward the package. Her whole being seemed to ache as I traced the piece of parchment with my fingers. Her stare, her posture, her breathing were all directed with longing at that small piece of wrapped paper. It was as if her gift could somehow convey the message she couldn't say out loud. I nodded, lifting the paper with shaking fingers, as I unwrapped it. Inside was a black and white photo of Bella. She was so beautiful, she took my breath away. The photo was of her on a sunny day, sitting under a maple tree. Her beautiful face was glowing. My own tears began to fall as I stared at the stunning image of her. She wore a light, flower-printed dress that hung just off the shoulder and pulled tight against her lovely frame. The skirt flared out and nestled into folds along her calves. The picture must have been taken just before she left for the war. I stared into her eyes in the photo, knowing that it would be those eyes that would keep me going until I could hold her again. _

_"Read the back," she whispered. The words came out so intently. _

_I turned the photo over and read the words aloud. _

_"Come back to me. _

_With all of your strength, _

_With all of your heart,_

_Survive for me as I will for you. _

_I will be waiting for your arms again _

_Until my last breath." _

_My voice choked on the last words. I looked up at her with determination, as if to will my own words to be true. _

"_Our last breath will be when we're old and gray. Our last breath will be after years of happiness, after we've watched our family grow. Our last breaths will be together. Not here, not alone in war. I swear It, Bella." _

_She was crying hard now. I reached up to my neck and dug under the collar of my shirt until I found the chain. I pulled it out from under my shirt and lifted it over my head. Before Bella could protest, I placed it around her neck. The pressure from my strained grip engraved metal links into my fingers. I leaned forward pressing my forehead to Bella's. My eyes closed in pain knowing that this would be the only protection I could offer her while I was away. Bella knew the medal at the end of the chain. I'd worn it every day, every moment she could remember, from when she first saved me to each of the nights we made love together. She gasped and started to shake her head no. I grabbed her face, just under her chin, and rubbed my thumb softly along her jaw line and over her warm lips._

"_My mother gave me this medal the day I left. She made me swear to never take it off. It's a St. Christopher's medal. She said it would protect me and keep me safe. I think she would agree with me giving it to you now. You will hold my heart forever, Bella. I know it will protect you and keep you safe as you carry my heart beside yours."_

_She shook off my hand and threw her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and just held her. What was there left to say? I was beyond pain, beyond fear. My fingers stroked down her long, brown waves as I flittered between the anguish of leaving and the terror that threatened at the idea of losing her._

The curtain was abruptly pulled back from my bed. Ben, Nurse Webber, and a man, who I presumed to be Dr. Gerandy, were all staring at me. I was still emerging from the haze of my memory of Bella. Nurse Webber was frowning. _Not a good sign._ I took a deep breath and pulled back my shoulders. I was getting the answers I needed, and then I was going to get the hell out of here.

"Corporal Masen," he began. "I'm Dr. Robert Gerandy. I'm a little surprised to see you sitting up."

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to Nurse Webber as he pressed his lips into a straight line. Before I could respond, Nurse Webber shoved a chart into his hand and began explaining the orders to him. She moved quickly down a checklist.

"Strong heart rate, steady pressure, minimal pain medicine, and a round of therapy this morning... He's progressing rather well."

"Vomiting, dizziness, and a rapid pulse as well," he answered in response, noting the other entries on the chart.

"Normal," she replied, "based on the sudden awakening and the length of his stay."

"True," he agreed.

Dr. Gerandy looked up from the chart to eye his nurse suspiciously and then turned to me.

"It seems as though you are progressing rather well today, son. How do you feel?"

"Confused," I replied.

Nurse Webber shot me a look of shock, as if I had been a traitor to her trust. Her head twitched to say no, but Dr. Gerandy met her eyes before she could give any more away.

"What is the last thing you remember before you woke up in a hospital?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. I knew that it was important to be calm and composed. I planned to speak like I was debriefing my commanding officer. My voice needed to be stark and my face unemotional. I closed my eyes briefly and allowed the memories to flood my mind.

"A month after Normandy, Operation Cobra was launched to punch the First Army through the German lines between the Vire and Lozoon rivers. The initial bombing was planned for July 24th, but was delayed due to weather. Several bombers were launched by mistake on the 24th , and there were concerns that we had lost the element of surprise. The targets were poorly marked, and bombs released that day hit American Infantrymen. Despite the losses, General Bradley was not giving up. He ordered the targets be reset for a new launch time – mid day on the 25th. At 2300, I left with three other soldiers to reset targets leading to Marigny, creating a path for the B24 and B17 bombers. They were planning low air raids at less than 800 yards when the typical floor was 3,000. Clear targets for these 'Carpet Bombers' were essential to minimizing friendly fire losses."

My breathing picked up as my memories moved toward the day of the mission.

"We crossed the front line in a confiscated German KFZ vehicle and drove in a five mile arc to reset each of our three targets. Unfortunately our return was delayed, and the raids began before we made it back to the frontline. The VII Corps was marching out of Hebecrevon ahead of the bombers. We were maybe a half mile from the previous day's front line position when a B24's bomb hit 200 yards off our left side. The debris from the bomb struck us with such heat and force. We were all injured; I don't know how bad the others were, but I was bleeding from my right side. I loosened my belt from my uniform and tied under my ribs to slow down the blood loss. I lasted for about another five minutes and then started to lose consciousness. The last thing I remember was shouting orders at the second wave of oncoming infantry to get the wounded out."

Dr. Gerandy's face was composed but serious, while Nurse Webber looked stunned. When I finished, I saw her shake off the shock as the corners of her mouth turn up at me in approval. Then she immediately turned to Dr. Gerandy.

"Corporal Masen, your account is near perfect. Why do you feel confused?" he asked.

"First, I have no idea why you're calling me Corporal. Second, I want to know how long I've been here. And third, my wife, Isabella Masen, works with British Intelligence in London. I want to know why she's not here."

Dr. Gerandy took the easy questions first, in an attempt to evade the last one.

"You were promoted to Corporal. You saved three lives in your vehicle that day including your own. We have the silver star that you were awarded, along with your other personal effects."

Dr. Gerandy seemed to be praising me for valor. I could only feel guilt over the one soldier that didn't make it. He paused for a brief moment to allow me enough time to let the information sink in. When my eyes returned to his, he continued.

"Today is September 18th, 1944. You've been here in London for a month, but you were first treated in a hospital in Bayeux, France. The shrapnel from the bomb pierced the left side of your vehicle. You were sliced through to the ribs by a piece that ricocheted off the dashboard. Somehow it managed to hit your ribs and not take off your head. We repaired most of the damage, but we needed to remove your spleen shortly after you arrived here. Most of the pain you've felt was caused by shrapnel that had been lodged around the initial wound. We had to wait until you stabilized after the first surgery to go back in again. From the looks of your pain tolerance, I'd say we got most of it. If you continue to progress, we should be able to send you home in a few weeks."

I gathered from his smirk that Dr. Gerandy was very confident he got all of the shrapnel out of me. He was also evading my last question.

"And my wife?" I pushed out in a sharp tone.

Dr. Gerandy's expression changed from a smirk to an expressionless stare. He paused to assess both my mental and physical health before delivering the news. I tensed, and my breath caught in my chest. I knew that if it was an easy answer he wouldn't have hesitated.

"Corporal Masen," he paused briefly to straighten and to look me square in the eye. "We received word that your wife Isabella was in a car traveling from London to Milton Keynes in late June. The car was bombed in an air raid, and your wife was badly burned. Her injuries were severe, and we were informed that she did not survive…I'm very sorry for your loss."

He stepped forward to put his hand on my shoulder, but if he did, I didn't feel it. My eyes squinted, and I resolved in my head, _No!_

"NO!" I shouted. The whole ward could have heard me for all I cared.

_NO! _I would not believe it until I put my hand on her cold chest and saw that her eyes would never open to me again. She didn't _feel_ dead to me. Somewhere in my head I wondered if it was shock or denial but _all_ of my heart was screaming _NO, NO, NO! I __will__ find her._

"You have two days to get me out of here," I spat at him. "You either get me out, or I'll get myself out."

I turned to Nurse Webber, and she and Ben both nodded toward me which helped my resolve. Dr. Gerandy couldn't see either of them. He was standing in front of me with his hand on my shoulder.

"Son," he began. "I know this is a shock, but we don't want to put your recovery at risk by discharging you sooner than you're ready."

"I'm ready now. You can either help me, or I'll manage it by myself. But I _will_ find her," I vowed.

My mind raced ahead to my next steps because the conscious acknowledgement of her death was too much for me to even begin to handle. Instead my mind worked on the contingencies and actions to get me to her last commander. I stared down Dr. Gerandy as I spoke.

"I need you to get word to Colonel Swan that I'm coming, and I'll need a driver to get me to ETOUSA. If anyone knows where she's buried, or if she's alive, he will."

I don't know what changed in Dr. Gerandy's mind. Maybe it was the resolve in my tone, maybe it was his solemn hope for the happy ending he knew I wouldn't have, or maybe it was just his own blind faith telling him that there had to be a way through this hell of war. Whatever it was, he ultimately agreed.

"Get him eating," he ordered to Nurse Webber and Ben.

He looked down at me, staring intently.

"I'm still your doctor, and if you can't walk in two days, you're _not_ leaving."

"I will," I responded curtly.

With that he shook my hand and then left with the others to finish rounds. Ben pulled the curtain, and I rolled onto my side. I was glad because I needed some time to process all of this. I needed some time to think, some time to let it start to sink in.

"She is alive," I said it out loud, if only to commit to myself that it was true.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you've enjoyed learning a little more about what happened to Edward and Bella in chapter two. Trust me, chapter three will be worth the wait 'till next week. This is my first fanfic so please let me know what you think so far. Thanks for reading, First Blush

**The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **2

**Title **Dr. Gerandy

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes his mission in support of Operation Cobra.

**Historical Significance:** Operation Cobra was the battle that broke through the German defense line after Normandy. It was the first time Carpet Bombings were used.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Operation_Cobra http://cghs(dot)dadeschools(dot)net/normandy/cobra_falaise/cobra(dot)htm

Progression Map: http://www(dot)onwar(dot)com/maps/wwii/normandy/cobra(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Dr. Gerardy tells Edward that he's been awarded the Silver Star for his efforts in Operation Cobra.

**Historical Significance:** The Silver Star is the third highest military award for gallantry in action.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Silver_star

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward asks Dr. Gerardy for help getting him to ETOUSA to see Colonel Swan

**Historical Significance:** ETOUSA is the European Theater of Operations for WWII based in London and established in 1942.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/European_Theater_of_Operations


	3. Chapter 3 ETOUSA

**Thanks or hanging in there with me. Chapter three is the first really intense chapter in the story and I've been chomping at the bit to get it published. I hope you enjoy it.**

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

ETOUSA

The old military jeep clanked along on the ride to headquarters. ETOUSA was the military headquarters for the U.S. Army and all military activity in Europe fell under its command. I sat in the back during the bumpy ride with the letter from General Bradley in my left hand and a cane in my right. I rubbed my thumb over the smooth brass ball at the top of the cane. There was nothing wrong with my legs. My muscles were just atrophied from months of lying in a hospital bed. I smiled remembering the look Nurse Webber had given me when she had handed me the cane. She was proud of how quickly she'd been able to get me on my feet. It had taken three days to get me into "decent shape" as she called it. I had been just strong enough to convince Dr. Gerandy to approve my discharge papers. He had thought three days was too rushed, but for me it was torturously long. I needed answers and Colonel Swan was the only person who could give them to me.

The jeep took a nasty lurch in and out of a huge hole in the road. I winced from the jolt. The sky was thick with clouds, and there was an awful smell of leftover soot and ash in the air. I didn't notice much during the ride. I didn't want to, not really. The London I remembered was much more beautiful than this shell of a city. Many of the buildings were crumbled from the nightly air raids. My driver needed to swerve several times during the trip to avoid hazards and debris in the road. I clutched my hand around the paper in my left hand. The noise made the driver's eyes pick up to see me in the rear view mirror. He was young…_too_ young. His deep blue eyes and wavy blond hair were familiar in a way. He turned his eyes back to the road, and in that instant I recognized the familiarity. He reminded me of _Riley_. I took in a painful breath, and before I could stop myself, the memory of that horrific that day filled my mind.

_I was walking home from school. Riley was right on my heels again as was usual. I sighed in frustration as we rounded the corner and started up the steps of our apartment. Yes, at times it was infuriating to have my younger brother as a near constant shadow. I fought to remind myself that it wouldn't be this way much longer. I knew that I would miss him. There was only one month until my eighteenth birthday and I could feel the weight of the draft letter that I knew would be arriving in the mail. I would miss him. I tried to remind myself of that, but today I just wanted to be left alone. We neared the top of the fifth floor, and with two to go, I could feel my breath catching up with me. I wanted to be strong enough to climb all seven flights without getting winded. I hoped the endurance would serve me well in boot camp and eventually in battle. As I slipped my key into the door, I could feel my shadow right behind me. I tossed my books in the hall and hung up my jacket. Dinner was simmering on the stove. It was Wednesday, which meant spaghetti with salad and ambrosia for dessert._

"_Hi, Mom," I called out from the hall._

"_Oh, Edward, you're home. Good. I know you just walked in, but can you run down to Maggiano's for me? I need some bread and some more parmesan for dinner tonight."_

_I sighed again as I hit the kitchen. My mom was wearing a light green housecoat while she presided over the pots of water and sauce simmering on the stove. She tasted the sauce from the wooden spoon and shuddered a bit as it had obviously burned her tongue. She nodded to herself, then turned to me and smiled warmly. _

"_Sure, Mom," I said in reply._

_She stepped forward and threw her arms around me. I was taller than my dad, whom Riley resembled, while I favored our mom. She had to reach up a bit to hug me around my shoulders. The scent from her perfume and the glint in her green eyes made me instantly feel happier. She hugged me fiercely, and as she looked over my shoulder, she noticed Riley standing in the kitchen behind me. She released me and began to reach for Riley. After giving him the same warm greeting, she began to question him about a math test. I knew that this was my chance to escape. I slithered out of the kitchen while Mom berated Riley about geometry. I quickly grabbed some spare change from the side table drawer, closed the door behind me, and ambled back down the steps._

_It was only two blocks to Maggiano's. It was a warm, spring day that felt a bit more like summer. The afternoon sun warmed my face as I got to the end of the first block and turned a quick left. I was about halfway down the second block when I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know it was my shadow behind me again. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. _

_As I approached the corner and Maggiano's window, I heard shouting from inside. I stopped abruptly before reaching the step. I peered through the glass door between the advertisements and flyers that were taped to the glass. Inside I saw Mr. Maggiano behind the counter and his wife standing closely to a man I didn't know. My eyes fell upon the open cash register and Mr. Maggiano working furiously to empty it. I turned around and looked at Riley who was now less than ten feet behind me. _

"_GO HOME. __NOW__!" I sputtered._

_I didn't look at him long enough to see his reaction. I turned again and strode into the store. The bell above the door announced my entrance. _

"_Hey, Mr. Maggiano," I yelled. "My mom wants to know if the bread is fresh today."_

_Maggiano's made fresh bread every day. I've known this since I was old enough to walk down to the store myself. I hoped my obvious flub would let Mr. Maggiano know I was going to try to help. He looked up at me at me with an expression of relief mixed with new fear. _

_The robber turned and flashed his gun toward me with wild eyes. Just as quickly as he had thrust it at me he returned it to Mrs. Maggiano's side. There was no question that he was encouraging Mr. Maggiano to hurry up. The robber's face was matted with sweat. His breathing caught in his chest as if he were hyperventilating. His movements were erratic and unplanned. His hand shot up and he pointed his gun at me again. _

"_Sit down and shut up," he spit at me in an infuriated tone. _

_I could see the anxiety pouring out of him. His nerves were frayed. He appeared to be teetering on the edge of his composure. I took a step back and pondered how to get Mrs. Maggiano safely away from the man. I deliberately took a second step back knowing I would jostle a display of boxes behind me. The noise muffled the sound of my hand curling around the loose change in my pocket. In his nervousness, Mr. Maggiano knocked a box of pens off the counter. The disruption distracted the robber for just an instant and I took my chance. _

_I pulled my hand from my pocket and threw the loose change toward the ground lying just a few feet behind the robber. His anxiety coupled with paranoia forced him to turn and point the gun in the direction of the noise. I hurled myself at him. My body collided with his, sending us both crashing toward the floor. In that brief flash of time, I heard Mrs. Maggiano's horrified scream, the sound of boxes tumbling to the ground, the clang of a bell and the explosion of his gun. The robber's head hit the ground with a loud, "thwack" and he appeared to be knocked out cold. The gun flew from his fingers as he lost consciousness. The weight of my body caused a sickening crack in his chest. The force of the landing probably broke one or more of his ribs and knocked the wind out of me. I struggled to catch my breath again while Mr. Maggiano leaped over the counter. Mr. Maggiano rolled the robber over onto his stomach and gathered his hands behind his back. _

_"Gina! Get me some rope from behind the register."_

_Mrs. Maggiano wasn't hurt. She was standing above me while I fought for air. She dashed around the counter to grab the rope and an instant later I heard her scream. I looked at the robber. Had he moved? No, he was still out cold. I flipped my head up to Mrs. Maggiano. She was frozen in terror, clutching her hands to her chest, while looking off toward the front of the store. There was blood splattered off on the glass door. I couldn't see around the boxes that were piled at the end of the aisle. I only saw a shoe…no, it was a sneaker. It was there at the edge of the aisle facing up as if the owner were lying on the ground. _

_But it wasn't __a__ sneaker. It was Riley's sneaker._

"_Oh God…NO! __RILEY!__"_

_I scrambled off the floor to reach him. My legs were like Jell-o. I threw myself forward and around the aisle. I fell to the ground. As I crawled toward him my shoes slipped and skidded through blood. Red, thick liquid was leaking out of Riley and onto the white tile floor. I knelt beside his head and thrust my arms under his neck and around his chest. I pulled him toward me and screamed aloud in my own agony. _

"_Riley! RI-LEEE!" _

_My chest stabbed with pain. I searched for some response from him. Something, __anything__ to tell me there was still a chance to help him. _

_There was nothing. He was gone. _

A soft moan of pain came from deep in my throat. The driver's eyes looked up at me again in the rear view mirror. The abruptness of his movement pulled me back from the agony of the vision in my mind's eye. I looked at his familiar blue eyes again in the rear mirror.

"How old are you, soldier?"

"Nineteen," he replied.

"You work for Colonel Swan?" I asked.

"Yes, sir," he replied.

"Is he still the meanest SOB in ETOUSA?"

"SIR, YES, SIR," he replied again.

I had to laugh a little.

"I'm not surprised; leopards don't change their spots either. He was that way when I worked for him too."

I grimaced at the young eyes again. I had been nineteen when I was assigned to Colonel Swan. Bella had been twenty.

"Yeah, he's a prick to work for, but the scenery is nice." The soldier knew immediately what I was describing.

"Sir, yes, sir," he replied again with a half snort half chuckle.

"That's where I met my Bella. She worked for him too."

I was caught off guard by my own statement.

_Bella works for him. Not past tense. She's alive._

"Do I know her, sir?" the private asked.

There was a catch of tension in his question. He wouldn't want to be caught lusting over a senior ranking soldier's wife. If he had met Bella, he surely would have lusted over her. I had no doubts about that.

"When did you start working for Colonel Swan?"

"I started two months ago, sir."

Bella's car was bombed in June. No, he didn't know her. I didn't want to talk about my reason for meeting with Colonel Swan.

"No, you wouldn't have met her. But trust me, if you _had_ met her, you would have remembered. She's unforgettable."

The jeep slowed as we made the last turn. I barely recognized the street, let alone the building, but there it was, 20 Grosvenor Square, the ETOUSA headquarters. The building seemed to have grown larger since the last time I saw it. ETOUSA was five stories tall and took up an entire city block. The jeep lurched to a stop and backfired. The soldier turned around to me apologetically.

"We just don't have the parts to keep these things in good running order."

I nodded and reached for the door. The young soldier was there as I forced my legs over the side of the seat to find the pavement. The soldier reached under my arm and pulled me forward. At best I was still awkward on my feet. The cane served to steady me as I looked at the monstrosity. Mercifully for me, there were no steps leading up to the entrance of HQ. I paused to gather myself and struggled to keep my balance as I determinedly made my way toward the door. The soldier ran ahead of me and opened the door. Once inside, my dress shoes clopped against the polished floor. My eyes adjusted from the sunlight to the darkness of the familiar main entrance. Three servicemen stood behind a raised mahogany desk. They were flanked on either side by four sets of armed personnel. All eyes were on me as I moved at my snail's pace toward them. I could see the tightening in the corners of their eyes. They barely moved, but it was there. Certainly they would have all been desensitized to injured soldiers, but in their places I would have acted the same way. The "will that be me" question was on their lips. It was a part of every soldier's existence here.

I made the last ten feet to the desk and looked up at them commandingly. I spoke before they could, puffing out my chest to ensure that I would be taken seriously.

"I'm Corporal Edward Masen of the VII Corps commanded by Major General Joseph Collins. I'm here to see Colonel Swan".

It was a demand more than a simple statement. The nametag of the soldier in the middle read Ateara. He looked down as he shuffled some papers. His expression turned sour as he was unable to find my name on a list of expected appointments. I smacked my hand down on top of the desk with as much force as I could possibly muster. The sound echoed through the entire hall. Each soldier's head snapped to me both in suspicion and in shock. My eyes never left Ateara's face. He looked at the folded, single-page letter beneath my hand. I shoved my hand forward sliding the paper toward him. I pulled my hand back as the young soldier reached for General Bradley's letter.

_**September 19, 1944**_

_**Corporal Edward Masen has dutifully served me and the United States Army under the VII Corps in Marigny, France. This past July, Corporal Masen was injured during Operation Cobra. His bravery and valor during this covert operation saved the lives of hundreds of infantrymen and earned him the Silver Star. Corporal Masen has spent the last two months recovering from the injuries he sustained during the final stage of his mission. His last conscious act was to save the lives of the men he led during the mission.**_

_**Corporal Masen has requested my assistance in arranging a meeting with Colonel Swan. His wife, Isabella Masen, was assigned to Project Ultra. Mrs. Masen was injured while assisting in the transmission of encoded information to a SLU officer in Milton Keynes. She is presumed dead.**_

_**I know you will do everything within your power to assist Corporal Masen in finding and identifying his wife's remains to return to the United States.**_

_**Sincerely yours,**_

_**Omar N. Bradley**_

_**General U.S. Army**_

The soldier up looked at me. His expression changed from suspicion to a mixture of both remorse and admiration. He folded the sheet of paper and then returned my letter to my hand. He personally escorted me to the elevator and up to the third floor toward Colonel Swan's office. The walk would have been short had it not been for my slow pace. I made a conscious effort to walk as straight and upright as possible. We made our way down a long corridor of the third floor. Ateara pushed open a wooden door with an opaque glass center. Colonel Swan's name was in black letters on the door. The scent of cigarettes, stale perfume and coffee wafted through the door as I entered.

To my left, the secretarial pool was pounding away on their typewriter keys. The main reception desk was sprawled out ahead of me. The office was a flurry of activity. It seemed to be a disjointed form of controlled chaos. Servicemen strode quickly between offices, carrying papers and teletype reports.

Ateara reached the receptionist first and began telling her that I needed to see Colonel Swan. The receptionist was an attractive woman in her mid twenties. Her long, wavy hair draped over her blouse as she reviewed Colonel Swan's agenda for the day. She looked up at Ateara and then shook her head. She bristled at the idea of breaking his schedule. I knew that look. Colonel Swan didn't get his reputation as the meanest SOB in ETOUSA by accident. He ate his staff for breakfast and had the others in the hallway for lunch. Bella told me that he had tried that with her too...but just once. Luckily for Colonel Swan, Bella had left him alive. My sigh at the pleasant memory of Bella distracted Ateara and the receptionist from their conversation.

"Look, he needs to see Colonel Swan. Now."

"It's impossible. Right now he's on the phone with the Chief of Staff of the War Plans division."

"Shelly, he has a letter signed from General Bradley himself dated two days ago. I think you better clear his schedule as soon as he gets off the phone."

Shelly shook her head at the thought of breaking into Colonel Swan's office. She knew that people had been fired or reassigned to less pleasant positions for far less. She drew a deep breath and asked for my letter. I stepped forward and handed it to her a bit more gently than I had presented it to Ateara. She paused to read it while I gauged her reaction. She looked at me with remorseful eyes. Determination flashed across her face as she stepped back and turned around toward Colonel Swan's office. My shoulders slumped just a bit with relief. I knew one way or another I would see Colonel Swan today. I turned to go back toward the entrance to lean against the wall there. My legs were already more than a little tired. I took my first unsteady step and was nearly knocked over by a woman flying through the aisle with teletype pages in her hands.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, please forgive me," she said.

The woman turned and grabbed me just under my elbow to steady me. She read my eyes before I had a chance to balance myself.

"Edward?" she asked.

It was Victoria Livingston; she was Colonel Swan's first assistant and one of the most tenured members of his staff. Victoria and Bella were friends. Bella had saved Victoria from Colonel Swan's wrath when she found and corrected intelligence information just before it reached the Colonel's desk last May.

"Yes, Victoria, it's me."

Just then there was a furious roar from Colonel Swan's office.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing pulling me off the line to see a soldier who happened to walk into my office?" _

"I think I'd better go," Victoria said quickly.

She turned and marched into Colonel Swan's office to rescue Shelly.

"_Sir, it's Edward Masen. He's here to see you about Bella." _

"_He brought a letter from General Bradley asking us to help him." _Shelly added.

There was a brief pause.

"_Send him in and shut the door."_

Victoria and Shelly reappeared. Victoria gave me a soft smile and asked me to follow her.

I struggled to weave my way through the desks and flying personnel to Colonel Swan's office. He was standing with his back to me, staring out the window lost in thought. The sunlight exposed the deep creases in his face as he furrowed his brow. The sound of my cane hitting the floor pulled him from his daydream.

"Edward, come in. Sit down," he said motioning to a chair.

"I think I'll stand, sir."

I'd been thinking about this moment for four days now. I went through every possible emotion and reaction in my head. Above all the other emotions was my anger. I wanted to strangle Colonel Swan and spit in his face. What remained of my composure was on the verge of disintegrating. A _night_ drop! What could Colonel Swan have been thinking? Ultra deliveries were _always_ under a solid cover. They were overt operations. Driving at night was ludicrous. Cars weren't allowed to drive with headlights on for fear of providing a perfect target for an air raid. And yet, he let Bella walk right into one. I wanted to rip him apart for putting her in that kind of danger. I firmly believed she was alive, but the fear of hearing something different paralyzed me. I knew I didn't have the composure to sit down and hear his news. I stared down at the dark mahogany desk. I placed my cane on top of it and put both hands on the front edge. I leaned forward, hunching my shoulders, and braced myself for his words.

"Edward, she's alive."

I let out a rush of choked air. My arms began to shake so violently that the items on his desk were vibrating and moving beneath me. Colonel Swan came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Sit down, Edward."

He led me back a few steps and I sat in one of the black leather armchairs. I leaned forward and put my head in both of my hands. The relief was exquisite. I had been convinced she was alive, but to hear it from his mouth made my heart swell. My face burned and tears welled in my eyes.

"Edward, it's not good."

I looked up from my hands, stunned to hear the words. My expression went blank. My breath caught in my chest. It was trapped there in confusion and apprehension over what he was about to say.

Colonel Swan's voice was restrained.

"The accident was at the end of June. I moved her to a burn unit at an Army hospital in Stoneleigh Park last month. The burns are on her legs. Edward, severe doesn't begin to describe it." He swallowed hard. "I call every couple of days to check on her. Two weeks ago she developed an infection. It's bad. I signed the transfer order late last week to get her back to the U.S. They won't send her. They told me she won't survive the trip."

"Won't survive?"

_Won't survive?_ I wasn't really asking Colonel Swan for a diagnosis. I just couldn't wrap my head around the statement. Bella and I would survive anything for one another. It was our promise, no, our _vow_ to each other.

"What the hell am I still doing here? Take me to her. Now!

"Edward, there's more. Bella was pregnant at the time of the accident. She delivered in August, a month too soon. The baby was stillborn. It was a girl. I'm very sorry."

Pregnant? Delivering our child, _my_ child, alone. Mourning her, alone? The agony of it was too much. My head fell into my hands again. My body shook with the need to find her. I needed to pull Bella into my arms and help her by sharing our grief. But I was not about to leave Colonel Swan's office before extracting a pound of flesh from him first. There was no doubt in my mind who was responsible for this. My head snapped up from my hands to face him.

"You call that an accident?" I spat at him.

My voice was like acid on his skin. My words and my eyes tried to burn him.

"You arrogant son of a bitch, what were you thinking? Night drops? While she was pregnant of all things?"

"I'll ignore that statement to a commanding officer, Edward…_Once."_

Colonel Swan was not about to let me forget who was in command, especially not when his staff was within shouting distance. His command was based on his authority. He couldn't afford anyone doubting his leadership and neither could the Army. His command was absolute and unflappable no matter how responsible he may have felt for Bella's injuries.

"She hid the pregnancy, Edward. Nobody knew."

He looked down upon me and paused to put his hands on the back of the black leather chair that sat across from mine.

"Edward, staying in Ultra was her best shot at keeping tabs on you when you were reassigned to the front." His voice turned sarcastic. "Your _skill_ in rooting out risky and highly sensitive assignments was bound to follow you from London to Marigny. She knew it, and your letter here from brass just proves it."

He threw General Bradley's letter back at me. He was right. The missions I got involved in _were_ more dangerous. My reputation for fearlessness preceded me through my Ultra connections to General Bradley's command. It wasn't that I went looking for those types of assignments, at least not any more.

"Bella decided to stay with Ultra despite the pregnancy. You know her well enough to understand her motives."

He was right; I knew that was exactly what Bella would have done.

"How the hell did she wind up in a night drop?"

"We believed that SCU1 at Whaddon Hall had been compromised by an Abwehr spy ring. We needed to find out for sure. The next information drop was due in twelve hours. The Special Liaison Officer needed a cover to get the transmission to Whaddon Hall by morning and Bella was the cover. She volunteered to _pretend_ to be very pregnant so that her husband could get her out of London and into the safety of his family's home near Milton Keynes. Once there, she would deliver her baby."

"Delivering a pregnant woman at night? Who would buy that?"

"Apparently any man who has ever heard his wife say, it's time."

"Of all the stupid…and you let her go?"

"Yes."

The remorse was there in his eyes. One more decision he would wretch over during this war and probably for the rest of his life. I could see it, the pile of decisions that were weighing on him. It was his command, his duty, to bear the burden of the decisions he made. My pound of flesh was nothing compared to the weight he would bear for eternity.

"Get me to her."

"My car is downstairs. Whitlock is my driver. He switched cars. He'll be waiting for you at the door.

"Good luck, Edward."

Colonel Swan's face was pained. He reached out to shake my hand. I looked at the gesture before me and considered the court-martial for a half a second.

_No, she needs me more_, I thought.

And so I turned to him, nodded and shook his hand. I saluted him, more out of obligation than respect.

"Thank you, Colonel. I will try to manage what she needs on my own, but I will call again if she needs your help.

"Do that. I want to see her again."

With that, I nodded once more and hobbled out of his office.

* * *

******A/N:** Any guesses who 'Shelly' is? Hint: She's one of the original characters from SM's books. She appears in _Twilight_, _Eclipse_ and _Midnight Sun_.

I hope you've enjoyed chapter three, let me know what you think so far.

Thanks for reading, First Blush

* * *

******The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 3 - ETOUSA

**Story reference: **Edward's hand curls around the letter signed by General Omar Bradley who acknowledges his valor in Operation Cobra

**Historical Significance: **General Omar Bradley planned Operation Cobra and led the effort to break through the German lines on the way to liberating Paris.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/General_Omar_Bradley

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward sees and remembers the ETOUSA Headquarters building in London

**Historical Significance: **Photograph of 20 Grosvenor Square, London, ETOUSA Headquarters.

**Source: **http://www(dot)ibiblio(dot)org/hyperwar/USA/USA-E-Logistics1/img/USA-E-Logistics1-p17(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward tells the soldier in the lobby of ETOUSA that he is from the VII Corps under Major General Joseph Collins

**Historical Significance: **Major General Joseph Collins was known as Lightening Joe. Under his command the VII Corps played a leading role in Operation Cobra.

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/J(dot)_Lawton_Collins

Progression Map: http://www(dot)onwar(dot)com/maps/wwii/normandy/cobra(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Shelly tells Ateara that Colonel Swan is on the phone with the Chief of Staff of the War Plans division

**Historical Significance: **The chief activating agent in the system of Army high command was the War Plans Division of the General Staff.

**Source: **http://ibiblio(dot)org/hyperwar/USA/USA-WD-Ops/USA-WD-Ops-2(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Colonel Swan tells Edward about the threat of espionage from the Abwehr that could destroy an intelligence drop

**Historical Significance: **The Abwehr was one of two competing espionage organizations in Germany during WWII

**Source: **http://en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Abwehr


	4. Chapter 4 Stoneleigh Park

****

AN: In case some others were wondering, time moves back and forth in the early part of this story. TLB starts in the middle of Edward and Bella's love story and for now, the best way for me to show you how much they love one another is through Edward's memories. The memories won't be a part of every chapter but I do use them to help tell the back story. Hopefully it rounds out their characters and allows you to love them as much as I do.

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

**Stoneleigh Park**

I ambled through the corridor of the third floor faster than I thought my weak legs could have carried me. Once I got off of the elevator, the sheer force of my determination pulled me through the lobby. One of the soldiers held the door for me as my cane and dress shoes clanked through the entrance. The car was there just as Colonel Swan said it would be. I looked up to find the same driver waiting for me. Whitlock held the open door as I climbed into the staff car. As he shut the door behind me, I noticed food on the seat and a folder of papers beside it. I heard the driver's side door slam and the engine start to roar.

"It will take about two and a half hours to get there, sir. It would normally take less, but with the roads you never know."

"As fast as you can, soldier."

"Yes, sir."

I pulled the folder onto my lap as the soldier pealed out onto Grosvenor Square. The folder was filled with reports and telegram messages. The most recent message was on top. I picked up the thin paper to read it.

~~~oooOooo~~~

**Army Message Received September 18, 1944**

**This C in C message has been received from Dr. Carlisle Cullen 8TH Convalescent Hospital, Stoneleigh Park **

**– Message Begins –**

**Colonel Swan, I received your transfer request for Mrs. Masen. Her health continues to deteriorate as the result of a developing infection. We believe the infection is progressing from the source site. Due to the severity of the infection, I do not recommend transfer at this time. I regret to inform you that at this time her survival is doubtful.**

**– Message Ends –**

I cringed forward, wrapping the telegram around my fists and into my forehead. It was as if I'd been punched in the gut. The eighteenth, that was three days ago. I pinched my eyes shut and pushed my palms farther into my forehead. _God, Bella, please, please wait for me. I'm coming for you, baby. _

I pulled myself up, trying to find the inner strength to believe I would find her in time. I reached back down to the folder and pulled out another telegram.

~~~oooOooo~~~

**Army Message Received August 10, 1944**

**This C in C message has been received from Dr. Carlisle Cullen 8TH Convalescent Hospital, Stoneleigh Park **

**– Message Begins –**

**Colonel Swan, Mrs. Masen shows some signs of progress in the recovery from her injuries. The burns are as severe as any I've experienced in all my years of medical practice. Her pain tolerance is astounding. We do sedate her when necessary to ease the pain and often on the days we change her dressings.**

**We are continuing our efforts to track down a death certificate and burial site for her stillborn daughter. The staff at Mill Hill Emergency Hospital in Harrow, who first treated Mrs. Masen, has been unable to assist us to date. Mrs. Masen continues to ask for our assistance. She was not able to see her daughter after giving birth. We will continue our search at your request. I agree that finding the physical documents will help her find a measure of peace so she can focus on her own recovery. **

**– Message Ends -**

She never saw the baby? Not once? The only way I could imagine it was if she had been completely under during the delivery. She would have done anything to see her, anything to hold her… I shook my head, not wanting to acknowledge how painful this would have been for Bella, both physically and emotionally. Drawing a deep breath, I pulled out another message. I placed my elbow on my lap and curled my hand to hold under my chin and cover my mouth. Shaking my head in despair, I wondered if either of us could take anymore.

~~~oooOooo~~~

**Army Message Received August 31, 1944**

**This C in C message has been received from Dr. Carlisle Cullen 8TH Convalescent Hospital, Stoneleigh Park **

**– Message Begins –**

**Colonel Swan, my concerns for Mrs. Masen's health are as much for her mental stability as her physical health. News of the death of her husband reached her earlier this week. She suffers from denial, refusing to believe the reports. This news, coupled with the death of her daughter, seriously threatens her outlook for recovery.**

**Her burns continue to heal. The progress is slow but steady. The new grafts are just beginning to mesh. Despite the progress, we are continually on guard for risks of infection and rejection of the grafts. As always, you have my word that we will continue to do all we can for her. **

**– Message ends –**

Shutting my eyes, I threw the folder and the rest of the messages at the open seat. I closed my eyes in prayer, one fervent request for Bella's life. I'd gladly give my own life in return. _Please God,_ I mouthed.

My driver looked up at me. I could tell by the rev of the engine that he was flying as fast as he could, and I was relieved by his effort. I looked to the sack on the seat next to me for a distraction. I wasn't hungry, but I pulled it toward me anyway.

"You hungry?" I asked.

"No, thank you, sir."

I pulled out a large sandwich, some fruit and a bottle of milk.

"I don't know what it is, but it's bound to be better than nothing. Here, take it."

I ripped off half of the sandwich and held it over the seat toward him. He half smiled to acknowledge the gesture and show his gratitude.

"So you're nineteen, huh?"

"Yes, sir".

"And you've worked for Colonel Swan for a couple of months?"

"Yes, sir".

"Any action yet?"

I half grinned. He knew what I meant. The real action he wanted, the action we all wanted, was in intelligence. He was definitely in the right place.

"No, sir."

"It will come," I answered in a garbled tone. I was still chewing my last mouthful.

"Not soon enough," he replied with an exasperated huff.

"So eager to get yourself killed," I fumed.

The words came out harsher than I had intended. The soldier looked up at me in the rear view mirror. I caught his eyes. He grimaced and shook his head once. I could tell he heard that, or something close to it, more than once before.

"I guess I shouldn't judge. I was the same way when I came to work for Colonel Swan last year."

"Sir?" he asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

He grinned back at me. I reached into the sack, grabbed the bottle of milk, and unscrewed the lid. It was still cold and quenched my thirst. I reached forward and handed it over the seat to him.

"It's not beer, but at least it's cold."

"Thank you, sir," he offered.

"Edward," I replied.

He looked a bit shocked that I would be so casual, but I didn't care that I outranked him.

"I'm Jasper," he replied.

"The best way to thank me, Jasper, is to keep your foot to the floor."

The car lurched forward again as he pushed it faster through the countryside. I hadn't noticed the time of day or the weather. It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that I was getting closer to her. I would have her in my arms soon.

"What project words are you hearing?" I asked, needing to keep the conversation going for my own sanity.

"They don't say too much around me. I heard something about Milton Keynes."

"Anything else?"

He thought for a minute, trying to wrack his brain for the smallest slip of a code word.

"Ultra, I think."

"If you were close enough to hear that, it won't be long."

Jasper grinned. It was quite obvious that he was too impatient for his own good.

"Jasper, intelligence is a dangerous business. Casualties come often and new people are asked to step up. It is something to take very seriously."

He was intrigued, and I desperately needed a distraction from my nerves and the hollowness in my gut.

"Do you know what a drop is?"

He nodded. I couldn't be sure if he was bluffing just to keep me talking or if he really knew what it was. I began leaning forward to size him up. I knew that I could be court-martialed for leaking intelligence. In the end, he was going know soon, so I continued.

_I was called up by Colonel Swan. He needed a driver. I walked into his office and there was Isabella. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, and she was standing three feet from me. I was shaking like a leaf, but I knew I needed to get myself together. Colonel Swan didn't give second chances. He was staring me down already, and I hadn't even made it all the way into his office. _

_They needed a radio drop in thirty six hours. The original cover was blown. A Special Liaison Unit (SLU) team had been killed two weeks prior in route to the War Office in London. We weren't told if it was an accident or if it was espionage, but we knew they were one team short for the drops. Bella and I were being assigned to the easier mission, driving a Special Communications Unit (SCU) embedded in a Packard to Hanslope Park. _

_Bella was the lead, and I was assigned as her deputy. I was more than shocked. SLUs and SCUs were officers. Bella was a civilian. It wasn't that I didn't think she could do it. She was too precious, too beautiful to get wrapped up in this._

_Suddenly outraged over the danger he was putting her in, I shouted, "But she's a woman!" to Colonel Swan. I just spoke before I could think; I didn't want to see her get hurt._

_Bella absolutely hated me for saying that. She was seething behind her beautiful lips. She must have heard one too many comments like mine during her career. It was as if she was on a mission to prove every small-minded, pig-headed man wrong. She was so condescending as she looked down at the single stripe on my uniform. She spat back at Colonel Swan saying, "Who the hell asked him? You're sending me with a specialist?"_

_Then she got downright indignant. She looked at me with hate-filled eyes and said, "Screw him, I'll drive myself." _

_That stabbed me to my core. I didn't want her hatred. From that very moment, I knew I would do anything for her and do anything to protect her. I recognized a twinge of hesitation in her voice, but regardless, I knew she would have gone alone anyway just to prove her point._

_Colonel Swan didn't have time for our childish behavior. He looked at Bella. "You're the lead, and he's your deputy. That's it or I'll find someone else." She straightened up and quickly pursed her lips. Colonel Swan walked to his office door and waved in a young boy. "This is Seth Winterbotham. Bella, he will be acting as your younger brother. Your driver" -he nodded toward me as he said this- "will be taking you and Seth on a day trip to visit family over the spring sabbatical."_

_I found out later that Bella had an English nanny as a child, which allowed her to imitate the proper accent when needed. The real shock was Seth. His father was the British commander who organized Ultra's distribution network. He was only sixteen. It seemed that both he and his father were all too eager for him to get a taste of military life before he could officially enlist." This "taste" would nearly cost him his life._

_Colonel Swan gave us his final instructions. "You drive the Packard, drop it at the site with our contact, then drive the dummy car back here. You leave at 0900 sharp."_

_We stood up to leave. I was the last one to make it through the door. Then Colonel Swan called me back in. _

"_Shut the door," he said. _

"_Edward, there is always the possibility of our information being compromised. I want you to take this, memorize it and then burn it. It's a new route map up to Hanslope Park. You and I are the only two that know about this. Isabella only knows the planned route. When you change direction, it will make her uneasy. Give her an excuse about the roads being impassable. If you can't rein her in, you just need to give her one word: NEWBORN. Try not to say it in front of the boy if possible. I expect to see you back here before dark tomorrow night." I took the map, saluted him and left his office. _

_We left at 0900 sharp. I wore a chauffeur's uniform. Bella was dressed as a high school girl followed by her younger brother, Seth. I held the door with a half grin as they stepped into the black sedan. _

_We were about an hour into the trip when I split off of the planned route just north of Bedmond. I had the map memorized just as Colonel Swan had instructed. The diversion would take us another hour out of our way. Bella noticed right away, but I refused to look at her in the rear view mirror. I heard her breath catch but didn't acknowledge it out loud. We got as far as Dagnaw when Bella asked that we stop for lunch. I pulled into the town and stopped just off Main street so that she could buy some sandwiches. I couldn't leave the car, and Seth stayed with me while Bella searched out a restaurant. I was unnerved at the idea of not being able to see her. She probably only had to turn the corner and go down a block to find us some food, but she would be out of my line of sight. I thought about Colonel Swan's warning and the possibility of being compromised. After a few minutes, I asked Seth to stay in the car and I walked to the corner. I looked in both directions up and down the street, but there was no sign of her. I tried to remain calm. I would give her three more minutes and then we were going after her. Two minutes and thirty seven seconds later, I saw her emerge from one of the buildings at the end of the next block. I took a deep breath while she hurried toward me with a bag in her arms. _

_She snapped at me, "Why aren't you with the car?" _

"_Because I was worried about you," I replied. _

_She eyed me suspiciously. After all, I was the one who diverted us from the planned route. As we walked back to the car just out of Seth's earshot, she turned and asked, "Why did you leave the route?" _

_I followed Colonel Swan's instructions and lied, "Because I could see damage farther up the road from an air raid." _

_She squinted her eyes, not certain if she should believe me, and climbed back into the car. She started to unwrap the food, and I turned the key in the ignition. Nothing happened. Immediately her eyes shot up at me. I peeked at her in the rear view and tried again. Nothing. I got out of the car mumbling profanities to myself and lifted the hood. I heard the door slam and the click of Bella's heels as she came around the front of the car. _

"_Get back in the car," I told her. "The lady of the manor doesn't fix the cars." I was worried about keeping up the cover. _

"_The hell I will," she said. "What's going on? Your line about the route being blocked was bullshit. Now the car won't start. You give me a straight answer, or I'm taking matters into my own hands." _

_I ignored her, bending over and placing my hands on the grill to peer down into the engine. Nothing looked out of order; could this be sabotage? Bella reached for something in her purse. The muffled sound of her bracelet clanking against metal startled me; she was going for her service arm. I had just an instant to look over the hood and assess Seth still sitting in the backseat, before I grabbed Bella by the shoulder. Her arm was pinned against her side, with her hand trapped inside her purse. I leaned into the hollow of her neck and whispered, "NEWBORN." Bella froze. I ignored her reaction, dragged her back to the car door, and shoved her in the backseat. "Stay here. Let me go figure out what's wrong and I'll come back and tell you." My heart was pounding. It was irrational, but my hand felt as if it was burning from where I touched her soft skin. My lungs were still filled with the scent of perfume from her neck. _

_I shook off the excitement of her and went back to the engine. It was either the spark plugs or the battery. After a moment of fruitless deliberation, I shut the hood and climbed back into the driver's seat. _

"_Well?" she asked me softly. _

"_It's either the battery or the spark plugs. I'll open the trunk; maybe there's a tool kit or some emergency supplies back there." _

_I was back inside the car in ten seconds. "The trunk's empty." Out of curiosity, I opened the glove box. Five or six boxes of spark plugs tumbled onto the floor. "Shit," I grumbled, "they could have told me not to cut the engine!" _

"_What is it?" she asked. _

_I let out a deep sigh. "The glove box is filled with spark plugs which means this hunk of scrap metal has a history of this kind of problem. I need to find a wrench to loosen the old ones. Look under your seats; see if you find something. _

_Sure enough, Seth popped his head up with one in his hand. "Will this work?" _

"_Yup." I nodded. "I don't want to fix the car here. It's too conspicuous. I don't want anyone coming around to ask questions. I'm going to walk down the street to see if any of the buildings are abandoned. If something's available close by, I'll push the car into it so I can fix it out of the way."_

_I got out and strolled down the block. There was a wide driveway at the end of the next block. I looked through the windows and decided it was empty. It looked like a delivery entrance for one of the empty stores. I shoved back the sliding frame door to be sure. No sounds came from inside the building. It looked like what we needed. I checked around once more and then sprinted back to the car. _

"_All right, Seth, you're going to steer while I push. You saw the building I went into, right?" He nodded. "Once we get the car inside, you'll stand on the sidewalk where I can still see you and wait for Bella. Bella, I can't push the car with both you and Seth inside. Take five minutes, go up the street and buy something, anything, to bring back to your mum."_

"_I'm not leaving," she said flatly. _

"_You can't wait here either. You have a better shot of diverting attention away from us if you're in a store than if you're standing on the street." Bella couldn't beat my logic. She huffed and got out of the car._

"_Five minutes, that's all I need. Be back by then or we're ditching the car and coming after you." She nodded and turned to head back to Main Street. "Seth, get up here." I showed him how to put the car in drive and loosen the clutch. I pushed the car, and we made our way slowly down the street and into the makeshift garage. Seth got out and we pulled the sliding frame door back into place. "Wait here and watch for her. Stay by the window, so that I can see you. She should be back in two minutes."_

_I pulled the door back into place and disappeared inside the building. There would be just enough light from the windows to see the engine compartment. I grabbed a couple of boxes of spark plugs and the wrench from the front seat and walked around to lift the hood. I looked over my shoulder to make sure I could see Seth. He was still standing there peering up the street. I managed to loosen all eight of the old plugs. I began to dump the new plugs out of the boxes when I realized that Bella should have made it back by now. Seth was still standing there. My heart began to accelerate. I lowered the hood and put the boxes of plugs and the wrench on the front seat. _

_I edged out the door and looked at Seth. "No sign of her?" _

"_Not yet." _

"_All right, let's go," I sighed. _

_It was a bad idea to leave the car, but I didn't have a choice. We were probably nearing ten minutes instead of five. I grabbed Seth under the arm and dragged him up the street. We were a half a block from Main when Bella rounded the corner with an apologetic look on her face. I sighed and dropped my shoulders forward in relief. _

"_Something catch your eye and you couldn't decide on a color, love?" The sarcasm was dripping off my tongue. She just gritted her teeth. _

"_Let's just say it was a nosy local and leave it at that."_

_I didn't care; she was safe. We walked back down to the garage, and I held open the frame door to let Bella and then Seth enter the building._

_A second later, I heard her gasp. I darted in to find her twelve feet away from the door, trapped in the arms of a German soldier. He was filthy from head to toe and he looked half starved. It was obvious that he was an escaped POW. His arm was bandaged, leading me to believe that he'd fled from a detainee field hospital. _

_I held Seth back with my left arm. The soldier muttered something in German. _

_Bella looked at me. "He wants you to drop your gun." _

_The soldier flinched at the words she spoke and screamed at her in German again pulling at her shoulders. Bella answered in German, and he seemed to relax just a bit. _

"_Just do it," she said. _

_The soldier had a knife at her side. I bit back the fear pulsing through me. How was I going to get her out of this? _

"_Does he speak English?" _

_Bella translated and then answered, "No." _

_I pulled out my service arm and emptied the clip. The clip made a thud as I tossed onto the front seat of the Packard. Then I slid the pistol on the floor toward the soldier. I didn't push it far; purposefully making sure that it landed halfway between the soldier and me. _

_The soldier motioned for Seth to pick it up and bring it to him. Seth complied and picked up the gun with his left hand. His held his right hand tight against his side. His father had probably given him a knife in case he needed to defend himself. It was more likely to get him killed. _

_No, NO! I screamed inside my head. I didn't have much time to react before Seth did something stupid. The soldier took his eyes off of me for a second to motion to Seth to stand beside him. The soldier's knife flittered in the light as he showed Seth where he wanted him to stand. I took my chance and leapt over Seth knocking him to the side. I pummeled into the soldier who never let go of Bella. The three of us crashed to the concrete. The soldier's knife flew out of his hand, and I reached up to strangle him while we were both down. He was faster. He swiped up Seth's knife from the floor and shoved me to my back with all of his might. I was just able to catch his hands as he struggled to shove the knife into my chest. Bella was moving behind him. I needed to keep his attention on me and away from her. I struggled to inch his hands farther up and away from my heart. I knew I had a better shot at surviving a shoulder wound. Bella was getting closer; if he turned, he could strike her. I needed a distraction so that he couldn't hurt her. I loosened my grip on his hands and let the knife slide like butter into my muscle. He was so full of blood lust that he didn't see her coming as she swung. Bella hit him in the side of the head with the wrench from the Packard. He slumped to the side and didn't move again. _

I was suddenly lost in the piece of the story that I didn't share with Jasper. I remembered how something inside me had snapped.

_I was losing it from the pain. I started screaming, "Riley, No. RILEY, RILEY, I'm sorry." Bella rushed over to me and held down the wound in my shoulder. Blood spattered. She screamed to Seth to get her sweater from the back seat of the car. _

_"Edward, it's Bella. Edward, you're okay. You're safe. I'm safe. Seth is safe." _

_She knew I was flashing back to something. I guess she thought it was a combat memory. She pushed her sweater into my chest trying to get the blood to stop. She made a tourniquet and some makeshift bandages from the lining of her dress. _

I looked up from the bottle of milk to find Jasper watching me intently through the rear view mirror of the Colonel's car. I guess I had paused for a long time. I continued on with the story from there.

_Bella and Seth fixed the spark plugs and got the car started. They laid me in the backseat and Bella drove us the rest of the way to Hanslope Park. They bandaged me up as best they could, but we needed to stay the night. It was getting too dark to risk driving back. Bella sent a message in Morse Code to Colonel Swan._

*** Package is secure. Newborn is safe. ***

*** Will return to base at 0900 ***

_It was a rough night. They didn't have any morphine. Bella stayed with me. The best she could offer me was a cold compress filled with ice. She wiped the sweat from my face and put compresses on my chest to try to numb some of the pain. I tried not to think about it. The agony was easier just because she was there. In the morning, we drove the dummy Packard back to ETOUSA_."

Again I stared out the window of the car, watching the scenery rush by. My thoughts were still with Bella and the memory of the pain that night.

_She wanted to distract me somehow. She was thinking something but wouldn't say what was on her mind. Her arms just kept wiping the damp cloth over my cheeks and down my neck. _

"_What are you thinking?" I asked. She grimaced, not wanting to speak. "Really, I want to know." I wished I could read her mind. _

_She hesitated; "I was wondering…" She paused again. I think she didn't want to cause me any more pain. When she raised her eye,s she looked at me with worry. "Who is Riley?" _

_I took a deep breath, remembering how I had been screaming Riley's name. _

"_Riley was my younger brother. He died shortly before I left for the war. We were in a store that was being robbed. I tried to stop the robber, but his gun fired; Riley was shot. He died right there in my arms that day. When Seth was going at the soldier this afternoon, I could tell it was going to end badly. I guess it was too close to my memories of Riley. I'm sorry that I frightened you."_

_Her face was angelic. "Don't apologize. You saved me and Seth too." _

_Her voice was as light as a whisper. For some reason, she seemed to be awestruck._

"_You saved me too remember?" I smiled back at her and her face brightened. _

"_I'm so sorry I can't do more for you right now." _

_Her face looked remorseful again. I delicately picked up her hand and placed it over my heart. I laid my hand on top of hers and took a deep breath. _

"_Just being here is doing wonders for me." _

_My words were truer than even I had realized. Placing her hand over my heart seemed to heal part of the ache that had been there for over a year now. I rubbed up and down the length of her arm as it lay against my chest. I hadn't felt any kind of peace since Riley died. Somehow it was blissful despite the pain from my wound. I looked into her deep, warm, chocolate eyes until the exhaustion overcame me, and I finally succumbed to sleep. _

**

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**

**********The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 3 - ETOUSA

**Story reference: **Edward reads the telegrams from Dr. Cullen at the 8th Convalescent Hospital

**Historical Significance: **The 8th Convalescent Hospital was actually used for physical therapy during WWII.

**Source: **http:/home(dot)att(dot)net/~steinert/a_list_of_wwii_hospitals(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Edward reads the telegrams from Dr. Cullen at the 8th Convalescent Hospital

**Historical Significance: **Telegraphs were used most notably in WWII to let family members know when a soldier was injured or had died in the war. Most were sent by Western Union.

Photograph of a Naval Telegraph:

**Source: **http:/www(dot)westernfrontmilitaria(dot)co(dot)uk/images/telly1,1(dot)JPG

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**Story reference: **Edward and Bella meet Seth Winterbotham who is acting as Bella's younger brother.

**Historical Significance: **Frederic Winterbotham was the group captain who organized and supervised project Ultra on behalf of MI6.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/F(dot)_W(dot)_Winterbotham

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**Story reference: **Colonel Swan directs Edward to drive a Packard for the intelligence drop.

**Historical Significance: **The SCU's were highly mobile and the first such units used civilian Packard cars.

**Source: **Radio and Cryptology: http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Ultra

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**Story reference: **Bella is trapped by an escaped German POW from a detainee field hospital

**Historical Significance: **Detainees were kept in secured sections of military hospitals.

**Source: **can't find the link I used on this one, still searching

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******A/N:** Jasper is a really great guy in this story. We'll see more of him soon. I hope you've enjoyed chapter four, let me know what you think so far. Thanks for reading, First Blush

PS. In case you were wondering,'Shelly' from chapter three was Shelly Cope. Congrats to the talented Just4ALE for figuring it out. Please check out ALE's new fic, Tunes with Tony Masen. By chapter four you too will fall in love with her velvet voiced hero.


	5. Chapter 5 Sterile

_**A/N: I now have the TLB banner posted out to Live Journal. The link is on my profile page.**_

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

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Sterile

Jasper threw the staff car into park and tore out and around the car. We were here. I looked at my watch; it was just before one. We made it in less than two hours. I smiled to myself at the rate of Jasper's driving. He yanked my door open and helped me swing my legs over and down to the ground. I grabbed my cane and stood up.

The stark white building of the 8th Convalescent Hospital stood before me. I took a deep breath and hobbled toward the entrance. Jasper closed the car door behind me and trotted back to my side. I was grateful for his help up the steps and into the lobby.

"Thank you, Jasper."

"My pleasure, Corporal".

Jasper snapped to salute me. I saluted him in response and then offered my hand to shake his.

"I'm sure Colonel Swan will be calling on you soon. Good luck and stay safe."

I smiled knowing he'd be part of Colonel Swan's inner circle soon. He gave me a grin and nodded in return. He quickly and confidently turned and left.

I took another deep breath. _Alright, baby, I'm here. Where are you? _With that, I walked up to the receptionist's desk.

"I'm Corporal Edward Masen. I'm here to find my wife, Isabella."

"Corporal Masen, we've been expecting you. Colonel Swan called us to let us know you were on your way. We were so happy to hear you're alive and safe. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to Dr. Cullen's office."

At first I sighed in immense relief that she was still alive, but I quickly realized that I'd had enough of what other people wanted. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to see Bella, now.

"I don't think you understand. I'm not here to see Dr. Cullen. I'm here for Bella. _Now_."

The nurse swallowed hard.

"I understand perfectly what you're asking, but your wife is in a sterile unit. You need to see Dr. Cullen first."

"Look, miss, it's been ten months since I've seen her. I've read Dr. Cullen's reports. I know how bad off she is." I took a labored breath. "Either you show me where she is or I'm going to tear this place apart until I find her myself."

I was leaning over the receptionist's desk, staring her down, when I felt a hand settle on top of my left shoulder. The receptionist's eyes picked up, tracing the hand back to its owner, and then she sighed in relief. I turned to find a man in his mid fifties wearing a white lab coat. He had silver blond hair and shocking blue eyes. He looked…_hopeful_.

"Corporal Masen, I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I've been caring for Mrs. Masen since she arrived here in August. If you'll follow me, I'll help you see her."

I nodded in defeat but shook his hand.

"I'm glad to meet you, Dr. Cullen. I'm sure you can understand my anxiousness to see Bella. Colonel Swan gave me your telegrams…."

I wanted to go on but couldn't get the words out. I swallowed hard. My heart was beating like a drum in my chest. I couldn't say it, but I still knew. She was…_dying_.

"Yes, well then, you know my concerns. But first things first," Dr. Cullen answered.

We walked down the hall and into his office. I sighed, knowing that there was no way around speaking with him before I got to see Bella. There was a nurse waiting for us in his office.

"Corporal Masen, this is Nurse Esme Platt. She has been assisting me in your wife's care. I know that you are anxious to see her, but she's sedated. She is not in any pain right now, and she will be unconscious for another hour at least."

This didn't make me feel any better. How could I begin to explain that the hole ripping in my chest wouldn't be any better until I saw her? That it didn't matter whether she was awake or not, I needed to see her and touch her just to be able to breathe again.

I tried to explain it anyway. "It doesn't matter if she's awake or not. I just _need_ to see her."

My voice cracked, and I looked down at my hands.

Dr. Cullen stood up from his chair. Nurse Platt did as well. He eyed me as if he was assessing me physically.

"All right, let's get him cleaned up as best we can and in to see her."

Nurse Platt balked at the idea. Her eyes widened, and she shook her head in frustration.

"He's not sterile."

But Bella's doctor took over the conversation.

"I'll get him some clean clothes. Take him into the scrub room and take care of any part of him that will touch her. We can do the rest later. Right now she needs to see him as much as he needs to see her. If anything will help her fight right now, he will."

The nurse didn't argue further. She grabbed me by the arm and led me down the hall, onto an elevator and up to the third floor. She pushed open a swinging door. There were six porcelain sinks in the center of the room. Off to the left was a row of chairs. At the far end of the room, there was a rack full of pressed white uniforms and scrubs. There was a second exit door across from the clothes. I noticed a clock above the door on the wall. The ticking was so loud that I winced at the sound of it. Nurse Platt eyed me from the edge of the sinks where she was standing about five feet away.

"Take everything off. And I mean everything, including your dog tags."

I complied, dropping everything in a pile on the floor, but paused when I got to my wedding band. She looked at me, stark naked as I twisted my ring back and forth between my fingers.

She sighed. "Leave it, we'll scrub that too."

I up from my ring to acknowledge her thoughtfulness with a pressed smile. My back was to the sinks. As I moved to turn, she caught sight of the bandages on my right side.

She groaned.

"Good Lord, are you even able to stand upright?"

I looked down at the bandages that Angela had set last night. They appeared to be oozing a bit from under the gauze, but before I could answer her, Dr. Cullen appeared with a fresh uniform in a sack under his arm. He caught Nurse Platt's stare and gave me a worried glance.

"It's fine," I said. "The sutures are still closing, but it's clean."

Nurse Platt sighed in aggravation.

"This is reckless," she said. "She's already weak. Why take more chances? It will only take another hour or so to do this right."

Dr. Cullen came over to examine my wound. He gently peeled back the bandage. I winced from where my skin stretched to give way to the tape. He tented his fingers under his chin for a moment and then looked at his nurse.

"Go get some gauze, antiseptic and a compression bandage," he directed her.

Nurse Platt shot me an exasperated look and then left the room. Dr. Cullen pulled me over to the sink.

"Wash your hands and your arms in hot water, as hot as you can stand it, and then put the shorts on.

I ambled over to the sink and threw on the hot water. I grabbed the new bar of soap that Dr. Cullen held out for me. He pinched the wrapper between his fingers and thumb making sure he didn't touch it. He took off his white coat and stood at the sink that was next to mine. He rolled up his sleeves and pulled a scrub brush and another bar of soap from the cabinet above his head.

"Watch me," he said. "You'll scrub your arms and hands again like this once you're dressed."

Dr. Cullen began to scrub each finger, under each nail front and back and up and down his arms through to his elbow.

"You have to give Esme a little slack," he said. "You see, we've all become quite fond of Bel-, Mrs. Masen." He corrected himself, and then shook his head. "She just doesn't want to take any unnecessary risks. Mrs. Masen is in a sterile ward and we do our best to keep anything away from her that would bring on another infection. Her immune system is already too weak."

My breath stopped in my chest and I stared up at the ceiling. I squinted and then finally closed my eyes before I spoke.

"So why are you giving in if this is an unnecessary risk?" I asked.

I didn't want to change his mind about seeing her now, but I didn't want to make her any worse either.

Dr. Cullen sighed.

"She already has an infection raging through her now. Frankly, I don't think you can make it any worse. We're taking precautions to scrub any part of you that will touch her, but right now, she needs to _see_ you when she wakes up. She needs something to give her a reason to fight harder. Although, I'm not sure how that's possible. Your wife is one of the most determined patients I've ever met. She's used an incredible reserve of strength so far. I don't know how much is left in her."

My head drooped remembering the source of her strength. The weight of the words on the back of her photograph pinned me in place. She was doing everything she could to keep her vow to me.

Dr. Cullen turned off the water and grabbed a clean towel from a rack on the far wall. He wiped his hands and threw it into an open bin before motioning me over to one of the empty chairs. He ripped open the paper sack of clothes and handed me a clean set of shorts. I pulled them on and sat gingerly on the chair. He reached for the pair of socks and pulled them on for me. I wouldn't have been able to reach down that far on my own. He grabbed the trousers and pulled them up to my knees and looped the belt around the waist. Finally, he slid a pair of shoes onto my feet. Everything was a bit big but manageable. Nurse Platt reappeared through the door, carrying the supplies. Dr. Cullen was still crouched down tying my shoes. He noticed Nurse Platt's entrance and pulled at the back of my knees to edge me forward on the seat.

He removed the tape from my side and examined my wound more closely while Nurse Platt filled some cotton with antiseptic. I winced from the sting when he rubbed it over my side. Once I was re-taped, he pulled a strong elastic bandage around my entire waist. Nurse Platt handed me an undershirt and a khaki army button down while Dr. Cullen went back to the sinks to scrub himself all over again.

Once I was fully dressed, Nurse Platt rolled up my sleeves for me and led me back to the sinks.

Dr. Cullen gave me the instructions.

"Start with your face your neck and your ears. Again, make the water as hot as you can take it.

I turned on the scalding hot water.

"Now get the scrub brush. Go over each finger, front and back, under the nails and up through your elbow. You'll need to repeat this three times."

While I worked, he explained.

"I'm not going to make you wear a gown or a mask like we will. I want her to _see_ you. When she wakes up, she will be in a lot of pain. You'll need to prepare yourself to hear her screams. If she is not aware of you being there, we will give her a full dose of morphine, then we'll change her dressings. We change them on Mondays and Thursdays. If she's coherent and she recognizes you, she'll still need some morphine to be able to catch her breath. Tell her that we're giving her a half dose so that she can breathe. It will be closer to sixty percent than half. Corporal Masen, she _will _need the morphine."

"Edward," I said. "Call me Edward."

Better to be on a first name basis with the man who was going to save her life.

"All right, Edward then. You can touch her but try not to jostle her. Besides being weak, the graphs on her legs are loosely adhered to the healing skin. It won't take much to disturb them and then we'd need to start the graph process all over again. You'll understand when we change the dressings.

I pulled my hands up from the sink and grabbed a towel. After drying off, I rolled down my sleeves. Dr. Cullen and Nurse Platt were helping one another pull on gowns and masks.

"Don't touch anything until we get into her room."

Dr. Cullen held up his hands and backed out of the room. I searched around with my eyes for my cane, but Nurse Platt caught me under the arm.

"I'll help you. I can't give you your cane right now."

We made our way down the hallway and turned right at the end of the corridor. There was a small window above the first door on the right. I looked through it and a small unconscious sound escaped from my chest. I swallowed hard at the vision of her. I felt the same magnificent rush over my heart that I had on that first night in Hanslope Park. It was the same release I'd felt when I pulled her hand over my heart and she healed the agonizing memories of Riley. I quickly wiped away a tear as it escaped and rolled down my cheek.

"Are you ready?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Yes." I nodded.

He backed in through the door. Nurse Platt and I followed. An orderly was already at her bedside, checking her pulse and writing numbers on a chart. When he saw us, he handed the chart to Dr. Cullen and turned to grab a tall chair from the far end of the room. He placed it next to Bella's bed and motioned to me to sit. I walked around the foot of her bed. There was a tent of some sort that propped the covers up off of her legs. Nurse Platt was checking the glass IV bottle that hung above her head and the tube that led into her arm. I sat down gingerly on the chair beside her bed. The brown waves of her hair draped behind her shoulders. She was matted in sweat and I wrinkled my nose at an unfamiliar smell.

"It's the infection," Dr. Cullen offered.

My breaths came hard as I stared with longing at my beautiful Bella. I wanted to touch her so badly, to stroke her arm, her hand, her face but was afraid to hurt her.

"How long until she comes around?" I half choked needing to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

"Ten minutes, maybe twenty," he replied. "That's about how long she has until the last dose of morphine wears off. But with the infection I don't really know for sure."

Nurse Platt picked up two syringes and a vile of what I guessed to be morphine. She filled the first one and pulled a smaller amount into the second one then set them both on a table beside Bella's bed. Dr. Cullen listened to her heart and felt her forehead. He reviewed her chart and pinched his eyebrows while staring at the writing.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Edward, I will always tell you the truth. As her physician, I'm telling you that she is weak and the infection is progressing despite the sulfonamide we've given her. It's been nearly two weeks; if we can't stop its progress, she will succumb to it."

He paused for an instant and sighed determinedly.

"As a man, I know that there are things that I can't do, that only God can do. Somehow you're here. You're able to see her and hold her hand. That has God's touch to it. It's more than I could ever do with a scalpel. We're all still hopeful, Edward."

I turned back to the beautiful face of the woman I loved. After a moment, I closed my eyes and dropped my head. Dr. Cullen put his hand on my shoulder.

"You can touch her," he said softly.

I gently picked up her right hand and rubbed my thumb over her soft skin. The undeniable pull to touch more of her took over. I leaned forward and rubbed the back of her hand against my cheek. I kissed it so softly, over and over and over….I felt lost in a swell of emotions at the sight of her. The last ten months without her had been agony. Yet here she was, beneath my grasp, fighting to survive for me.

My heart was full of joy; I had found her and I was able to touch her once more. Yet seeing her like _this_ was a double-edged sword. The fear of losing her forever pierced my heart. I watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest, counting each breath and willing her to come back to me.

A whispered prayer of adoration fell from my lips. "I love you, Bella."

Her breath hitched, and suddenly, her hand lurched forward and tightened around mine. She sat straight up in bed. Her eyes were still shut and she took in a deep, agonizing gasp.

"AAAggghhhh."

I grabbed her hand tighter and unthinkingly put my arm around the back of her shoulders. I was already sitting up on top of her bed. I pulled her hand close to my chest and pulled her body against mine. Our hearts were connected by our intertwined hands.

A second painful cry spilled from her mouth. "Aaagghh,"

She couldn't quite speak yet, but she squeezed my hand. Her free arm flew around my back and she pressed her head into my chest. I reached up, grabbed the back of her head, and brushed my hand through her hair and along her back over and over again. I told her how much I loved her, and I felt her weep softly against my chest. Bella's shoulders began to shake.

"You're here. My God, Edward, you're really here."

Bella was cradled against my chest with her head tucked under my chin. I nodded in answer to her cry. The gentle motion rubbed my chin over top of her brown waves.

"I'm here baby." I sobbed as I held her just a little tighter. "I'm right here."

After a few more moments to ourselves, Bella's head suddenly snapped to her left beneath my hand.

"No," she said flatly.

I pulled back just a little to see her deep chocolate eyes. She seemed exhausted though she had only just awoken. She looked ragged and gaunt, but she was in there, still more beautiful than I could ever describe. She eyed Nurse Platt, who was approaching us with a syringe.

I took her face in my hands.

"Half," I said. "They're going to give you half."

I nodded at her, pleading with my eyes for her to not fight this. She swallowed hard. The pain was catching up to her now; I could see the color draining from her face. She nodded slowly and never took her eyes off of mine. Nurse Platt took her arm and injected the smaller syringe of morphine into her IV.

She relaxed just a little and her eyes softened, a little distant and off focus.

"That was a little more than half," she grimaced.

I chuckled, unable to stop myself.

"I can never put anything over on you, but God, I do love you," I whispered into her hair.

I tried to release her so she could lie back down on the bed, but she wouldn't let go.

"I can't," she said.

I tried to move my head around from her shoulder to see her face. I couldn't believe she was telling me she was giving up. Not now.

"I can't let go of you. Don't put me down. _Please_."

I hugged her more fiercely into my chest.

"Never." I sighed as I kissed her cheek and neck.

Her body relaxed into my arms and I could feel more of her warm tears begin to fall.

"Bella," Dr. Cullen called, pulling us from the privacy of our reunion. "Do you know what day it is today?"

"Thursday," she sighed.

I knew she was realizing that they would need to change her dressings today.

"Please? I can take it," she offered.

"No," Dr. Cullen replied.

I turned my head to him, confused about their exchange.

"She doesn't want to be put under to change her dressings. She wants to stay awake with you."

Dr. Cullen eyed me hard to communicate that this was not an option for her.

"I won't leave you." I grinned. "Not even Colonel Swan's wrath could drag me away."

She smirked just a bit and then shuddered from the pain. I looked up at Dr. Cullen pleadingly.

"Bella, Edward needs to eat something, and we need to change your dressings. He'll be right here when you wake up. I promise."

She really looked at me then, probably realizing the weight of the last ten months on my face. She looked at Nurse Platt and said something with her eyes. Then she placed her head against my chest and hugged me fiercely with her right arm. She inched her head up toward my neck and paused for a second to catch her breath. Her weak body seemed to shudder and then relax again. She kissed my neck softly and whispered, never letting her lips move off of my skin.

"I will survive…for you."

Then her body went limp in my arms. I pulled her back franticly. Her eyes rolled back into her head.

"BELLA!" I screamed.

Nurse Platt put her hand on my shoulder to show me the empty syringe in her hand.

**

* * *

**

**The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: **5

**Title:** Sterile

**Story reference: **Dr. Cullen describes giving Bella sulfonamide to fight her infection.

**Historical Significance: **Before the prolific use of penicillin, Sulfa drugs help the body combat infection by inhibiting the growth and multiplication of bacteria.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)med-dept(dot)com/sulfa(dot)php

* * *

******A/N:** So he found her! After living through ten months of separation, surviving war and being told his one and only love was dead, he finally finds her. Edward is strengthened by the sight of Bella yet is terrified by her sickness. So how will he help her _now_?

I hope you've enjoyed chapter five, let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading,

First Blush


	6. Chapter 6 Brittle Battle

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

Brittle Battle

Dr. Cullen lifted me off the bed and placed my shaking body back on the chair beside Bella's bed. The orderly and Nurse Platt began making preparations in Bella's room.

"They're going to start the process to change her dressings," he said. "It takes a while to get set up."

The orderly began unrolling long bandages across a table at the foot of her bed. He cut them into lengths and began smearing a clear, jelly-like substance on the first long strip.

"Bella will be out for hours. We are going to sterilize you properly and get you something to eat."

"I'm not leaving her."

"Edward, you did your job, now let me do mine. I can't have her open wounds exposed to you without you being properly sterilized. Who knows what you could have picked up at that field hospital in London?"

I reluctantly agreed, I softly kissed her hand and each of her fingers before I stood. Gently, I laid her hand back down on the bed. My fingers trailed across her skin brushing it softly. Finally I turned to face Dr. Cullen.

We left her room and walked down a hallway. He led me to a room containing a tub filled with water. Another nurse was dumping packets of white powder into the tub.

"Edward, this is a lye bath. It will be fairly concentrated and it will burn. The worst pain will be near your sutures. Get undressed. We'll redress your wound when you get out." He handed me a flattened rubber block. "When you step in, immediately go down and all the way under the water. Shut your eyes, wait ten seconds, and then come back up. You can bite down on this for the pain. We'll get you out when you resurface."

I put the block between my teeth, wondering how bad it could possibly hurt. As I stepped in, I felt the concentrated burn against my feet and shins. I took a deep breath, dropped down and pulled my head beneath the water. My side felt like it was being gouged with a knife. One…two… Was I really only at two? I could hear my own scream inside my head. Then, behind my eyes, I began to see the image of Bella's white face and clenched teeth. I knew I couldn't risk causing her any more pain. She needed me. I could bear this for her. Anything for her…nine...ten. I broke through the surface of the water and spit the block across the room. I flew up out of the water and over the side. Somehow, the muscles in my legs that had not wanted to work before had finally found the right connections. I was out of the water, but the lye was still burning my side. Before I could form another coherent thought, I felt two buckets of water being doused over my head. The water washed away the fierce burning, but the skin that was left behind was raw. They patted me lightly with towels, but it felt like I was being scraped with sandpaper. I sat on a chair while they rubbed a clear cream over my exposed skin.

"This is Aloe Vera," Dr. Cullen said. "It is the same extract we use on Bella's dressings."

He paused, shaking his head at his slip.

"Mrs. Masen," he said, correcting himself.

"She always wants to be called Bella." I smiled. "Please don't stop on my account."

He nodded and continued rubbing the clear jelly over my exposed skin.

"We add an analgesic to it to ease the burning sensation. It will begin to feel better soon."

"Help me understand," I asked. "What does this feel like compared to her burns?"

"A fraction at most." He grimaced. "We would have to peel your skin back and expose your nerves. She has a thin layer of grafts, but it doesn't offer her much protection. The nerves are very raw, and the pain is truly ghastly."

I closed my eyes and shuddered.

Dr. Cullen re-dressed my wound and helped me into a new set of clothes. The nurse handed me my cane. It had been polished and sterilized. We walked back to the elevator and went down to Dr. Cullen's office. He had a light meal set on a table next to his desk.

"I'm not hungry. I want to go back to her."

"I know you do, but this is going to be a battle. You'll need your own strength to have enough to give to her."

A muddled sigh escaped me as I sat. I ate the food on the plate in front of me, not noticing or caring what it was or how it tasted. The only conscious thoughts running through my mind were my musings over what I could do to comfort Bella.

Dr. Cullen spoke, breaking me from my thoughts. "I guess you want to know how we're going to cure her infection."

"Actually, I was thinking about how I could begin to comfort her when she wakes up. But yeah, I want to know that too."

"Seeing you has brought more comfort to her than I've seen in two months." Dr. Cullen looked away. He seemed to be struggling with how to adequately, but compassionately, describe Bella's condition.

"Edward, nothing I've tried seems to really do much for her. I said I would always tell you the truth. The truth is I'm running out of options. She got the infection through her IV or maybe a syringe. It's something strong that developed despite all of our precautions to keep the room sterile. I've been doing research with my colleagues in London, but we haven't found anything yet that can eradicate it."

"Maybe you need new colleagues," I grumbled.

He pondered for a second. "Actually, maybe I do."

His eyes brightened just a bit, but he was cautious with them. He likely didn't want to get my hopes up too much. I didn't want to admit that hope was probably our best ally; apparently we didn't have much else left.

Nurse Platt sat me on a chair in the far left corner of Bella's room behind a half screen.

"This is for you if you get sick." She handed me a bed pan. "DON'T – GET – SICK."

There was a screen blocking Bella from the waist down. I imagined this was to shield her from seeing her legs if she were to wake up. Everyone was in full masks and gowns, including me this time. Dr. Cullen began unwrapping Bella's bandaged legs. The white gauze circled her lower legs from her knees to her toes. The first layers were perfectly white, but as he got down to the underlying layers, I could see the blood soaked film as he peeled them off. Even despite the warnings and descriptions from Dr. Cullen, I was not ready to see her like this.

He had told me that the graphs were taken from her thighs and sutured into place along her shins, calves and feet. He described it as a quilt of skin, stitched into place, piece by piece. I shuddered violently when he reached the final layer. Her skin was blood red and was pulled tight. The stitches were at odd angles like she'd been sewn together by a mad scientist. Her muscle had completely atrophied.

I didn't make a sound; the tears just streamed down my cheeks. _My beautiful wife, my beautiful Bella, how could I have let this happen to her?_

Nurse Platt looked up and nudged the orderly beside her on the arm. He stood in to take her place and handed Dr. Cullen a bottle of water that he drizzled over the grafts to flush out dried blood and debris. Nurse Platt crossed behind him and walked over to sit with me behind the screen. She put her hand on my back and slowly and deeply rubbed between my shoulder blades. The tension unwound from within me. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. My shoulders collapsed, and I felt very weak. I was not the man that I wanted to be and needed to be for her.

"Edward, this is actually very good," she said.

I looked at her, completely perplexed at how the sight of Bella's badly burned body could be "good" in any way.

"The grafts show no sign of infection. They're adhering well. If they were blistering or peeling we'd need to remove them and start over. The donor sites also look good. She'll never look the way she used to, but the burns are healing. Believe me, this is a lot better than she looked a few months ago. She was a mess when she got here. We didn't think she would last a week. They hadn't even completed the debridement of the burns."

I placed my elbows on my thighs and buried my head in my hands.

"How did she ever carry a child like this?"

"Sheer will, I imagine. The records they sent us were very incomplete. They didn't tell us the size or number of doses of morphine. Edward, she would have needed so much medicine to kill the pain that I imagine it was better that the baby didn't survive."

I swallowed hard.

"Does she ever talk about it?"

"Sometimes she murmurs when she's coming off the morphine. She's incoherent for the most part."

"I want to know," I said with my head down.

Nurse Platt paused for a moment, then very softly she uttered, "She says she can hear the cries."

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth together. When I finally opened them, I found Dr. Cullen finishing up the final layers of gauze. They removed the screen over Bella and put the tent back in place to keep the covers off of her legs.

"When she comes to, we'll give her a bath and change the sheets. She'll like you being there to help much better than Mike."

She smiled and looked up at the orderly across the room. Her voice had carried loud enough for him to hear her.

"I'll need to be there to wash her hair and her back, but I'll let you take over from there. Just be sure to be very gentle and try not to jostle her. Keep anything you're not immediately washing covered up so she stays warm."

"When will she wake up again?" I asked.

Nurse Platt looked up at the clock across the room and counted in her head. "About twenty minutes, I think."

With that, she hopped up, realizing that there were some things she needed to do before Bella woke up. They cleaned the room, removed all of the old dressings and placed all of the supplies back in a cabinet in the corner across from me. They took down the half screen in front of me and put it off to the side.

Nurse Platt went over to take Bella's vitals, including her temperature, her pulse, and her blood pressure. She listened to her chest. When she was done writing everything down on her chart, she motioned for me to come over and sit by Bella's bed.

"Let me take your gown and your mask for you."

"Is it safe? You leave yours on all the time."

"It's a precaution, but I'm in and out of the room all of the time. I imagine you'll be by her side more than I am.

"You couldn't drag me away."

I watched the clock, but Bella didn't wake up right away. She lingered in a dreamless sleep. My mind drifted back to London, remembering her sleeping soundly on a night very different than this one.

_I snuck across the courtyard to the women's barracks. It was a cold night in early fall. I was being completely stupid. Who goes sneaking around in the dark in a time of war? Idiots like me who are trying to get themselves shot. It didn't matter. I had to see her. _

I'm not sneaking off to see some girl_, I told myself. _She's my wife._ Somehow knowing this simple fact allowed me to justify my ludicrous actions. I smiled at the thought of the new words in my head, my wife. No one but Bella and I knew. It was our secret, something to smile about during these awful, dreary days of war. _

_I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cold, night air. The pull to have some alone, private time with her was intoxicating. I had discovered her roommate was going out of town for the weekend on furlough. Bella hadn't told me she had her barracks to herself. Probably because she didn't want me to do anything stupid, say, like sneaking off to find her in the middle of the night, getting caught, perhaps court-martialed or worse - shot. _

_I sighed to myself and turned the handle. It was unlocked. _It's unlocked, yes! No wait, it's unlocked? Why doesn't she lock her door? We're at war for crying out loud. Why doesn't she just invite the enemy in for tea?Argh!_ She was going to hear it. We were definitely going to fix that. _Yes, we'll do that right after I rip her clothes off and have my way with her._ I shook my head again and pushed gently on the door. _

_Seconds later, I was standing in her bedroom doorway. The moonlight was shining in the window and highlighted her beautiful face. I stared at the shadows cast by her long eyelashes. Her hair was draped across her pillow. I was staggered by her beauty, but even more so by the fact that she was mine. I almost didn't want to wake her. I knew I could gaze at her face for an hour and be happy just to be near her. I sighed again, knowing it wouldn't be long before my less honorable side won out. I quietly walked around the foot of her bed to the side facing the window. I leaned over and gently kissed her lips. Bella sat up so quickly, throwing her hands into my chest, that she knocked me off balance. We both tumbled to the floor. She had her hand at my throat, and I had my hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming. _

"_It's me!" I said. "You remember, love, honor and obey…that guy," I crooned. _

_I took my hand off her mouth and pulled her down to me. I kissed her, feverously running my fingers through her hair and down her back. I could tell she was glad to see me too. I paused for a second, and my lips broke into a smile. _

"_What are you doing here, you idiot?" she asked breathlessly. _

_We had stopped kissing just long enough to allow her to come up for air. My lips resumed pursuit of her. I made my way along her chin and then paused at her ear. _

"_I'll have you know, I'm not the only soldier stupid enough to try something like this. I am, however, the only one lucky enough to be sneaking off to do this with his wife." _

_I pulled back to see her face and raised my eyebrows twice with a devilish grin. She grabbed me by the shirt collar and knelt over top of me while piercing me with her eyes. I felt her back lengthen and tense until she was as straight as a board. _

"_I could have cut off your windpipe and killed you. I've been trained, you know."_

"_Yeah, I know. I was just hoping you'd feel lustful enough to spare me a kiss before you finished me off." _

_She groaned. "Don't do that again. I don't think my heart can take it." _

"_Your heart is very strong. I can hear it." _

_I pulled my ear up to her chest and listened to her heart throb with anticipation. _

"_I don't think you understand. Well, aside from scaring me to death, I don't think my heart can take not having you here every night. A wife could get used to this you know." _

_Bella was beaming down at me. I pulled her back onto her bed. I climbed in and rolled over top of her, being careful to pay homage to every part of her. _

_"I'm sorry for scaring you; am I forgiven?" _

"_Yes," she said. "But just to set the record straight, I never said obey." _

"_Okay, I'll give you that; I'll do all of the obeying. I'm your slave tonight; have your way with me." _

"_You're awful," she said. _

"_No, I'm happy." _

I looked over at Bella's face. It was still as lovely as it had been that night. I was holding her hand and kissing her fingers, moving up toward her wrist. I felt her squeeze my hand again as she lurched to sit up. I scrambled to the top of her bed and pulled her tightly to me.

"I'm here, I'm here. It's okay. Take a breath."

I saw Nurse Platt out of the corner of my eye. She was ready with a smaller dose of morphine. Bella gritted her teeth together and let out a small gasp of air. I knew she was trying to minimize her reaction to the pain.

"I'm too quick for that you know."

She had to know that I wouldn't let her suffer if there was any way in my power to prevent it.

"Yeah," she said. "But I was hoping you'd feel lustful enough to spare me a kiss before you finished me off."

I nodded to Nurse Platt who took Bella's hand. I pulled her face in my hands and kissed her. Her body relaxed from the morphine; I broke off a second later and smiled.

"You know, I was just thinking about that night. Case in point, you leave your door unlocked and you never know who might wander in." I shrugged.

I pulled her back into my arms very gently.

"I hear I get to give you a bath," I whispered.

She chuckled. "It will be the first one I've ever looked forward to."

Right on cue, Nurse Platt stepped into the room followed by the orderly, Mike. They each held a large bowl of water. I laid Bella back down on the bed. She looked over at Nurse Platt.

"You're going to wash my hair?" she asked gleefully.

Nurse Platt nodded and grinned. I guess it had been some time since Bella had had that luxury. Nurse Platt showed me how to hold Bella while the nurse ran the water over her hair. Bella seemed to be in heaven.

"Clean hair and you here holding me too…" she sighed.

Once her hair was washed and dried, we sat her up again and began untying the strings at the back of her gown. She draped her body over mine while Nurse Platt ran the sponge softly over her shoulders and back. I lifted her slightly and as gently as possible so the nurse could clean her. Bella was very quiet and maybe a little embarrassed.

"Please don't be embarrassed," I whispered into her ear. "Holding you and feeling your arms around me is the best feeling I've had in the last nine months. You make me feel whole."

She smiled a little while Nurse Platt finished cleaning and drying her. She changed the sheets and helped Bella slip on a new gown. I looked over her brittle body and pressed my lips together in concern. She was so thin and frail.

"Well, I have to go finish rounds. Do you think you could take over for me?" Nurse Platt tried to keep her expression flat and her voice professional, but I knew she was giving us some time alone.

"Yeah, I can do this."

Nurse Platt nodded and moved the bowls of water closer to my side.

"Just call for someone down the hall if you need anything."

She looked into my eyes to remind me to be gentle and to keep her warm. Then she turned and left us to be alone.

I sat on the bed and stared into Bella's eyes. They were wide were wide and eager; I relaxed a bit, feeling grateful that she wasn't in any pain. I pulled the sheets up under her neck and kissed her softly on the forehead. The warm water from the sponge dripped through my fingers I wrung it out. I rolled back the sheet to expose only her left hand up to her elbow. Gently, I lifted her hand and rolled the sponge slowly and softly down each finger.

Bella smiled at me, but there was something behind her eyes. I didn't think I was hurting her. I grabbed a dry towel and began patting down the skin I had just washed.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

She sighed. "I knew you were alive. I could feel it. They all thought I was crazy or delusional from the morphine, but I could still feel you. I don't know how to describe it other than to say you didn't _feel_ dead to me. I was praying it wasn't wishful thinking." Bella paused to steady herself. "They said that you had died during an operation near Marigny."

I walked around the foot of her bed to begin washing her other arm. I never let go of her eyes. They were filled with pain and relief at the same time.

"There were four of us. One of the guys didn't make it." I swallowed hard. "I guess they thought he was me. It was so chaotic, and I wasn't really with it at the end. The infantry were rushing past us. I was shouting about the wounded. Everything was off focus, almost hazy, I couldn't really see straight. I hit the ground hard and then I felt a bunch of hands pulling at me or lifting me, I'm not really sure. The next thing I really remember was…"

I stopped myself. The next thing I really remembered was the pain at the field hospital. But what was my pain compared to what she was going through now?

"Was what?" she asked.

"Was waking up at the hospital, but I can't say I was really aware of anything until three days ago."

I paused to wipe a tear from her cheek. I rolled my thumb over her soft skin and cupped her cheek with my hand.

"But I'm here now, and so are you."

I used towels to cover her arms and then rolled the sponge over her neck and shoulders. She took in a deep breath as I patted her dry and kissed her skin, following the path I made with the towel.

"You're SO much better than Mike." She sighed.

I raised an eyebrow with a twinge of jealousy, but shook it off. Well, _almost._

"He's never going to touch you again." I smirked.

She grinned for a second, but her face suddenly became serious.

She exhaled heavily and stared at the ceiling. "I wanted our reunion to be so much more than this."

I went back to patting her dry and kissing her along her ribs and down toward her stomach.

"It will be, when you're well. Don't worry about that now. This is everything I want or need. It's more than enough for me to see you, to touch you, to just know you're alive."

The awful ache in my chest was back. My lips trailed kisses over her hip as I pulled back the towel from her skin. When I finished, I pulled the sheets and blankets over her and began tucking them in around her.

"You keep kissing me like that and I'll make you my slave again." Bella bit down on her lower lip in concentration. "We'll have to figure out a way to bolt the door from the inside and cover up the window. I'm not quite sure how we'd work around the tent over my legs though…"

The smile crossed my face from ear to ear. I wrinkled my brow and shook my head when I realized she was serious.

"You look tired. Why don't you go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Oh, now you want me to sleep? Impossible!"

It took so little to exhaust her. It was maddening to think there wasn't anything else I could do for her.

I gently sat on the edge of her bed. She pulled her arm out from under the covers and laid her hand across my thigh. I leaned forward placed my left hand over her cheek. My other hand began stroking her hair.

"You're not playing fair," she said as her eyelids fluttered.

"I know. Get used to it," I whispered softly.

After a few minutes, she fell asleep. I sat back into the chair beside her bed and gently grabbed her hand.

Nurse Platt softly called my name, "Edward?"

I sat up and yawned, realizing I had probably dozed off shortly after Bella did. I hunched my shoulders forward to stretch without letting go of her hand.

"I'm sorry to wake you. You looked like you needed the sleep. I thought maybe you'd be more comfortable in a bed."

"I can't leave her."

"You won't have to. There's a trundle under this bed for when we have two patients in the ward. We'll pull it out and set it up for you. I'm going to give her another dose of morphine so she can rest through the night. If you'd like, I'll wake you a little before it's due to wear off tomorrow morning."

"Thank you," I said.

Nurse Platt led me down the hall and handed me a gown, a robe, and a toothbrush.

"Just put your clothes in this bag. We'll have clean ones for you in the morning. You'll need to scrub up again when you're done. The scrub room is at the end of the hall." I nodded, remembering the need to be as sterile as possible.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Your personal effects arrived from the field hospital. Is there anything I can bring you?"

"Yes, there is a leather journal. Is there any way I can give it to Bella? It's sort of a gift."

"I'll figure something out." She smiled.

When I got back to Bella's room, the bed was set up just a few feet from hers. Nurse Platt was almost finished charting Bella's vitals.

"How long was she awake?" Nurse Platt asked.

"About forty minutes."

Nurse Platt grimaced and finished writing something on the chart.

"Why do you ask? You don't look happy about it."

"Two weeks ago, she was able to stay awake for over two hours. Now it's forty minutes."

She mumbled something under her breath, but I didn't hear it.

"What?" I asked.

"It's beating her." Nurse Platt dropped her head down, not wanting to face me.

I teetered between the thought of letting her go, so she could escape the agony she'd been living for the last three months, and the unbearable thought of losing her.

I knew she would continue to fight.

We would fight together.

* * *

A/N: I did a bunch of research on burns and grafts because I wasn't sure what techniques were available in 1944. I didn't include the links to all the sites, they're too graphic. (I had to look though my fingers every time I opened a new website to do research.)

**The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **6

**Title **Brittle Battle

* * *

**Story reference: **Nurse Platt describes the debridement and aspects of Bella's care.

**Historical Significance: **Procedures, risks and recovery time for burn grafts. (this site is based on modern healthcare)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)surgeryencyclopedia(dot)com/Pa-St/Skin-Grafting(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Carlisle uses a petroleum based treatment on Bella's burns.

**Historical Significance: **Article describes treatments prior to WWII and how they forestalled healing. This was the treatment Bella received at Mill Hill. The petroleum treatment Dr. Bradford Cannon and his peers devised is what Carlisle is using to help save Bella's life.

**Source: **http:/ezinearticles(dot)com/?World-War-II-Contributions-to-the-Treatment-of-Multiple-Burn-Victims&id=3856873

* * *

Have faith gang...trust Edward's words. We'll find a path for Bella in chapter 7.

I hope you've enjoyed chapter six. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

First Blush


	7. Chapter 7 Discovery

********

AN: Writing historical fiction became really fun for me both in this chapter and the next one I'll be sending. History provides it's own plot lines.

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

Discovery

Dr. Cullen shook my arm gently.

"Edward," he called in a hushed voice.

I squinted my eyes and yawned, trying to remember how to open them. I groaned once at the soreness in my side and then struggled to sit up.

"Is she okay? What's wrong?"

I looked over toward Bella's bed. The sun wasn't quite up yet, but I could see from her windows that the horizon was beginning to glow. I looked over at Bella lying in her hospital bed. There were white compresses resting on her arms and one on her forehead.

I sat upright and my heart stuttered. I was taking in rapid breaths, panicked by the fact that I had missed whatever necessitated this therapy. The pain in my side ached with fire.

"She slept fine. There isn't any imminent danger," Dr. Cullen said.

"What do you mean by eminent?"

He sighed.

"Edward, her condition is not really any different than I had told you yesterday. She's struggling with the infection. Her fever spiked during the night, but we've used compresses to cool her. So far she's responded, and the fever has come down a bit. The prognosis is that she will continue to get worse if we don't find a treatment that halts the progression.

That's why I came to wake you. Remember yesterday when you were saying I needed new colleagues?" I nodded. "Well, I took your advice. I sent out a broader request for information through ETOUSA. A colleague at the 17th Station Hospital in Australia recommended that we try penicillin. I had only heard of it being used for battle wounds to prevent infection. In June, they used it on a patient with septicemia. It is a blood infection similar to what we're battling with Bella. I want to try it. Honestly, she doesn't have anything to lose."

"Okay," I said. "Do it _now_."

"I don't have it here. This is a convalescent hospital. Penicillin is being used on the frontlines, and up until mid-summer there were tightly monitored military restrictions on its use."

"Colonel Swan." I breathed.

"Exactly," he replied. "We're going to need someone with his level of authority to divert the penicillin from the frontlines and field hospitals up here. Based on the recommendation from the colleague in Australia, she's going to need a lot of it. Something as sizeable as two million units, but I think we'd better ask for three."

"When will she wake up?"

"With the fever, I don't know, but the morphine is due to wear off within the hour."

"I promised that I'd be here when she woke up. I won't break that promise to her. Call Colonel Swan. Wake him up if you have to. He gave me his word that he would help her if we needed him."

"I don't want to say anything to Bella until we've secured the penicillin," Dr. Cullen said.

"I agree. I need to get dressed and get back here before she wakes up."

"And eat something too," he ordered.

I grimaced but agreed. I rolled over and slid out of bed, while grabbing the robe that Nurse Platt had given me last night. There was a paper laundry bag at the end of my bed with fresh clothes. My shoes were polished and clean. I eyed the orderly who was in the room tending to Bella.

"If she wakes up…"

"I'll find you," the orderly replied.

Dr. Cullen was already out the door, taking off his mask and gown. I gave Bella a hopeful glance and gently stroked her hand before following after him.

"I've got some calls to make," Dr. Cullen called out. "They'll come get me if her condition changes. I'll be back as soon as I know when we're getting the penicillin."

**oo!oo**

I was back in her room, holding her hand. My thumb traced slowly and repeatedly over her knuckles. She felt so warm. The orderly brought fresh compresses, and I helped him replace the old ones. He had a bowl of water and a sponge. He dipped it and began wiping down her chest and behind her neck.

"I'll do that," I offered.

"Start with her neckline, her shoulders and her chest. Go under her arms and in the creases of her elbows. Then move behind her neck where the air doesn't circulate. You want to cool down her pulse points."

I nodded and began to wipe where he had left off. The orderly went to take the old compresses out of the room. Before the door fully closed behind him, Nurse Platt entered with a small package in her hands. She saw me working with the sponge and crossed the room to the far side of Bella's bed. Nurse Platt exhaled, pursing her lips in frustration, and picked up another sponge to work on Bella's right side. She expertly picked up Bella's arm and ran the sponge from her wrist to her underarm in one continuous movement.

"If you lift her arm away from her, it circulates more air to cool her extremities."

I nodded and tried to match her movements. I noticed the flat package that she laid by the bowl of water. It was wrapped and tied with a white bow.

"What's that?" I asked.

"It's your journal. I was able to sterilize it for you. I figured since you said it was a gift I'd wrap it for her."

"Thank you," I said. "Not just for this, but for everything you've done and are doing for her."

She shrugged. "It's my job," she said.

She thought for a moment and furrowed her brow. After pausing to look into Bella's soft face, Nurse Platt shook her head softly before speaking with a heavy sigh.

"She's easy to love," she finally said.

Bella started to stir. Her eyes fluttered and then squinted. She held her breath.

Nurse Platt left her sponge in the bowl to draw up some more morphine. I sat on the edge of her bed and twined her fingers into mine. I brushed the matted hair away from her cheek. Her eyes seemed to find their focus, and she gave me a small smile.

"Hey, sleepyhead." I smiled, realizing how the light in her eyes was a little dimmer than it was yesterday.

I bent down to softly kiss her lips. She lifted her chin toward my mouth and ran her fingers through my hair. I could feel the heat from both her lips and her hand against my scalp.

"Help me sit up?" she asked.

I reached down and wrapped my arms behind her back to pull her forward. She winced and tightened her jaw. Her body lay draped over my shoulder. She pulled on the back of my arm and kissed down my neck and collar.

"You smell good," she said.

"Freshly sterilized." I grinned.

Bella leaned her head to the side so that her whisper would only reach my ears.

"So did you enjoy my bath so much yesterday that you decided to take advantage of me in my sleep?"

I nodded. "But then again, you can't take advantage of the willing."

She grinned and somehow found the strength to squeeze my shoulders.

"The pain in my legs is a little better today," she acknowledged.

"How else do you feel?"

"Truthfully, tired and weak, kind of like an elephant sat on my chest while I was out. That's why I wanted to sit up."

Nurse Platt was at the far side of Bella's bed with her stethoscope in her hands.

"I need to listen to your lungs, Bella."

Bella nodded and took deep breaths when instructed. After she finished charting and jotting down her notes, she untied the strings of Bella's gown. She grabbed the sponge full of icy water and pulled it in long motions from her neck all the way down her back. Bella shuddered from the chill and pulled herself tighter to me. I swept her hair off of her back and over her shoulder. When Nurse Platt finished, I helped change Bella's gown and her wet sheets. Soon Bella was resting with a new set of compresses against her flushed skin.

I was wiping a cloth over her neck, her chest and her face.

"This is familiar," She mused.

I guessed she was referring back to the night at Hanslope Park. Before I could answer her, I noticed that she was staring past the bowl on the table where her eyes had caught on the package with the white ribbon.

"What's that?" she asked.

I shrugged sheepishly.

"Well…I'm over a month late, but it's your anniversary present."

Her eyes flashed up to mine and lit up the whole room.

"I promise I'll never be one of those husbands who forgets his anniversary. I was just a bit out of it on the actual day. It's not French perfume, but I think you'll like it."

I picked up the journal and laid it in her hands. Bella fingered the covering reverently. I slid the ribbon off for her and the light blue cloth unwrapped itself.

"It's my journal. It was my way of bringing you along with me after I left," I whispered.

Her tears were falling down her cheeks. She reached her arms up to hug me. She pulled me tightly with all the strength she could muster.

"Read some of it to me," she begged.

I picked up the book and flipped it open. I knew the page I wanted to reach. It had been marked so many times when I bent the spine to retrace my thoughts of her on long, dreary days and cold nights. The passage was one I wrote the night before the Normandy invasion. I needed her to 'hear' my words and know how much I loved her. She was the source of all my strength. I fervently believed that somehow she would pull me through the terror and looming uncertainty of the upcoming battle.

_June 5, 1944_

_My Bella,_

_Tonight I seem to be missing you more than I can express. It has been a lonely five months since I left your tearful stare and waving arms in London. It seems to me like an eternity._

_As difficult as it is to be away from you, I want you to know that I'm the luckiest man alive because I have you to love. I am so much stronger because of you. I see your beautiful face when I close my eyes at night and it gives me hope. On the days when I'm scared and when I'm tired, I remember my promise. I remember the vow we made to each other. I will survive for you._

_Be safe and keep me in your prayers, my love._

_Always,_

_Edward._

Bella's tears were rolling down her face. She reached for me to pull her upright. Her arms wrapped around me and she sobbed. I ran my hand over her head and down her back. I didn't want her to cry anymore. She needed to conserve her energy for her own fight.

"Okay, if it's that bad of a gift, I'll take it back and figure out a way to get you the perfume. I hear they made it into Paris last month," I said thoughtfully.

She laughed and then tried to muster the strength to punch me in the shoulder with the side of her fist. I wouldn't let go of her. Then she closed her eyes and hugged me tighter.

Dr. Cullen pushed into the room in a flurry. The wind from the door blew a breeze into her face and she jerked in my arms. The sudden movement brought on a rush of pain. She gritted her teeth and held her breath. I laid her back down on her bed so that Nurse Platt could administer some more morphine in her IV. She had gone a long time without any, longer than I had realized.

Bella wasn't distracted by Nurse Platt's approach. She eyed me as I got up from her bed to speak with Dr. Cullen. He leaned into my ear so that Bella couldn't hear him.

"Colonel Swan will help her."

My eyes widened, and my chin immediately picked up.

"Bella, I need to talk to Dr. Cullen. I'll be back as soon as I can," I promised.

The morphine was taking effect, and as much as she wanted to argue or at least find out why I was leaving, Mike and Nurse Platt had already descended on her to start up another sponge bath. Their movements blocked her view of me. Dr. Cullen and I took the opportunity to silently leave.

We walked down the hallway and into the elevator to get to Dr. Cullen's office. His face had a look of renewed determination.

"I started calling Colonel Swan at around seven this morning. I finally reached him at nine. He sent a driver as soon as I got off the phone with him. He just arrived a few minutes ago. Colonel Swan said that he and his staff were going to call all of the field hospitals in and around London. He'll call again as soon as he secures the penicillin."

"The driver's here? Who did he send?"

"He said his name was Whitlock."

A broad grin came over my face. Jasper _was_ getting closer to Colonel Swan's inner circle. When we reached his office, I saw Jasper sitting in a chair across from Dr. Cullen's desk. He stood and saluted me.

"Corporal Masen."

I saluted in return with a smirk. There wasn't any need for formalities.

"Still looking for action?" I shook my head.

"Actually, I heard you could use a lift."

"Yes. We'll plan to leave as soon as we hear from Colonel Swan.

He nodded. "I'm ready with everything we'll need."

Someone from Dr. Cullen's staff had brought lunch for us. I looked at the clock and realized it was just after noon. We sat down to eat, and Jasper filled me in on Colonel Swan's plans. There were fifteen general hospitals and field units within a two hour radius of London. His secretaries were drafting the order to pull the penicillin for Bella. As soon as he could locate a hospital with enough extra supply, he would send the order over via telegram. We would then follow to the location to pick it up. Jasper also had a signed copy of the order; only his didn't list a specific hospital unit.

"How's Mrs. Masen?" he asked.

"She's holding her own for now, but she's getting weaker. The infection seems to be stronger than she is."

Dr. Cullen was nodding in agreement. We were finishing lunch when Mike suddenly appeared in Dr. Cullen's office. His eyes met mine for a brief second as he quickly turned to Dr. Cullen.

"You're needed in the burn unit, sir."

I flew out of my chair and struggled down the hall after Dr. Cullen and Mike. I wasn't upset that neither had stopped to wait for me. Dr. Cullen needed to get to her first. I got to the scrub room as Dr. Cullen and Mike were exiting. I finished scrubbing and tore down the hall to Bella's room as fast as my limp would allow me. Nurse Platt was waiting for me.

"I sent Mike for Dr. Cullen because her fever was starting to spike again. She's awake and Dr. Cullen is examining her. Our immediate concern is her rapid breathing. You need to stay calm for her. If you panic, it will scare her. Okay?"

I nodded, anxious and terrified as she led me into the room. Bella was sitting upright, draped over the orderly I recognized as Mike, while Dr. Cullen listened to her lungs with his stethoscope. Bella was breathing faster than normal, like she had just finished a jog to the end of her street. After Dr. Cullen finished, I moved to trade places with Mike while he left to get more compresses. I looked into Bella's eyes and tried to hide my panic. The corners of my mouth edged up in an effort to fake a smile. I leaned my head down toward her ear and whispered too softly for anyone else to hear.

"Hey, I thought you were going to wait until we figured out how to bolt the door _before_ you started any heavy breathing."

She couldn't help but snicker a little, and she shook her head at me.

"I thought I was the one with the one track mind."

"You are. Let's keep it that way. The sooner we get you well, the sooner I can make good on my duties as your husband."

A hand rapped gently on the window of Bella's door. Dr. Cullen nodded and made his way to the door.

"Bella, I'll be back to see you shortly. Nurse Platt will stay with you. Deep, slow breaths, remember?" Dr. Cullen ordered.

Bella nodded at him as he and Mike strode through the door. I laid her gently down on her bed. Bella looked at me suspiciously.

"Okay, time to come clean," she said, taking a stuttering breath. "I know you too well, Edward Anthony Masen. Yesterday you said that Colonel Swan himself couldn't drag you away, and today you go running off, leaving me with Mike for a very cold sponge bath!"

Her face was filled with mock horror. She began to murmur under her breath.

"And, you said he'd never touch me again."

She was teasing me, or at least trying, despite the ache and heat radiating from her small frame. Yet she had made her point; she didn't want me to keep anything from her.

"It's _Corporal_ Edward Anthony Masen, thank you very much."

I didn't care about the promotion; I was just trying to stall.

"Corporal Masen?" She gingerly shrugged her shoulders with surprise. "When? How?"

"After Marigny, but of course I didn't get to enjoy any of the fanfare because I was asleep."

"You must have needed the rest," she said smugly. "Now about your exit earlier…"

"Earlier?" I asked.

"Yes, earlier," she replied with a labored sigh. "Your diversion tactics are weak. I've had training, remember?"

I dropped my shoulders in defeat. Her breathing was still too fast. I tried a different approach.

"How about I hold you so you're upright again and you try to match your breathing to mine?"

"Okay," she nodded.

I gently pulled Bella forward. She drooped and almost like an infant and laid her head on my shoulder. I positioned her chest on top of mine, and I tried to slow down the timing of her breaths. Bella began lightly kissing my neck and my shoulder.

"I don't think that's going to slow down your breathing," I said in a disapproving tone.

"Okay," she said. "I'll stop if you talk."

Dr. Cullen reappeared through her door. We both sighed, mine out of relief and hers out of frustration.

"Edward," Dr. Cullen called. His head nodded at me once.

A huge grin appeared on my face, and I turned to Bella and kissed her a little too hard.

"Give me ten minutes; I swear I'll be right back."

"My slave for two nights in a row," she bartered in my ear.

"Your slave every night," I countered with an enigmatic smile.

I gently laid her back on her bed and shot her a look of warning.

"Please, love, easy breaths."

I squeezed her hand and turned to amble quickly through the door.

**********

* * *

AN: **All of the history about penicillin is true. When I wrote this chapter I started researching the idea of using wide spectrum antibiotics. Little did I relize that antibiotics weren't widely available prior to the summer of 1944. They only became mass produced right before the battle of Normandy. I'm amazed at how far medicine has progressed since the time of this story.

Drop me a review and let know what you think. -FB

PS: The part about the doctor in Australia is also true. ; )

* * *

**The Last Breath**

**********************Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Chapter 7 Discovery

**Story reference: **Dr. Cullen suggests penicillin for treating Bella's infection. He cites its successful use by a colleague in Australia.

**Historical Significance: **Historical use of Penicillin for treating a blood infection in Australia. Documents use and success in 1944. Conveys the restrictions for use prior to mass production by Pfizer along with other pharmaceutical companies.

**Source: **http:/books(dot)google(dot)com/books?id=0iihcA2MikQC&pg=PA187&lpg=PA187&dq=Penicillin+use+in+WWII&source=bl&ots=MjhVZ_Io_G&sig=XvUWBrqKFsZgGVk4Xl1-rlCF06k&hl=en&ei=wREaStaDNJjFtgeftc32DA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1#PPA187,M1

**Source: **http:/home(dot)att(dot)net/~steinert/wwii(dot)htm

* * *

**Story Reference:** Bella's infection is leading to a deadly condition, blood poisioning

**Historical Significance: **U.S. President Calvin Collidge: Shortly following his nomination, tragedy struck the Coolidge family. Their son, Calvin, blistered a toe while playing tennis and it became infected. The 16-year-old later died of blood poisoning.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)u-s-history(dot)com/pages/h1584(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference:** Edward tells Bella he can give her French perfume as a gift if she didn't like his journal citing that the allies made it to Paris last month(dot)

**Historical Significance:** Allied troops liberated Paris in August of 1944

**Source: **http:/www(dot)historynet(dot)com/world-war-ii-the-liberation-of-paris(dot)htm#hide


	8. Chapter 8 Flight

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

**A/N: **_Take a deep breath before reading this one, you might need it._

* * *

Flight

When I reached the opposite side of Bella's door, Dr. Cullen and Jasper were waiting for me.

Dr. Cullen looked directly at Jasper. "Don't touch Edward; he's still sterile and he'll want to go back into her room."

Jasper nodded before he spoke.

"Colonel Swan found the penicillin. It's at the 105th Evacuation Hospital in Bournemouth, but they're pulling out for Valgones, France, _today_. The extra supplies came in last night before their departure. Colonel Swan had to use a lot of clout to get their commanding officer (CO), Colonel Craig, to give up some of his supplies. He finally agreed and told Colonel Swan that they're holding the three million units of penicillin for Bella at the Southampton Port. They're leaving on a British steamer called the _SS Duke of Wellington_. They disembark at 5pm. One way or another, they will leave the supplies for us, but it will be safer if we get it from them directly before they shove off."

What time is it now, and how long is the trip?" I asked.

"It's a little after one thirty and _if_ the roads are passable, the trip will take two hours," Jasper replied impatiently.

"I have to talk to her first. I can't leave without explaining."

"Edward, we could use the morphine to keep her sedated while you're gone," Dr. Cullen offered.

"No," I said, violently shaking my head. "I can't betray her like that. It would destroy her if I didn't make it back, and I never told her goodbye. I have to be the one to explain it to her."

"What are you talking about, Edward? We're going to make it back just fine," Jasper said with too much confidence.

"Not _we,_ Jasper, just me. I'm going alone."

"What?" he sputtered. He looked taken aback, as though he'd been betrayed.

"Jasper, she needs the medicine tonight. At best, I'll make it back here by dusk. At worst, I'll be making the return trip in the dark with no headlights. It's too dangerous for you. I'll barter my life for hers, but mine alone."

Jasper ignored me.

"Go talk to her while I get the car ready. I'll meet you right in front of the hospital with the engine running."

I didn't have the time to argue with him. I'd kick him out of the car if I had to later. I turned and walked into Bella's room. They had cranked her bed up so that she was sitting more upright. I went right to her side and grabbed her hand. Bella's eyes fluttered open, but she regarded me rather suspiciously.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

I was caught completely off guard. I felt my face go blank, wondering how the hell she knew I was leaving her.

Bella huffed loudly. She dropped her shoulders and began shaking her head. There was a painful grimace on her face. I didn't know if it was the pain of her burns or perception of my imminent departure.

"You had the same look when you got your transfer papers last November," she replied.

I smiled to myself at how well she knew me. Bella was my perfect match in so many ways.

"I'm going to save you," I replied simply. "Your brilliant physician here found something that will get rid of your infection. I'm going to get it and bring it back for you."

"Where is it?" she asked

Her jaw was tight; she knew how to pump people for the right information.

"Southampton," I replied with what I hoped was a confident look of self possession upon my face.

She looked at the clock across the room and quickly came to the right conclusion in her head.

"You won't make it back before dark."

"I will, if you let me out of here."

"No. It's too dangerous. It can wait until morning."

"Actually, love, it can't. The 105th is shoving off for Valgones, France, at 5pm tonight. Besides, the sooner I get this for you, the sooner you get well and we get you out of here."

"Edward, don't drive back at night. _Please."_

She pulled her hands over her eyes and began to shake with fear. Her own memories of the air raid must have been right there with her.

"I won't be alone," I lied_._ "Colonel Swan sent a driver with his car. His name is Jasper; he's the one that drove me up here yesterday. You'll like him when you get a chance to meet him."

"Edward, I can't. Please don't do this."

"Have some faith in me and do whatever they tell you to do, all right?"

My voice was steady, despite the ache in my chest. She knew I was leaving. I pulled back from her and held her face in my hands. I rubbed her soft cheeks slowly and intently with my thumbs. I leaned in to stare straight into her eyes.

"Survive for me."

"And you for me," she said.

I kissed her urgently, then once more softly and left.

Jasper had the car running outside of the hospital entrance just as he said he would. The passenger side door was open, and he was in the driver's seat. I ignored the open door and went directly to the driver's side.

"Get out," I ordered.

"Get in," he replied.

"Get out, private. That's an order."

Jasper revved the engine pretending he couldn't hear my command.

"Edward, I'm holding all the cards here. I have the map and the order from Colonel Swan in my pocket. I also have the car in drive and my foot is on the break. You have one more chance to get in or I'm taking off without you to do this myself."

He edged his foot to loosen the break, and the car inched forward. He slammed down on the break again, and the car lurched to a stop.

"Get in, Edward, last chance."

I exhaled, heavily annoyed that I had been defeated by a private with a lot less training. I ambled back around the car and stumbled into the passenger seat. Jasper took off before I had the door pulled shut.

"Your CO is going to hear about this," I spat out of anger.

"Go ahead. I think it would make him quite happy. It might even get me closer to those dangerous missions you keep goading me about."

"This is no joke, Jasper. I told you this stuff is dangerous. Bella's life means everything to me. I'd gladly trade mine for hers, but I won't ask you to do the same. You're staying in Southampton, and I'll have Colonel Swan send a car for you in the morning."

"You're not asking me, Edward. _I'm_ doing this for you and for her. If the roads are dark on the way back, you'll need a second set of eyes to make sure you don't run off the road. I can help you look out for German planes. Colonel Swan got us two pairs of night goggles. They're in the sack in the back seat, along with food and anything else I thought we would need."

I sighed. This didn't go the way I had wanted, but a selfish part of me was glad. I had to admit that he had a knack for this, and his charismatic smile made it hard for me to remain angry with him. Most importantly, we were on our way to get Bella what she needed. Jasper had his foot to the floor.

"I don't have a watch. What time is it now?"

"It's almost fourteen hundred hours, and I have some of your personal effects in the back seat.

"Sunset will be at about ten minutes to seven. With any luck we'll be back before final light. Are you feeling lucky, Jasper?"

"Extremely," he crooned with confidence.

I stared out the window for a while, checking the roads as far ahead as I could see. We needed to go faster. I wanted to be back in Bella's room, holding her hand, kissing her fingers. I turned to reach around to the back seat to get my things. Leaning halfway back I stopped abruptly and winced at in pain. I took in a quick half breath and then grabbed for the bag. Jasper halted the roll of his eyes in deference to my rank then reached around me and pulled it up to me. I was still weaker than I was ready to admit. He handed me the bag and pursed his lips together. He was asking me to ease up.

"You need me right now. Just let me help you. It will be easier if we do this together," he pled.

I ignored him and pulled the bag onto my lap. My watch lay deep within a pocket; I quickly snatched it and synchronized it with Jaspers. Once my dog tags, wallet and military ID were recovered, I dug through the folds of the wallet to find my photograph of Bella. This was the image that got me through cold, lonely nights and desolate, hungry days. I handed it to Jasper smiling with pride.

"This is her. This is my Bella."

Jasper took the photo and moving his eyes from the road to glance down at it. His body seemed to stiffen and his eyes grew wide as he stared at her. Jasper recovered enough to look back up to the road and hastily over corrected for edging too far toward the right shoulder. The car weaved and shuddered as he hit the breaks to straighten out. My hands flew up to the dash to brace myself. The back end swerved, as he corrected.

"Jeeze, you idiot, now I'm never going to let you see her."

"I'm sorry, Edward," he said.

Both our hearts were pounding loudly as we drew in ragged breaths.

"I thought you said you were lucky."

"I am!" he replied. We're still on the road!"

We didn't say anything for a while. I thought he was too afraid I'd yell at him again. Finally, he looked over to me inquisitively, and paused. The look of consternation on his face belayed his hesitation. I laughed to myself, having already guessed what he was fearful of asking me.

"Edward, forgive me for this, but how the hell did you ever get _her _to marry you?"

"I'll try to take that as a compliment." I laughed out loud this time. "I more or less proposed that first night in Hanslope Park.

I remembered the feel of placing Bella's hand on my chest as I continued.

"Bella healed an ache in me that had been there since my brother, Riley, died. Somehow she saw through everything I was trying to be for him. She reminded me of how to live for myself again instead of only living for Riley's memory. I loved her from the first minute I saw her, but after that night, I knew I couldn't live without her.

Bella saw things a little differently. She'll tell you that she learned how to breathe when I met her. She had spent most of her young life trying to prove herself. She was so used to being told no because she was a woman. She liked that I treated her as an equal, as a partner, in every way possible. Once she knew I saw her that way, she let her guard down and probably for the first time in her life showed someone her true self. Before I met her, she told me she'd never allowed herself to be vulnerable. I showed her how being vulnerable with someone doesn't mean you're weak. It just means that you found someone to trust with the truest part of yourself. I would never break her trust. That's why I had to tell her I was leaving today when Dr. Cullen offered the morphine."

Jasper nodded.

Time passed slowly as we made our path down to Southampton. I picked up the map again when we were about ten miles from the Southampton Port. The roads still looked good. Maybe Jasper's luck would really hold. I looked down at my watch; it was five minutes to four. We would be arriving a bit closer to the 105th's departure time than I had wanted. Jasper kept his foot to the floor and weaved the car through the little town.

"Jasper, when we get to the security check let me do the talking. No matter what you hear me say, act like you've heard it a thousand times before. Don't flinch, don't shift your weight, don't squint, don't sigh and for God's sake, keep your mouth shut."

"Yes, sir."

A few minutes later we pulled up next to a security detail at the edge of the port. A soldier stepped over to Jasper's window.

"ID and orders," he directed.

Jasper handed him Colonel Swan's signed order along with his military ID card. I reached over, still feeling the pain in my side, and handed him mine. The officer nodded and pointed down toward the docks. The _SS Duke of Wellington_ was the second boat down the pier. Jasper nodded and drove down to the edge of the dock.

"Hand me Colonel Swan's order, and pull as close as you can to the ramp. I still limp a bit, and I don't want to give them any reason to be suspicious of us. The shorter my walk, the easier it will be for me to hide the limp."

Jasper complied and pulled the car within two feet of the massive ramp. Two armed soldiers were waiting at the ramp's edge while medical techs loaded supplies. Jasper shut off the engine, and I caught his arm before he could turn to open the car door.

"Remember, let me do the talking."

Jasper nodded. The soldiers saw my rank and saluted me. I saluted in return.

"We have orders from Colonel Swan in ETOUSA to pick up medical supplies."

I showed the order to the first soldier, holding it out so that he could read it. The order never left my hand.

"I'll take the order to Colonel Craig. Wait here".

"The order stays with me," I answered firmly. "You can bring me to the colonel, or tell him I'm here while I wait. Soldier, the order is clear, and you disembark in less than fifty minutes."

The soldier pursed his lips in frustration and strode up the ramp quickly. I fumed impatiently and waited for his return. Five minutes later, the soldier called down an order from the top of the ramp.

"He wants to see you."

I nodded to Jasper, and we walked up the ramp. I was able to hold onto the railing to help hide my awkward gait. Colonel Craig was at the back of the ship, overseeing the loading and arrangement of the supplies.

"So you're Colonel Swan's men," Colonel Craig sneered.

He spoke without turning. I gathered that he could hear our approach.

"Yes, colonel," I replied, saluting him briskly.

"Let me see your order."

I relaxed and took one step forward, handing him the order. He briskly pulled the paper from my hand and read the order.

"I don't like giving up my supplies. Some soldier out there needs them."

"Someone here needs them too, sir," I respectfully countered.

He turned and looked up at me suspiciously. I could tell by his stance he wasn't looking for platitudes. He walked through me and Jasper knocking me off balance a bit. He likely suspected my injury from the sound of my approach, and the uneasy shift in my weight had just proven it to him. We followed him to the brig and through a narrow hall into a small conference room. There was a small crate of supplies on the table.

"I need to know that you are who you say you are. I know they checked your IDs and all that crap at security. Now prove it to me."

I locked my jaw. Jasper just needed to keep his mouth shut.

"I don't want your name or rank, soldier. If you're one of Colonel Swan's men I want the code name."

I didn't move, I didn't flinch, and I didn't breathe. Inside my head I was moving a hundred miles an hour. Would Colonel Swan have told him that? Out loud and over the phone? I hadn't worked for Colonel Swan in nine months; what if the code name had changed? Colonel Swan was neither a stupid nor a reckless man. The code names were never said over open phone lines. The only way he would have divulged the information was if he had no other choice…if Bella's life hung in the balance.

_Time's up, only one word to say and then I hold my breath and pray._

"NEWBORN."

Colonel Craig didn't react. _Oh, God._ My heart heaved with a stabbing, sickening pain. Two seconds passed. I didn't move and neither did Jasper. Three seconds, then Colonel Craig turned and picked up the crate and placed it into Jasper's arms.

"There are four million units of penicillin and ten bottles of sterile saline. There is a supply of glass syringes secured for the trip in gauze. I'd hand the box to you, corporal, but you look like you're barely out of the hospital yourself."

"I'm fine, sir,"

The colonel pushed his hand gently but firmly into my wound. The indentation left a dime sized wet mark on my shirt. I winced.

"Sit down," he said.

"Sir, we have to go, and so do you."

"I said, _sit down_," he ordered.

"Yes, sir."

He called over to one of his men who then brought a small kit into the room. Colonel Craig disappeared for a few minutes. When he returned his shirt sleeves were rolled up. He was carrying a towel and wiping water off his arms.

"Stand up and drop your trousers," he ordered.

I lifted my shirt while Colonel Craig started removing the bandages from yesterday.

"How long has she had the infection?" he asked.

I stiffened at the question. Only Colonel Swan could have told him that the medicine was for Bella. It didn't matter, the supposition was only wasting precious time. Time was something Bella didn't have. We needed to get out of here as quickly as possible.

"Two weeks as of today."

"Any vomiting?"

"No. Not that I'm aware of; she had a fever last night, and it spiked again today. When I left they were concerned about her breathing. She sounded like she had just jogged down to the mailbox. She was awake and aware when I left."

"How tall is she? What does she weigh?"

"She's about 5'4", and probably only about 115 pounds right now." I grimaced at the thought of it.

He applied some antiseptic and squinted while working to tape me up. He was analyzing my words.

"Tell them to simultaneously inject three hundred thousand units intravenously and two hundred thousand units directly into the chest muscle. Tell them to follow that every three hours for twelve hours and then just through intravenous until you finish the rest of the units. Use all of it to make sure you knock it out of her."

I nodded.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome," he said and then offered me his hand to help me stand. "Son, I've seen this stuff work miracles…" He paused to allow his words to sink in. "…but either way, take care of yourself."

I looked down and swallowed hard. I took a deep breath and nodded once. We saluted one another; then Jasper and I left.

Jasper carried the crate securely in his arms as we made our way back to the car. Jasper placed the box in my arms as I slid into the sedan. I looked at my watch, anxious to be on the road. It was five minutes to five. Instead of dropping into the driver's seat, Jasper grabbed the keys from the ignition and opened the trunk. He had grabbed two spare gas tanks from the trunk and was filling up the sedan. I waited impatiently, but begrudgingly recognized that it was safer to do this here than on the road at night. Jasper secured all of the gas tanks, then finally threw the empty spares in the trunk. He hopped into the driver's seat and pulled a duffel bag from the back seat onto the bench between us.

"There's food in there, sir."

"Jasper, just drive."

"Yes, sir."

I lifted the soft packaging on the crate, checking all of the bottles and the packets of dried penicillin. There was a sealed envelope on top with my name on it. It was a copy of a decoded message from Colonel Swan:

Germans expected to initiate new attacks on the British Aircraft Industry. Attacks are planned for daylight hours commencing on September 25th. Raids are expected at Bristol; however, service personnel should take all necessary measures to protect Spitfire development sites in Southampton.

I folded the message when we pulled up to security. It was a different guard this time; they must have changed shifts at seventeen hundred.

"Orders and military ID," he said.

Jasper handed him Colonel Swan's signed order along with our military ID cards. I was still contemplating the meaning that Colonel Swan intended for me in his message. Most likely he was warning us to be sure to get out before the raids.

"Who is Corporal Masen?"

"I am," I replied.

"And who are you?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows at Jasper.

"He's Private Jasper Whitlock. He was sent along with me to retrieve medical supplies for a hospital in Stoneleigh Park. The supplies are needed urgently; we need to get on the road before it gets dark."

"Corporal, the orders make no mention of Private Whitlock. I'm sorry, but we'll need to detain him until we can get confirmation of his orders. We have orders to secure any deserters. Please pull off to the side and cut the engine."

Jasper did as ordered and then the soldier left to call his CO for further instruction. I threw my head back against the seat.

"Sir, leave me here. You can still make it back by dark if you leave now."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Colonel Swan will send a car for me in the next day or so."

"No, Jasper, he won't."

I handed Jasper Colonel Swan's message. He took a breath and turned to me.

"Leave me here. I'll be fine," he said. "They'll need help here anyway."

"That's not an option. I told you I wouldn't barter with your life. She wouldn't want it that way either."

"I'll get out on my own then and you can drive off."

"The hell you will."

"If you leave this car, I'll have to go after you. I won't leave this crate, and this crate won't leave this car. Everything will go to hell if either of us gets out. There's no possible good outcome from confronting them head on. I have to think."

"Sir."

"Shut up, Jasper."

"SIR!"

"WHAT!"

"I have something! I think it will work."

He reached around the back seat and picked up a manila folder. It was the one Colonel Swan had put in the car yesterday that contained telegrams from Dr. Cullen. I could only read a few of them before throwing the rest across the seat.

"I found this in the back seat yesterday when I got back to London. I planned to give it back to Colonel Swan this morning. I had it with me when he called me into his office. He gave me instructions to get to you as quickly as possible and handed me a handwritten note to get his car out of the depot. It's dated, has my name on it, and is signed by Colonel Swan. The signature will match the order."

Jasper pulled the note out of the back of the folder.

"I was still carrying the folder when I got down to the depot. When they gave me the car, I put the folder in the back seat."

I punched him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"You could have told me about that earlier."

"It wasn't important earlier!"

I wanted to strangle him. Actually, I probably could have kissed him.

"What do we do now?"

"We wait until he comes back. Don't get out of the car."

A few minutes later, the soldier returned.

"Sir, command needs to confirm the orders for Private Whitlock before you can leave. I'm sorry for the delay. Orders."

"Private Yorkie," I said, reading the name on his shirt. "I have the documents you need right here." I gestured to him, lifting the manila folder in my hand. "Can you give me back the order from Colonel Swan?

"Yes, sir."

"And there's no issue with the order for me correct? You and your commanding officer accept this signed order from Colonel Swan. The only issue is that there's no order for Private Whitlock."

"Correct, sir," he answered.

"Then we can be on our way. If you check this order from Colonel Swan dated today, you'll find his signature at the bottom. The signature matches the order for the medical supplies. Private Whitlock's name is on this written request from Colonel Swan."

The private stammered, but I moved in for the kill before he could say anything.

"Private, I'm sure Colonel Swan wouldn't be too happy if his car didn't make it back before dark and was damaged in a night raid. I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for that. Wouldn't you agree?"

"No, sir. I mean, yes, sir."

He thought for a second, no doubt considering the likely reprimand he would take from commanding officer vs. the hell he could get from Colonel Swan. Colonel Swan's reputation followed him across Brittan.

"Safe trip, sir," he said as he tapped Jasper's door.

Jasper didn't hesitate. The key clicked in the ignition, and the sedan roared to life. He drove off at a reasonable pace to avoid attention and then hit the gas once we were beyond the edge of the city. I took a deep breath and looked at my watch. It was five twenty. I pursed my lips. Even on a two hour pace, the last half hour of the trip was going to be in the dark.

"You need to fly, Jasper, just keep your eyes on the road."

I pulled open the duffel bag and got out some food for us.

We made it to Warmington when the sun fell behind the horizon. We still had another half hour to the trip. When dusk began to set, I pulled out the night goggles and handed a pair to Jasper. We were close; we just needed to stay on the road. Jasper and I both tensed as he slowed down to make out the faint shades of gray that distinguished the edge of the roadway from the brush that bordered the roadside.

"You look to the edge of the roadway, and I'll look out ahead for breaks in the road."

We sat silently and intently, both of us focusing on our tasks as we moved across the dark night. There were no lights or sounds to guide us. It made the night even more eerie as the road stretched before us.

I exhaled deeply when we finally saw the white building of the hospital before us. Jasper drove up to the circular drive and flew out of the driver's side, not bothering to shut the car door. He tore open my door and pulled the box from my hands. Before I could say anything, he was sprinting into the hospital with the box secured in his arms. I was stiff from the ride but scrambled as fast as I could manage up the steps and in through the glass doors.

Jasper was standing there panting, recovering from his flat out sprint.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"They went to mix the penicillin and the saline for the injections," he gasped.

"What did you tell them?"

"Exactly what Colonel Craig ordered; three hundred thousand units intravenously and two hundred thousand units injected directly into the chest muscle every three hours for twelve hours. Then after that just the intravenous amounts until you use it all up."

"Good," I said in relief.

"They told me to ask you to scrub up as best you can; they'll be waiting for you in her room. They said it would take a little time to mix up the injections. If you put your arm around me, I'll help you to get where you need to go faster," Jasper offered.

"Thank you. It's this way."

Jasper half threw me over his shoulder and dragged me down the hall to the elevator. Once we were in the scrub room, I found a set of clean clothes and shoes on the chairs across from the sinks. I stripped down, throwing everything on the floor, and pulled on the scalding hot water to wash my face arms and hands. I got dressed and noticed Jasper was still standing there with a helpless look upon his face as he watched me. I finished and went back to the sinks to scrub my fingers and arms up to my elbows three times each. When I was finished, I patted myself dry and grabbed a sterile gown.

"Jasper, I'll send someone to get you a place to sleep for the night."

"Don't worry about me, sir. I'll be fine."

I nodded, throwing the towel in the bin and pulling on the handle of the exit door. I turned back and smiled back at my friend.

"And, Jasper?"

"Yes, sir?"

The words caught in my throat. I was still hopeful.

"Thank you….for everything."

I turned and nearly ran through the door and down the hall to Bella's room.

I pushed through the door, not stopping to look at her through her window. Dr. Cullen and Nurse Platt were in full gowns and masks with their backs to me. They were leaning over a table beside Bella's bed. The room had the same smell of the infection, now mixed with rubbing alcohol. There was a bowl of it and a sponge beside her bed. Bella's right arm was tied to a board with her wrist facing up and her fingers lying curled and lifeless. A tube fed into a vein along her forearm.

Bella was lying perfectly flat, unlike when I had left. Her eyes were shut, and I watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest through her bed sheets. Just over her right shoulder was a huge green oxygen tank with gauges at the top. A black mask with straps and a long tube was attached to the top of the tank. I shuddered at the sight of it. My stare was broken when Nurse Platt turned to face Bella.

She placed the needle of a syringe of yellow fluid into the IV tube and waited for Dr. Cullen. He pulled down the sheets over Bella and untied the gown from behind Bella's neck. His skilled fingers traced along the ridge of muscle that lined her underarm searching for the thickest entry point in the muscle. He dabbed the site with alcohol and pulled the skin taut. When he was ready, he looked up to the far side of her room.

I followed their eyes as they looked at the clock to note the time. It was five after eight. Dr. Cullen nodded to his nurse, and she pushed the plunger to inject the penicillin into the IV. Dr Cullen curled his fingers around the glass syringe, jabbed it into Bella's muscle, and then shoved the plunger down with his thumb. He exhaled and shoulder seemed to droop in relief. After a brief pause he returned to his work. He stopped the bleeding at the injection site with cotton and taped it into place.

His eyes looked up from his efforts and met mine when he had finished. Carlisle seemed to read something in my expression. I don't know if it was fear, or worry, or hope that he saw there but he quickly crossed the room to talk to me.

"When will she wake up?" I asked.

"I don't know. The last morphine injection wore off two hours ago."

"She hasn't woken up?"

"No. The last time was before you left. Go over and talk to her," he said. "It will be good for her to hear the sound of your voice, even if she doesn't wake up. We'll be nearby if you need us."

I went to sit down in the chair by her right side. Nurse Platt repositioned the IV bottle above her head. I stared across Bella's bed at the necklace lying on the table. Nurse Platt turned and put her hand on my shoulder.

"She asked me to get your medal for her. She was holding it until she fell asleep from the morphine."

"Nurse Platt, why isn't she awake yet?"

"Edward, please call me Esme." She placed a hand on my shoulder, then turned to look adoringly at Bella. She sighed. "Her body is very tired from battling the infection."

I stared over at the tank and oxygen mask. Esme caught my stare.

"The oxygen is just a precaution, for now. If it looks like her breathing is becoming more labored, come get me. I'll be back to check on her in a little while."

"Okay." I called out. I didn't turn from Bella's face.

I heard the door close softly behind her.

I picked up Bella's hand gently and was startled by the heat of it. She was so hot; it was nearly painful to my touch. I ignored the heat, feeling only my love for her, and I kissed each of her fingers and down her wrist. I struggled with what to say.

"So, I have to tell you about Jasper." I grinned. "I showed him your picture and he nearly ran us off the road today. He asked how a guy like me wound up with a girl like you. I told him that I coerced you with my superior intelligence training and you succumbed to my will."

I watched her carefully, but she didn't move or react. There was only the rapid rise and fall of her chest. My heart sputtered.

"Hey, you promised to make me your slave, remember? I'm willing and we're alone…" I quipped.

There was nothing from her. The pain was far too close to my memories of Riley.

"Oh, come on, Bella! I need you to talk to me; I need you to fight back with me." My voice broke. "I just need you…_with me. _I tried to shake off my desperation.

"I have big plans for us." I said, wiping away a tear and trying to smile. "I want us to have a family. I want us to try again. I want to chase a few brown-eyed beauties around our backyard. I'll tell them all about the amazing woman their mother is. I'll tell them how you're fearless and smart and beautiful and kind. I want them to know how you uncovered Nazi missions before they could hurt our soldiers. I want them to know how you stole my heart the first time you smiled at me in Dagnaw. I want them to know how I'm hopelessly in love with you and how the thought of life without you is like being tied to a boat anchor sinking to the bottom of the sea."

I watched her, waiting desperately for a reaction. There was none.

Time ticked by slowly. Nurse Platt and Dr. Cullen came back to check on her and administer the next dose of penicillin. They listened to her lungs and debated quietly over the oxygen mask. After they left, I went from longing to determination.

"Bella, I need you. You promised to keep fighting. I need you to fight for me _now,_ damn it!"

I squeezed her hand harder, but she didn't respond. My panic set in and I began to beg her through my sobs.

"Please, Bella, don't give up. Not now, it's not time yet. I want those years with you; I want that life with you. I have no more breath in me without you."

I cradled her hand in mine and began stroking her arm.

I was awake for the next two injections, but Bella didn't wake up either time. Her breath continued to come too rapidly. More tears fell from my eyes as the panic hit me. I kissed her lips softly one last time just before they put the oxygen mask around her face.

I laid my head down on the edge of her bed, and I cried into her covers.

"Please, baby, _please_."

And in my head I cried louder. "_Please, God, please." _

The last thing I remembered was repeating that prayer over and over again.

_Please, God, please._

* * *

**The Last Breath ****Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter:** 8 - Flight

**

* * *

**

**Story reference: **Edward and Jasper drive down to the port of Southampton to pick up the penicillin for Bella. The 105th is shipping out that day.

**Historical Significance: **105th Evacuation Hospital in Bournemouth was pulling out for Valgones, France on September 22nd 1944. The men traveled on a British steamer called the S.S. Duke of Wellington.

Arrival in the ETO:

**Source:** http:/med-dept(dot)com/unit_histories/105_evac_hosp(dot)php

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Jasper race to Southampton to get the penicillin and return before sunset

**Historical Significance: **Projected sunset for London in September

**Source: **http:/www(dot)timeanddate(dot)com/worldclock/astronomy(dot)html?n=136&month=9&year=1990&obj=sun&afl=-11&day=1

* * *

**Story reference: **Colonel Allan Craig sizes up Edward before giving him the penicillin

**Historical Significance: **Colonel Craig was the CO of the 105th from May of 1944 to August of 1945.

**Source: **http:/med-dept(dot)com/unit_histories/105_evac_hosp(dot)php

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**Story reference: **Colonel Swan's message warns Edward of the bombings in Bristol and the danger to the Spitfire development in Southampton

**Historical Significance: **Bombings targeted for Bristol, GB on 9/25/1944 when Hitler sent orders to focus on the British Aircraft Industry

**Source: **http:/www(dot)century-of-flight(dot)net/Aviation%20history/WW2/bombing%20in%20the%20Bristol%20area(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Getting Colonel Swan's car out of the depot

**Historical Significance: **Confirms the name of the storage description of cars and vehicles around ETOUSA.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)ask(dot)com/bar?q=Where+were+cars+stored+at+ETOUSA&page=1&qsrc=0&ab=5&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww(dot)ibiblio(dot)org%2Fhyperwar%2FUSA%2FUSA-TS-OD-Beach%2FUSA-TS-OD-Beach-13(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Jasper put on night goggles to help them see on the drive back to Southampton

**Historical Significance: **Night vision did exist in WWII although the equipment wasn't nearly as sophisticated as what we know today.

**Source: **http:/home(dot)earthlink(dot)net/~robandpj/id14(dot)html

http:/www(dot)stumbleupon(dot)com/su/2qqgo5/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Night_vision_device

* * *

**Story reference:** Edward looks at the yellow fluid (Penicillin) that they're injecting into Bella

**Historical Significance: **Penicillin was produced in a yellow powder before being mixed in liquid form for intravenous injections.

**Source: **http:/forums(dot)army(dot)ca/forums/index(dot)php?topic=81967(dot)0

* * *

**Story reference: **Description of the oxygen tank and mask to help Bella breathe

**Historical Significance: **Picture of a WWII soldier being given oxygen.

**Source: **http:/history(dot)amedd(dot)army(dot)mil/booksdocs/wwii/thoracicsurgeryvolII/chapter5figure70b(dot)jpg

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**A/N**: Yes, I knew this would be a rough one at the end. First, let me say that there's a lot of really great real life history that helped me write this chapter. Second, I hate reading ff cliffhangers, so I promise I won't keep you dangling long. Third, unless 'a meteor falls on my head', chapter 9 will be posted on time next Friday. ; )

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think, - FB


	9. Chapter 9 Air

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with me after chapter eight and welcome to this week's new readers. Enjoy._**_  
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Air

My face felt cool. I pulled my shoulders in, struggling to think straight. My hair moved softly, and I took a deep breath. There were warm fingers at my face, and I winced from the ache in my side. I had slept hunched over again. I squinted while my eyes were still closed and heard a light sigh.

_Bella?_

I tried to blink. I could begin to see the sunlight dance across the walls of her room. Suddenly, I felt the gentle rustle of fingers moving through my hair and down my cheek. They were warm again. I gasped and pulled myself from my stupor. I forced myself to open my eyes. There was Bella's haggard but beautiful face, smiling back at mine.

"I'm sorry I woke you," she whispered. "I just needed to touch you."

I sat up straight as a board. My heart was in my throat, and I was breathing like I had just run a mile. I reached down and curled my arms around her, weeping uncontrollably into her chest. Bella ran her fingers gently through my hair.

"It's okay, Edward. I'm all right. You saved me."

I collapsed forward, my knees buckling beneath me. My heart swelled, and I hugged her fiercely.

In my head I prayed. _Thank you, God._

I couldn't control myself long enough to even think about letting go of her. I was too anxious. The only thing that made my heart feel whole was the beat of her heart against mine as I held her. The feel of her soft, warm body against my pounding heart healed the ache that had ripped through me last night. She was still strapped to the IVs and couldn't even get her arms around me.

She just touched my head, and I was whole again.

I stayed there just sobbing against her chest. I kissed every part of her over and over until I reached her face and her lips. She smiled.

"Easy." She grinned. "I haven't figured out how to bolt the door yet."

"They can watch for all I care. God, Bella, do you have any idea what this has done to me? I just can't..."

She pulled her left arm up to touch my face and rubbed my cheek.

"Kiss me," she said. "I'm warm, I'm soft and I'm still here with you. It's going to be okay."

I leaned forward and kissed her lips. It was as if I'd been released from the anchor. She was my air allowing me to breathe again.

I finally let go of her lips long enough to look at her. I held her face gently with both hands, shaking my head in disbelief. She really was going to be okay. She was still very frail and warm but not searing in the heat of the infection. The light in her eyes was stronger. Her breathing was back to its normal rhythm. The sheen of sweat on her temples and covering her neck told me that her fever had broken.

"What time is it?" I asked looking for the clock. "When did you wake up?"

"It's almost nine. I think I woke up about an hour ago. Esme was here. She took off that awful mask and told me how you and Jasper made it here with the penicillin. She looked almost as relieved as you do."

"Has Dr. Cullen been in to see you yet?" I wouldn't feel at ease until he examined her.

"Not yet, Esme went to get him."

"An hour ago? I'll go get him now."

"No you won't." She tried to muster a demand, but her voice was still very weak. "You owe me at least two days; actually, I think you promised me a lot more than that."

"Every night," I said, smiling at her. "Bella, I'll feel better after he examines you."

"Edward, trust me, this is the best I've felt in quite a long time."

"Me too," I smiled contentedly.

I felt a rush of air from the door of Bella's room. Spinning around, I saw Dr. Cullen and Nurse Platt dash through the door and into the room. Dr. Cullen looked like he had gotten less sleep than even I had. He went right to Bella's side and pulled out his stethoscope. Nurse Platt stayed at the edge of Bella's bed and smiled complacently at Bella's obvious recovery. Dr. Cullen examined Bella thoroughly. I held her as Dr. Cullen positioned the stethoscope along her back and listened to her lungs. My immeasurable relief came when he pulled Bella slightly away from my arms to hug her himself. His smile of satisfaction was all the diagnosis I needed.

"Bella, the fever is broken; your breathing is back to normal. Your pulse rate and blood pressure are good. How do you feel?" he asked.

"Happy," she said triumphantly.

"So are we," he answered looking up at me and Esme. "I've been doing research in the basement to look for other ways to help you. I'm glad you're doing better without them. We'll keep up the remaining doses of penicillin, of course, but we should be able to get that second IV out of you later this morning."

I sighed with relief. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen."

"Carlisle," he answered. "Please, Edward, call me Carlisle. And no thanks are necessary." He reached forward to gently cup Bella's cheek. "This smile is all the thanks I need." He shook his head and smiled again in relief.

"Edward," Carlisle called a moment later, after pulling himself back from Bella. "Jasper has been looking for you."

"Can I meet him?" Bella asked. "I want to thank him in person."

I frowned a little. Esme caught my expression and had the same reaction.

"If he's willing to be sterilized," she said. "In fact, Edward, Lord knows what you picked up yourself on that trip to Southampton. Let's get you something to eat. We'll change your dressing and then you and Jasper can come back to see Bella. She needs to rest anyway."

I didn't like the idea of leaving her, even if it was just for a short while, but Esme was right. I needed to get cleaned up, and I owed it to Jasper to be the one to tell him about Bella's recovery.

"What dressing?" Bella asked, both annoyed and seemingly a bit anxious.

"Edward had surgery two weeks ago to remove shrapnel from his side. The stitches are still healing."

I grimaced when Carlisle gave me away. Bella wasn't going to be happy that I wasn't completely transparent about the injuries I sustained in Marigny.

"I'm going to take that as my cue to leave and get cleaned up. I'll be back as soon as I can, love."

"I'll be waiting," she said.

Her voice was filled with both longing and frustration at the same time. I just hoped that Jasper would be willing to come see her. It would probably distract her from returning to the subject of my surgery, at least for a little while.

I found Jasper pacing outside of Carlisle's office. My face said everything. His smile met mine as he caught my eyes.

"She's okay? It worked?" he asked.

"She's better than okay. She's amazing."

I hugged him in relief, slapping his back in gratitude.

"Jasper, thank you."

"I'm just glad she's okay."

"It was touch-and-go through the night, but she's okay now. I guess the penicillin just needed some time to work. She asked to see you."

"She did?"

I nodded. "She wants to thank you herself."

"Let's go," he said eagerly.

"First things first, we need to get something to eat and then we both need to get cleaned up. Bella's system is very weak, and the doctors take precautions to keep her room completely sterilized. It's not pleasant, but if you want to see her, it's the only way."

"Lead the way."

We got a bite to eat, and I tried to warn Jasper about the lye bath before we got to the third floor. Jasper was more than willing to take the plunge.

"Jasper, it's a lye bath. It will sting your skin worse than anything you can imagine. I'll understand if you don't want to do it."

Jasper laughed. "If she looks anything in person like she looks in that photo, I think I'll take the pain."

I shook my head, knowing she was even better. When I climbed into the tub, it was every bit as painful as the first time. After breaking the surface, I heard Jasper's shouts of obscenities. They mirrored the ones in my head. We were immediately doused in clean water, but the coolness of the aloe vera didn't sink in until after we were dressed and on our way to Bella's room.

"I'm glad you didn't tell me about that before I got in the tub. I might have chickened out," he said.

I snickered a bit and then peeked into the window of Bella's room. She was awake and rubbing her thumb over my medal. She caught my face when I appeared at the window and returned a smile that stopped me cold. Jasper was right; how was I lucky enough to have her?

I went to her side and kissed her softly. She still looked exhausted, but she didn't feel feverish nor seem to be in pain. I turned around to see Jasper standing a few feet behind me. Bella caught my glance and followed my eyes up to Jasper's. Her smile was blinding. Jasper staggered back a step and looked up to return her grin with wide eyes.

_ Poor Jasper,_ _Bella's smile could stop a train_.

"You must be Jasper," she said.

"And you must be the reason Edward's the luckiest man alive."

She smiled, a little embarrassed. Jasper's own face was a little red when he realized what he'd just said. My shoulders shook slightly as I tried to keep from laughing at both of them. Since I was unable to speak without incriminating myself, I kissed Bella's hand and laid it back down on her bed. I got up so that Jasper could sit beside her. As I turned, I gave Jasper a little bit of warning in my glance. I was glad I couldn't read his mind; his face alone was enough to raise a twinge of jealousy in me. He shouldn't have been thinking lustful thoughts about another man's wife.

I crossed to the back of the room where Esme was standing. She leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"She had a dose of morphine a little over an hour ago. Dr. Cullen wants to cut the dosage a bit to see how her pain tolerance is today. We don't want her to get overly anxious though. It will take time to wean her off of the medicine. I'm ready with more when she needs it."

I looked over at the clock. It was almost eleven. I knew that was when Bella would receive her next dose of penicillin.

"Jasper, I don't know how I can thank you," Bella said. "Not just for helping Edward get the penicillin but for risking your life to bring it back here. Most of all I need to thank you for keeping him safe for me."

"We make a good team." Jasper smiled. "But I don't think Colonel Swan will be calling him back any time soon. He still needs to heal up."

I grimaced. Jasper's comment was going to get me into trouble. Bella looked up at me with a measure of suspicion in her eyes. Yes, she was thinking I was in trouble too. She held my eyes for a second and then returned to Jasper.

"Oh, Colonel Swan," she said. "Please tell him thank you for me."

Minutes later, Esme walked forward to pick up the syringe of yellow liquid lying on the table next to Bella's bed. She lined up the needle and then injected it into the tube leading into Bella's arm.

"So that's the stuff?" Jasper commented.

Bella just nodded in reply.

"I'm glad it's helping you, but it smells like old hay."

She laughed a little, and I could see that the pain was overcoming her movements. I stepped forward and put my hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"We'd better go so that she can rest."

Bella offered Jasper her hand as he stood. Jasper took it her small hand in both of his and began to gently rub the back it with his thumb.

"Thank you, Jasper," she said earnestly, "for everything."

"Just get better and keep him out of trouble," he replied.

We left Bella's room, and I watched as Jasper shook his head grinning. I walked him through the lobby and back out to Colonel Swan's car. Jasper lowered his bag into the trunk of the heavy sedan, and I shut the lid for him. I reached over and hugged him fiercely. So much gratitude was coursing through me today. It was coupled with so much relief.

"Jasper, she's right. We can never thank you enough for what you've done to help us."

Jasper's face lit up, and a smirk appeared across his face.

"Does she have a twin? A close cousin maybe?"

"Sorry buddy," I grinned. "She's one of a kind."

"I'd like to come back to visit you if Colonel Swan ever lets me off on a furlough," he said.

"Please do, and tell Colonel Swan I said thank you too."

I wasn't over my grudge. I was still infuriated with him for putting her in this mess in the first place, but I had enough sense to know that without his influence she wouldn't be alive right now.

Jasper got into the car. I walked around to the driver's side door and leaned in to get right in his face.

"Be safe, Jasper. Not a request, an order."

Jasper smiled and put his foot to the floor. The sedan's engine roared, and the gravel spun out beneath its tires.

"Yes, sir," he called out as he drove off. "Hopefully I'll finally get some action out of Colonel Swan now!"

I smiled to myself. Unfortunately, I knew Jasper was all too close to getting his wish.

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**The Last Breath**

**Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: **9**  
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**Title: **Air**  
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**Story reference: **Jasper looks at the yellow fluid (Penicillin) they're injecting into Bella

**Historical Significance: **It was said that the yellow powder penicillin drug smelt like old hay (cited in the book Women Who Went to War by Eric Taylor).

**Source: **Penicillin use in World War II: (dot)ca/forums/index(dot)php?topic=81967(dot)

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A/N: I can't help but love on Jasper a bit. He's really likable in this story. Our young hero will be absent for a few chapters but but he and his heroism will be back down the road.

I hope you've enjoyed chapter nine. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

First Blush


	10. Chapter 10 Confession

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann, Jess and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_A/N: This chapter focuses more on Edward and Bella's relationship prior to his departure for the front. Enjoy._**_  
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Confession

"Am I missing anything?" I asked.

Esme was stuffing some glasses into a cloth lined basket. She turned and handed me a small metal box about the size of a quarter.

"This is a small dose of morphine. If she's in too much pain to have you wheel her back to the room, it will kick in after fifteen minutes. She probably won't need it, but you'll have it just in case."

I smiled at Esme, appreciating her thoroughness. Aside from me, no one else cared more about Bella's recovery than Esme Platt.

"Do you have a pair of scissors?" I asked.

"What do you want them for?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know. Plausible deniability," I said with a grin.

I grabbed the blanket off of the table and the scissors from her hand, then turned and headed out to the grounds. There was a spot that was just a few yards from the walking path behind the hospital that seemed to be the perfect place for our picnic. The early afternoon sun kissed the fallen leaves that dotted the path I traced to reach my destination. The warm quilt I had carried with me flew out from my fingertips and fluttered the fallen leaves lying beneath the black walnut tree. I straightened the edges of the quilt and dusted off a few sparse leaves that floated down to our pallet. Once my preparations were finished, I snuck around to the edge of the East lawn and snatched the scissors from my back pocket. My eyes glanced around, looking for anyone who may be around to witness my vandalism. I quickly clipped off the remaining white English roses from the bush beside the chief of staff's window. With a chuckle and a lighthearted skip in my step, I dashed back to the kitchen. Esme looked puzzled when she saw my guilty shrug and smug half grin. Her eyes swept over me and suddenly her expression became horrified when she recognized the flowers that were clutched in my left hand.

"You clipped the last roses from under his window!" she asked incredulously. "You're right; I dodn't want to be involved in that!"

I gave her a sheepish sigh in response. "They were the same ones Bella carried in her bridal bouquet."

Esme's eyes softened, and I shrugged.

"Did she ever tell you that I proposed to her while on a picnic?"

"No," Esme answered. She appeared anxious to hear the story but dropped her eyes. I assumed it was because she didn't want to pry.

"I'll tell you about it, if you'd like."

She nodded enthusiastically.

"You know that Bella worked with British Intelligence, right?"

"Yes."

"We were assigned to work together to deliver intelligence information. Our cover was for her and her "younger brother," Seth, to visit their grandparents each month. I was their chauffeur. Our first mission together was an absolute disaster. We were all nearly killed. I was injured, and Bella spent the night nursing my wounds."

"The one in your chest muscle?" she asked.

"Yes." I nodded."That was the beginning of everything for us."

I felt my lips curl into a smile as I remembered falling asleep with Bella at my bedside. She nursed my wound that night but healed me in a way I hadn't thought possible. She held my hand comfortingly in hers, and every so often, she would run her fingers lightly through my hair. I remembered her telling me that everything would be okay and that she would stay with me. Her words stayed with me long after exhaustion took me that night. As I dozed, I heard her whisper, _"You don't have to be brave all on your own, Edward. I'll hold you up. You can lean on me; I won't let you fall." _Unfortunately the intimacy of that night was short lived.

_Bella and I had to be very careful when we were together in London. If anyone discovered that we had feelings for one another, we wouldn't be allowed to ever work together again. It felt nearly impossible to hide my emotions; I was absolutely crazy about her. After our disastrous first mission to Hanslope Park, I wasn't able to be alone with her until the next delivery in June. Fortunately, the mission went smoothly. Once we delivered the Packard, we stayed at the summer home of her paternal "grandparents," Mr. and Mrs. Liam Callaghan. _

_The Callaghan's home was called Rectory Farm. We arrived there on Friday evening. Despite the façade of indifference that Bella and I had crafted, it didn't take Mrs. Callaghan long to uncover our affections. _

_Siobhan Callaghan is a wonderful woman with a shrewd Scottish intuition. She recognized the look of longing in my eyes when I allowed myself to glance at Bella. She noticed the small ways we brushed against one another and how I would find any opportunity to have a few seconds alone with her. By the time of the evening meal on Saturday, she hatched a plan to bring us closer together. _

"_Bella, dear," she said. "I think a girl of your supposed age should be seen at church on Sunday. I'll be needin' a number of items from the market. After services you could be seen there shopping for me. I'm thinkin' it'll be the best way to keep your cover, aye?" _

_I noticed a silent huff from Seth as he rolled his eyes. The idea of spending the morning at church and the afternoon shopping with his "sister" was apparently quite unappealing._

"_Dinna worry, Seth," Siobhan cajoled after noticing the same thing I had. "You'll be spending the day with your grandsire. Liam could use your help keepin' up this place, and I imagine you'd prefer that over church services and shopping, aye?"_

_Seth nodded and sighed in relief, but my shoulders slumped. I didn't like the idea of losing a whole day with Bella. The plan had been to drive back to London with Seth on Monday, and once we were back, there wouldn't likely be another opportunity for us to be alone for some time. _

_Siobhan apparently caught the melancholy look I was trying to conceal and quickly turned to finish her thought._

"_Edward, you'll be drivin' Bella tomorrow. You'll keep her from harm and act as her chauffeur."_

_I tried to keep myself in my seat at the table. In my head, I was bouncing around the room at the idea of an entire day with Bella with no interruptions. I heard Bella's fork drop against her dinner plate, but I wouldn't allow myself to even glance in her direction. A huge grin would have undoubtedly plastered itself across my face, and that would have given us both away._

_I was up early on Saturday morning. I went down to have breakfast and found Siobhan in the pantry packing a basket. She gave me a brilliant smile and motioned for me to join her. _

"_Edward, I may be an old married woman, but I'm no blind, aye? I can see your affections for Bella and hers for you." _

_My breath quickened; I wanted to deny it. I didn't want Bella and me to be torn apart. If Colonel Swan found out, I would never see her again. Before I could get a word out to respond, Siobhan read the anxiety in my expression. She placed her hand on top of mine and patted it softly. _

"_Dinna worry yourself, child; I'm not gonna give you away. On the contrary, moi ghille, I'm gonna help you."_

_I looked up at her and furrowed my brow in disbelief. _

"_Ah, Edward, it's been a long time since I've seen a couple that looks at one other with so much longin'. You'll be glad that Liam and Seth are saft in the heid to see it." _

_I let out a sigh and gave her an appreciative smile of relief. _

"_Edward, there's a map in the basket. It will lead ye to St. James the Great for services this morning. From there I'll be needin' ye to go a town over to Warwickshire. I'll make up an excuse for Liam about needin' an ingredient for dinner only found there. My good friends own an old vicarage there. Maggie will be takin' her husband out for the day; you'll be completely alone, aye?"_

_I was practically giddy. A whole day with Bella…alone. _

"_Liam will be expectin' ye to bring home somethin' from the market." Siobhan called over her shoulder breaking me from a daydream of a full day with Bella. "So Maggie will leave ye a bag of groceries to bring home. You'll have the afternoon all to yourselves." _

_I couldn't be happier. I turned and gave Siobhan a kiss on the cheek and squeezed her around the shoulders. _

"_Thank you," I whispered simply into her ear._

"_Enjoy yourselves, and make the most of it, Edward. Life is short; I'm certain ye can bloody well see that! Trust an old woman when I tell you that the war steals time away when we're not lookin'. Make the most of the day, ye hear?" Siobhan paused to take a deep breath. Her eyes glazed over for a moment, then she suddenly broke her trance and seemed to push away an unhappy memory. She turned to look at me with hope in her eyes. After a moment, she gently cupped my cheek and simply said, "Be happy, moi ghille." _

_I grabbed the basket and a blanket and stowed them below the front seat, hoping Bella wouldn't see them. After breakfast, we headed out to the car. I opened the door for her, and she slid into the back seat. Her eyes met mine, and a brilliant smile flashed across her face. She wore a flowered dress that clung to her curves. Gloves and pearls adorned her gracefully. She looked so lovely, but beyond her physical beauty, I was captivated by that smile on her face. It stopped me in my tracks. She was positively beaming with excitement. _

_I sat behind the wheel with the map to my left. My eyes caught a glimpse of Bella in the rear view mirror, and I shook with pleasure at the thought of an entire day alone with her. The engine roared to life beneath my fingertips. I couldn't tell if the shaking was my own excitement or the vibrations from the engine. My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as we made our way along the winding roads to the church. _

_Even without a map, the church of Saint James the Great would have been hard to miss. The spire rose as a colossal tower, several hundred feet into the air. The sight apparently stunned Bella as the stone structure came into view. I heard her breath catch, and the sentiment matched my own thoughts. The beauty of the gothic architecture was truly overwhelming. St. James had stood in this spot for nearly eight hundred years dating back to the eleventh century. We stood side by side staring in awe at the massive stone building. The delicately carved architecture caught as much of our attention as the enormous spire. _

_I nodded to Bella as she stepped onto the stone path. Silently, I followed her in through the peaked point of the main entrance. Bella's heels clicked loudly along the stone floor. She immediately lightened her steps as if she was embarrassed by the noise that announced her entrance. She sat in a pew a few rows from the back. I chose to take the pew behind Bella and knelt down to pray. My folded hands were laid on the back of her pew, discretely brushing the skin between her shoulder blades. I heard her sigh softly and bowed my head. My nose was merely a few inches from her hair. The light fragrance of her perfume wafted around me, drawing my head down closer to take in more of the intoxicating scent. _

_My voice was barely above a whisper as I prayed, "Thank you for this day." _

_Bella heard my prayer and bowed her head to answer, "It's only just begun and it's already the best day I've had since I met you. I wish you could sit beside me." _

_Bella clenched her hands into fists before releasing them to fold them loosely in her lap. I longed to touch her too. Instead, I settled for another deep breath to draw in her fragrance. With regret, I unfolded my hands to return to my seat. I placed my left hand on the pew in front of me and allowed a few of my fingers to gently brush along her right shoulder before settling into my seat. Bella shivered slightly at my touch. _

_The service progressed in much the same way. There was a tension between us that felt like the strength of a hundred magnets under our skin. Each of them was drawing us to one another. It was pure agony. After being unable to touch her this past month, my restraint was finally waning. At the end of the mass, I picked up my hat and gestured with a debonair sweep of my arm toward the back of the church. Bella smiled graciously at me then looked up, following the path of my sweeping gesture. She was taking in the beauty of the church and it's stained glass windows. After a few minutes of her approving gaze, she slowly strolled toward the door. By now there were only a few people left in the church. _

"_Do you like it?" she asked under her breath. _

"_Yes, of course I do. It reminds me of photos of my parent's wedding, but it pales in comparison to you," I answered coyly. "Did I tell you how lovely you look today?"_

_Bella simply blushed then turned and quickly headed toward the door. We needed to depart quickly before her smile or any more of our conversation could blow our cover. I held open the door and squinted into the sun. Then, I heard a small sigh escape from Bella. I turned in the direction of her stare to see a young bride being pulled from a shiny, silver car. She was quite lovely. Her gown and flowers were both striking, but it was the smile of boundless joy that made me smile in return. _

_I led Bella to the car and closed the door gently behind her. The bride's father was now guiding her by the hand toward the church. In turn, I began imagining Bella in a beautiful white gown walking down the aisle to meet me. I shook my head at the absurdity of the idea. I loved Bella, that much I knew for sure, but the army, the war, the impossibility of being married and keeping it a secret all weighed against the beautiful daydream I imagined in my mind. I drove absently down the road which passed the village square, not stopping or pausing to turn. Bella looked up from her own gaze through her window. By the time she realized I had missed the turn to take us to market, it became obvious that it hadn't been an accident. _

"_Aren't we going to the market for Siobhan?" she asked. _

"_We're definitely going on an errand for Siobhan. It just isn't to the market." _

_By now we reached the end of the road and turned right. _

"_The last time you took us off our planned course, it ended rather badly," she mused. _

"_All right," I replied. "Enough teasing. I promise no harm will come to you today. Not unless you count my deplorable intentions never to let you out of my arms."_

_I grinned at the thought running through my head. Apparently Bella had enough of sitting in the backseat alone. She startled me by climbing over the seat to reach me. The edge of her dress flitted over my shoulder. _

"_Oh," she said as she saw the lump underneath her new seat beside me. She formed a question with the expression of soft wonder in her eyes. _

"_That's lunch," I said. "It's from Siobhan. She's giving us the day together, alone and away from town. We're going to an old vicarage for the day. The owners are Siobhan's good friends who have invited us to have a picnic lunch on their grounds. They'll be gone for the whole day." _

_Bella's eyes grew wide with enthusiasm. _

"_You don't mind do you? I mean, it was a surprise but perhaps I should have asked if that's what you wanted first." _

"_I couldn't want anything more, Edward." She smiled. _

_I reached out my arm and wrapped it around her waist drawing her close to my side. She laid her head on my chest, and I curled my fingers around her shoulder to hug her closer into my chest. I leaned down, never taking my eyes off the road and kissed her head softly. _

"_Now I know why you were thanking God for the day," she said. "You were right; it is a gift to be thankful for."_

_After about an hour, we reached the vicarage. I pulled the car into the carriage house and cut the engine. Then turned to Bella and grabbed her hand, lacing her fingers in mine. She smiled and reached up with her free hand to touch my face. My heart leapt inside my chest. I leaned my head closer to hers until our foreheads touched. _

_I closed my eyes. "I've been waiting for so long to be this close to you." _

_I let go of her hand and reached up with both of mine to gently rub my fingers into the back of her neck. She exhaled deeply and inched up her chin so that her lips were nearly touching mine. She didn't pause for long. She pulled me toward her with the gentle motioning of her chin and softly placed her lips on mine. Our kiss was soft and slow at first, but it quickly flamed the passions that were stoking inside us. Eventually I found the strength to pull back from her lips. I opened the car door and took her hand to glide her gently off the seat. She was a little stunned; we were both still breathing hard. _

"_Come on," I said with an embarrassingly shaky, high voice. "Let's go enjoy our lunch." _

_I fluffed out the quilt behind a set of magnolia trees. We ate and talked and laughed. Her smile continued to stun me. It felt as though a jolt was being sent right through my heart. _

_Finally when our meal was finished, I picked up her hand to lead her on a walk. It was wonderful to feel her so close to me. _

"_How long do we have?" she asked. _

"_Not long enough." I sighed. "But probably another hour or two." _

_She paused and walked over to a huge maple tree. She pressed her back to the bark and drew my arms around her waist. She looked up at me and pulled her hands along my shoulders and down my arms. I couldn't stop myself. I leaned in feverously to her lips, grabbing her behind her head and around her waist. Our passions flared again. I couldn't find the words to express how much I loved her. Although my longing for her was being quenched for the moment, I knew I would have to go back to staying a careful distance from her once we left for Hanslope. _

_It was too much. The idea of pretending not to love her, not to desire her; it tortured me. My hand rubbed along her back drawing the breath from her and taking it in as my own. Her breath was filling me with desire…and longing….and life! _

_The words that Siobhan spoke to me that morning came rushing back in a flurry of thoughts. "Life is short; I'm certain ye can bloody well see that! …Make the most of the day, ye hear?"_

_Suddenly I pulled myself away from Bella's embrace. We were both breathing hard, and she looked with longing and confusion into my unfocused eyes. I tried to slow down and form my thoughts, but the words came out so quickly; I wasn't able to control them. _

"_Bella, I know this is impulsive and rash and crazy, but I love you." I shook my head knowing the absurdity of the words was pouring out of me. It was too soon. Yet at the same time I knew that didn't matter. Time would only make the feelings grow stronger. I looked deep into Bella's eyes and laid my heart out before her. "I've loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. There will never be another woman for me. You've touched my heart like no one else ever will. You give me the air I need to breathe….please, Bella, marry me." _

_She stepped back stunned but never let go of my hand. She gasped and pulled her hand to her chest. Her mouth fell open slightly, and she stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. Then her lips tightened and spread into a blinding smile. Her eyes flashed as she pulled her arms around my neck and crushed herself into me. She grabbed me behind the neck with one of her hands and pressed her cheek into mine. Her chin tilted up slightly as she whispered into my ear, "Yes, I will marry you. I am yours….forever."_

Esme stared at me with wide eyes waiting for more. I think she realized the eagerness in her expression and carefully restrained the smile spreading across her face.

"You'd better get going," she said.

I laughed.

"You're probably right."

I walked down the hall and into Bella's room. The basket was swinging in my hand. Bella was sitting on her bed struggling to get into her new leg brace. The laces were stretched, and she was trying to glide her foot past the angle where her heel would finally rest. She looked up at me in frustration and sighed drooping her head in dejection.

"Let me help you, _please?_" I asked.

I knew she wanted to do this on her own. She wanted to be independent again. I, on the other hand, didn't want to see her struggle painfully just to prove a point. She sighed heavily and pulled her shoulders down in a huff.

"Fine," she answered in defeat.

I dropped the basket and went to sit on her bed. I gently lifted her calf as Dr. Cullen had shown me and spread the leather brace with my other hand. Her leg slid into place. I pulled the laces gently and secured her buckles. The braces protected her new skin and strengthened the atrophied muscles during physical therapy. Bella wasn't ready to walk on her own, but she could stand for a few seconds unassisted. She was very determined to be as self sufficient as she was before the accident.

Bella recovered slowly but steadily after receiving the penicillin. Carlisle carefully watched her for signs of recurring infection. I, on the other hand, watched how she dealt with the pain. I could read her face better than any medical device Carlisle threw at her. It had always been that way for us. We knew each other down to the core.

Weeks passed as they weaned her from the morphine, during that time I watched Bella's frail body resurrect itself. She pushed herself so hard, never wanting to admit the slightest weakness. She asked the impossible of me. How could I ever sit back and watch her in pain? It felt as if each painful movement to reclaim herself was a vice squeezing my own heart. Bella saw it. Reading each other's thoughts was never the problem for us. She pushed, I pulled back, and Carlisle, largely ignoring both of us, walked a steady pace. Bella was like a tightrope walker waiting for the roar of the circus crowd when she reached the other side. The rope was her pain, I was her safety net, and Carlisle was the pole that balanced her. I could no more keep her from walking that rope then I could halt the rising sun. I could just do my best to be there and always catch her should ever she fall.

"There," I said. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" she asked, eyeing the basket by the door.

"I'm springing you from this dreary room, _finally_. Dr. Cullen gave me the okay to take you on a picnic."

I looked at her tightening my jaw to keep a frail line of composure on my face. It didn't work for long. Despite my efforts, I was grinning from ear to ear at her. I broke into a snicker, and she swung her arms around me.

"Let's go," she said. "Quickly, before Mike comes to find me for another round of physical therapy."

"You're all mine today," I replied.

I slid off the bed and grabbed her gently under her legs and behind her back. I lifted her off the bed and into the wheelchair at the end of the room. I pushed her forward and grabbed the basket with my free hand. I struggled with grabbing the door, the basket and the wheelchair all at the same time.

"Give me the basket, Edward. I'm not an invalid."

She coughed a bit realizing the irony of her statement, making me laugh in reply. I gauged the weight of the basket and shook my head.

"I can manage."

"Edward. If you don't quit treating me like I'm a glass doll, I'm going to make things very difficult for you."

She turned around to give me a wicked grin. I measured the weight of the basket once more and sighed, placing it gently on her lap.

"You'll tell me if anything hurts, right?"

"Of course, let's go." She waved me off dismissively.

We reached the edge of the paved road, and I stopped to take the basket from her arms sitting it beside her chair. Bella reached up and encircled her arms around my neck as I hoisted her from her chair. I carried her up the gentle hill to the quilt I laid out, then lowered her gently to the ground. A few more golden leaves from the walnut tree had dotted the quilt in my absence. The sunlight had reached high overhead and streamed through the tree's massive limbs. The air was warm, but the smell of fall was in the air. The leaves crinkled beneath my steps as I went back for the basket beside Bella's chair. I closed my eyes, reveling in the calming scents and the warm sunlight on my face. It had been so long since Bella and I enjoyed an afternoon alone together. A smile crossed my face as I strolled back toward Bella, remembering the passion of our picnics at the old vicarage. I was just a few feet from Bella when she caught my expression.

"I've seen that look before," she gleamed.

She took a deep breath filling her lungs with the scents around her. She looked up at me with longing. I thought I saw a different emotion in her eyes, sadness maybe?

"Are you ok? Are you hurting?"

Bella quickly caught the effect her expression had on me and reached out her hand toward mine.

"I'm just glad we're together again. Let's see what you brought us for lunch."

Bella's diversion tactics worked better than mine. I didn't press her just then; I was too anxious for her to open the basket. I placed it in front of her and lay down by her side. My arm wound its way around her to make sure she stayed warm against the October chill. _October. _I shook my head at the realization of how quickly the last six weeks had passed by

"Oh, Edward." Bella sighed.

She had opened the basket to find the white English roses I clipped for her. Her delicate fingers clutched them tenderly to her chest. Bella's brown waves fell forward as she tilted her head to enjoy their fragrance.

"Where did you ever find them?"

I shrugged sheepishly, knowing she really didn't want to know. I reached into the basket and pulled out the wine followed by the bread and cheese.

After we finished, I leaned back and pulled my hands behind my head. I stared up into the bright golden leaves and watched the sunlight flicker through them as they danced in the gentle breezes. It was wonderful just to be able to get out of the hospital. We spent the last month working on Bella's muscles and weaning her off the morphine. Her strength was returning. Carlisle and Esme were both confident that she would be well enough to go home soon.

Bella pulled herself beside me and played gently with my hair. I sighed in contentment and pulled one of her hands down to kiss her palm. She smiled gently and stroked my cheek. The same look of sadness I noticed earlier was in her eyes. It wasn't physical pain; it ran deeper.

"What is it, love? Why do you look sad?"

Bella paused. She was debating whether or not to tell me what was troubling her. Her face reminded me of the night in Hanslope Park when she asked me about Riley. She had the same look of apprehension, as if she was worried about…_me._

"Please, Bella," I said growing more anxious.

She exhaled dropping her shoulders abruptly. She wouldn't look at me which made me all the more concerned now.

Bella's words came quickly. It was as if she knew that slowing down would make her change her mind.

"Esme said you had a really rough go of it the night you and Jasper brought me the penicillin. She was obviously worried about me too that night. She wanted to give you some time alone with me but didn't want to go too far. She said she spent most of the night on a chair right outside my room."

Bella paused for just a second but didn't lift her eyes to mine.

"She said that although she wasn't trying to eavesdrop, she overheard a lot of the things you said to me that night. She thought they were things I would want to know. She wouldn't tell me what they were. She said I should ask you."

I sat up and tried to make her eyes meet mine. She was still peering down at her hands. I moved closer to her, placing my elbow on my knee, and leaned forward so that I was within inches of her face. I closed my eyes and flexed my jaw. An unnerving pain flushed through my chest, and I shivered. I was already reliving my words to her that night. The anxiety was still there just barely numbed by time. I had to repeat the words in my head. _She's okay, she's okay. She's here, she's alive._ The mantra played over and over in my head. I needed to convince myself that the terror was only real in my memories. My breath quickened. Bella's eyes finally met mine. She saw what this was doing to me and was immediately remorseful.

"Edward, are you okay?"

I nodded and placed my left hand around the back of her neck. Bella leaned forward, wrapping her arms around me as I gently kissed her forehead gently.

"Esme's right." I sighed. "You should know what I said. It's just very hard for me to talk about. Reliving the thoughts I had that night and my fear of losing you… Bella, it takes all of the air out of me. It felt like I was drowning, and I couldn't find my way back to the surface."

I held my breath for a second and then blew it out slowly taking the time I needed to push past the fear that was now behind us. I steadied myself, and Bella nodded against my forehead encouraging me to wait until I was ready.

"When they gave you the first injections of penicillin that night, Carlisle told me to go over and talk to you. He wanted you to hear my voice. At first I tried to make jokes. I told you about the trip with Jasper and how he nearly ran us off the road when he saw your photo."

I smiled a bit at that one, her eyes just widened when she pulled back to stare into mine.

"But you didn't move or respond to my voice, and I was terrified. Then, I became demanding. I told you to fight. I told you to fight for me, to fight for our future together. Still you didn't respond. You were so still," I whispered.

"I thought that maybe if you knew about the plans I had for us, for our future, it would help you fight. Deep down, I just needed you to know how my whole future revolved around us being together. I told you that I wanted a family with you, that I wanted to try again. I told you that I wanted to chase a few beautiful brown eyed girls around our backyard some day. I begged you to stay and have them with me. I saw them in my mind and wanted them to know how smart, and beautiful, and brave, and kind you are. I wanted them to know how you thwarted Nazi missions. Most of all, I wanted them to know how desperately in love with you I am and will always be."

"You didn't move; you only got worse, despite the hours and more penicillin."

I stopped in fear of reliving the last memory I had of that horrible night.

"Then they needed to put the oxygen mask around you. I kissed your lips knowing that it would probably be the last time. The last time I would feel your breath on my face, the last time I would be able to hold you warm and soft in my arms."

I was crying now. I couldn't stop. I knew she was here and alive but the memory was too strong for me.

"I wasn't ready to give up." I sobbed clutching her warm body against mine. The final words came out muffled as I broke apart in front of her. "I wasn't ready to acknowledge that these would be your last breaths. I just put my head down and begged you to stay with me. And I prayed, as long and as hard as I could."

I took a deep, staggered breath. Bella tightened her hold around me. She began to rock me, soothing me with her words.

"I'm here, Edward. I'm here, baby. It's alright, now."

I clung to her crushing her chest against mine knowing that our hearts beating against one another would help heal the pain of my memories.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Bella cried. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

She kissed me softly along my neck. I pulled back from her to see the tears in her eyes. I lifted her face to mine letting all of my fears unwind in our embrace. We pulled at one another tangling lips and grasping hands, trying to devour one another's pain. Our breathing came out in rapid gasps. I couldn't stop drawing at her lips frantically. I wasn't thinking of anything but her and how she managed to _hear_ my pleas and survive for me.

"Edward," she rasped when we broke our embrace.

"Edward, I want that too. I want all of it. I want a family with you. I want to try again."

She let out a painful gasp. I looked at her, abashed at how aggressive I had been moments ago. I should have stopped, realizing how frail and fragile she still was.

"For now, Bella, I just want you. I want you healthy and strong. When you're ready, we'll go home and talk to the doctors about trying again."

I brushed her long, brown waves behind her shoulder. She looked away again, a different set of thoughts were running through her mind. She was staring off into the distance; her eyes were unfocused, seeing a memory that wasn't there.

"Edward, I need something before we go home."

"Anything," I answered.

"Edward, I need to find _her._ I need to find Serena and take her home with us. I can't... I can't bear the thought of her being here, alone, and so far away from us.

It was the first time Bella ever mentioned our daughter to me. Her pain was so close to the surface. She had kept it from me for so long, but now it was bleeding out of her small frame, catching in her chest and taking the last reserve of her resilience. She clenched her fingers into fists and rubbed them into her forehead above her eyes. I curled my hands around each of her wrists and gently pulled them away from her face. I looked through my own watered vision and into the tears falling from her eyes.

"Bella, I will find her for you, and we will bring her home with us. I promise."

I gently wiped the tears from her eyes with gentle sweeps of my thumbs. My fingers ran gently over her shoulders and down her arms. She began to shiver. I reached up once more and pulled our foreheads together. Bella continued to sob as I rubbed her back softly allowing both of us to grieve for our daughter together.

* * *

_**The little bit of Gaelic in this chapter is taken from The Outlandish Companion, by Diana Gabaldon.**_

moi ghille - my lad, my boy

saft in the heid: mental deficiency/foolish

I've read four books out of seven in Diana Outlander series. Like SM, Outlander was her first ever novel. In my view, her Jamie rivals Edward as a hero you want to root for.

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**The Last Breath**

**Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: **10**  
**

**Title: **Confession**  
**

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella have a picnic under a Black Oak Tree on the 108th Convalescent Hospital grounds

**Historical Significance: **Description of the black walnut tree and its growing season in the UK.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)tree-shop(dot)co(dot)uk/products_category_list(dot)asp?productcategoryID=1

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**Story reference: **Bella's 'grandparents' home was the rectory house when they were delivering intelligence to Milton Keynes

**Historical Significance: **Views of Rectory Farm, now the old manor house from the 1900's to the year 2000. The last tenant recorded was C. Whiting.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)mkheritage(dot)co(dot)uk/hdhs/buildings/buildingResult(dot)asp?Building=1041

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**Story reference: **Siobhan gives Edward a map directing him to St. James the Great Church in Hanslope

**Historical Significance: **Saint James the Great Church was the sight of a murder in 1912

**Source: **http:/www(dot)mkheritage(dot)co(dot)uk/hdhs/frametragedy(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Siobhan tells Edward of a home where he and Bella can enjoy their picnic lunch without interruptions

**Historical Significance: **The old vicarage was renovated into a bed and breakfast located in Warwickshire. (_I would love to know if anyone has ever stayed here. I'd love to go if I ever have the opportunity to visit London.)_

**Source: **http:/www(dot)theoldvicarage(dot)com/index(dot)html

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**Story reference: **Bella needs to wear leg braces to protect her graphs and strengthen her atrophied muscles

**Historical Significance: **I can't find the original photo I used for this research but you get the idea…even though this one is from the 1950's

**Source: **www(dot)flickr(dot)com/photos/dboo/181223877/

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A/N: Nope, no Renesme for this story. Remember that Bella didn't know Esme when she became pregnant. However, my apple doesn't fall too far from SM's writing tree. I'll explain how Serena got her name in a later chapter.

I hope you've enjoyed chapter ten. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	11. Chapter 11 Trust

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann, Jess and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_Special thank you to Sheena (Savannah-Vee on FFN) for her help in making sure that Jenks sounds like he's from London and not from Cleveland._**_  
_**

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Trust

"How is it possible that no one at Mill Hill knows anything about my daughter or where she's buried?"

Carlisle came over to put his hand on my shoulder. The light from his desk lamp shown down on the scribbled notes I had made over the last two weeks. Bella's doctor had left London for the United States shortly after Bella delivered Serena. The hospital records were mishandled, and no records of Serena's birth or death came to the 8th Convalescent with Bella.

"Edward, they have enough challenges trying to keep track of the living, let alone the dead. I'm not saying this to be callous, but it's true. Look at your own situation; you and Bella were both told that the other was dead."

"I'm frustrated with the total lack of direction. Every time I call they connect me with the burn unit. The nurse there tells me that Bella's doctor was transferred back to the US. She says that she's contacted the groundskeeper for the cemetery to ask for his help and so far, nothing. How can this happen? I know that they need to keep track of the bodies for transport back to the US. I feel like I'm being stonewalled."

"Maybe we need a different approach. Do you remember telling me to find new colleagues when I was searching for a way to fight Bella's infection?"

"Yes." I added asarcastic,_ of course, _in my head.

"You need to find a way around the wall. If you're always connected with the burn unit, and you're not getting any results, go directly to the undertakers or the groundskeepers."

He was right. It was at least worth a try. I picked up the phone and dialed the main number for Mill Hill. I practically had the number memorized by now. The switchboard answered.

"Mill Hill switchboard, how may I direct your call?"

"Cemetery or undertaker, please."

"One moment, sir."

My eyes widened; could it really have been that easy? A moment later, a voice answered on the other line.

"This is Jenks… 'Ello?" it asked.

It was a man's voice with a gruff cockney accent.

"Yes, I'm looking to find the body of a child buried in your cemetery this past summer. It would have been around July. It was a newborn baby actually. She was my daughter, her name is Serena Masen."

"Oh, sir." He paused swallowing hard. "I'm very sorry for your loss. It was July you say?" I heard him shuffling papers around in the background.

"Yes, late July or early August. The records that came with my wife didn't give me an exact date."

"It's not every day that I bury a newborn. I remember it." There was a long pause. "The box was so small. I 'ad to make it myself. The young mother died in the burn unit. She was an American."

"Yes, she _is_ an American, but my wife is very much alive. She was transferred to the 8th at Stoneleigh Hill. She's been recovering here for months. She'll likely be released soon, and we want to take our daughter with us back to the United States."

"I see. I'm very 'appy to 'ear that your wife survived, sir. Lauren was so sure…"

"Who is Lauren? What was she sure of?"

"Lauren, is actually Lauren Mallory; she's a nurse in the burn unit. She brought me the baby to bury out 'ere. Said the doctors gave your wife the best care they could, but she didn't have any 'ope that your Mrs. would survive."

"Does she still work at the hospital?"

"Yeah, she's the head nurse for the burn unit now. Lovely woman. She was _very_ upset when she brought me the child. You see, she is a young mother herself."

"I can be at Mill Hill in a few hours," I said.

"Sir, transfers like this need the right paperwork. They won't let you leave the country without it. If you're planning to go back to the US, you'll need 'em before you get on a transport."

"How long?" I asked not hiding the agitation in my voice.

"I'll 'ave 'em by Friday."

It went against my better judgment to allow him two days to stall. Something felt off, but I didn't have any evidence, only a feeling.

"What papers do you need? I have some connections with the ETOUSA in London; I can probably get them pushed through quickly."

"Sir, I actually do the paperwork 'ere, but it does take some time. I need to update the Report of Interment. I 'ave to make copies and send them to the Quartermaster General, the Central Records Office, the Adjudant General's Department, the Theater of Operations, and a final copy for the Chief Surgeon."

"All right, Jenks, I'll see you bright and early on Friday morning."

"Yes, sir."

I heard a click and then the phone went dead.

"What did he say?" Carlisle asked. He was staring at me intently through the entire conversation.

"He said Friday."

I took a deep breath and pursed my lips to one side.

"What's the problem, Edward? Aren't you relieved? You have the information you were looking for, and you'll be able to bring your daughter home, right?"

"Bella's the problem. She's going to want to go."

"Edward." He sighed. "Bella _is_ stronger, and I believe that she'll be ready to go home soon. Maybe we should look at this as a trial run to see how she does away from the hospital? Take my car. You can go down to Harrow on Thursday afternoon and be there early on Friday morning. It's about a two hour drive and breaking it up over two days will be easier on her. We'll take some precautions of course; I'll give her a round of penicillin to combat anything she would come in contact with while her immune system is still recovering."

He trailed off looking up at the ceiling to do a calculation in his head. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I didn't want to take any chances with her. Unfortunately, Bella wasn't going to see it my way.

"I need to call Colonel Swan."

I pushed on the door leading into Bella's room. The afternoon sun was shining in through the windows. Bella was leaning forward with her hands on the windowsill. The light lit the strands of her hair as they fell across her shoulders. Her eyes were closed as if she was letting the sun warm her face. She took a deep breath filling her lungs. The sight of her still stunned me; her every breath made me happy. I moved quickly to her side and wrapped my arms around her waist. I pulled her into my chest to lift her weight off of her legs. My chin rested on the top of her head. Bella wrapped her arms around herself and over my own arms to hug me tightly to her. I dropped my head forward to place her cheek against mine and felt her smile in response. Unable to contain my emotions any longer, I lifted her and pulled her legs out from underneath her, carrying her over to the bed.

"You're not ready to stand up on your own." My voice was filled with disapproval. "I know you're anxious to be independent but give it some time. That's what the physical therapy is for.

She huffed at me, but she saw something more in my eyes. She jerked her head back to get a better view. Her eyes squinted. She was appraising my expression, my posture, my breathing. It was as if she was running through a checklist in her head.

"What do you know?"

I suppressed a laugh, knowing it would only frustrate her and get me into trouble. She had completely dismissed my comments about it being unsafe for her to stand without someone to support her. She was good at reading people. She'd always been good at that. I thought about passing off my trip as fact finding, but she would see through me. Further still, she'd be angry with me once she found out I went off to find Serena without her.

No, as much as I wanted her to stay here, I wouldn't be able to lie or to dissuade her from coming with me. Still, I had to try…

"I finally got some information about Serena."

Her eyes widened and then retreated into an inner pain that crushed me. _How could going be anything but wrong for her?_ _She wasn't strong enough physically and emotionally…I could only begin to imagine what this would do to her._

Bella waited impatiently. She tightened her jaw, tensing in anticipation.

"I was being stonewalled when I called the hospital. Carlisle suggested I contact the groundskeepers directly for help finding her."

I couldn't bring myself to say the word undertaker. It would only bring Bella unnecessary pain.

"And?" she huffed.

"He said he remembered burying the child of an American this summer. It was Serena; I'm sure of it. He said that a nurse in the burn unit brought him the baby.

The sadness in Bella's eyes pulled a painful ache through my chest. It was as if some faint memory was being wrenched away from her. I struggled with what to say next. I didn't want her to go with me. It was going to be too dangerous, too costly, for her.

My voice was a whisper.

"Bella, I'm going to get her on Friday. By the time you finish your morning session with Mike, I'll be back."

"Edward," she said curtly. "There's no way in hell you're keeping me from going with you."

She expressed her words with so much conviction and intensity, I knew that I would have to chain her to the bed or have Carlisle knock her out to be able to escape without her. Would I do that to her? Could I? The idea seemed both right and wrong at the same time.

"I will be there," she continued. "I will hold Serena. I will be her mother and care for her, if only once, before we bring her home."

Her words pierced me. She would be a mother again. I promised her that. I hung my head and stared at my hands in defeat. I would have to find away to protect her. New fear swelled within my chest restricting the air in my lungs. _Carlisle said something about more penicillin…_

"Edward!" Bella shouted at me. "Answer me."

She hadn't asked a question, but still she wanted a response from me.

"You have to trust me when I tell you that I _need_ to do this. It's as strong as the need I had to find you after my accident." She looked down and furrowed her brow in determination. "I'm not asking for your permission, Edward; I'm going. _Please, _don't make it any harder for me."

I closed my eyes and turned my head away from her face. I nodded. She threw her arms around me. Her warm tears wet my neck and shirt collar. I pulled my arms around her and stroked her from behind her head down to the small of her back. I resolved myself to the fact that she was going. Still, I was determined to keep her safe. I pulled away from her and stared into her teary eyes.

"Promise me you'll do whatever Carlisle instructs. Everything, rest, penicillin shots, whatever… You also have to trust _my _judgment. I'm the lead."

She knew what I meant. We had always been partners, but I was asking her to listen, no, more like to _obey_ if I told her to do something. Not in a controlling way, but more like the way we were in Ultra. Back then she was the lead; I followed her direction. Regardless of our partnership, she was still the lead. Now I was asking her to relinquish that part of our partnership to me.

"Promise me, Bella."

She nodded and looked up into my eyes.

"I promise."

The plan was set. I had the car ready with a map and food for the trip. We were staying in a hotel in Harrow for the night and we would be at Mill Hill at seven am on Friday morning. I put the last of the blankets for Bella onto the front seat of Carlisle's car.

"Edward," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I turned to look at him. His expression was somewhat…_embarrassed _perhaps?

"Edward. There's something I need to tell you as Bella's physician."

My eyes grew wide. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Edward. Esme told me that you and Bella were planning to have a family some day."

"Yes." I nodded.

"Edward, pregnancy is very hard on a woman's body, especially in the later months. There will be swelling and a lot of pressure on her legs to carry the weight of a child."

And then it hit me. Could we have more children? How stupid of me to promise her something I couldn't control.

"Are you saying she can't bear anymore children?"

"No, Edward, it's not that. I'm quite certain she could conceive a child. I'm just cautioning you as her doctor. She needs more time to heal before she can carry a baby. Even if she were to conceive a year or two from now, I would probably put her on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. There will be a big risk for her and for her unborn child. A pregnancy for Bella will have to be watched very closely."

"Oh," I said. "I understand. I won't put her in any danger."

"I know that."

I shut the door, still rolling over Carlisle's words in my mind. I walked through the lobby to the elevators and up to Bella's room. She would always be fragile; she would always need to be looked after. But the best way for me to love her was to make her think that she was still as strong as a lion in my eyes.

When I entered the room, I saw Esme was packing something in a bag on Bella's bed. She turned to me as I walked toward her.

"Edward, this is the penicillin that Dr. Cullen prescribed. The syringes are already filled. You need to use alcohol and cotton to clean the skin before you give her a shot. Pull the skin taut, grasp the syringe and jab it into her skin, then push the plunger down. Be careful with the amount of force you use. You want to pierce the skin and enter the first few layers of muscle tissue."

She looked at me warily.

"Are you sure you can do this?"

"I'm sure."

I looked across the bed as Esme slipped the box into Bella's bag. A white cloth was folded delicately on top. I walked over toward her and reached out to touch the sheer fabric. My hand lightly traced the embroidered circles that edged the fabric of what I knew was Bella's wedding veil. The touch sparked a memory of one of the happiest days of my life. I silently wondered why Bella would want to take it with us to Harrow. Esme caught my stare and answered my unspoken question.

"It's for Serena. I think Bella intends to wrap her in it."

Esme lifted the edge of the fabric allowing it to fan out beneath her fingertips. A hint of a smile crossed her face as she traced the intricate pattern formed by the scalloped edge.

"It's lovely."

"She loved this veil. She told me it was exactly what she would have picked out herself."

The expression on Esme's face was full of surprise.

"She didn't pick this out herself?"

I shook my head and grinned at the memory of Siobhan.

"No, but she sort of had a fairy godmother."

"_When we got back from the trip to Warwickshire, Bella told Siobhan that we were engaged. Siobhan could not have been more pleased with herself. _

"_I knew ye were a smart boy, Edward. I'd like to help make some arrangements for you and Bella, but it will take a little time. Can ye wait until August? _

_I was still getting used to the idea that I asked her, let alone the fact that she said yes to me. August was only two months away. Bella would be my wife in two months!_

"_I can wait as long as she can." _

_I couldn't get the smile off of my face. I knew that Liam and Seth had turned in for the night, but my poker face had evaporated the moment I began to imagine Bella in my arms and kissing her as my new bride. Siobhan patted my leg as we sat together in the parlor. She smiled at me with a deep sense of satisfaction. Her grin resembled a Cheshire cat._

"_I'm gonna need some time to plan. I need an excuse to give ye a night alone together. Bella needs a gown, and ye'll be needin' some wedding rings…."_

"_Siobhan, how are you going to do all of this? We're in the middle of a war."_

_She looked at me with reproach in her eyes. "Edward, a wedding is somethin' ye celebrate no matter what is going on in this here world. It's once in a lifetime. I ken it'll be that way for the two of ye. I want it to be memorable for ye. Liam and I hadn't any bairns of our own. You can give an old woman the pleasure of plannin' a wedding, can't ye?"_

"_Of course but-"_

"_No buts, it'll be done."_

_When we came down in August, I could barely keep my eyes away from Bella. The nervous excitement made me grin every time I looked at her. She was in far better control than I was, or at least she seemed to be. _

_True to her word, Siobhan had everything planned. She tapped on my door on when we got there on Friday evening._

"_Edward?"_

"_Yes, come in please."_

"_I've got somethin' for ye." Siobhan's poker face was no better than mine. She slid two gold bands out from a small manila envelope and into the palm of my hand. _

"_How did you ever?"_

"_No questions," she said with immediate haste and authority. "Just be happy, mon crideaugh." Her expression softened as she picked up the rings and placed them back in the envelope before Liam could come find her._

"_Tomorrow you're taking Bella and me on a trip." She winked. "I've told Liam that I need to call on my sister in Manchester. Liam isn't very fond of Heidi. He is quite content to let me go on with you and Bella alone. Seth'll stay with Liam and I'll spend the night at the rectory with Father Clapp. He's happy to have the company and, for once, a good meal."_

_I was dizzy at the way her web of planning had all fit together._

"_After the ceremony you'll be goin' to stay at the old vicarage, aye. Alistair and Maggie are very excited about hosting ye for the evening. I'm sure ye'll have a lovely time." Siobhan was grinning at the idea herself._

_She saw my own far off glance, and this time she smacked my leg. "Gu leoir!" she hissed. "Back to business. Did ye bring your uniform like I'd asked of ye?_

"_Yes ma'am."_

"_Good, we'll leave at ten. You'll drop Bella and me off at the church, and then I have an errand that'll take ye to Olney."_

"_Okay, anything. What do you need?"_

"_I need ye to pick out a wee wedding gift for, do luiadh, Bella. This region has a long history of lace making datin' back to the 1560s. I'm sure you'll find somethin' lovely for her. The shop in Olney is not more than a quarter hour from Hanslope. You shouldna have any trouble getting back to the church by noon. DON'T BE LATE or I'll brain ye!" I want you to come in through the priest's doorway. You'll no be seein' your Bella 'til she walks down the aisle."_

_My eyes grew wide and a grin plastered itself across my face. I shook my head almost in disbelief. We were really going to be married in the morning. Siobhan noticed my reaction. _

"_Cold feet, moi ghille?" she asked smiling._

"_No!" I said with far too much enthusiasm. "Even Colonel Swan couldn't keep me away. But how will I give Bella her gift if I'm not allowed to see her?"_

"_Ye leave that to me. No ruinin' the first sight of her, ye hear?"_

_She glared at me. There was no convincing her otherwise. With that, I quickly decided to let Siobhan have her fun. _

_The next morning I was jittery and nervous. I put on my chauffeur's uniform and slipped the gold rings into my pocket. I grabbed an overnight bag with my uniform and a change of clothes for the evening. I scrambled down the stairs and into the kitchen for breakfast. Siobhan had a full feast for us. Liam and Seth were already scarfing down the eggs and bacon. The scent of fresh blueberry bread warmed the air and drew me to the table like a moth to a flame. _

"_Have fun today," Liam scoffed. He leaned closer to me across the table. "I can't say I envy you, son. Heidi is an infuriating woman. She can try the patience of a saint." _

_I laughed to myself. "I've had a lot of training; I think I can handle her."_

_Liam leaned in closer and his voice turned to a whisper._

"_I've had nearly forty years of _training,_ son, and I still can't handle being in a room with her."_

_A loud bang was followed by an "Ouch!" as Liam cried out. Before I could move, I saw Liam's hand fly up to the back of his head._

_Siobhan had turned quickly from the stove with the cast iron frying pan full of scrambled eggs in her hand. She knocked the pan into Liam's head without spilling so much as a smidge of breakfast. Seth and I tried to smother our laughter._

"_I'm so sorry, mo airgeadach. I turned too quickly. Are ye all right?"_

"_Just fine, love," Liam grumbled with an expression of strained tenderness plastered across his face._

_We finished breakfast, and I realized that Bella still hadn't come down yet. Siobhan noticed my glances toward the hallway and the stairs. _

"_Edward, my bags and Bella's are by the front door. I'll thank ye for puttin' them in the car for me."_

"_Yes, ma'am." _

_I grabbed my bag and made a few trips out to the car. There was a long bag already draped across the back seat. A dress I wondered? I tried to imagine Bella in a wedding gown, but the reality of life hit me. It was 1943, and the world was at war. It didn't matter what she wore; she would look beautiful naked. Actually…my eyebrow lifted at the idea. I shook my head and turned to go back into the house when Siobhan caught me at the door._

"_Oh no ye donas, we'll be leavin' shortly. I want ye to back the car up so that you're facin' away from the door. Before ye be getting' any wild ideas, turn up the rear view mirror. If I catch ye' peakin' at her, so help me, Edward…."_

"_I'll be good," I promised._

"_Ye'd better, or Liam won't be the only one with a sore_ _head from my frying pan."_

_Siobhan went back into the house, and I backed the car toward the door as instructed. I waited with the engine on, nervously rubbing my hand through my hair and staring down at the Saint Christopher's medal hanging from my neck. The medal caught my attention. Thoughts of my mother filled my mind as I ran my thumb over the image on the face. _

"_I wish you were here today, mom. I know you'd be happy for us." _

_I jumped, half startled, when the back door opened. I had to force myself not to look up or turn around. _

"_All right, Edward, eyes on the road."_

_I heard Bella slip into the seat and the sounds of the dress bag being pulled across her lap. Siobhan went around the car to the other side and joined her. _

"_Am I at least allowed to say good morning to her?" I pleaded._

_I heard Bella suppress her laugh. _

"_I suppose," Siobhan said with an exasperated tone._

_I looked down at my hands and rolled my lips between my teeth. I wondered what to say to her to adequately express how happy I was today._

"_I love you, Bella," I whispered._

_I heard her breath catch._

"_I love you too, Edward," her whisper matched mine._

"_I know." I smiled to myself. "This is just the first day of forever for us." _

"_Umhmm." She swallowed._

"_All right, sguir, Edward. She'll be ruinin' her makeup before we even get to the church." Siobhan didn't have any force behind her voice. I think she wiped a tear from her cheek as well._

_I put the car into drive and headed down the long driveway. We turned the corner, and my hands gripped the steering wheel. I rubbed my thumbs around the black rim. I needed to hear her voice to calm the fluttering that was plaguing my stomach._

"_So, any plans for today?" I asked casually._

"_No, same old same old," she said with a sigh. I could hear the smugness in her reply. _

_Ugh, Bella you're not helping me here. Maybe the weather? _

"_Nice day for August, don't you think?" I said with more of a pleading in my voice than I would have liked._

"_Yes, lovely. No clouds but still cool for this time of year."_

_I tried to keep my eyes on the road and not show my nervous frustration, but it was quickly getting to me. Mercifully, Bella reached forward from the back seat and squeezed my shoulder with her gentle hand. _

"_How did you ever make it through training?" she asked smugly. "It's too easy to get to you."_

_My eyes never left the road, but I reached up and stroked her hand. I leaned into my shoulder to kiss her fingertips. _

"_I made it through training just fine thank you. You're just a better operative."_

"_I know," she said laughingly. "That's why I'm the lead." _

_And just like that my butterflies evaporated. I pulled up to the main entrance just past the peaked doors that led into the church. _

"_Don't keep me waiting too long," she said, squeezing my shoulder once more._

_Siobhan got out of the car and was coming around the front to my door. I reached back over my shoulder to hold her hand there for one moment longer._

"_Bella?" I asked. "I know I'm not supposed to see you now, but when you come down the aisle you'll see it in my eyes. It will be the happiest moment of my life."_

_She leaned forward and kissed the back of my head for a long moment. My eyes closed in response and then she was gone. Siobhan leaned into my window while Bella slipped into the church. I got Siobhan's and Bella's bags out of the trunk for them. _

"_Make sure you're changed and back by noon, aye? Meet me at the priest's entrance on the northwest side of the church."_

"_I'll be here."_

"_Dinna worry, Edward; I'll make sure she's ready. The waiting is the toughest part. Now off with ye."_

_I hopped into the car and made the short drive to Olney. The shop was on a street called Bull Court. Inside I found a sales clerk sitting behind the counter with a huge pillow on her lap. There must have been sixty beaded bobbins and string hanging down from the pillow she was using to weave a lace edging by hand. _

"_Welcome, can I help you?" she asked._

"_Yes, I'm here to buy a wedding gift for my bride."_

"_Oh, congratulations, when's the big day?"_

"_Today, in an hour, maybe two." When the words tumbled out, I realized that I was a little less coherent than I had thought._

"_Okay, well, let's see." The woman showed me around the shop pointing out the different items. My eye settled on a delicate lace garter tied together with a powder blue ribbon._

"_That's a lovely choice," she said. "Do you know what kind of dress she's wearing? Is it full or tight to her frame?"_

_I gave the woman a blank stare having no idea how to answer her. I remembered my vision of this morning, Bella naked, now with the garter slid half way up one of her thighs._

"_Okay, um, how about a handkerchief? She can carry it with her flowers and use it if she needs to wipe a few tears during the ceremony?"_

_I sighed a little, liking the image I conjured in my mind of the garter a lot more. "Yes, I think Bella would like that."_

_We looked through a half dozen when I came upon one that had the silhouette of Saint James' church intricately woven into the bottom left corner. "This is the one."_

"_You're getting married at St. James?" _

"_Yes, at noon. In fact, I need to get changed. Is there somewhere close by I could…"_

"_Of course, here, I'll wrap this up for you. You can go into that room over there. We use it for classes in the evenings, but no one is here but me today."_

_I changed quickly then paid the woman for the handkerchief. _

"_Thank you," I said. "I'm sure Bella will love it."_

"_You're welcome; I hope you enjoy the gift too." She smiled so hard it bewildered me. _

_I hopped back into the car and drove back to Hanslope. When I got to the church, I reached under the seat and grabbed the envelope I sealed last night. Inside was a letter I wrote for Bella. The words seemed even truer this morning._

_**I am the luckiest man alive today, and I know that the passage of time will only make me love you more. I will love you when you're old and when you're grey and when you're wrinkled. I vow to love and care for you every day of my life.**_

_**Today our lives become one and I take you into my heart forever.**_

_**Forever,**_

_**Edward**_

_I got out of the car and grabbed the package with Bella's gift. With the envelope tucked safely inside the bag, I made my way to the priest's entrance. Once inside, I was immediately caught in the arms of Siobhan. _

"_Oh, Edward, she looks so beautiful." _

_I smiled and handed Siobhan the package. "There's a letter in there for Bella too."_

_She nodded and led me to the center aisle and introduced me to Father Clapp._

"_Welcome, Edward, are you ready?"_

_I nodded, a little bewildered but completely sure._

"_Mrs. Callaghan is going to help Bella with a few more things. Then she'll go over to the organ to play the wedding march. When it comes to the vows just repeat after me. You'll do fine," he said reassuringly. "Do you have the rings?"_

"_Yes." I pulled them from my pocket and slid the rings out from the envelope and into Father's hand. _

_We walked toward the center of the aisle. _

"_This is called the chancel." Father and I stopped and turned, looking down the long aisle. Father pointed to the back of the church. "Your bride will come in through those doors."_

_I took a deep breath and smiled, nearly shaking my head at how amazing I felt at that moment. I looked up at the stone arches that framed the center of the church. The light colored stone was bathed in a pale amethyst glow from the stained glass windows. The whole church seemed to radiate from the early afternoon sun. _

_I heard a whoosh as the right side door at the rear of the church opened. Siobhan walked through the door and nodded toward Father and me. Her heels clicked quickly as she strode up the aisle toward the organ at the rear of the chancel. She played the accompanying music and then began the wedding march._

_I stood in nervous anticipation, staring toward the back of the church. The rear door on the left opened and pulled to a stop. I waited, and then my eyes finally set on the vision of Bella as she appeared from behind the door. More than ever before, her beauty astounded me. The white silhouette of her gown framed every inch of her. The neckline softened and draped downward showing off her cream colored skin. The gown moved softly beneath her as she stepped toward me. Light layers of chiffon curved with her as she moved. She held a bouquet of white English roses with a hint of blush at their centers. Bella began searching for me through the delicate screen of her tulle veil. The mantilla framed her face and dusted over her bare shoulders and arms. It lay in gentle folds hugging her waist and ending in a graceful curve behind her knees. As she walked, it floated a few inches behind her and caught up in the gentle breeze of her movement. Before Bella completed her second step, her eyes met mine. If the expression of joy on my face was half of what I felt at that moment, she would have seen my promise of eternity meant only for her. I saw her smile widen and her eyes blink softly. She moved in perfect timing with the music. When she only had a few steps left, I reached out to her with my left hand inviting her into my breath and my life. My arms would always be her comfort, her home. Her hand slid into mine as I stepped toward her. I paused for just a moment to bring the back of her hand to my lips. I told her I loved her before we took the last step together to join our lives forever. _

_I was aware of the service going on and Father's words, but mostly I stood in awe of the amazing woman beside me. Somehow she loved me and wanted to share her life with me. Tears fell softly from her face as she repeated her vows to me. My own voice was a little shaky and perhaps an octave higher than normal. I reached up and with the back of my fingers, gently wiped a tear from her cheek. _

"_Be happy," I whispered._

"_I am. More than you'll ever know."_

_Father's voice broke my stare with the only words that could have moved me at that moment. _

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."_

_I took Bella's face in both my hands and leaned down to kiss her. The touch of her lips against mine sent chills down my spine. So much longing, so much joy poured out of me and into that kiss. Bella threw her arms around my neck. The scent from her bouquet wafted around my head leaving me delirious with joy. I broke away from her lips only to draw my arms around her waist. I pulled her to me and lifted her off the floor twirling her around in a circle. _

"_I love you, Mrs. Masen."_

_She laughed in exaltation in my ear. "I can get used to hearing that." _

_Siobhan hugged us both as we walked out into the early afternoon sun. I held the door for Bella as she slid into the seat. I scrambled to join her as she waved goodbye. _

"_Thank you," she shouted. It was probably the fiftieth time she said those words to Siobhan that day. But we both knew it would never be enough. _

_Bella rubbed the back of my hand in hers all the way down to the old vicarage. Just like before, I slid the Packard into the Carriage House and cut the engine. _

"_I did tell you how beautiful you are, right?"_

"_Yes, many times," she said with a soft chuckle._

"_Good, you'll never hear it often enough."_

_I leaned over to kiss her gently, but Bella wasn't interested in being gentle. After a few moments she sighed. _

"_Come on. We shouldn't be rude to our hosts."_

"_They'll wait," I answered, pulling her once more into my eager lips._

_We walked hand in hand toward the back of the house. The patio was set with a table for two. The host and hostess beamed as we approached them. Alistair's arm was draped over Maggie's shoulder. She clasped her hands together as the sight of Bella in her gown filled her eyes._

"_Congratulations to both of you! Alistair and I couldn't be happier that you're joining us tonight. Please, sit, eat."_

_I walked around the table to pull Bella's chair out for her. Glen Miller was playing on the radio. I took my seat across from hers and pulled her hands into mine. We ate and talked and laughed until a particular song started playing. _

_It was Dinah Shore's "You'd Be So Nice to Come Home To." I stood up taking Bella's hand and pulled her into an empty space on the patio. Her fingers found mine and pulled our intertwined hands into my chest. My right hand guided slowly up the back of her gown until her body folded into mine. Bella rested her head lightly against my shoulder. I smiled in contentment and laid my chin on top of her head. _

_You'd be so nice to come home to,  
You'd be so nice by the fire,  
While the breeze, on high, sang a lullaby,  
You'd be all that I could desire.  
Under stars, chilled by the winter,  
Under an August moon, burning above,  
You'd be so nice, you'd be paradise  
To come home to and love._

_The explosion of a light bulb crackled, startling both of us. Alistair was a few feet from us with a large camera in hand. _

"_Can I take one more please?" he asked._

_He posed us gently, but the look in Bella's eyes didn't need to be directed. I hoped that joy was reflected in my own unwavering smile. Alistair's camera bulbs flashed a few more times and before we returned to the table. The dishes had been cleared and in its place stood a tiny two layer white wedding cake. Bella was astonished._

"_How did you? I mean, the rations…its-"_

"_It's our pleasure, Bella, really. Alistair and I are going to be spending the night in the lower quarters. We'll have breakfast set outside your room by eight. The house is yours tonight but don't hesitate to call on us if you need anything." Alistair snickered at the thought of us needing or wanting their help tonight. Maggie rolled her eyes and elbowed her less tactful husband in the ribs. _

_We thanked them both profusely and watched as Alistair and Maggie waved goodbye for the afternoon. I grabbed our bags from the car while Bella cut two pieces of cake for us. _

"_Let's take them upstairs," she said biting her lower lip._

_She didn't have to tell me twice. I followed her into the house and up the stairs toward the bedrooms. _

"_Wait," I told her._

_Bella froze momentarily, slightly bewildered by my request. I took the pieces of cake from her hands and placed them next to the bags. I put my hand on Bella's back and knocked her feet out from underneath her. She shook her head at the surprise of my sudden attack._

"_What–"_

"_I'm carrying you across the threshold of course."_

_I bound into the room; it was a warm, cheerful, salmon color. It reminded me of a sunrise over the Hudson River. A huge four post bed lay in the center of the room. Gauze was dripping from each corner and tied back in a graceful arc with white satin ribbons. There were candles covering every flat surface. My eyes followed the rose petals that trailed into the room, around the floor, and across the bed. I set Bella down as we turned to examine the room together. It looked like it had been plucked straight out of a fairytale. From the fireplace, to the exposed wood beams, to the afternoon sun floating through the lacy window treatments, we were standing inside of a fantasy. It was our fantasy, even though it would only last for one night. _

_Not wanting to waste any time, I went back and grabbed the bags. I kicked the door shut behind me just in time to see Bella removing her veil and laying it gently across the chair. Her gown was stunning. The unobstructed view of her figure sent my body into a burst of flames. The front was cut low to show a hint of her cleavage while the back dropped dangerously low and down toward the edge of her spine. It invited me to explore the shadows of her muscles and the soft skin that I imagined beneath the thin layers of chiffon. _

_I was immediately drawn to her. The pull was so strong I could taste it on my tongue. _

"_Drat," she said. _

"_What?"_

"_I forgot forks for the cake."_

"_Who needs forks? I'll lick it off of you."_

"_In that case you'd better grab our napkins."_

_Why was she making me wait? Weren't the hours of torture and months of anxious planning enough to drive me insane?_

_I rolled my eyes but quickly darted out the door and down the stairs. I grabbed whatever I could find from the remains of our meals and piled it onto a clean plate. Who knew when we might surface again to find sustenance; it was better to be prepared._

_I returned to the room to find the door barely cracked open. There was Bella standing stark naked leaning away from one of the bedposts with her left hand grasped around the wood. The contrast between the dark wood and her cream colored skin was intoxicating. On her left thigh was the white lace garter with a powder blue ribbon from Olney this morning. The vision of her beauty from her head to her toes left me speechless. My heart pounded in my chest and my breath sped. I put the food on the table and ran toward her. My arms flew around her crushing her to me. I worshiped her, running my hands over every inch of her body. My fingertips caressed her breasts, and I paused to inhale deeply at the nape of her neck. Bella's lips were on mine in a frenzy of kisses. I lifted her off the ground, and she wrapped her long legs around my body. I walked forward, and we both collapsed onto the bed. The fall had managed to break our kiss. We were both panting heavily. _

"_So you like the garter on me?" she crooned._

"_I like everything on you, but I think I like you most in nothing at all. But where did it come from?"_

_Bella looked confused. It was in the bag with your letter and the handkerchief. This was the box marked "for later."_

"_Aaahh," I moaned. _

"_What?" she asked as she quickly worked to unbutton the front of my uniform. _

"_I'll tell you later. We've got more important things to concentrate on right now." _

_The rest of my clothes flitted to the floor as Bella's body quivered beneath mine._

A voice from the present broke my trance.

"Edward. Are you ready to go?" Bella asked.

Esme and I sat staring at one another with the same blank expression. I shook my head to revive myself from the flood of memories that probably flushed my cheeks and sent me longing for Bella the moment she called out my name. Esme's face was flushed too. She got up and went over to hug Bella in her wheelchair.

"Keep yourself safe," she told her. "I'll see you when you get back."

And with that, Esme left. Only the click of her heels could be heard in the hall growing lighter and further away.

"What did you do to her?" Bella asked suspiciously.

"It's more like what did she do to me? I've been telling Esme about our time in Hanslope. I finally reached the part about our wedding day and the night at the old vicarage."

"Good memory," she smiled biting her lip. Then her expression changed a bit.

"Poor woman." I saw Bella shake her head. "Tisk, tisk, Edward," she said quite mockingly. "You probably sent the woman into convulsions. I bet she goes off and attacks Carlisle tonight."

_Carlisle?_ I thought. I shook my head trying to picture them together. Bella only rolled her eyes at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I smirked at how I was finally in on their love affair. A sly grin crossed my face when the thought of Esme pouncing on Carlisle entered my mind.

"Maybe he'll thank me when we get back?" I gloated, realizing that it couldn't have happened to two better people.

* * *

**Gaelic translations**: from The Outlandish Companion by Diana Gabaldon.

bairns - children, mon crideaugh - my friend, Gu leoir - Enough of that!, do luiadh - your beloved / your darling, moi ghille - my lad, my boy, mo airgeadach - my silver one, donas - devil, sguir - stop (that!)

* * *

**The Last Breath: Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: **11** - **Trust

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward tries to get information about baby Serena from the staff at Mill Hill(dot)

**Historical Significance: **Mill Hill Emergency Hospital was actually a psychiatric hospital but operated as an emergency hospital from 1939-1945(dot) It's located in Harrow between London and Milton Keynes(dot)

**Source: **http:/pb(dot)rcpsych(dot)org/cgi/content/full/30/3/106

* * *

**Story reference: **Jenks talks to Edward about the paperwork he needs to transfer Serena's body back to the US(dot)

**Historical Significance: **Provides details on the registration and internment of soldiers during WWII

**Source: **Report of Interment (2/3 down the page) http:/med-dept(dot)com/grs(dot)php

* * *

**Story reference: **Carlisle gives Edward and Bella his maroon Triumph Gloria to use on the trip to Mill Hill(dot) They need the car to pick up baby Serena's body(dot)

**Historical Significance: **One of the few British cars made in the 1940s was the Triumph Gloria(dot)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)special-classics(dot)com/Archive/english/36-glori(dot)jpg

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Esme examine Bella's wedding veil(dot) She intends to wrap Serena's body in it when they go to Harrow(dot)

**Historical Significance: **View of a vintage wedding gown design similar to the image described of Bella's mantilla veil: Chiffon Overlay "Sophie" Dress, Antique Tulle and Lace Mantilla Veil

**Source: **Hit the arrow button to the left once: http:/junebugweddings(dot)com/fashion-report/vintage-wedding-dresses(dot)aspx

* * *

**Story reference: **Siobhan tells Edward to go and pick out a wedding present for Bella(dot) She tells him where to buy a hand made lace gift in Hanslope(dot)

**Historical Significance: **The region surrounding Hanslope has handcrafted lace since the 1560's(dot)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)mkheritage(dot)co(dot)uk/hdhs/framesetlace(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward looks over a lace garter for Bella(dot) He wants to give it to her for her wedding present but doesn't know if it will work with her gown(dot) He chooses a handkerchief instead

**Historical Significance: **The Olney Lace Circle has a photograph of the garter I imagine Edward eying for Bella(dot) It is under the button called 'Our Work'

**Source: **http:/www(dot)olneylacecircle(dot)co(dot)uk/

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes the beauty of the amethyst light shining in from the stained glass windows(dot)

**Historical Significance: **Photographs and descriptions of the stained glass windows adorning Saint James the Great Church in Hanslope

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bucksstainedglass(dot)org(dot)uk/Indices/pl0109(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes the interior of St(dot) James the Great(dot)

**Historical Significance: **Tour of Saint James the Great Church in Hanslope takes you through the interior of the church and shows you a virtual tour of all the rooms including the Chancel where Siobhan plays the wedding march for Bella (this is awesome, I recommend you check it out)

**Source: **The Chancel is in section 14 of the tour. http:/www(dot)mkheritage(dot)co(dot)uk/hdhs/churchtour/frameset(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes Bella's wedding gown and veil(dot)

**Historical Significance: **View of a vintage wedding gown design similar to the image described of Bella's mantilla veil: Chiffon Overlay "Sophie" Dress, Antique Tulle and Lace Mantilla Veil

**Source: **Hit the arrow button to the right until you reach the 4th, 15th & 16th picture: http:/junebugweddings(dot)com/fashion-report/vintage-wedding-dresses(dot)aspx

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella dance to Dinah Shore's You'd Be So Nice to Come Home To (lyrics by Cole Porter)

**Source: **http:/popup(dot)lala(dot)com/popup/1297318193596597171

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**AN:** I love the pictures of Bella's wedding dress. It's perfect for what I imagine she would have worn. My own wedding dress didn't look anything like Bella's. I'm very small (just barely five feet), and I never could have pulled off that dress.

I hope you've enjoyed chapter eleven. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	12. Chapter 12 Interlude

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann, and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**_  
_**_

* * *

_**

Interlude

Bella wheeled her way over to me as I stood by the bed. I had zipped up her bag so she wouldn't have to explain why her bridal veil was lying on top.

Carlisle strode into Bella's room. In his outstretched hand was a set of car keys. He dropped them into my hand allowing the clink to ring in my ears. The sound sent a shiver of finality through my spine. I was taking her away from this bubble of security. The anxiety showed on my face.

"Let's go," Bella nearly ordered.

She could see my apprehension rising to the surface. I resigned myself to the fact that she was going. I had to trust that somehow I could keep her safe.

Bella slid across the front seat of Carlisle's shiny Triumph Gloria. It was a handsome car; the maroon paint glistened in the sunlight. I shook hands with Carlisle and hopped into the driver's seat. The engine purred as we drove down the curved driveway of the hospital. The trip would take us about two hours. Bella snuggled up against my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and softly kissed the top of her head. It was nice to act "normal." Here, in the car, we weren't at war; we weren't in a hospital. We were just a young couple, in love, going on an afternoon drive.

She sighed contently. Her cheeks turned up into a smile.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking this is almost like a date."

"Almost?" I asked.

"Yes, you've never officially asked me out."

I could correct that easily.

"Mrs. Masen?"

"Yes?"

"Could I ask you to join me for dinner this evening?"

"Let me check my calendar."

She thought carefully for a moment, pursing her lips and wrinkling her brow. I waited impatiently for her answer, although I knew she was a sure thing.

"Well, if I follow convention, I should tell you no. You've asked me far too close to the event."

She hesitated but quickly winked and continued after appraising the apparent look of surprise on my face.

"But seeing as how I'm already in love with you and I am your wife to boot, I guess I could make an exception."

My eyes focused on the road ahead, and I slowed the car as we approached a temporary security checkpoint. There was a row of three cars ahead of us. Bella shifted in her seat to get a better view of the MPs. In that moment, my two personas switched places. Edward the husband took a half step back while Edward the operative stepped up. We were just past Blakelands when the car rolled to a stop beside the makeshift check point. I cranked down the window to address the MP. He was heavily armed, more than would be considered normal for a security detail. Bella discretely flipped off the blankets that covered her leg braces. The legs of her pants were scrunched up so that the braces were clearly visible.

"Military ID and purpose of your trip," the MP said flatly.

My right eye squinted as I appraised his tone. He was tense, examining the car and registering in his mind that a soldier on furlough would not be in a British car. I handed him our IDs and decided it would be better to give him the truth so he could check out the story with Colonel Swan if need be. Technically, I was still on medical leave.

"My wife and I are traveling to Mill Hill. She gave birth to our daughter there this summer. She's been recovering from her injuries at the 8th in Stoneleigh Park. We are getting the interment records to be able to bring her body back to the U.S.

The MP peered into the window and eyed the braces on Bella's legs. Bella leaned forward turning her head toward the solider; her hair fell across her shoulder and the MP's eyes flashed at her radiance.

"Why the extra security soldier?"

Bella's tone was casual, but I knew better. The authority in her voice would be evident, even to a young soldier. It was obvious that she had enough experience with the US military to ask a direct question.

"Orders from brass in ETOUSA."

There was a slight shift in our eyes toward one another. Bella continued.

"What are you looking for?" she asked in the same tone of authority.

"Anyone with papers that predate 1942 and persons with a thick cockney accent."

"When did the alert go out?" Bella questioned. Again, she knew how to ask the right question without giving him the chance to deny her request.

"An hour ago."

"How wide is the net?"

"Thirty miles."

She nodded at the soldier who handed back our IDs.

"We will be back through tomorrow," I said. "Sometime in the early afternoon. "

"I don't know who will be on duty, but I'll make sure they know to expect you."

I nodded and drove off. If they knew the mark, it was likely an intelligence leak. My mind wandered to Jasper, wondering if he was safe. Bella answered my unspoken thoughts.

"If the orders for the checkpoint came from ETOUSA, they already have the operatives in hand and safe."

"Assuming they're not out on a mission," I countered.

She nodded solemnly. All the more reason she should have stayed at the 8th.

"You know, technically we're both dead; at least according to the U.S. Government."

Bella was referring to the fact that we were each had been notified that the other had died.

"It doesn't matter. We're getting Serena, and we're getting the hell out."

"I know." She sighed. "Does this mean my date is off?" Bella was being smug. She was phenomenal at diversion.

Of course I was caught off guard. She pulled me from the morose thoughts in my head. I rolled my eyes wondering how she could get to me so easily.

We pulled up to the Grims Dyke Hotel in Harrow. It was an enormous, stately Tudor styled home that had been converted into a hotel. We were greeted warmly at the reception desk and shown by a bellboy up to our room.

"I'm going to take a bath."

I drew the water for her and helped her out of her braces. I took Bella's warm, soft body and lowered her gently into the water. I sat with my left arm on the tub staring at her longingly. I began to rest my chin on my arm.

"Anything you want me to rub – I mean wash?" I quickly corrected.

She just laughed. The beautiful sound echoed throughout the room. The afternoon sun was setting and the orange glow gently filled the bathroom. The light lit Bella's face, accentuating the blush of her cheeks and the crimson hue of her lips. I must have turned a little red. Bella leaned forward and placed her dripping, sudsy hand under my chin. She drew her face to mine and pressed her lips under my ear.

"Yes, everything, but I'm about done in here. Will you help me up?"

I shuddered at her touch and very direct invitation. Awaking from my stupor, I stood up and grabbed a towel. I lifted her under the arms so she could pull her feet underneath her. She allowed her body to lean backwards into my arms. I pulled her dripping body close to mine and walked her back to the bedroom. Once I placed her naked, warm and very wet body on the bed, I went back for more towels. I was rather drenched myself. My shirt and the top half my pants were soaked from the filmy bubbles. When I reached her, Bella grabbed my arms instead of the towels and pulled me onto the bed beside her. Undeterred for the moment and worried about her catching a chill, I fluffed the towels to dry her shoulders, her stomach and her chest. I kissed her softly as she unbuttoned my khaki army shirt. Realizing Bella's intentions, I pulled back before this could go too far.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going to take a shower so that I can be presentable for our date."

"I changed my mind; I'm not hungry for food right now."

I laughed, but my expression must have turned serious.

"What is it?" she asked.

She pulled her neck back in a sudden jerk to really examine my expression. Then her face dropped. It was as if my reaction was telling her something she didn't want to admit to herself.

"It's my legs," she said looking down. "You don't see me the same way anymore."

The horror at the thought that she confused my concerns for her safety with not desiring her made me rush back to her side. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her so passionately she _had_ to know how much I wanted her. She responded, and I climbed over top of her. My hands were on either side of her shoulders bracing me away from our heaving chests. My dog tags swung from the chain around my neck.

"You have to know how much I want you." I hoped the sincere, desperate longing was evident in my voice.

"Then why are you stopping?"

"I can't hurt you."

"You won't."

I didn't move.

"What?" she asked completely frustrated.

"Did Carlisle say anything to you about having more children?"

"Is that what this is about?"

"Just answer the question."

"Yes, he said that we need to wait at least a year to get pregnant so that I have some more time to heal."

She started grinning at me. She reached up and began furiously tearing down the remaining buttons of my shirt. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them back to the bed. She struggled to sit up, and I eventually released her. Her hair was still dripping. The water rolled down her chest and along the nipple of her breast distracting me. I reached up and grazed the water sliding my hand to a stop over her heart.

"I won't risk hurting you, there are other ways..."

She smiled again, placing her hands around my neck.

"You won't. This trip couldn't be better timing. _Trust me_."

Her smile flashed, and my heart thudded painfully in my chest. I hesitated. My eyes squinted unsure if she was telling me what I wanted to hear to get her way.

"_Trust me_," she said again, emphatically this time.

Her eyes were burning into mine.

"AAARGGH!" I yelled in mock frustration. "You _always_ get your way!"

I leapt off the bed and unfastened the remaining buttons of my shirt while Bella flipped open my belt buckle.

"Oh right," she said sarcastically. "Tell me you're disappointed."

Once I was bare-chested before her, I leaned forward devouring her neck with my lips. My body trembled as Bella fought to slide my trousers over my hips and down my legs. My lips parted over her soft breasts. I lost myself in the sensation of her supple skin. My fingers reverently traced and then flexed over her left breast as my mouth licked and teased the nipple of her right. After I had paid her breasts due homage, my lips gave way, making a trail of kisses down her abdomen and circling her navel.

"God, Bella, I've missed you so much."

Bella ran her hands over my shoulders and into the untamed locks of my hair. I moaned at the sensation of her fingertips as they danced across the back of my neck, over my ears and down my jaw. Bella cradled my head, loving me with each sweep of her hand.

My breath became labored and my body shuddered with her every touch. My conscious mind reminded me how lucky I was to hold her and feel her body once more. I shut my eyes in recognition of how blessed I was to be held in her embrace and to feel how much she loved me.

My hands ran over her thighs while my mouth gently kissed the scars from her grafts. My body ached to show her my physical love for her. I sat back on my knees and lifted her ankle. My lips motioned forward to press three soft kisses against the scared skin.

"Edward, don't…You don't have to," Bella pleaded.

I gently placed her leg back down on the bed meeting her request for the moment. She needed to know how I worshipped her entire body. To me, it represented everything she had gone through to keep her vow and survive for me.

"I want to; I love every part of you, Bella. Every part you gave to survive for me. Don't be ashamed. Don't hide from this. _Please. _Let me love you…all of you."

I kissed and caressed every part of her skin until we couldn't hold off any longer. My physical need for her was so great that I trembled in anticipation. I leaned forward again, positioning myself at her entrance. My fingers reached under her shoulders to cradle her head and the back of her neck. My dog tags slithered between her breasts clinking gently as I hovered over her frame. I swallowed hard, meeting her eyes and searching for her permission to love her with my entire being.

"I love you, Edward. You are my soul…my life…my forever."

Her words shook me as I pushed forward, joining our bodies as one. We both gasped at the sensation as we lost ourselves in the embrace of one another's eyes. I stared into her deep, brown pools finding everything I needed to be happy in this life. Her body called to me responding to my motions as I gently rocked us back and forth. Bella's labored breaths caused her chest to rise and fall quickly, joining us in rhythm as her chest arched to meet mine. Gooseflesh trailed across my skin, and I shuddered once again at the sensation of her fingers trailing down my back and over hips, curving to grasp my bare skin. My eyes flittered closed, and I reveled in the sensation of the amazing woman in my arms.

In those moments, I made love to her with my embrace. Her soft lips met mine, and our tongues danced against together lavishing one another in a swell of emotions. My heart was healed; my mind filled with every possibility for our future. My body exulted in her touch and my soul had new life. She was my other half. We were finally rejoined as one.

Bella was my perfect mate. She was fierce and gentle, loving and determined, feisty and as smart as they come. She balanced my aggression with playfulness. She matched my fool hearted bravery with calculated intelligence. She was stronger than anyone I'd ever known, and yet she saved the most fragile and loving parts of herself for me and _only_ for me. It was those moments I treasure above all others.

Finally, my body tensed in anticipation as Bella's tiny frame began to tremble. The quivers grew, and her body began to shake more violently as she buried her head against my chest panting my name begging me to never leave her again.

It was too much. Her words unhinged the remaining strength in my body and drowned all coherent thoughts in my mind. The call of her body in ecstasy frayed the remaining strands of my control until I began panting in my own release.

"Bella!" I cried out against her shoulder. My body shuddered against her entire frame.

Suddenly, I sat up panting and grasping the back of her head. I was holding her body as close to me as possible until we were nearly one being. I hadn't even realized I was crying until Bella gently wiped away the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. She reached up to cup my face in her small hands. With Bella in my arms, I was whole again. Even though no more words were exchanged, we knew we could face whatever challenges lie ahead, as long as we were together.

oo!OO!oo

I left the steaming bathroom after a shower and shave. My body skidded to a stop when I found Bella sitting on the bed wearing a satin, sapphire blue blouse. A bow was tied neatly at her neckline. The tails finished in an arc and shadowed a deep cut keyhole that lunged between her breasts. Her brown hair fell in soft curls against her shoulders. I was stunned by the movie star smile she gave me. It was the first time since our wedding that I saw Bella wearing makeup. I skidded to a stop while rubbing my wet hair with a bath towel.

"I can't go out with you," I said completely stunned.

"Why not?" she asked. Her brow furrowed and her eyes scrunched in a puzzled expression. She looked down at her clothes as if there was something wrong with _her_ that she needed to change.

"No one will believe you're going with me of your own free will," I answered with complete sincerity. "They'll think I've kidnapped you."

Bella laughed while I put on a new pair of trousers and buttoned my shirt.

"I'll take care of any probing questions from strangers, but, my dear husband, I do have a request for you."

"Anything," I replied as I stepped back to the bed and knelt before her.

"I want to _walk _down to dinner with you tonight. I want to be seen on your arm, not rolling in a wheelchair."

My frustrated smirk instantly gave away my opinion of her request.

"I've been good all day," she argued. "I haven't been on my feet. I have the braces on now, and you can hold me the whole time. You can even carry me back upstairs if you want. I just want to walk beside you to dinner. I want a REAL date."

I thought about it. Everything she said was true. The tone of Bella's voice let me know how determined she was to do this her way. There wasn't much I could do to argue so I let out a deep sigh and quickly conceded.

"Again, you always get what you want. Remember to let me wear the pants sometimes, okay?"

"I'll let you know when I'm done with them," she half snorted.

I opened the door of our room and slid the key into my pocket. I went back and helped Bella slide off the bed and onto her feet. She was still a bit wobbly. I gave her a disapproving look which she ignored. I shook my head at her stubbornness but relented by offering her my arm in gentlemanly fashion. Bella wound her right arm around my bicep; her graceful fingers securely grasped the top of my muscle. I patted the top of her hand gently. I wouldn't let her fall.

"You ready?" I motioned toward the door as I asked the question.

Bella nodded, and together we took an unstable step toward the door. Her gait was off; the braces didn't allow her to flex her ankles normally. It would be easy for anyone to notice her awkward and stiff steps. She didn't mind, and I knew this was what she wanted. I pinned her arm against my side to shore up her steps. It made me tense but both the gleam in her eyes and the brilliant smile dancing across her lips made me genuinely happy for her.

We managed to maneuver ourselves out into the hallway. I paused to pull the door of our room closed behind us. The elevator was just a few doors down the hall on the left. We made our way slowly and cautiously together as the doors closed behind us. The jerk of the elevator as it moved knocked Bella off balance. She didn't have the flexibility to absorb the shock without stumbling. Her free hand grabbed my arm, and I caught her waist to steady her. I wrinkled my brow, thinking this was a bad idea.

"I'm fine," she said, rolling her eyes at me. "I just wasn't expecting a sudden stop."

"Let me know if you get tired," I whispered into her ear.

She nodded as we plodded along stiffly but at an even pace through the lobby.

"Table for two?" the Maître d' asked.

"Yes, by the window?" Bella requested.

_Of course_ she would want to sit in the farthest possible spot from the entrance. She never took the easy route. I had to admit that the table she chose was the most elegant spot in the entire restaurant. The window had an arched frame that rounded from the ceiling down to the floor. It was at the far west corner of the restaurant providing a panoramic view of the grounds. Even in November, the remaining leaves on the trees were still vibrant shades of orange and yellow.

Yes, people stared at us, but Bella didn't seem to be self conscious. I think they stared at her beauty as much as they noticed the help she needed from me. The Maître d' pulled out her chair for her, and I helped her ease into her seat. She looked a bit winded but very pleased with herself. I grinned at her, both in awe of her beauty and in admiration of her determination. After the waiter took our order, I grabbed her hand and began rubbing my fingers over her wedding band, still amazed at the fact that she was mine. Bella stared softly out the window and into the twilight.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

I suddenly regretted the question, wondering if her thoughts were of Serena.

"I was thinking about Alice and your parents. They don't know where we are or if we're alive. They don't even know we're married."

Secrecy was a regrettable part of working in intelligence. Our letters to our loved ones were few and far between for many reasons. Fortunately, Bella and I had made one another next of kin before I left for Marigny. At least they wouldn't have received the awful telegrams from Western Union regretfully informing them of our deaths.

"If we're going to go home soon, we're going to need to prepare them and figure out where we're going to live."

It was an odd conversation. Despite how long we've been together, our lives centered on London and the war. It's not that we didn't think about the future, but it was nebulous, distant and uncertain.

"Where do you want to live?" I asked.

Bella paused. "In a perfect world, we would live close enough to visit your parents and still see Alice."

Bella grew up a small town called Easton, located in Maryland. Her best friend, Alice, was a few years older than Bella. She told me long ago that Alice's family practically had raised Bella after her mother died. She never talked about her dad. I knew he was still alive, but from what little Bella told me, it was apparent he had been an absent father.

"Philadelphia?" I pondered. It was about half way between Easton and my parents in Brooklyn.

Bella wrinkled her nose a bit. Although I was perfectly comfortable with city life, she grew up close to the ocean in more of a small town.

"There are little towns around Philadelphia and in New Jersey. We could live close to the shore." I reached over to rub my thumb against her warm cheek. "Don't worry, love, it will work out. As long we're together, I don't care where we call home."

With that, her mood lightened.

"You're right. When Carlisle discharges me, I'll call Alice. She's going to kill me for not writing more often."

"I think she'll understand."

"And your mom?"

"My mom loves me. She'll cry at first, just being happy to see me alive. Then she'll give me a lot of guilt about not writing later. Mostly she'll just cry. It will be a long night."

I grinned at the thought of her hugging me. It really wasn't fair to make her worry, not after losing Riley. Unfortunately, it was also unavoidable.

We finished dinner and made our way back to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, I swept Bella up into my arms.

"Couldn't wait any longer, huh?" She grinned.

"Nope. How are you feeling?"

"Happy to be in your arms."

Bella fished the room key out of my pocket lithely. There was an apparent grin as she slid the key into the lock and turned the handle. I kicked the door closed behind us and sat her on the bed. Bella pulled me on top of her as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"That bow has been distracting me all night," I quipped. "I figured I'd help you by untying it for you."

Bella ran her tongue across her lips and then leaned back on her elbows. The gesture invited me to untie the bow and gently unbutton her blouse. I helped her slip off her pants but stopped short when I got to her braces. She sat up, noticing the apparent change in my mood. I untied the laces and slid her legs gently out of each brace. I put my hand on top of her skin to test the temperature as I'd seen Carlisle do in the past. The skin was hot which meant there was swelling there.

Bella sighed.

"I can really kill a mood, can't I?"

I cupped her cheek gently and then leaned forward placing my lips to her forehead. "I'm going to grab some ice from downstairs. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I took the key off the dresser and pulled the door shut behind me. When I returned, I knocked once followed by two more quick raps on the door.

"Bella, it's me."

I slipped the key into the lock and opened the door.

"Why did you knock?"

"I didn't want to startle you."

"The people we need to be afraid of don't knock."

"Fair point, love."

She was right. My mind wandered back to the security checkpoint, hoping Jasper was safe. I grabbed some more towels from the bathroom and wrapped Bella's legs in ice. I waited for the ice to ease her swelling by picking up the room. I repacked our bags so that we could leave early the next morning. We were meeting Jenks at seven.

Bella shivered from the cold ice against her skin.

"Do you need me to warm you up?" I asked coyly.

"Yes, I'm freezing to death over here."

Bella grinned as she wiggled out of her blouse and bra leaving her naked from the waist up. I scrambled up to the top of the bed to wrap my arms around her. I gently kissed the top of her head. Bella looked up at me with her deep, chocolate eyes motioning me toward her. She lifted her chin to position her lips closer to mine. I leaned down and kissed her softly. Bella traced her fingertips along my shoulder blades and down my shirtless back to the edge of my pants. I shivered at her touch, and her lips smiled beneath my kiss. She placed her hand on my chest and began to kiss along my muscles and up to my neck. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought for an instant about keeping still so that her legs could soak longer in the ice, but Bella ignored my hesitation.

"Where were we?" she asked.

I smirked. "I think I was repaying my debts as your slave."

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**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **12 **Title **Interlude

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**Story reference:** Bella and Edward stay the night at the Grand Dyke hotel in Harrow before going to Mill Hill to retrieve Serena's body

**Historical Significance: **The Grims Dyke Hotel wasn't converted into a hotel until the 1960's. During the war it operated as a make shift hospital unit.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)grimsdyke(dot)com/gallery(dot)htm

1940's Photographs: http:/www(dot)grimsdyke(dot)com/gallery-gd40s(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Bella and Edward are trying to figure out where to live once they go back to the US. They decide on something halfway between Brooklyn and Easton MD

**Historical Significance: **Philadelphia splits the drive between Brooklyn and Easton Maryland to about a two hour drive in either direction.

The MLS is a stately house in Easton that is something like what I imagine Bella grew up in.

MLS# or ID# TA7038306

**Source: **http:/www(dot)coldwellbanker(dot)com/servlet/PropertyListing?action=detail&ComColdwellbankerDataProperty_id=41114467&page=property&brand=CB

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**Story reference: **Bella and Edward drive Carlisle's Triumph Gloria from te 108th to Harrow.

**Historical Significance: **Special thanks to George Zaidmann, the webmaster and knowledgeable enthusiast of pre-1940's Triumph Gloria. I was worried about Bella and Edward getting cold on the drive to Harrow since I couldn't prove that Carlisle's car had a heater. George is a very kind soul, who was generous enough to help me and provide some interesting history along with his answers…

**Source: **(e-mail correspondence with George)**  
**

Hello Leslie,

Unfortunately heaters were not fitted to any pre-war European made automobiles. In those days people wrapped themselves in thick coats,furs etc. I have driven many a time in snowy cold conditions in the middle of winter and I can assure you that it is not such an ordeal. The heat of the engine supplies sufficient warmth to make the journey quite comfortable so I feel sure that both your heroes will not suffer much and probably enjoy the drive along open roads without much traffic as was the case in those days in the country. By the way it would be of interest to me in understanding how you came to choose a pre-war Triumph Gloria as these cars are very rare and not well known when compared to other marques of the day. Also there are quite few different models within the 'Gloria' range and was wondering if you had made reference to the type of car within your pages.

Kind regards,

George

!~~!~~!

_More from George. He asked why I chose the car I did for Carlisle and then filled me in on other cars that would have been purchased by physicians and other professionals during this period. There's also a bit about car manufacturing in the UK during the war. He was too kind for me not to include his insights._

Hello Leslie,

Sounds like a good original storyline. I have seen the picture of your selected Triumph and I can confirm that it one of the rarest 'Body styles' of them all, ie a Tickford Drophead salloon and to make it rarer still, a six cylinder example. It would indeed be a type of car a doctor would select, however, the chances of finding any doctor in the UK, in real life actually driving one like this is very remote indeed.

This Triumph car was in fact quite expensive to purchase at the time so a doctor's better choice would be a Riley, a non sports MG (VA, SA, WA), Sunbeam, Talbot, AC, Morris, Austin or Armstrong Siddley for something a bit grander. It would have cost around £450 where a Riley would be around the £250 and MG's (£175 to £450). Austins and Morrises were by far the preferred choice within the medical profession at the time costing between £150 to £300, being very reliable and less 'exotic' than the others. Rolls Royce's and Bentley's cost around the £1300 so the price of a Triumph at the time was more akin to a top of the range BMW or Jaguar of today.

I simply say this for your information and certainly not to influence you in any way to change the car within your novel, quite to the contrary, as for me, had I been a doctor at the time, I would certainly I chosen this Triumph if in a position to afford one. By the way the 'drophead' model was very well insulated and even though the roof could be 'dropped', once it was closed the car was as snug as a saloon model, keeping the occupants well protected from the cold and drafts. I had an MG VA 'tickford', very similar in style to this Triumph and drove it often in cold weather in November and December.

For the rest you are quite right, the British car industry was inexistant except for the production of vehicles of war which only makes the remaining production of these Triumph cars rarer still as the firm were bankrupt by 1939. The difference with the car production in the States was that NO NEW cars were produced during the war years, never mind new models as in the USA where car production continued. After the war the Triumph marque (brand) was purchased by Standard, then by BMC and lastly by Leyland.

The Triumph Spitfire was indeed a very beautiful and very popular sports car so I can appreciate your mother's admiration for it. Should you require any further 'inside' advice for any future research just let me know and I will be happy to help. Once again best of luck with your novel and I do hope that it will be successful.

Kind regards,

George

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**AN:** I hope you've enjoyed chapter eleven. There is an update on my profile page regarding chapter previews and posting schedule. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	13. Chapter 13 Unearthed

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann, Jess and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_Special thank you to Sheena (Savannah-Vee on FFN) for her help again this chapter, she made sure that Jenks sounds like he's from London not Cleveland._**_  
_**

* * *

**Unearthed**

I woke to the ticking of the alarm clock beside our bed. I had my left arm beneath my pillow and my right arm wrapped around Bella's waist. My body curved to trace hers as we fit together as matching pieces of a puzzle. I lifted my head and strained my neck to read the clock at the edge of her nightstand. It was a quarter past five in the morning. I slumped back into the curve of Bella's body and kissed her hair, taking in the warmth of her body and the peaceful beauty of her sleeping face. Despite the heavy day that stretched out ahead of us, she looked almost content.

I couldn't help myself. I kissed her shoulder, and she stirred beneath my lips. She rolled over so that her face was inches from mine. Bella moaned softly, not quite ready to wake. Her left arm reached under mine and around my back. She pulled herself closer and burrowed her head against my chest. Her brown waves lay tangled and strewn haphazardly across her pillow. She realized that morning was inevitable, and her moan turned into a soft groan.

"What time is it?"

"Five fifteen."

"Mmmmunh."

"Not a morning person as of late love?"

Bella murmured into my chest.

"No, not exactly."

I couldn't keep the grin off of my face.

"I would think waking to my kiss would be better than the bells of that alarm clock."

"Oh God, turn it off. I used to have one of those things as a kid. I threw it across my room one morning. After that my mother tortured me with Irving Berlin's "Oh, How I hate to get up in the morning."

I hummed a few bars of it into her hear. Bella hit my shoulder.

"Stop! I give in. I surrender. I'll get up."

I reached across her body and pushed down the pin between the brass bells and settled back down beneath the covers.

"We have a little more time if you want."

Bella wrapped her arms around me lovingly. Just as the warmth of her body settled back into my chest I felt her tense beneath me.

She remembered.

She was awake enough to remember what day it was and the reason why we were here. Her body lurched forward as she sat straight up in bed. The covers fell to the waist exposing her bare chest to the cool air of the room.

"What time are we supposed to be at Mill Hill?"

"Seven."

I sat up and pulled Bella's hair back behind her shoulder. I kissed her neck and her shoulder and down her arm. Then I wrapped both my arms around her and pulled her closer to me from behind. Bella's head dropped a little. She was probably thinking of holding Serena for both the first and last time.

"No matter what happens today, we'll face it together. You won't have to do this alone. I promise."

Bella pulled her hands up and pressed my arms deeper into her chest and against her heart.

"I know. I'm probably going to lean on you a lot today."

"I know," I agreed. "I'll be right beside you."

I got up to find the box of penicillin that Esme had prepared for Bella. She sat on the edge of the bed while I wiped the alcohol against her skin. I looked at her almost apologetically for this. She ignored me.

"You chicken, just do it," she urged in frustration.

I shook my head, pulled the skin tight and plunged the syringe into her arm. She winced a little as I pushed the plunger down.

"Good thing you're a much better operative than a doctor."

I rolled my eyes, because I didn't want her to have the satisfaction of knowing she was right.

oo!OO!oo

After breakfast, we made our way to the car. Bella slid onto the front seat with a bag on her lap while I put her wheelchair into the trunk of Carlisle's Triumph. The bag lay at her feet while her folded, white mantilla rested gracefully on her lap. Bella was playing with the embroidered circle edging, rubbing it softly between her fingers. I didn't say anything as my eyes fell upon her. I just turned the key and started the engine. Bella was still looking down while tracing the feather light tulle with her fingertips.

"It's for Serena," she said softly.

I just nodded. I reached my left arm up and around her shoulders pulling her close to my side. The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon. It lit strands of Bella's hair, turning them amber and red.

The engine and exhaust had barely warmed us by the time we finished the ten minute drive to Mill Hill. I parked and helped Bella into her wheelchair.

"Ready?" I asked.

Bella took a deep breath and nodded as I pushed her toward the front door. She seemed to stiffen as we rolled into the entrance. She sat up straight, as if she was keenly aware of her surroundings. I wasn't sure if she was flashing back to her memories as a patient here or if she was preparing herself for meeting Jenks and Serena.

"We're here to see Jason Jenks."

The nurse behind the registration counter stood and pointed in the direction of a long southerly hall. She motioned to the elevator at the end of the hall and told us that Jenks' office was at the far west end of the building. I thanked her and pushed Bella down the long, blue hallway.

Jenks' office was cluttered, full of papers, cigarettes and intricate maps of the hospital grounds.

"Corporal Masen, Mrs. Masen," he said, while he stood and reached out to shake my hand.

He grabbed his jacket off of a crowded coat stand and led us down the hall and out of the back entrance of the building. As he passed through the doorway, he grabbed two small shovels lying against the wall to the left of the door. I bristled from the chill in the air this morning, but Bella didn't seem to notice. Her veil lay between her hands under the protection of the heavy quilts that I had brought from the car.

"How long have you worked here, Mr. Jenks?" Bella asked gently.

"Fifteen years now, Madam," he said rather formally.

Bella smiled at him. The morning light hit her face giving her a radiant glow. The softness of her smile seemed to put Jenks more at ease.

"Yes, I've seen a lot 'ere, too much really with the war." He paused for a brief moment as if he suddenly remembered why we came to see him today. "I am very sorry for your loss. I don't bury little ones like yours very often." His voice trailed off into a whisper.

Bella nodded once. As I watched her face, I noticed an expression there that I couldn't quite place. She was intently watching Jenks.

"I made the box – I mean coffin, myself," he offered. "It was so small. I hadn't 'ad to make one like that in a long time. I tried to make it just right for the baby."

"I appreciate that Mr. Jenks."

Bella paused for a moment. She seemed to be carefully deliberating over what to say next. I was confused by the subtle nature of her questions.

"Mr. Jenks, do you know what my daughter is wrapped in? I brought something of mine for her."

Bella pulled the veil out from beneath the quilts in demonstration. I heard his quick, small gasp. Then I saw a deep sorrow for Bella's loss fill his eyes.

"Oh, Madam, I don't know. I gave the coffin to Ms. Lauren. The baby was already in there when I buried her.

Bella nodded.

"Ms. Lauren, was that my nurse?"

"Yes, Madam, Mrs. Lauren Mallory. She's the 'ead nurse in the burn ward."

"Is she here today? I'd like to thank her for taking care of me while I was here. Without her and Dr. Varner, I wouldn't be alive right now."

I stiffened at her words. Bella glanced up at me. The corner of her mouth softened a bit, curving up to let me know that she was okay.

"No, Madam, Miss Lauren is sick today. I know she would have wanted to see you. I went to talk to her after Corporal Masen called me. She was so startled by the news that you were alive, she started to cry.

Bella's eyes shifted to mine and squinted for a second before they returned to Jenks.

"I had no idea she was so dedicated to me. I wish there was some way to thank her while I was here.

"Well, Madam, if you'd like to write her a note I could give it to her."

"Oh, Mr. Jenks, that's kind of you. I know there's really no way to repay her for the care she gave me while I was here. Perhaps I could bring her something to thank her and help her feel better at the same time….maybe flowers or some food?

"That's nice of you, Madam. I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

"Does she live close by…?"

We were making our way around a bend between two long rows of maple trees. As we emerged from their golden canopy, the white crosses began to appear on our left. Hundreds maybe thousands of soldiers were there awaiting transport back to the U.S. or to their family plots somewhere along the allied lands. My mouth fell open at the sight. The hills rolled and the ground stretched out dotted in white as far as I could see. The grey haze of the morning hovered over half of the crosses in the distance. I envisioned it as a misting ghost who covered the graves to keep them warm through the cold, dark nights.

Bella, too, paused at the sight. The awe of the moment shook both of us. Jenks stopped beside us, staring at a map between his rough hands before pointing off to the distance.

"There, beneath the elm tree."

All of the crosses looked the same, but off in the distance about fifty yards from the edge of the road was a young elm tree. Many of its leaves had fallen to the ground, but the few that remained danced in the gentle breeze. The sun had lifted itself up over the horizon and illuminated the frost glistening from the elm's teardrop shaped leaves.

"I chose the tree for the little one to give it some shade and protection from the seasons."

Bella's head dropped, and she closed her eyes. She pursed her lips tightly. I placed my hand on her left shoulder and gently squeezed it. Bella reached up for my hand.

"I'm okay," she murmured softly.

I took one of the quilts from Bella's lap and followed after Jenks as he headed off for the elm. I laid the blanket by the tree and went back for Bella. I reached down to pick her up under her legs when she stopped me.

"No, Edward, I want to walk."

I nodded and helped her to stand. She wrapped her arm around mine and laced our fingers together. I reached across my chest to grab her under her arm and hold her steady. Together we solemnly made our way to the quilt and prepared ourselves to meet Serena together.

Bella sat down, and I handed her the veil. Jenks rechecked the marker of the grave against the map and then pulled the cross from the ground. He reached down into the hole left by removing the cross. He emerged with a green glass vial with a black lid. He unscrewed the cap and emptied a rolled brown paper into his open hand. He stretched out the coil and read.

"Serena Marie Masen.

- Caucasian Female –

- Brown Hair –

Born July 20th 1944 – Died July 20th 1944.

Weight 6lbs 3oz."

Bella balled her hands into fists and looked down at the quilt. She didn't cry. She just nodded and kept staring down. Jenks handed the vial and the paper to me. I looked at them briefly and placed them on the edge of the quilt. Jenks leaned forward and offered me the handle of one of the two small shovels he carried with him. He dug in first, and I followed him. The ground was cold but not frozen. The fall frosts had not sunk deep into the ground. The grass that had grown over the grave this summer was now yellowing; the roots came up easily as Jenks and I worked side by side.

"It's not far down, maybe three feet."

A few minutes passed as we labored to remove the earth from my daughter's grave. The work to find her seemed to harden the ache in my chest. Each shovel of earth brought me closer to her and to the loss burrowing deep in my chest. I would have been her daddy, her protector. I would have chased away bad dreams and kissed her cheeks goodnight. I would have seen her off to school on her first day and walked her down the aisle. Each small mound of earth I lifted was a bit of her future I would never see. And with one last thrust, I hit something hard. The shovel vibrated at the contact with the tiny coffin and every bone in my body felt the tremor. My teeth rattled together. The soft thud I heard when the shovel hit the wood formed a painful, hollow ache as I exhaled. Bella's back stiffened with the sound.

Jenks stopped and leaned his forearm against his shovel as I stepped forward into the shallow grave. I dusted off the top of the coffin and pried it from the earth. This pitiful little box, no longer than my mother's rolling pin, held my Serena. I stepped out of the grave and placed, the box on the ground. I knelt down and placed one hand on the box and used the other to shield my eyes. I said a silent prayer for my little Serena, asking God to keep her safe until I joined her someday.

I turned toward Bella. Her eyes met mine, and she swallowed hard. Her distant gaze seemed to look past me.

"Open it," she said.

"Bella, no."

"Edward. I will hold her. Once."

I sucked in a deep breath and shut my eyes. I slowly shook my head no. My eyes were still closed when I heard her soft whisper.

"Edward, _please._"

I winced at her words, knowing the pain it would cause her both if I answered her plea and if I refused her. Unthinkingly, I picked up the shovel and pried at the edge of the lid. The nails gave way easily, and I lifted the lid from the tiny pine box. The sunlight hit this small bundle wrapped in a tattered baby blanket. I reached inside and gently lifted the small package with both of my hands. With my back toward Bella, I stood and unwrapped our baby. I looked down at the blanket as the baby lay there naked in my hands. The sadness I was feeling burned away with a flame that ripped down my spine. My jaw clenched and a hiss escaped from between my teeth. I stepped quickly and turned toward Bella. I placed the blanket with the child into my wife's outstretched arms and reached for the service arm at my waist. I cocked the pistol with my thumb. The sound of the click was deafening in my head. I turned and aimed my loaded gun directly at Jenks' chest.

"WHAT IS THIS?"

Jenks' eyes widened in fear and complete confusion.

"WHERE IS SERENA?" I shouted at him.

Jenks was stunned, unable to speak. He shook his head in quick, short motions not knowing what or how to answer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella re-wrap the child and start to scramble to her feet. My focus on Jenks was distracted by her unbalanced reach for my arm. I hoisted her to her feet and wrapped my free arm around her waist to support her. All the while the furry, burned in my throat and pushed me to shoot this liar in front of me.

"Edward, he doesn't know."

I ignored her. Bella reached out for my right arm and pushed down against me to lower the gun from Jenks' chest.

"Edward, he didn't put the baby in the coffin. He didn't know."

My eyes squinted as I tried to rationalize her words.

"Know what?" Jenks pleaded. He raised his hands in the air to surrender.

"That's not Serena. It is not our brown haired, little girl. It's a redheaded baby _boy_!"

Jenks looked around on the ground trying to make sense of my words. There was nothing there to be found, he didn't have an answer for us. Bella was right; he didn't know anything.

I un-cocked the pistol and lowered my arm. Bella and Jenks both exhaled in relief. Bella turned and wrapped her body around me. I pulled my arms to her to comfort her.

"WHERE IS LAUREN MALLORY?"

Jenks frowned. I instantly recognized that he knew where she lived. Jenks hesitated. He looked at me; he was probably envisioning me pointing my pistol at her as well. It wasn't an impossibility. For a moment, I considered Bella's embrace. She wasn't crying; she was hiding her face from Jenks. I placed my pistol back in the holder and wrapped both of arms around Bella. I followed her lead. I took in a deep breath to calm myself. I tried to make my voice gentle…

"Jenks, she owes us an explanation at the very least. I can't take my wife back to the states without finding out what happened to our baby girl."

Jenks pondered while I kissed the top of Bella's head. I looked away from him and raised Bella's chin from my chest. I stared into her eyes. There weren't tears or fear in them. There was only resolve. She nodded at me and curled back into my chest.

I heard Jenks as a huff came from between his lips.

"Ms. Lauren is a good woman. You want her to help you find her daughter, but I want your word that you won't 'urt her. I know who you are Corporal. I will make sure they find you if any 'arm comes to her."

"She won't be harmed."

Jenks swallowed and looked down at the earth and then over to the bundle over on the quilt that Bella had rewrapped.

"103 Grove Hill Road."

I nodded and lifted Bella into my arms and carried her back to the car. I returned for her veil and left the quilt with Jenks and the unknown baby. We didn't speak as I helped her into the car and put the wheelchair in the trunk. I climbed into the driver's seat and pulled the door shut behind me. Bella jumped slightly from the sound. It awoke her from her daydream. I leaned over and grabbed both of her shoulders.

"I know this is a stupid question, but are you going to be okay?"

Bella looked down at her hands shaking her head. The soft curls of her brown hair shook. I was waiting for her to cry or to show the same emotions that were seething inside me.

"I knew it," Bella said flatly.

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: **13 Unearthed

**Story reference: **Bella and Edward examine the glass vile containing the details of Serena's birth and death.

**Historical Significance: **Identification burial bottles were used to mark the graves of WWII soldiers. One is placed in the left armpit and buried with the body, while a second bottle containing identical information is placed at the head of the grave.

**Source: **http:/med-dept(dot)com/grs(dot)ph

* * *

**Story reference:** Edward offers to sing Oh, how I hate to get up in the morning, to Bella to rouse her from her slumber.

**Historical Significance: **Irving Berlin in 1918 created this popular American wartime song in 1918. Berlin himself served with the U.S. 77th Division from April 1917, at that time having already established his name as a popular composer. During his wartime service Berlin continued to produce highly topical wartime themes: _Oh! How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning_ proved a remarkable success and went on to sell 1.5 million sheet music copies.

"Oh! how I hate to get up in the morning,  
Oh! how I'd love to remain in bed;  
For the hardest blow of all, is to hear the bugler call;  
You've got to get up, you've got to get up  
You've got to get up this morning!  
Some day I'm going to murder the bugler,  
Some day they're going to find him dead;  
And then I'll get that other pup, the kind that wakes the bugler up,  
And spend the rest of my life in bed."

**Source: **Song: http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=71smG5d29to WWI background: (dot)com/audio/ohhowihatetogetupinthemorning(dot)htm

* * *

**A/N: **So...did I give it away? Did anyone know the baby was alive before this chapter? What part helped you figure it out? I left a few clues along the way. And, for the two reviewers who made guesses on it, I hope this answered some of your questions.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	14. Chapter 14 Monster

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann, Jess and Steph, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_Welcome to all of you new readers this week. Special thank you to Sheena (Savannah-Vee on FFN) for her help again this chapter, __she helped me with the dialogue for Lauren Mallory__ and to Jess for her lovely review of this story on The Little Known Ficster. The link is on my profile along with where to find previews for Ch 15._**_  
_**

* * *

Monster

"I knew she wasn't dead. They would have thought I was crazy or delusional from the morphine, but I knew she wasn't stillborn."

I couldn't stop myself from asking her.

"How did you know?"

"I heard her cries."

And suddenly Esme's words came back to me. The first time I saw them change Bella's dressings, I asked if Bella had ever talked about the baby. "_When she's coming out of the morphine…she says she hears the cries."_

"Bella, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know if I could believe myself."

Bella's eyes picked up and met mine. The light that I knew so well, the life within her that drew me to her, was being smothered. I wanted to shake her shoulders and revive her. Bella's voice was very small.

"_They kept some of the pain at bay with as much morphine as they thought the baby could stand. It didn't do much, it was always there, only the degree of agony varied. _

_The night I delivered I felt the twinges; the pain wasn't like the burns. It came and went, growing stronger with each passing hour. I knew it was the baby coming. She was coming too soon. The nurses and doctors told me there wasn't anything they could do to stop it. The labor continued. I don't know for how long, but eventually Dr. Varner stood at the edge of my bed to deliver Serena. Lauren was there wiping my face and neck with cool cloths. She kept encouraging me, saying that it wouldn't be much longer. Other nurses that were there lifted my legs to help me push, but the agony from the burns was too much. I tried; I don't know for how long, but eventually Dr. Varner saw that I couldn't manage the pain any longer. He looked up at Lauren and nodded. The nurse beside her reached for a mask and laid it over my face. I thrashed around to get out from under it. Lauren rubbed my arm, saying it was going to be okay. It wasn't okay; I didn't want to be unconscious. I wanted to know if our baby survived. I moved my chest, pretending to breathe in the ether. I held my breath for as long as I could. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I sucked in the gas in ragged breaths. The nurse must have been distracted by the orders from Dr. Varner. She watched the clock and counted my breaths, but she pulled the mask away too soon. I was still. My eyes were shut, but I was faintly aware of what was happening. Dr. Varner barked out more orders to the nurses. I could feel their hands pushing down on my stomach to guide the baby down. There was so much more pain, but eventually they pulled Serena from me." _

"I don't know how much time passed, but I _heard_ her Edward. I heard her cry."

I sat there stunned into a silent horror by her account. It was so much worse than I had feared. I couldn't do anything to take the painful memories away, but I could help her now.

"We will find her," I vowed.

Bella's determination became more and more resolved.

"I know we will."

I started the car, and we rolled down the drive and out onto the main road. Harrow was small, and we would reach Lauren's home in only a few minutes.

We stopped at the little row of houses along Grove Hill Road, and I parked the car. I went to get Bella's wheelchair when she grabbed my arm.

"No. I'll walk. I want to look into her eyes."

I nodded and walked around to her side to open her door. We gingerly made our way up the steps, and I banged forcefully on the front door. I heard the quick movement of feet and a shushing sound. Suddenly the lock unlatched, and a woman peered out from a cracked opening behind the door.

"Lauren Mallory?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm Lauren."

Lauren was a younger woman, maybe in her mid thirties. She was dressed in a long green robe. Her hair was still in curlers from the night before. Her right hand clasped around the edge of the door, and a cigarette shook between her fingers. Her voice was small and raspy. Everything about her appearance demonstrated that she was on edge. Her eyes flickered toward Bella standing off to my right side. The recognition was instant, and she dropped her head exhaling in defeat. She opened the door half way and gestured to invite us into her home.

"Come in."

I grabbed Bella under both of her elbows and helped her up the last step and into Lauren's home. Her eyes met Lauren's, and the stare sent a shiver through the woman. Once we were both inside, she motioned for us to follow her into the kitchen.

"Please sit down."

I helped Bella sit in one of the wooden chairs surrounding the little round table. Lauren went to the stove to heat water for tea. The woman was shaking. She went through the pleasantries of making tea solely for the freedom of doing something other than meeting my wife's baneful stare. Eventually she sat down at the table herself and drew in a ragged breath.

"You know why we're here," I said.

Lauren looked down at the cup between her hands.

"Yes, I knew as soon as Jenks told me you were coming."

"Serena's not here," she whispered.

The fury in Bella started to boil. I could tell that it took every ounce of her strength to grip onto the remaining inches left in her composure.

Lauren looked down so that she didn't have to meet our eyes when she spoke.

"Dr. Varner said you wouldn't survive. Your burns were so severe, and it was only a matter of time between the pain and the likelihood of infection. He decided to take the baby back to the U.S. so that it wouldn't grow up alone and orphaned here in London. I told him that I would take her and raise her as my own, but he was adamant. He said he knew a kindhearted couple in the states who couldn't conceive a child of their own. He wanted to bring Serena back to them."

Bella was enraged.

"Why did you tell me she was dead?"

"Dr. Varner said that it was the most compassionate thing to do. He didn't want you to suffer any longer. He said that knowing the child had survived would only make you fight longer and harder against what he said was inevitable. I didn't want to do it. I knew it was wrong, but I owed him."

"You _owed _him?"

"Yes. The baby you found today at Mill Hill was my son, Eric. He got sick with typhoid fever at only two months. He went quickly. His immune system couldn't fight the disease. When my other two sons became ill, it was Dr. Varner who got them admitted to the hospital so they could be treated before it took them from me too."

Bella screamed in fury at her.

"You abhorred MONSTER! You knew what it was like to lose a child and _still_ you kept her from me. You let me think she was _dead,_ putting me through this agony -.

I caught Bella's arm as she reached back to strike the woman.

Two little voices came from behind the corner in the pantry.

"Mother, are you okay?"

Lauren whispered back toward the pantry.

"I'm fine, babies. It's okay. Go back to playing."

The faces of Lauren's young sons appeared from the shadows. They ran for her side, clinging to her and clutching her robe. Bella dropped her arm from my grasp with horror in her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered into her hear.

"It's alright. You didn't do anything. They didn't see."

Bella slumped forward; she was probably ashamed of her actions toward Lauren. I held her hand and continued for her when she couldn't.

"Lauren, how do we find Dr. Varner? We will find him eventually, but it will be easier if you help us. You owe Bella at least that much."

Lauren pulled her boys close to her chest as she sat back into the chair. She was probably weighing her loyalty to the doctor against the agony she could see in Bella's face.

"I lay flowers at Eric's grave every week. The only reason there weren't any there today was because I knew you were coming. I didn't want to make you more suspicious but the fear I had that you would take him away was terrifying. I haven't been to work since Jenks told me you were coming."

She paused for a moment to look in Bella's eyes. There was a shared agony between them.

"I know now what my decision has put you through. I'm so sorry for that. I won't be able to make up for the pain I've caused you, but I'll try to help you."

She got up from the table and went toward the bedrooms of her little house. The boys were her constant shadows, never loosening the grip on her robe. Their eyes were still wide with fear and concern for their mother. The oldest was about six while the younger one was about four. When Lauren returned, she had a piece of paper in her hands.

"This is from Dr. Varner. It's his home address in Indiana. He said for me to contact him if I ever needed his help."

She looked up in pleading into Bella's eyes.

"I know it seems impossible to believe, but he had good intentions that night. He was trying to do the best for you and for the child. He's a good doctor. I just wish I would have had the strength to try to see things through your eyes. My own memories should have been enough to guide me to do the right thing, but they weren't. I'm so sorry."

She reached forward to touch Bella's hand, but Bella refused her. She struggled to stand on her own. I got up quickly to support her. Bella nodded toward the door, clutching the paper with Varner's address in her hand. She turned back to Lauren. Her expression showed her struggle between the anger, sadness and compassion that she felt toward the woman. In the end, her eyes welled with tears as she spoke.

"Lauren, I know you thought you were doing the right thing. Thank you for helping me to deliver Serena safely and for all you did to keep me alive so that I have a chance to find her again."

The words were as generous as Bella could offer her at that moment.

oo!OO!oo

I stared at the road through my glassy vision as we made our way back to the hotel. The morning started with my concerns for Bella and the devastation of holding our dead daughter in our arms. Now I could only feel stunned to know that she was alive and somewhere in the U.S. New images filled my head; a pink baby with brown curls and deep chocolate eyes like Bella's. She would be nearly four months old by now. I wondered if the future held a chance for us to raise her and see her grow. Bella rubbed her fingers over the address in her hands. She was staring at it intently, memorizing the address and probably envisioning the joy of holding Serena. Finding her would become a mission we would accomplish together.

When we got to the hotel, I was already planning the next steps. We would need to get some food and ice down Bella's legs. I guessed that they were swollen again from our trip today. Once we cleaned up and ate, we would make the drive back to back to Stoneleigh Park. Carlisle would check her out and we'd make plans to go back to the U.S. I'd contact Colonel Swan to find out more about Dr. Varner and confirm that he still lived in Indiana. We'd have to be careful not to alert him to our search. I didn't want him running…

My thoughts halted as we reached the door of our hotel room. I grabbed the key from my pocket and unlocked the door. I pushed Bella into the room and flipped on the light. I saw her mantilla slide off of her lap. I turned to shut the door behind us and toss the key onto the desk. As I turned back to Bella, I saw her lifting a page out of a brown letter envelope. I was moving toward her to retrieve her veil when I saw the expression change on her face. She went white, and her eyes pulled back in fear.

"EDWARD!" she gasped.

I ran to her side and realized from the header that it was a warning from ETOUSA.

"Can you carry me down two flights and out to the car?"

"Yes."

"Grab the bag."

The training that had been engrained in us taught us to keep everything we held valuable in a single bag. Everything else could be replaced or wouldn't give away our position. I raced to sling the bag over my arm and grabbed Bella from her wheelchair. The quickest exit was the stairwell at the end of the hall. I didn't know the threat, but I assumed that if Colonel Swan found us in the hotel, someone else could find us too.

I swung Bella up into my tight grasp and took a step back toward the door. I was frozen in place by three loud bangs against the door. My heart pounded in my chest, and I looked around for a place to put Bella to give her some cover. I dumped her into the tub in the bathroom. Her eyes were wide with fury.

"No."

"Stay here."

She was already rummaging through the bag to find her service arm as I made my way back toward the door. The banging came a second time. I peered through the keyhole and a collapse of air rushed through my chest.

I put the pistol back into its holder and yanked the door open. Jasper stood there breathlessly. He was not calm. He stepped into the room as I closed the door behind him.

"Are you both okay?"

"Yes."

"Grab her and go down the west stairwell. Seth is waiting in Colonel Swan's car. I'll take two minutes to sweep the room, and I'll follow you out."

"Two minutes," I said emphatically.

I ran back to the bathroom and grabbed Bella and the bag. She was relieved to find Jasper but didn't have a chance to speak. I was already out the door half running toward the stairwell. I ambled down the two flights of stairs grasping Bella in my arms. She held her pistol in her hand hidden by her white veil. I stood her on her feet as we reached the outer door. I grabbed for my service arm.

"Stay here. Colonel Swan's car is supposed to be right outside."

Bella stood still but leaned forward to cover me. I cracked the door and heard the running engine just a few feet away. The car was a military vehicle. I lunged back and swooped Bella into my arms. I opened the door and shoved her, a little less gently than I should have, into the back seat. I tossed the bag onto the floor and ran around to the far side. I watched the door, intently looking for Jasper and gasping to catch my own breath. Jasper banged through the door behind us just thirty seconds later. He carried Bella's wheelchair and another bag over his shoulder. The trunk was open and Jasper piled them both in and slammed it shut. He threw himself into the front seat as Seth hit the gas.

A moment later, I caught my breath enough to speak.

"What the hell is going on?"

Bella answered for him.

"There's been a leak."

"Yes." Jasper nodded. "You two were the only ones left out there in the open. Colonel Swan sent me to get you yesterday at Stoneleigh Park. I missed you, and by the time I contacted him for additional instructions, it was late in the day. He ordered me not to drive back to London in the dark."

"I'm glad to see he learned something from the last air raid," I commented morosely as I glanced down at Bella's braced legs.

"He contacted the hotel that you said you were staying at with Bella. He didn't go after you himself because you weren't staying under your real names."

"We decided it was best to use aliases after we hit the security checkpoint outside of Blakelands."

"It wasn't hard to find you. I just asked for the American soldier whose wife was in a wheelchair. They immediately gave me your room number. You have no cover. It would be easy for anyone who was looking to find you."

"Who's looking?" I asked.

"Someone close. Colonel Swan said they had an old list of operatives, but the paperwork came from his office. Whoever it is, they're close enough to know you and to know you're both still alive."

"Where are we going?" Bella asked.

"Colonel Swan's quarters."

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **14 Monster**  
**

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella describes trying to stay awake by not breathing in the ether during Serena's delivery.

**Historical Significance: **Ether was the medication used for anesthesia in WWII. It was part of the medical equipment given to each hospital and station.

**Source: **-dept(dot)com/hospContents(dot)php

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella travel to 103 Hill Grove in Harrow, UK

**Historical Significance: **In chapter 13 I listed the address as Grove Hill. The location of Laren's 'fictional home' is actually 103 Hill Grove, Harrow.

**Source: **http:/maps./maps?hl=en&q=&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=103+Grove+Hill,+Harrow,+Greater+London+HA1+3,+UK&gl=us&ei=o1pTTJGhIsP-8Aan9PCoAQ&ved=0CBMQ8gEwAA&cd=2&split=0&vps=1&jsv=260d&sll=51.578099,-0.334027&sspn=0.006641,0.01929&geocode=Fbi8EgMd-Nj6_w

* * *

A/N: What do you think; too much of a right turn at the end of this chapter? I tried to give everyone a bit of warning about this during the trip from the 8th to the Grimms Dyke.

Did the confrontation with Lauren turn out as you had expected?

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	15. Chapter 15 Surrender

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_I want to say a special thank you to Ann for recommending t__his story on Twilight Enabler, Ginginlee for recommending TLB on the Fictionators blog post, and KatHat for her review on the __Cafemom forum (post #33)._ _ The links are on my profile._**_  
_**

* * *

Surrender

The thirty minute drive to London was enough to drive me literally mad. I clutched Bella to my side. Inside I was seething at the thought that anyone would dare to come after her. I kept glancing at her, trying to gauge her reaction to the leak, but Bella's face was set deep in concentration. I could see her squint her eyes as she thought through possible informants within Colonel Swan's staff. She was calculating, strategizing and assessing. I was sure of it. She rubbed her fingers back and forth over her lips, and I knew she was trying to determine a way to ferret them out. I couldn't put my attention on uncovering the mole; we weren't going to be around long enough to find out. My single-minded focus was on keeping Bella safe, and Colonel Swan sure as hell had better back me up on that.

The question dogging me now was: where was it safe for _her_? If London wasn't safe, and Stoneleigh Park wasn't safe, where would she be safe? The problem was that she still needed medical care. We couldn't just disappear. _Damn it. There has to be a safe place._

Before I could come up with my own brilliant solution, we arrived at Colonel Swan's quarters. Seth threw the car into park and cut the engine. I opened the car door and scrambled out. Bella was already closer to my side of the car and shifted over toward me. She gave me her hand to help her out; instead I reached to grab her under her legs and carry her. Bella hesitated for a brief second but rolled her eyes and relented to my silent demand to carry her inside. She must have seen something in my eyes that forced her not to argue. Did she see my fear of her getting hurt or my determination to keep her safe? I felt so much anxiety over a situation that was so far beyond my control. Worse yet, I was terrible at hiding anything from Bella. She could sense my thoughts and anticipate my reactions better than anyone else ever could.

There were three armed guards outside of Colonel Swan's quarters. I guessed that General Patton wasn't taking any chances and ordered anyone linked to Ultra under guard until the danger could be fully ascertained. Jasper led the way to Colonel Swan's door followed by me with Bella in my arms while Seth brought up the rear. The first soldier nodded toward Jasper as he entered.

Colonel Swan's quarters consisted of two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a single bathroom. As I walked through the entrance, I found Colonel Swan standing across the room with his arms folded across his chest. He seemed to let out a sigh of relief when he caught the sight of Bella in my arms. The deep creases in his face were even more evident than when I left his office back in September. I placed Bella on the couch and knelt down to really look into her eyes. She seemed far too collected for the situation at hand, but she didn't look like she was in pain. I considered getting some morphine tablets from her bag, but I knew she would refuse them anyway. She wouldn't want to show any weakness while Colonel Swan and other operatives were around. I let it go for now. Bella reached up and cupped my cheek with her left hand. She nodded slightly toward me and flashed a half grin. She almost seemed happy to be in the thick of this again. After her sarcastic glance told me to relax, she immediately turned toward Colonel Swan. He was already crossing the room in her direction. He sat beside her and took her shoulders with both of his worn hands. His expression was almost chagrinned.

"You sure know how to give a man a heart attack, but God, it's good to see you, Bella."

I snickered to myself at the duplicity of Colonel Swan's meaning. Like me, like Jasper and nearly any other human male, Colonel Swan too couldn't be more taken aback by Bella's beauty. It _was_ enough to give a man a heart attack. But I'm certain that his heart sputters were also in reference to her surviving the infection and being left out in the open after an intelligence leak. For once, I couldn't agree with Colonel Swan more.

"It's good to see you too, Char-sir."

Colonel Swan looked as if he was about to scold a teenage daughter for staying out late past curfew. Instead he hugged her to him violently, nearly pulling her off the couch. I caught her waist to steady her before she toppled over. Colonel Swan shot an apologetic look toward me. Only then did he begin to realize how fragile she still was. His momentary flicker of compassion was snuffed out instantly when he returned his thoughts to the matter at hand.

"We're getting you both out of here while we sort this out."

"I've been thinking about that," Bella said.

Her voice was flat and hard; her training was quickly resurfacing.

I exhaled with a low growl. Bella ignored me, but I could tell from his body language that Colonel Swan already had his mind made up without needing my input.

"There's nothing for you to think about. You're not involved in this. You'll be headed north on Sunday morning."

"That doesn't mean you won't like my idea."

I gritted my teeth and put my hand over my eyes rubbing my forehead. I slowly pulled my hand down my face, trying to find the strength to keep my mouth shut while Colonel Swan argued this out with her. I could already tell he and I were of the same mind. She couldn't fight both of us on it, hell she could hardly stand up on her own.

"You're both going back on the Queen Mary; it leaves for New York out of Gourock first thing Monday morning."

Bella tried to keep still, not allowing her composure to slip. The idea of going home didn't seem to be something she considered. She was still calculating her response in a blanket of steady calm while I flew up to my feet in outrage.

"The Queen Mary, are you _insane_? Hitler has a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar bounty out for any U-Boat captain who can sink it. NO! It's too big of a risk."

"Edward, the risk is greater here. We don't know who the informant is, but we know they're close. That's why I sent Jasper and Seth after you. I know you trust Jasper after the trip to Southampton, and neither he nor Seth were around when you were in Ultra. They didn't have access to an old list of operatives."

Colonel Swan stood to look me squarely in the eye.

"I can't hide you in London or around ETOUSA; too many people would need to be involved. At least for now, that's too many people. I don't know who I can trust. Stoneleigh Park is out. If they're close, they'll know that's where she was transferred."

Colonel Swan was hitting the same wall I hit on the drive over from Harrow.

"We'll wait for a medical transport. I don't want her on the Queen Mary!"

"I've already thought of that. There are only three hospital ships in operation the USAHS Comfort, Mercy and Hope. The Comfort is in Australia, and the Mercy and the Hope are in the Philippines."

I stared at the ceiling, tensing every muscle in my body. There _has_ to be another way.

"Even if Hitler didn't have every boat in his fleet gunning for the Queen Mary, how the hell am I supposed to protect her on a ship with three thousand men?"

Jasper decided to pipe up and add his unwelcomed input to our discussion.

"She'll tone down her clothes and her hair so she doesn't attract attention."

I turned my head sharply and shot daggers at Jasper.

"Even if you _could_ make her look unattractive, _which you can't_, it would be pointless. We're talking about men who haven't seen a woman in two years at least! They wouldn't care what she looked like."

"You can put her in the brig," Jasper added thoughtfully, ignoring my baneful stares.

By this point Bella apparently had had enough of listening to us decide her transport for her. She started to pull herself to her feet. I snapped out of my brooding over other alternatives and grabbed her by the arm to sit her back down. Her jaw was set. She didn't want to be forced to sit while we argued. She pressed her lips together and cocked a small smile on the side of her face that was closest to mine. She looked up at me, raising one eyebrow.

Under her breath she whispered, "You'd come for conjugal visits right?"

Despite my seething, she managed to disarm me, and I choked out a laugh. She could always get to me.

"I have a better idea," she said with an air of quiet control.

Bella's tone commanded everyone's attention. Jasper and Seth took a few steps backward to lean against the far wall and even Colonel Swan sat down.

"Put me in quarantine," she explained.

Colonel Swan had a confused look on his face that must have mirrored my own.

"The Queen Mary has to have isolation rooms, right?" Bella asked. "We'll make it look like I have tuberculosis. TB patients wear masks to keep the illness from traveling to others. I'll pose as a man and wear a soldier's uniform. A mask will hide my face. I'm about tall enough, and it won't look out of place for a soldier, especially a sick soldier, to look as thin as I do. It won't be out of place for me to be seen in a wheelchair either. I'll just be weak from the illness. I'll stuff my hair into a sidehat or I'll cut it all off."

Bella's expression was smug. She was brilliant, as always.

"Fine, I'll contract TB too. I'll be right beside you."

"No," Bella and Colonel Swan answered in accord.

"Edward, she's right. The cover will work if she's alone. If they compare her size to yours, it will be more obvious that she's too small for a male. This should work; she'll be safe. I'll make contact with Captain Bissett in the morning. He'll make the arrangements to ensure her safety."

I pulled my arm around Bella's waist and leaned my head toward her ear.

"I don't like this."

Bella turned and reached up to grab behind my neck with both her hands. She leaned forward and placed her forehead against mine.

"Edward, we'll be in New York in a week. We can get to Serena in two."

Colonel Swan snapped his head in our direction; he had overhead Bella.

"Serena?"

"She's alive, Charlie."

It was the first time I'd ever heard anyone use Colonel Swan's first name.

"My God, how?"

"We forced it out of my nurse this morning. Serena wasn't stillborn. The doctor at Mill Hill left for the U.S. shortly after I delivered. He took Serena with him back to Indiana. He thought I wouldn't survive and didn't want Serena to be a war orphan in London."

Bella swallowed hard to keep herself from screaming out her words in fury.

"He thought it would be more _compassionate_ to tell me she was stillborn so I wouldn't keep fighting to survive."

"Thank God you were too damn stubborn to roll over and die." Colonel Swan scowled.

"What do you mean were?" I added.

I reached my arms around Bella from behind and hugged her into my chest. I kissed her neck. Bella looked back over her shoulder at me with a sizeable grin spreading across her face.

"Now about your informant…"

"We're staying out of this," I informed her.

Bella turned back again with her eyes slightly squinted. The expression on her face read like a billboard saying, _like hell we are._

She paused momentarily and then turned toward Colonel Swan.

"You need some bait."

I couldn't even get the words out to argue. I was ready to explode. She held up her hand to stop me.

"Now, I know neither of you are going to let me go out there, but you still need a lure."

"I'll do it," I resolved.

Bella's eyes grew wide. I saw her shoulders tensed and her body shake in a burst of tremors. I reached out to steady her. Her breathing, her tremors, both reminded me of that first night in Stoneleigh Park. _Was the thought of me being involved causing her to react like this? _

"We don't need to figure this all out right now. You need some rest. It's been a very hard day."

As expected, Bella wasn't about to be placated. Even though her body was frail, her mind was not.

"Actually, Charlie," she said. "I was wondering if _you_ were up for a little action."

Colonel Swan snickered.

"What do you have in mind, young lady?"

"This thing is personal. I can feel it. Whoever sent out the old list of operatives is out to settle a score. What better bait than you and me?"

"NO!" I roared at her.

Bella continued on, ignoring me.

"We'll go back to Stoneliegh Park at first light. You'll need to make a few calls in the morning from your office. Don't be overly discrete about it. Let it be known that you're anxiously trying to reach me. You'll give instructions to the switchboard to patch any call from Stoneleigh Park through to your office immediately. As soon as we arrive, we'll call you. Tell me that you're sending a telegram of where and when you'll meet us so we can "come in" until this blows over. You'll send separate telegrams through suspicious persons on your staff. The lure of finding both of us will be a very attractive catch for the informant and their assassin. I think you'll need four or five phony meeting locations with proven operatives to act as decoys."

"And what about you?"

"Seth and Jasper will drive Edward and me in an ambulance back to Stoneleigh Park. If you still have the security checkpoint up at Blakelands, we'll need disguises to get through. They're looking for our return. Yesterday, Edward told them we'd be back through this afternoon. It will also be a good opportunity to test the TB cover."

"Bella, they could be waiting for us at the 108th."

"You're right, Edward, they could. Do you want to leave Esme and Carlisle exposed like that? _No_, this is the best way to protect them, and they'll have the supplies that I'll need for the trip to New York."

She said the last part under her breath just to me.

"We both know that we owe them a proper goodbye."

As usual, her logic was dead on. My stomach was tied up in knots. I'd had enough planning for one day. I swept Bella up into my arms and asked Colonel Swan which bedroom we were using for the night.

"You need to rest and ice down your legs."

Bella could see that we both had enough for one afternoon and relented for once without further argument.

oo!OO!oo

After dinner, I climbed into bed beside Bella. She pulled her arms around me and kissed my chest and neck. Even despite her caress, I couldn't take my mind off the uncertainty that lay ahead.

Bella paused to look up at me. When I continued my blank stare, she propped herself on her elbow and looked deep into my eyes.

"This is going to work, you know."

"You're a very capable operative. You already know that, but you're also my wife and Serena's mother. I need to protect you, and this plan is very dangerous."

"Do you remember what you told me on our picnic at the 108th? You said you wanted to tell our children how I helped stop the Nazis before they could hurt our soldiers."

I nodded but didn't see where she was heading.

"I want to be worthy of that for her. Rooting out this traitor _is_ something I can do before I go home to her. I want this war to end, Edward. I don't want anyone else to be killed needlessly. I can do this small part to make sure the Nazis never step foot on British or American soil. Finishing this is a way to keep her safe; it's a small way to keep all of us safe, Edward."

I was stunned by the sincerity and bravery of her words.

"You truly are amazing. Do you know that?"

"I know I'm strong enough because of you."

I pulled her closer to me and stroked her long, brown waves and tried to settle into sleep.

_Bella's barracks were silent except for the sound of our breathing. I was lying on her bed, fully dressed with Bella resting silently in my arms. I twisted my wedding band around my finger. It still felt a little strange to wear it after keeping our marriage secret for months. There was no reason to hide anything now. _

_I stared at the ceiling almost numb to the pain. Every few seconds, I would pick my head up from her pillow to kiss the brown waves at the top of her head. Time seemed to be slipping through my fingers as if I were grasping for the rope of a well bucket that went crashing down toward the water. I couldn't find the end of the rope to stop it. I could only wait helplessly to hear the bucket splash, never to be pulled up again. _

_Then the sound sadly came to me. It was Big Ben. His chime called out, announcing it was 8:45. I sat up and pulled Bella to me. I gave her a kiss that was full of longing and fear and determination all at the same time. This kiss would be our private goodbye only for us to share. I wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled her into my embrace, tucking my head into her hair to memorize the feel of her arms around me and the scent of her hair. I took one last, long breath and rose from the bed. I swung my duffel bag over my shoulder never letting go of her hand. Bella dropped her head and closed the door behind us. We walked slowly almost hesitantly down to the line of troop transport trucks. The engines were already running, making our goodbye deafened by a thunderous roar. I froze at the edge of the walkway, pulling Bella close. I whispered into her ear, "Survive for me." I pulled her face into my hands and kissed her feverously one last time. I ran to my truck and felt the hands of other soldiers hoisting me over the edge. I turned back once more to see Bella's face. I needed to see her eyes calling me back to her someday. I searched through the crowd but couldn't find her face. She was at the edge of the road a minute ago. I scanned for her furiously, darting my eyes up and down the row of buildings. _

_At last I found the edge of her skirt tucked back against the brick wall of the third building. Big Ben began to chime again and all of the vehicles were suddenly shifted into gear. The jolt rocked all of us, and we staggered slightly from the heavy truck's lurch. I grabbed the lining bar in front of me to keep from falling over and started searching for Bella again. She had moved…_why? _ I knew she would want to wave goodbye. I saw the edge of her brown waves moving north toward an alley between the buildings, but I didn't catch her eyes. She wasn't walking. It looked more like she was being dragged along. Then I saw him. It was the German soldier from Dagnaw. He looked the same, filthy from head to toe, with a bandaged left arm. He was holding a knife to her throat. My truck moved forward, pulling me away from her. NO! I screamed out in terror, trying to jump over the side to rescue her before it was too late. _

_N-O-O-O-O-O! I screamed out in agony as I felt cool hands trying to pull me back into the truck._

"Edward! _EDWARD!_"

I felt the cool hands again pulling against my chest. I opened my eyes to find myself in a dark room. It was night, and Bella's arms were around my chest. She reached up for my face and pulled herself around me to straddle my waist. Her eyes stared deeply into mine.

"It's okay, baby. You're safe."

It took me another minute to realize that we were in Colonel Swan's quarters. I grabbed her waist and behind her neck and crushed her to me. I was panting in fear and trying desperately for gasps of air to catch my breath.

"I was dreaming about the day I left for the front," I rasped. "Only this time was different; the soldier we killed in Dagnaw had you. He was trying to kill you, and I couldn't reach you."

I pulled my hand over my forehead, through my hair and down the back of my neck. I took more deep breaths to try to settle myself. Bella gently pushed against my chest to lower me back down to the bed. She was leaning over me. One hand on the pillow beside my head, the other was stroking my cheek with the back of her hand.

"Better?" she asked.

My eyes grew wide. I couldn't respond. I pulled her down to my chest cradling her in my arms.

"Talk about something else, anything," I whispered into her hair. My mind kept racing through ways to escape the truck and rescue her from the German soldier. "I just need something to distract me right now."

"Okay," Bella began.

She sat up and moved to switch places with me. I settled between her legs, wrapping my arms around her waist. My cheek rested against Bella's flat abdomen while her fingers trickled through my hair. The motions relaxed me, and I let out a shuddered sigh.

"Do you know why I named her Serena?" she asked.

I lifted my head from her stomach, turning it so that my chin rested gently over her navel. I just shook my head no.

"The three most important women in my life have been my mother, Renee, Alice and Siobhan. I thought it only fitting that she be named after them. My mother had a kind soul and always made me smile. Without her, I would have never known what it was like to be carefree and happy. Every child should have that, at least for a little while. Without Alice, I would have never made it through my teenage years. My father didn't know what to do with me; it was Alice who taught me the finer aspects of being a woman. She's my best friend. And without Siobhan's selfless intervention, we wouldn't have had a beautiful courtship or a wedding."

We both smiled remembering those happy moments and I lifted my chin to place gentle kisses around her navel.

"So you see, I wanted our daughter to be the best of each of them."

_**Si**_obhan – _**Ren**_ee – _**A**_lice = _Serena_.

"But there's another reason I gave her that name, Edward. She was my serenity. My little bit of peace after the bombing. She gave me another reason to fight; I needed to protect her until she was strong enough to survive on her own. She was a tangible piece of you that I carried with me. She needed me in order to survive. I wouldn't let either of you down."

I shook my head again wondering how she had the strength to survive it all. I placed kisses all over her torso, loving her with my actions when words failed me.

Bella wrapped her arms around me tighter but gave me a few more minutes to settle myself.

"Does this happen a lot, the nightmares?"

I still couldn't quite talk; I just shook my head no. This wasn't about the war. It was only about the trip to back to the 108th and taking the boat back to New York.

"It's going to be okay," she said stroking my face. "We'll keep everyone safe."

She thought I was worried only about the informant. That was only one rung on the ladder of my anxiety. But she was right.

_Somehow, I _would_ find a way to keep her safe._

_

* * *

_

**The Last Breath**

**Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **15 - Surrender

* * *

**Story reference: **Colonel Swan tells Edward and Bella that they're boarding the Queen Mary for New York on Monday, November 13th.

**Historical Significance: **Embarkation schedule for the Queen Mary, **November 13 to November 19**

**Embarkation/Debarkation: **Gourock, Scotland to New York, NY  
**Units on Board:** **2,477 passengers** & 1,076 crew  
**Convoy Number:** None known  
**Source: **S. Harding - _Gray Ghost: The RMS Queen Mary at War_

**Source: **http:/www(dot)ww2troopships(dot)com/ships/q/queenmary/crossings1944(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward fights with Colonel Swan about putting Bella on the QE. The bounty is too high.

**Historical Significance: **$250K bounty offered by Adolph Hitler to any U Boat captain who could sink the RMS Queen Mary.

**Source:** http:/www(dot)google(dot)com/search?hl=en&num=50&q=RMS+Queen+Mary+1944&aq=f&oq=&aqi=

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward wants to wait for a medical transport back to New York. Colonel Swan explains that none of the three ships in operation are traveling through London

**Historical Significance: **The initial 3 Hospital Ships ordered by the Army, and allowed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff only became available **mid-1944 – they were named ****'USAHS Comfort' (entered service Jun 44), ****'USAHS Mercy' (entered service Aug 44), and ****'USAHS Hope' (entered service Sep 44)**

**Source: **The second website provides the transport dates and locations by ship.

http:/med-dept(dot)com/hosp_ships(dot)php

http:/ww2troopships(dot)com/knownships_gm(dot)htm#m

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella describes her idea to disguise herself as an ill soldier. She will pin up her brown hair or cut it off to make the trip on the QE.

**Historical Significance: **The sidehat was part of the military headgear worn during WWII.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)snyderstreasures(dot)com/pages/headgear(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Colonel Swan describes a call he'll make to Captain regarding Bella's disguise as a TB patient on the QE.

**Historical Significance: **Commodore Bisset was the captain of the Queen Elizabeth until March 11, 1946.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)google(dot)com/search?hl=en&num=50&q=RMS+Queen+Mary+1944&aq=f&oq=&aqi=

http:/ww2troopships(dot)com/ships/q/queenmary/cruiserecord1944(dot)htm

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	16. Chapter 16 Fishing

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

* * *

Fishing

Colonel Swan shook each of our hands before we climbed into the ambulance.

"Be smart. Keep your senses attuned to the situation at hand; don't let down your guard until you're on that boat."

I nodded but knew that I wouldn't let my guard down until we were firmly back on U.S. soil.

Colonel Swan turned to Bella and me directly.

"Take care of each other," he said firmly. "I want to see you again."

Then he handed Bella a slip of paper.

"This is a secure line. Leave a message when you get to New York. The second number is to call in for additional instructions. Call it once a day until you get new orders."

What Colonel Swan meant was, _call in every day until we kill the mole._

I nodded and saluted him with Jasper and Seth. He hugged Bella tightly, a silent communication fell between them and then I hoisted her into the ambulance.

Jasper climbed into the driver's seat while Seth and I hopped in the back. I swung the doors shut from the inside and pounded on the window at Jasper's back to go. It would take us about an hour to get to the checkpoint at Blakelands.

Bella was dressed as a soldier. To my great relief, she didn't cut her hair. She tucked it neatly into the sidehat and pinned it into place. We passed the time by playing cards. I think Seth must have been a card shark in a prior life. He won nearly every hand of poker.

"Seth, I need to teach you how to play craps."

Bella rolled her eyes, not wanting to contribute further to his corruption, but I thought he would be a natural. Bella quickly changed the topic.

"Seth, when did you join Ultra? Aren't you still too young?"

Seth's face lit up, showing he was as proud as a peacock of being in intelligence just as his father had wanted.

"Actually I turned eighteen in August. I enlisted right away and because of my experience with you during the SCU drops, I was accepted into intelligence training."

"And what have you learned?" Bella asked suspiciously.

"Lead with your head."

Seth looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry for the stunt I pulled in Dagnaw. It could have gotten all of us killed. I was just trying to prove myself."

"I'm glad we're all alive to talk about it," I replied, clapping Seth on the shoulder.

Bella was more interested in teaching than admonishing.

"Seth, what would you do differently if you were in the same situation again?"

Seth thought for a moment.

"I wouldn't try to go straight at him. That's the easiest position for him to defend. The victim…"

He paused to look hesitantly at Bella for calling her that but rallied to continue his analysis.

"The victim would be exposed to additional injury. The best approach would have been to distract the aggressor. _IF_ I had picked up the gun and moved with exaggeration to the soldier's right I would have distracted him enough to allow the lead," he paused to look up at me, "to attack undiscovered."

Bella nodded in approval.

"Very good now, what would you have done as the victim?"

"Watched for eye contact from my lead, if he had squinted, I would have known he intended to attack. If he then looked left it would indicate an upcoming attempt to distract so that I could run. If his eyes shifted right, we would attack simultaneously after his signal."

"What if you were alone?" she countered. "We always have a lead and a deputy on missions, but things happen."

"If I was being moved or dragged to a location, I would go limp and fall to the ground causing the attacker to stumble or fall over top of me. Then I would strike."

Before Bella could respond, I was jolted by Jasper's knock on the glass window. We were coming up to the security checkpoint.

Bella lay down on the gurney and I helped her pull her mask into place. I covered half of her with a bed sheet and sat opposite of her with Seth. I was dressed as a military doctor while Seth had on an orderly's uniform.

Jasper slowed down as we approached the checkpoint.

"Military ID and purpose of your trip."

"Medical transport to the 8th Convalescent Hospital at Stoneleigh Park."

"I need to see your patient."

I stiffened.

"You understand the transport order, correct? Be forewarned, he's contagious."

"Understood," he nodded with a sharp reply.

I heard Jasper's door swing open and then shut behind him. He walked to the back of the ambulance and turned the handle to open the door. Bella relaxed her shoulders as I edged forward to push the door open.

"Soldier." I nodded toward him.

"You're Dr. Banner?"

"Yes."

"How is your patient?"

"Weak, but resting for now."

The soldier climbed into the ambulance and leaned over Bella. She looked small and frail, even for a woman.

Bella fluttered her eyes and coughed. She managed a deep hacking cough that almost had _me _convinced she had TB. I frowned and the soldier took a half step backward. He leaned forward once more over Bella to look in her eyes.

"Get better, soldier," he directed.

Bella nodded weakly. The soldier turned and stepped down. He gave a quick nod to me, then Jasper closed the ambulance door behind him. I heard the soldier as he walked with Jasper toward the driver's door.

"Get your patient straight to the 8th, don't make any stops. We are on security alert level Bravo."

"Understood," Jasper responded as he shut the driver's door.

The engine roared and Jasper shifted into gear. The ambulance rocked forward. I watched Jasper return nod to the soldier as we drove off.

Bella flew upright and pulled the mask down from her face. She was beaming.

"I told you it would work."

"You call the response of one young soldier proof?"

Bella rolled her eyes.

"He was close enough to get a good look at me and he didn't flinch. His eyes didn't shift. There wasn't a hint of suspicion in his body language," she added smugly.

Bella swung her legs over the side of the gurney and grabbed my collar, pulling me close to her face.

"Admit it, it works."

"I'll admit it when we step foot on the dock in New York."

Bella clenched her jaw in frustration. She wanted me to be more positive. She pulled my collar forward so that her lips were at my ear.

"Keep the uniform."

I grinned not being able to help myself. Diversion was always her strength.

"I would have thought you'd be sick of doctors by now. Do you have a secret crush on Carlisle that I don't know about?"

"Maybe," she snorted.

Bella managed to pull me from my pessimistic scowl. I shook my head to regain some composure. I leaned against the window so that both Jasper and Seth could hear me at the same time.

"When we get to the 8th, pull into the ambulance bay at the back of the building. There will be a nurse there at the registration desk, ignore her. Slide Bella out on the stretcher and I'll order you to take her to the burn unit. I'll tell the nurse to get Carlisle and bring him to the empty room across from Bella's. Walk straight down the hall and toward the elevator on the left. Hold the doors for me and I'll direct you to the room."

I spent the remainder of the trip with Bella's hand clasped in mine. Despite her brave front, I knew she had to be worried too. Colonel Swan had given us a stock of weapons and ammunition for the trip. I just prayed that we wouldn't have to use them.

The ambulance rolled around the long, winding driveway. Jasper pulled into the left bay. Bella resumed her position, lying down on the green felt stretcher with the mask in place and a blanket covering her from the waist down. I tucked her frail fingers beneath the blanket and kissed her forehead. Jasper opened the door and I nodded to Seth. We hoisted Bella and I placed the end of the stretcher into Jasper's outstretched hands. Seth took the other end of Bella's stretcher after he climbed out of the ambulance. I turned to grab the duffel bag of munitions and placed the admission orders on top. An icy, foreboding chill went through me as I slammed the doors of the ambulance shut. Colonel Swan's words sounded again in my head. _Keep your senses sharp._

We walked toward the entrance. I held the doors for them to pass through. Just as I had expected, a nurse at the reception desk stared wide eyed at us. This was supposed to be an emergency transport so I made my voice sound confident but urgent.

"Take him to the burn ward," I barked at Jasper and Seth.

The nurse scrambled around the desk to reach the patient, but Jasper and Seth had already passed. I cut her off before she could follow them. I shoved a copy of the order in her hand before she could speak

"We have an emergency transport from the ETOUSA field hospital in London. Find Dr. Cullen and have him come to room 106.

"Room 106 is full. There is a room that's temporarily vacant across the hall. It's been cleaned, but we'll need to have the personal effects collected."

"That's fine; Dr. Cullen will have someone come to pick them up later." I walked backwards and held my palms up directing her to stop following me. "Please get him now," I ordered.

Jasper and Seth were holding the door for me as planned. The doors shut behind me and I sighed in frustration. I didn't want her to be in her regular room. It would be too convenient for someone who had performed any kind of surveillance or who had her hospital records to find her. We would have to make it work for now. I held the door to Bella's room open and Jasper and Seth carried her in and placed her on the bed. Bella lay still with the mask still in place until Carlisle arrived. I motioned to Jasper and Seth to sit on either side of the door. I positioned myself in front of her and waited. A gush of air hit us as the door flew open. Carlisle appeared in a mask with Esme at his side. Jasper immediately moved between us but recognized Carlisle immediately and relaxed his stance. The door closed behind him and he motioned to Seth to stand down.

Carlisle caught sight of me and a puzzled but relieved look appeared on his face.

"Edward?"

I nodded.

"Is anyone out in the hall or following you to check on the new patient?"

"No. We're the only ones on call in the burn unit. Mike's shift starts later tonight."

"What is this? I don't understand."

"There's been an intelligence leak," I explained. "Bella and I are on a list of operatives that's fallen into enemy hands. Two former operatives were found murdered earlier this week."

Bella was sitting up and pulling down her mask. She stiffened at the news. I turned to her.

"Colonel Swan told me yesterday afternoon while you were resting."

I turned back to Carlisle.

"We need to have Bella call Colonel Swan's office right away. We need to get her to a phone. It has to be her voice they hear over the line. We're trying to draw out the informant by planning a false meeting."

Carlisle thought for a minute.

"Is anyone supposed to know she's returned?"

"The informants will know once Colonel Swan has his staff send you phony telegrams, but I'd rather not give out any information before we have to."

Carlisle turned to Bella.

"First, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

He eyed her, taking in her posture and the sound of her breathing.

"All right. Stay as you're dressed and we'll bring you a wheelchair." He nodded to Esme who turned to leave the room. "Your '_orderly' _here can wheel you down to Dr. Banner's office at the end of the hall. Take your mask off, you'll be less conspicuous."

"You're going to stay here, right?" He turned to me.

"No. I'm going with her."

"It doesn't take two doctors and an orderly to push one patient down the hall."

"Edward, he's right," Bella answered. "The staff in this ward will recognize you and Jasper as well. Seth and I are both armed. We'll do this quickly."

"Ready, Seth?"

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded.

"Wait!" I ordered. "We're not waiting in here. We'll stay outside the room and keep our backs turned toward anyone who passes by in the hall. Hand me that chart."

Bella recognized the urgency in my voice and just nodded. Esme returned with a wheelchair and Bella climbed off the bed and into it hanging her head. Esme covered her in a blanket and smiled widely at her, taking her cheeks in her hands.

"It's good to see you."

Bella's smile answered warmly. She reached up to press one of Esme's hands against her cheek.

"It's good to see you, too."

Then she nodded at Seth.

"Let's go."

Seth and Carlisle wheeled Bella out of the room and down the hall. My heart pounded fiercely in my chest. Not ten seconds later I nodded to Jasper and we left the room to stand in the hall. I watched Bella and Seth out of the corner of my eye. They shut the door behind them. The agony of minutes passed as I assessed the risks in my head. I was nearly pacing back and forth when Jasper put a rough hand on my shoulder. He stared at me to convey that I needed to calm down. He was right of course. I was drawing more attention to us than necessary.

"We need to plan patrols. We'll take two hour shifts. Once Colonel Swan sends out the telegrams they'll know she's here. They could decide to take us out before the meeting with Colonel Swan in the morning. We have to be ready for that."

Jasper nodded.

"They'll expect us to be alone. Having you and Seth here gives us an advantage. We need an 'excuse' to have one of us mulling around in the hall at all times."

"Repair work?" Jasper suggested.

I shook my head. Bella would help us think of something. Before I could finish my thought, Seth was pushing Bella down the hall. I sighed a bit in relief but kept watch until she was safely in the room.

"I need to examine Bella," Carlisle said authoritatively.

Jasper and Seth excused themselves to wait in the chairs outside her door. I handed Jasper the chart to use as a prop and told them to figure out a schedule.

Bella undressed while Esme helped her slip into a gown. She froze at the sight of the knife strapped to Bella's thigh.

"It's that bad?" she asked.

"Yes," Bella replied. "We'd rather you stayed at the hospital tonight in case they try to go after you to barter in trade for one of us."

They agreed.

"Esme, please get some ice for Bella."

"She's swelling again?" I asked.

"Yes. But it's not unexpected, just something we have to watch."

"Watch how?"

I would have to be the one who watched her from now on; I needed to know how to care for her after we left.

"If the swelling goes down and her skin cools when she's not on her feet, then it's a normal reaction to redeveloping her muscles. If the skin gets overly taught and the swelling doesn't go down after a couple of hours of rest, that likely means there's a new infection. Have you been giving her the penicillin?"

"Yes," we both answered.

"Good. There's no fever and aside from looking a little worn out, I'd say you're in pretty good shape, Bella. I know this is a very stressful time, but try to get some rest. You'll need it for the trip ahead of you." Carlisle turned to me. "I'll get you enough penicillin for the trip home."

Esme returned with the ice and began wrapping Bella's legs. I helped her while Bella shivered from the cold. I took a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders and rubbed her briskly to keep her warm.

"She may need more than that. We're not going straight home. We'll be on a boat back to New York by the end of the week. We're going to find Serena."

Carlisle and Esme both stared at us in wide-eyed shock.

"She's alive," Bella answered.

"What? How?"

"She back in the U.S. with friends of my doctor from Mill Hill. He took Serena back to the States so that she wouldn't be a war orphan. No one expected me to survive the burns."

Carlisle sighed. "When you came to us in August, I wouldn't have expected it either. I'm glad we were all wrong."

His expression was warm and gentle. He cupped Bella's chin like a favored daughter.

"I'm sad you'll be leaving us so soon, but I know you're strong enough now. Promise you'll write and let us know when you find Serena. We'll want a picture too."

Carlisle knew he was saying goodbye.

"Bella, I'm going to sort out the surveillance with Jasper and Seth."

Bella met my eyes and nodded. She seemed to understand that I was giving her some time to say goodbye to Carlisle alone.

"Esme, do you have a minute?" I asked.

She followed me out of Bella's room.

"Do you remember the night that Jasper and I brought back the penicillin for Bella?"

"Yes, of course."

"Bella told me that you stayed just outside her room to be close by if she needed her."

Esme seemed to turn a little red in embarrassment.

"I didn't mean to –"

I cut her off with a wave of my hand before she could go any further.

"I wanted to know what you did to keep yourself awake and occupied that night. We need a cover that will allow one of us to stand guard outside her room all night."

"I brought files and charts to catch up on my paperwork."

"Perfect."

"Can you make up some dummy files for us to use tonight?"

"Sure, that won't be a problem. I'll go through the old files that are ready to be destroyed and will bring some to you."

I nodded.

"Jasper, take Seth and do a perimeter search of this floor. Be back in ten minutes. Do you understand?"

"Yes, corporal," they answered in quiet unison.

Carlisle pushed through Bella's door about a minute after Seth and Jasper left.

"How is she?" I asked in a serious tone.

"She's sleeping. I gave her a mild sedative to help her rest."

I knew this was too much for her.

"Do you think this is the right thing to do? Putting her on a boat for a week? Should we wait until she's stronger?"

"Edward, I don't know how much danger you're in by staying here. What I do know is that she's physically healthy enough to make the trip."

"Okay." I nodded.

"Carlisle, have you noticed anyone new here at the hospital in the last few days?"

"Edward, this is a hospital. We receive new patients all the time."

"What about new staff?"

"No, not that I'm aware of."

"I'm just trying to pick out anything suspicious. How do you receive telegrams?"

"They go to the hospital's administration office. Then they put them into my box. If they're urgent, someone on the staff will hand deliver them to me."

"Colonel Swan will be sending four telegrams. Each will be sent through a different member of his staff and will have a separate meeting location. Colonel Swan will set a trap at each location and hopefully, they'll have the mole in hand by tomorrow night."

"And if not?"

"If not, then Bella and I will be on a boat across the Atlantic. We'll call in when we get to New York to see if there is still a threat. If they haven't caught the mole, we'll find Serena and disappear. It may be a while before we can send you pictures. I'm sorry."

"I understand. I'll get the telegrams."

"Please bring them to me and I'll destroy them. We can't leave any evidence behind. I'll need Bella's medical records too."

Esme appeared from around the corner and walked toward us. Her arms were full of manila folders and loose papers. I met her and took half the stack from her arms.

"All of these were due to be destroyed. You can do whatever you need with them for now."

Seth and Jasper rounded the corner at the opposite end of the hall. I tensed, but Jasper shook his head. He had found nothing.

"Bella is good with a gun, but we can't let anyone through us."

The fact that it had come to this made me sick.

"We'll rotate on two hour shifts. Esme has some props to give us an excuse to stay out in the hall tonight. The only staff on tonight in this unit are Carlisle, Esme and an orderly named Mike. Bella is resting now. You two stay out here. I'm going find a change of clothes and do a sweep of the exterior."

I looked at Jasper first.

"Do you have this?"

"Yes, corporal."

I stared down Seth.

"Follow his lead. I should be back in an hour."

Seth nodded and I turned to find Carlisle. I met him leaving the administrative office on the first floor. He had slips of paper in his hand. We ducked into his office together.

"I need a change of clothes. I'm going to check out the grounds and I need something to help me blend in with the other staff."

Carlisle returned a few minutes later. I grabbed the proffered groundskeeper's uniform and quickly changed. I packed the doctor's clothes I was wearing in a bag to change into before I came back inside.

"We'll need four cots and some food for us tonight. Can you manage this without drawing attention?"

"Yes, Edward."

I took the four telegrams from Carlisle. I grabbed the metal trashcan from below his desk, while he fished around for a lighter in his desk drawer. My fingers tightened around the first telegram as I studied the message.

_**Army Message Received November 11, 1944**_

_**This C in C message has been received from Colonel Charles Swan, ETOUSA**_

_**– Message Begins – Hanslope Park 0730. – Message ends –**_

Hanslope Park was the site of our SCU drop. How would they know where to find him in Hanslope? Then it dawned on me, if they had the list of operatives, they probably had the drop off points as well. Colonel Swan was planning to flush it all out at once. I threw the telegram into the can along with the other three and flipped Carlisle's Zippo lighter. The paper caught quickly. I stared through the flames.

_Good fishing and God's speed, Colonel._

_

* * *

_

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **16, Fishing

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**Story reference:** Edward mentions teaching Seth how to play craps on the drive from London back to the 8th Convalescent hospital

**Historical Significance: **'World War II was the glory time for the game of craps. Sailors and soldiers and private citizens in the cities of America loved the game. From South to North, young men played it with abandon.'

**Source: **http:/scoblete(dot)casinocitytimes(dot)com/article/is-craps-dying?-31679

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**Story reference: **Edward burns the telegram from Colonel Swan creating the trap for the mole at Hanslope Park

**Historical Significance: **Radio and cryptography

Special Communications Units (SCU's) were highly mobile and the first such units used civilian Packard cars(dot) The following SCUs are listed:[14] SCU1 (Whaddon Hall), SCU2 (France before 1940, India), SCU3 (Hanslope Park)SCU5, SCU6 (possibly Algiers and Italy), SCU7 (training unit in the UK), SCU8 (Europe after D-day), SCU9 (Europe after D-day), SCU11 (Palestine and India), SCU12 (India), SCU13 and SCU14.[15]

**Source: **http:/www(dot)answers(dot)com/topic/ultra-91

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**A/N:** Its still a little early, but any guesses on who the mole is?

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	17. Chapter 17 Prey

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

**_Warning: _**This chapter contains violence. This chapter may be tough to read, parts of it were certainly tough to write.

* * *

Prey

I pulled a cap down to cover my eyes and walked through the doors to the circular driveway. The grounds-keeper's shed was exactly as Carlisle had described it across the back lawn. I went inside and grabbed a rake to use as a prop. I started at the east entrance, raking around the bushes and checking for open windows on the first floor. I was methodical, checking everything as I made my way around the building and back to the ambulance bay. The wind whipped and I turned as I heard the crackle of leaves from the ground behind me. I reached for my gun. One hand still held the rake while the other paused at my hip. Nothing moved. I waited several long minutes before continuing to make my way around to west side of the building. All the while I continued raking leaves and checking windows. After turning the final corner, I pushed on the last window. It slid inward. I stared into what looked like a medical supply room.

After changing back into the doctor's uniform, I slid the duffel bag into the ambulance and pulled out a clipboard and some more papers to use as props. I strode quickly through the emergency entrance, granting the nurse at the registration desk a curt nod. She didn't stop me when she noticed the speed of my progression past her desk. Her eyes flashed for a moment before returning to her work. I followed the hall, tracing my hand along the outer doorways, counting the entrances until I reached what I believed to be the supply room entrance. I pushed on the door with a hand in my pocket and fingers laced around my gun.

The room was dimly lit by the twilight of a November setting sun. Rows of shelves were lined with cleaning supplies, mops, sponges and brooms of assorted sizes. Upon first glance nothing looked out of order. Everything was pristine; so perfect it was almost unnerving. I walked over to the window and turned down the handle, locking it in place. For an extra measure of security, I set a metal bucket on the ledge. If an intruder decided to break the window to gain entrance, he would knock the bucket and its contents onto the floor. My hope was that the commotion would be loud enough to force a would-be assassin to a second entrance and off of his plan. After setting my noisemaker, I turned to find an orderly's uniform on the bottom rack of the shelves. I picked up the outfit gauging the height and weight of a man who would fill them -_likely my height, not as tall as Jasper_.

I made my way back up to Bella's floor to find Jasper diligently scrawling across the back of a chart. The tension left his body as soon as his eyes met mine. He stood as we looked over the chart ready to plan out the timeline.

"I'm certain there's an operative here."

Jasper tensed, but I continued. I grimaced realizing how green he was to this. _Shit. _Seth was even worse; how had Colonel Swan allowed us to be protected by pups?

I looked Jasper squarely in the eye. "Can you handle this?"

He stiffened at my words. "Yes, Edward."

I nodded.

"Okay. I found an unlocked window outside of the supply closet on the first floor. I secured it and set a bucket on the windowsill. It won't hamper anyone's entrance, but it may make them think twice about the noise and drawing attention to themselves. I also found an orderly's uniform on a shelf when it had no business being in there. Judging by the size of the uniform, the operative will be about my size and build."

Jasper tensed again and this time I could read exactly what he was thinking.

"I know. I want to leave now too, but we can't travel in an ambulance at night. The trip is too long and too dangerous. I can't risk that for any of us. We just have to wait it out until morning. Like I said earlier, they're only expecting Bella and me to be here, that gives us an advantage."

"I still don't like the odds. I feel like we're sitting ducks."

"We'll be on guard and ready," I promised as I stared down at his scrawl. "What have you worked up for a schedule?"

"Two hour shifts. You'll go first at eight, followed by me and then Seth. We'll rotate cots throughout the night so that the one taking the next shift is closest to the door to help out the man on guard if necessary. Carlisle and Esme will stay in Bella's room with us to avoid them becoming targets or pawns themselves."

"Good, where are the others right now?"

"Carlisle went to get us some food and the supplies Bella will need for the trip. Bella is resting. Esme and Seth are setting up the cots in her room. I've been on guard, waiting for you." Jasper's methodical mind abruptly switched gears. "What time can we leave in the morning?"

"Colonel Swan will be at Hanslope at 0730. The mole will be expecting us to leave at 0600. That's when we'll leave, only we'll veer north toward Gourock. The trip should take us about ten hours, but that will still allow plenty of time to get on the boat and be ready for embarkation at midnight." I ran my hand back and forth along my jaw. "Jasper, with what I found downstairs, I don't expect them to wait until tomorrow morning to try to ambush us. I think it will be tonight."

"I know."

oo!OO!oo

At midnight, I moved to the cot closest to the door inside Bella's hospital room as Seth took the point position outside. I settled into an uneasy half sleep, waking at every sound of motion from inside or outside the room. My mind wandered over the trip tomorrow and how I could keep Bella safe on a boat filled with nearly twenty five hundred soldiers. Over and over my mind raced through different scenarios, but all ended badly. I rolled over to my side resigning myself to remain awake for Seth's entire shift. Twenty minutes later I felt my eyes begin to grow heavier. The events of the day were finally catching up to me. My eyes had just flitted closed when I heard Seth's voice in a distant murmur.

"_Are you Mike?"_

"_Yeah."_

It took me a half second to process that the voice on the other side of the door was not the same voice of the orderly who I'd seen nearly every day for the last two months.

_Fuck._

Like a lightning strike, I was through the door and staring at a set of familiar ice blue eyes. It took me a moment to place the man before me, but I knew him.

_James. _

He was another operative, a very dangerous one. He was talented in surveillance and reconnaissance - the perfect tracker. He held Seth by the throat pressing a knife against his jugular. The bloodlust was pouring out of the man before me. His distinct Aryan features hit me like a ton of bricks. And in that moment, I saw the hatred in his eyes. James was undoubtedly a double.

I squinted at Seth, but James immediately read my signal. He pressed the knife against Seth's throat slicing against his skin as my body lunged and crashed against him. Seth's hands flew up against his neck as the red fluid poured forth from his wound. His motions were frantic and he began to gasp for air. James and I fought for control until Jasper collided with us on the ground. Together we subdued James pinning his arms behind him. He started screaming obscenities, but Jasper slammed his head against the linoleum, knocking him out cold.

I flew over to Seth, screaming out for Carlisle to help him. My fingers pressed against the two inch gash in his neck desperately trying to hold back the blood pouring out from him. Seth flailed beneath my grasp. I stared into his eyes willing him to trust me, to hang on just a little longer. Carlisle was by my side in an instant replacing my fingers with his own to cover the wound. In the haze of my mind, I heard him barking out orders to Esme to find a gurney. We lifted Seth's body onto it and I ran my fingers over the top of Seth's hair, promising him it would be okay. Seconds later, Esme and Carlisle were running through the hall, pushing Seth toward the elevators to take him to the emergency room. My body shuddered beneath me before I remembered the assassin lying on the ground beneath Jasper's iron grasp. Together we dragged him into Bella's room.

I heard her scream and immediately looked around the room for a second assassin.

"Edward!" she cried.

I realized from the panicked look in her eyes that she thought I was injured. Seth's blood stained my hands and my clothes, covering me in a ghastly red veneer.

"I'm fine, Bella," I soothed. "It was Seth he hurt," I said, nodding toward James' unconscious form. "Carlisle is working on him now."

I swallowed instinctively as Bella dropped her head and closed her eyes. I pushed all of my conscious thoughts about Seth to the back of my mind. We still didn't know what danger remained lurking outside. The fear that another would come for Bella tonight pushed me through my haze.

I crawled beneath her bed to remove the rope that tied the trundle together. I threw it toward Jasper and together we secured James to the trundle binding him as tightly as possible.

"I'm going to search the rest of the floor and the grounds. Jasper, you stand guard outside. Bella, where's your gun?"

The sound of my voice jolted her from her silent prayer. She reached beneath her covers and brandished her service arm. I walked over, placing my hand on her bed and staring directly into her eyes.

"If he moves, shoot him. I don't care what kind of information you _think_ you can get out of him later. If he moves, I want him dead."

My jaw tensed. The sound of my order rang in my head. I was the lead, commanding her to follow my orders. Bella read my expression and nodded once quickly. I ripped off my coat, ridding myself as quickly as possible of the excess blood. I reached over and grabbed Bella's face between my hands. I pressed a frantic kiss against her lips and then tuned, streaming through the door. My mind raced, wondering where a second assailant might lurk. I retraced my steps around the burn unit until I reached the west stairs leading down to the lower floors. I checked the supply room finding the bucket and orderly's uniform untouched.

As I escaped through the emergency room doors, I overhead Carlisle barking out orders in an effort to save Seth's life. I prayed that Carlisle's years of experience would serve him well tonight.

Once I was outside, the cold November wind hit me like a wave of needles. I was hyper aware of every sound and every movement surrounding me. The reality of our situation hit me once again.

_James was one of our own; he knew all of our procedures and tactics. How can I protect her against an enemy who already knew how to undermine all of our defenses?_

I scanned the grounds, fearing for Bella's life. I knew I was outmatched. James was a brilliant tracker. I knew I would only find more obvious clues. Despite an hour of searching, I found nothing. _Could James have been working alone?_

If Bella hadn't killed him yet, I would have to go back and find out.

I re-entered the building deciding to take the east stairway back to the third floor this time. Halfway up the staircase, I found him. His body was stripped down to his shorts and undershirt. A pool of blood lay beneath his chin. The wound was a much longer and deeper version of the one that had befallen Seth an hour earlier. I leaned forward to feel for a pulse, knowing I wouldn't find one. I swallowed down my sorrow and gently shut his cold eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mike. I'll never forget what you did to help my wife."

The buttons of my shirt slipped through my fingers. I wrenched it off of me and covered Mike's face and part of his torso. As I lay it over the fallen man, I realized that the wound was inflicted in the same way James cut into Seth, from behind and left to right.

_James did this._

Jasper breathed a sigh of relief when he saw me come around the corner. The dejection I felt showed in both my movements and expression. Jasper stared me down, waiting for the news.

"The orderly for the burn unit is dead. I just found him in the east stairwell. His throat was slit. I didn't find anything else on the grounds. I think James may have been working alone."

"He may be alone tonight, but he definitely wasn't on his own. I suspect he was here to take you and Bella out tonight before going after Colonel Swan tomorrow."

I nodded in agreement. I left Jasper in the hall to return to Bella. She sat stoically propped up against the white metal rails of her hospital bed. Her fingers curled around the handle of her gun. Bella stared up at the ceiling after seeing me enter the room.

"Thank God," she exhaled.

She reached out for me and I quickly took her in my arms.

"I think James was here alone tonight. I've swept the grounds and found nothing."

I suddenly sobered up realizing that wasn't completely true. Bella read the change in my body language pulling back and searching my eyes for answers.

"Bella…" I swallowed. "Mike's dead."

She closed her eyes, taking the full weight of tonight on her shoulders alone.

"Any word on Seth?" I asked.

Bella shook her head no. I looked over at James' still form tied to the trundle.

"He's still breathing, so I assumed he hasn't moved," I spat.

Before I could utter another word, Carlisle pushed through the door with Esme trailing closely behind. Carlisle looked relieved to see both of us alive and unharmed. I stood and steeled myself to deliver the verbal blow.

"Carlisle, Esme, I found Mike in the stairwell. _I'm sorry_."

I didn't need to say anymore. Esme gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Carlisle wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders.

"How's Seth?" Bella pled. "He's going to be okay, isn't he?"

"He's alive. The knife cut into his windpipe, but they were able to repair most of the damage. He's heavily sedated but resting for now. Jasper helped me contact his next of kin. They'll be arriving in the morning to take him to a hospital in London."

"Carlisle, Seth's father is a powerful man in British intelligence. He has senior level connections within MI6. I'm confident he'll have the entire hospital secure by morning. In the meantime, I want to find out whatever we can from James."

Carlisle nodded.

"We need to take some precautions before we wake him up. He's extremely dangerous. I need you to have a sedative on hand to knock him out until morning if it becomes necessary."

Twenty minutes later, James was shouting obscenities while Jasper applied an increasing amount of pressure to a pain point in his neck.

"Let's try this again. Tomorrow you will be shot on sight as a traitor to the United States. If you'd like to try to spare your meaningless life, you'll tell us who was helping you."

"I bet she's a beautiful fuck," James sneered. His eyes darted toward Bella and he licked his lips. "I watched her riding you in her barracks just before Colonel Swan shipped your ass off to the front."

My fury unhinged and I punched James sending a stream of blood flying from his mouth. He cackled, getting exactly the response he wanted from me.

Bella leaned forward, sizing up James.

"You know why they're coming after us now?" she asked me thoughtfully. "They're losing and they want to try to take out our intelligence efforts in a last ditch effort to stop the inevitable. But we're too smart and too strong." Bella ran the tip of her finger under James' chin, forcing him to look into her eyes as she spoke. "All of _you _will cower as we free Europe from your clutches."

"Fuck you, that's never going to happen," he spat.

Bella took James by the throat, forcing his eyes to meet hers. "Who's going to stop us?" she countered trying to use his anger against him to gather more intelligence.

"We're taking you out one by one," he roared. "If not me, then it will be one of the others who are silently waiting for orders."

Bella shook her head.

"Let me guess, you're former Abwehr, now working for the Sicherheitsdienst?" she mocked. "You're just a pawn in the game, James; we're exorcising you from the inside out."

James tensed slightly before returning to his smug mask. Bella was getting to him.

"How do you think we found you so quickly? How else would we have known you had been planted here tonight? Your own organization is steeped in double agents starting at the very top. Any guesses why Admiral Canaris was suddenly dismissed, James?"

Wilhelm Canaris was the former head of the Abwehr, one of two military intelligence organizations in Germany. It was widely suspected that he had been undermining the Nazi efforts and secretly helping the Allies. Perhaps that was why he had been removed from his command back in February. I had no idea if Bella was bluffing or not, but her words pulled the trigger on James' composure.

"You lie," he screeched lunging at my wife. Jasper and I pinned him back, holding his throat as he screamed. "She'll kill him tomorrow; your precious Colonel Swan won't live to see another sunset."

Carlisle jabbed the syringe into his shoulder, slamming the plunger down. Carlisle's words were the last ones James heard before succumbing to the sedative. "_We will end this war."_

Bella was panicking; she tried to push past me to keep James conscious. She wanted more information from him about the mole. She buried her head in her hands as Jasper and Carlisle dragged James' unconscious body from the room.

"Edward, we need to know who it is." She gasped, pulling at my collar. "We have to warn my fa-."

My head snapped up as I pulled Bella back from my chest. "Your father? Were you about to call him your father?"

The foundation of my life with Bella shook at that moment.

A stream of images sped across my mind like photographs. Colonel Swan accusing us of having a secret relationship, his face full of masked anguish when I left for the front, the desperation in his eyes when he told me Bella lay dying, the relieved and chagrined expression on his face when we returned from Harrow…

_Colonel Swan was Bella's father? _

"Edward," Bella began.

Her voice yanked me from the flashes. I stepped out of her grasp, stunned. The disbelief was painted across my face.

_Bella lied to me?_

Bella lunged for me; I stepped back in time to catch her before she tumbled completely out of bed. This time she wouldn't let go. Her fingers clawed at my shirt, pulling me tightly to her until her eyes met mine.

"Edward, please you have to let me explain."

"Explain what? You lying to me for the last year and a half? You keeping this from me when I've told you everything, every secret, every dream my heart ever kept? How are you supposed to explain that to me?"

I pulled back again, but Bella wouldn't let go, her legs dragged against the floor as she tightened her grasp on me.

"No, you have to understand. I won't let you lose faith in me."

I collapsed to the floor, Bella falling over top of me. She kept hold of my shirt while I buried my head in my hands. My body shook as I tensed every muscle trying to set things back in balance with the woman I loved with my every breath.

"Try," I begged her as I ran the palms of my hands over my eyes and down my face.

"Edward, after my mother died, Charlie dragged me around the country from one military base to the next. When I turned thirteen, he was stationed at Fort Meade in Maryland. That was how I met Alice. Three years later, just before the start of the war, Charlie was given orders to go to London. I refused to go with him. I was a stubborn, willful teenager who knew nothing of war. I'm sure he recognized that it would be safer for me if I stayed in the States. So he left and I went to live with Alice's family until I turned eighteen.

I did a lot of growing up in two years. I missed Charlie desperately, but more importantly, I came to realize what my father was fighting for and why. I wanted to use my language skills to support the war effort. On my eighteenth birthday I officially changed my last name to Dwyer, my mother's maiden name. I went up to Baltimore and joined the Office of Strategic Services (OSS). After I completed my training, I requested a transfer to ETOUSA in London to support of British Intelligence.

"Charlie about had a heart attack when Isabella Dwyer was introduced to him three months later. When he finally got me alone, he threatened to put me on the next boat back to the States. I told him that I was a legal adult and that I wasn't going anywhere. He cursed and screamed, saying it was too dangerous for me to be in intelligence and that as his daughter I would be marked for kidnapping or worse. So I played the only card I had that would make a difference with him. I told him that winning the war outweighed any single human life, even mine.

"He eventually conceded but with one unbreakable condition. That day, I vowed that I would keep our family ties a secret. Charlie said it was the only way he could keep me safe in a world of double agents.

"Edward, I kept a lot of secrets…I had to. I never told Charlie about our relationship or marriage. Even after you were shipped to the front, I never even told him I was pregnant."

"You never told me either," I shouted at her.

"What?"

Bella looked at me in stunned disbelief as tears streamed down her face.

"What do you mean what? Charlie told me you were pregnant and miscarried the day I showed up in his office two months ago."

"Edward, I wrote you every week. I told you about the baby growing and how I was feeling. I told you I wanted our child more than anything else because it was a part of you. It gave me hope, and I prayed it would do the same for you. I protected our baby with everything I had."

"Until the night of your last mission."

Bella's hand flew across my face. The sting of her fingertips lasted long after the echo of the crack sounded in my ears. I could see the hurt in her eyes. It was the most hateful thing I could ever say to her and I knew it. I felt like Bella betrayed me. I wanted her to feel some of the pain coursing through me at that moment.

I looked up at her tear stained face and realized I got my wish; my words had instantly scarred her more than the burns ever had.

She was in pain and this time it was all because of me. I accused her of choosing to put our child in danger. I willfully hurt her and right away I regretted it. I lunged forward pulling her chest against mine stroking her head and her hair wishing I could take it all back. Bella was alive, and so was our daughter and here I am punishing her for that? I loved her with all my heart. I had to trust that she did what she felt she needed to in order to keep herself and her father safe.

"I'm sorry." I shook as the words left my mouth. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

"Edward, I love you. I love Serena too. That night I had to go. I was the only operative who could have pulled off the cover. I knew it was huge risk to go at night, but I had to do it. I just prayed that it would all work out. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"I know, love, you did your job, just as I did mine. You going on the mission that night was no different than me leaving for the frontline. I didn't want to go, but I had to. It was hateful of me to place any of the blame for the bombing on you. I know you protected Serena with your life. You're both alive today because of it. You kept your vow to me…I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Edward, I will never lie to you again."

"I know, Bella. I love you."

"Until my last breath," she whispered into my shirt.

I held her close, wiping away her tears as she caressed my back and ran her fingers through my hair. We both mumbled more apologies and whispered kisses of love and forgiveness. Eventually I lifted her and placed her back in her bed. I gently ran my fingers over her face, imploring her to get a few hours of rest before the trip tomorrow.

"What are you thinking, Edward? I won't be able to sleep until I know this is settled for both of us."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I don't understand Colonel Swan. You're his only daughter. All the time you lay in agony in a hospital bed and he never came to visit you? Not once?"

"Edward, it wouldn't have helped either way. It would have only raised suspicions about our relationship. I loved my father, but I needed _you_."

"You have me now, Bella." I paused to lean down and kiss her lips. "You have me always."

* * *

**A/N:** My beta was mad at Bella at the end of this chapter, but I thought Edward was more in the wrong. There was a lot packed into this chapter including additional clues about the mole during James' interrogation. If this chapter didn't give it away, the identity of the mole will be revealed in Chapter 19.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **17** Title **Prey

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella goads James into offering information about the mole by using his connection to German spy rings.

**Historical Significance: **There were two competing espionage organizations in Germany during WWII, Abwehr and Sicherheitsdienst. The leader of the Abwehr, Wilhelm Canaris supported attempts to overthrow the Nazi regime and was linked to the July 20th plot to kill Hitler known as Operation Valkyrie.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Abwehr

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Sicherheitsdienst

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Wilhelm_Canaris

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella tries to explain to Edward why she kept Colonel Swan being her father a secret and how she came to join US WWII intelligence.

**Historical Significance: **Some history on the life of a real life American Spy, and member of the OSS, Virginia Thorpe.

**Source: **http:/americanhistory(dot)suite101(dot)com/article(dot)cfm/oss_female_spies_in_wwii 


	18. Chapter 18 Fare Thee Well

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

**A/N: **There are a number of photos and historical links at the end of this chapter. I was amazed to learn what these soldiers went through to get home.

* * *

Fare Thee Well

The rear doors of the ambulance slammed shut and seconds later Jasper slid into the driver's seat.

"Ready?" he called out toward me.

I nodded. "Let's go."

At precisely "o" six hundred three vehicles rolled down the long gravel driveway of the 8th Convalescent Hospital. The first carried James and four MI6 agents trained to kill him should he flinch in the wrong direction. The second carried Seth, his father, and two additional security detail guards. The last carried my Bella. Carlisle and Esme were there to ensure her health and Jasper and I would protect her. Without a second thought, I would give my life for hers.

A familiar wave of unease hit me as we pulled away from the hospital. I was taking Bella away from the only comfort she'd had since the bombing. I looked over my shoulder, giving one last glance toward the 8th. I found my wife here. I shuddered remembering her pale weak body lying in the burn unit the day I found her here. With everything that we'd been through this last year, it would be better said _that I found my life again here._

The hospital slipped from view and my gaze turned back toward the ambulance in front of us. It veered to the right as it turned out of the driveway carrying Seth and his father toward London.

_Safe trip, my friend._

Seth's father, Captain Winterbotham, had arrived early this morning. His face was full of tension and worry as he looked down upon his eldest son. Seth lay motionless in his stark hospital bed. Gauze and bandages covered the length of his wound. I had to turn away. The agony I saw in the captain's eyes reminded me all too well of the night we brought Bella the penicillin. The only thing that would ease the captain's pain was to see his son awake and responsive. Even Carlisle's assurances that Seth would survive the attack, weren't enough to put him at ease.

Despite the grave circumstances for the captain's arrival, the timing worked to our advantage. He decided that we would leave concurrently to distract any would be assailants. Even though we were all fairly certain that James was working alone last night, we weren't about to take any unnecessary chances.

I heard Esme's chuckle echo from the seat behind me, pulling me back from the unease of my thoughts. We were both very relieved that Carlisle and Esme agreed to make the trip to Gourock with us. Bella argued that it would be best if they returned to the States, but Carlisle wouldn't hear of it. He said that there were too many patients that needed him here and that he wouldn't feel right leaving the 8th until the war was over.

Even though they wouldn't return home with us, at least we knew that they were safe for the time being. The odds of an assassin coming after them were quite slim, still I prayed that Charlie would have the mole in hand by the time they returned to the 8th. Beyond my concerns about a mole, selfishly I just felt better knowing that both Carlisle and Esme would be by Bella's side until we reached the boat.

"What are your plans once you get to New York?" Esme asked.

"We'll call in for instructions and receive any new intelligence briefs. Once we know what the situation is at home, we'll make travel arrangements to take us to Indiana."

"You'll find her, Bella," Esme soothed.

I didn't hear Bella answer her, but I imagined Esme was comforting her like she always did.

"And when you find her," Esme said with a sniffle. "I want her to have this. It's from both of us."

I turned to glance through the small glass window that separated Jasper and me from the back of the ambulance. Bella was pulling on a white ribbon that cinched together the pink cloth surrounding a tiny package. As the bow unfurled, the fabric fell away revealing a small pink bunny with long floppy ears.

"Oh, Esme," Bella sighed clutching the bunny to her chest. "Thank you. I know she'll love it."

She leaned forward placing her arms around Esme's shoulders. She released Esme and turned to her doctor and friend. Carlisle slid forward off the bench and into Bella's tight embrace.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella, and Edward too."

oo!OO!oo

After ten hours and a few stops for food and fuel, Jasper pulled the ambulance over just outside of Gourock. Through the windshield, we could look down upon the small town and out into the bay. The November winds whipped and a long shiver ran down my spine. I glanced over toward Jasper, giving him a nod and hopped down from my seat. The handle of the ambulance door turned with a creaky moan. I scrambled into the back quickly and pulled the door shut behind me. The echo of the door slamming shut felt like an unwelcome omen.

My breath came and went quickly as I turned to find Bella's face staring back at mine. She did her best to mask her concern but I could read her better than anyone. She was lying on the bed while propped up on one forearm. Her hair was pinned neatly into the sidehat. I reached forward grasping her thigh as I pulled myself toward the back of the ambulance. I squeezed her skin over the blankets to reassure her before making my way toward Esme.

When her eyes met mine, Esme didn't speak, instead she just lifted her arms for me to meet her embrace.

Esme folded her chin down to touch my shoulder as I knelt before her and wrapped my arms around her small frame.

"Esme…" I choked.

"I know, Edward," she reassured me in an almost motherly fashion.

"Thank you," I whispered as I hugged myself closer to her. "I can never begin to thank you enough."

"She always had the will, Edward," she sobbed into my ear. "She just needed you to find her. Don't ever doubt what your love for one another can pull you through."

I nodded against her warm embrace. Esme released me from her arms and took my face between her hands. She slowly and gently kissed my cheek.

"Be good to her," she asked as she looked into my eyes.

I reached over to Bella and wiped away the tear falling down her face.

"With everything I have, Esme."

Esme nodded. I felt her shoulders droop a little as a few tears fell into her lap. We all knew this day would come. I never imagined it would be this hard to leave them. Carlisle sat on the bench to Esme's left and grasped her hand in his. He rubbed his thumb over her clasped hands catching a few of her tears as they fell in the process. His eyes met mine after a few moments and I struggled to find the words to express the gratitude I had for this man.

"I wouldn't have a life without her, Carlisle." The words came out in a strangled ache. "I don't have the words to begin to say how grateful I am to you. More than anything I'm thankful that you didn't give up on her, when others already had." My mind drifted to Dr. Varner, to Lauren Mallory and even to Charlie. "I know she wouldn't be here today if it weren't for you, Carlisle. You saved her, and in the process, you saved me too."

I stuck my hand out toward Carlisle. He ignored it and pulled me into an embrace.

"_You_ saved her Edward," he murmured as he clapped me tightly on the back before releasing me slightly. Carlisle held onto my arms tightly as he spoke. "She needed you to fight for; you came for her and that gave her the will to live."

"Oh, knock it off, you saps. You both saved me," Bella choked tearfully.

Her shoulders shook slightly as we all chuckled. Bella's wit amazed me. She had a way of calming me in any situation.

I leaned forward, once more hugging Carlisle tightly this time. I didn't like the foreboding feeling of our departure, and with the hell of war, one never knew what tomorrow would bring.

"Be safe, Carlisle," I pled.

"Until we meet again, my young friend."

Carlisle released me from his embrace and I turned toward my wife.

"Bella, I will see you later tonight."

She shook her head. "Edward, you don't need to come tonight. We disembark at midnight, and you may not even have a key to my room by then."

My jaw tensed as I looked determinedly into her eyes.

"I will see you tonight, Bella."

I reached forward to cup the back of her neck in my hands. My lips pushed forcefully against hers as I put all of my fears and anxieties into my embrace. A silent _I'm sorry,_ passed between us remembering the words and pain of last night. Bella's fingertips ran into my hair immediately soothing me and bringing me back to her warmth. My body relaxed and my grip loosened until I was placing reverent kisses in the corners of her mouth. I closed my eyes and met her soft lips once more for a long moment before releasing her.

"Your face is flushed." I smirked. "You look far too healthy at the moment to pass for an ailing soldier."

Bella smacked my arm in jest.

"Go," she ordered. "I'll see you later." She winked.

"I'll see you tonight," I promised.

And with that I turned and opened the ambulance to the howling November winds. The door slammed shut once more. I turned toward the driver's side to find Jasper huddled up against the door. He was blowing warm air into his gloved hands. The heat from his breath made steam rise against the wind for a brief moment. He was glancing off the hillside toward the water and the bustling town below. His eyes were cold and for a split second the vision of his frozen stare reminded me of Riley. I shuddered at the memory of Riley's lifeless stare as I clutched him to my chest. I shook off the vision quickly, not wanting to think of the same fate befalling my friend.

The dry frozen grass crunched beneath my boots as I made my way toward Jasper.

"You know the plan right?" I asked to remind him.

"Yes." He nodded. "Carlisle and I get Bella on the boat leaving her in the care of the head physician in the infirmary. I get a key her room in the isolation ward on B deck and meet you at the stairs aft of the forward engine room on D deck."

He recounted the plan perfectly, but I knew the conversation was more about our impending goodbye than rehashing the plan that we had both memorized days earlier.

"Jasper…" I began.

"She'll be fine, Edward. I won't leave her until I know she's secure. She'll have an arsenal of weapons at her side and a full time nurse in the infectious diseases section of the ward. She's secluded from the other passengers and crew. Her plan is both brilliant and flawless."

"Nothing is ever flawless, Jasper."

"She seems to be pretty close." He smirked.

In that moment, I didn't know whether to slug Jasper or not. Instead I shook my head grinning at him and pulled him into my grasp. I pounded him on the back twice before pulling away. I grabbed both his shoulders and shook him, staring fiercely into his eyes.

"Be smart and stay safe… That's an order, my friend."

Jasper just nodded looking down toward the ground.

"Hey," I called hitting his chest with the back of my hand. "I have something for you."

I pulled a scrap of paper with Bella's handwriting on it from my pants pocket and placed it into Jasper's hand. Jasper took it from me and read it with a confused look on her face.

"No twin, no close cousin, but she has a best friend," I gloated. "I've never met Alice, but Bella seems to think the two of you will hit it off. Write to her," I said nodding toward the paper. "Bella says to tell her that you're the "J" she's been looking for in the apple game."

Jasper looked completely confused.

I raised my hands in supplication. "Don't ask. I have no idea what she's talking about but apparently Alice will understand."

"Thanks." Jasper nodded as he placed the folded note securely into his wallet.

I shook his hand and placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes met mine and once more the image of Riley appeared in my mind. I reached up and tapped his cheek lightly once, an old sign of affection for a young one, and let him go. I slung my duffel bag across my shoulder and made my way down the hillside without another glance back.

_I will see him again, _I vowed to myself. _He's smart and strong, he'll make it home_…

_He'll make it home._

The walk down toward the town and the boat docks took me the better part of an hour. I followed the sounds of military vehicles and green ambulances with red crosses painted on the side. They all lead me in the same direction. I felt like an ant filing into line along with the other masses. It was only as I approached the true edge of the peer that I froze staring in awe at the sight before me.

My hands flew up to my eyes and my palms rubbed deep into the sockets as I tried to comprehend the image that had befallen me. I looked up again, straining to make sense of the mass battering my vision. It was nearly impossible for me to reconcile the boat's sheer size. It was easily a city block long if not two and rose twelve stories high against the setting sun.

"You okay, son?" a man with the rank of an army captain asked me.

"Yes, sir," I quickly answered.

I stared at the masses of men lining up along three gangplanks to board the RMS Queen Mary. It was an absolute sea of humanity. The gangplanks were stuffed to the point where the metal strained beneath their weight. Men lined three across, shoulder to shoulder, and at least forty deep inched forward every few seconds toward the tiny holes in the hull that granted their entrance. The boat was enormous. It could have easily held ten times the number of men currently seeking shelter within her iron walls.

_My God, how am I ever going to find her, let alone protect her on this?_

My hand began to shake at the thought as I clutched my disembarkation orders tighter.

"Don't worry, son," the captain replied. "See that boat over there?" he asked pointing to a much smaller boat out in the Firth of Clyde.

I nodded.

"That there is the HMS Berwick. She's our lucky charm. She escorts us across the Atlantic, keeping an eye out for Hitler's wolf pack. Trust me, we'll be fine, son."

_Great the wolves, just add another fear to the pile._

Once loaded onto the boat, I was assigned to the "blue" area of the promenade deck as designated by my badge. I was warned that low be the man found outside of their designated area. This would be a problem for me when I went to find Bella later tonight, but I was hopeful that Jasper would have a solution for me.

I waited impatiently for him, glancing at my watch. It was now six thirty. Two hours should have given him and Carlisle plenty of time to get Bella to the isolation ward. I waited nervously for him, hoping that a senior officer wouldn't push me to find my bunk. I had planned an excuse but was praying that I wouldn't need it. I didn't want to risk missing Jasper and not getting that key securely tucked into my hand. Another ten minutes passed before I heard an excited voice call out behind me.

"Edward? Edward Masen…is it really you?"

I turned to see Jasper taking full strides toward me with a huge smile covering his face. He acted as if he hadn't seen me in years. Jasper enveloped me in a tight hug, slapping my back. His other hand shook mine erratically. He grinned while pressing a key into the palm of my hand. He leaned forward to tighten the hug and whispered in my ear.

"Use the gum on the back of the key to stick it to your dog tags."

He pulled back, slapping me on the shoulder once more.

"God, man, it's been a long time."

"How are you doing?" I asked, knowing full well that Jasper would understand that I was really asking about Bella.

"Fine, just fine," he replied. "I just met the most beautiful nurse in the infirmary. Her name is Rosalie Hale. She's got the most amazing body." He smirked. "It almost made me want to get shot just so she could take care of me. You should go check her out later."

_Thanks, Jasper. _I grinned at him. I now knew the name of Bella's nurse and that this Rosalie would be expecting me to find her later tonight.

Jasper just shrugged and pounded me once with his fist. His playful jab was one of brother to brother. I nodded in thanks as he turned to walk through the doorway and back down the gangplank. I hated this. I hated to see my friend walk away, but we both had a job to do. The sea of humanity that was making its way onto the Queen Mary had trickled down to a stream. Jasper fought against the tide to make his way back to the dock. About half way down, he turned back toward me and shouted.

"Tell Alice I can't wait to meet her."

I raised my arm to wave him goodbye.

"Don't keep her waiting too long," I replied.

Jasper nodded once more and saluted me goodbye. I returned his salute and watched him make the final steps back toward solid ground. My throat tightened, but I swallowed down everything but thoughts of getting Bella safely through the next six days.

I slung my duffel over my shoulder and made my way back toward the staircase. My legs dutifully trudged along to the stairwell and up six flights to the promenade deck. The blue badge affixed to my uniform afforded me access to the boat's stern. Either luck or Charlie's influence had put me in this section. Regardless, the end of the promenade deck was three flights above B deck and Bella in the isolation ward.

My meandering along the deck went largely unnoticed by the crew and my fellow shipmates. The deck was quite crowded as both soldiers and crew looked on, taking in their remaining moments on this side of the pond.

Looking down over the decks below, I quickly realized that although the blue badge allowed me access to this end of the boat, there was no easy path to get to Bella. The promenade deck was still three decks above her ward. The map given to me with my boarding papers revealed that the isolation ward was behind the emergency generators. Bella was being purposefully segregated from the passenger and crew accommodations. It became apparent that I'd only be able to access her room through the interior corridors.

A quick check at my watch told me that chow was being served in less than twenty minutes. I still needed to find my bunk and drop my bag. It would be harder to explore later and go unnoticed, but the situation didn't leave me with much of a choice.

Resigning myself to this fact, I went back down the stairwell and made my way along the corridor of E deck. I found row after row of bunks lining the walls of the interior rooms. Men were piled on top of one another with mere inches separating the makeshift beds. Each "bunk" was actually a two foot by six foot rounded metal rectangle. The "mattress" was a strip of canvas secured in sections to the frame while each frame was chained at the head and foot to the wall. The bunks were stacked three and sometimes five high around the room.

The room I entered was noisy with men who were huddled on the bunks and on the floor playing card games and swapping stories. As I neared the row which would be my place of repose for the next six nights, my stare fell upon an enormous man doing chin ups on one of the overhead support bars. Once he saw me nearing the last empty bunk in the entire row, he dropped down and extended his giant hand toward me.

"Hey, buddy." "He smiled, looking down upon me.

It was almost unnatural to see an easy going smile coming from the man standing before me. His height and mass dwarfed mine. He was easily two inches taller than my six foot two frame and his chest seemed broader than my mother's kitchen table.

I extended my hand toward his, fearful of the crunching sound that would invariably result from his grip. I didn't really want to spend the trip nursing a limp and broken hand. Surprisingly his hand was soft and warm as it surrounded mine.

"I'm Emmett. Emmett Francis McCarty."

The sound in his voice was more serious than the minute prior. His eyes squinted, gauging my reaction. Apparently whatever he saw, he didn't like because a fraction of a second later, he had my collar in his left hand and was pulling his right fist backward. I shut my eyes bracing myself for the forthcoming blow. I wasn't sure if I would remain conscious afterward.

"Do you have a problem with my name?" he spat.

I thought for a moment, stunned at the fact that his fist had yet to connect with my face. No, I really didn't care what his name was. But it did surprise me some that such a name would be attached to this enormous man. It seemed to be at odds with the Francis from my memory, a skinny boy from my high school gym class. The room had gone silent around us. It appeared as though every other GI within earshot had suddenly shut up. Apparently they wanted to know what I did to piss this guy off so that they could avoid a similar fate.

"No, no problem, Emmett," I answered.

He half chuckled to himself and returned my feet to the floor. His grip loosened on my collar and he began brushing down the wrinkles his fist had made in the cloth. With my release, the room around us returned to a low hum of activity.

"So now you know why I look the way I do." Emmett grinned showing off the deep dimples in his cheeks while he flexed one of his biceps before me. "One learns quickly as a child that the best defense against someone laughing at your name is to be big enough and strong enough to pound them into oblivion."

"I think you've succeeded," I joked. "I'm Edward Masen."

"Good to meet you, Edward."

Emmett paused to look over my frame. I wasn't a weakling by any stretch, but I could easily see that I was no match for Emmett's size or strength.

"What are you in here for?" he asked.

The expression on my face must have relayed my confusion. Emmett clarified his question before I could respond.

"I mean, most of the guys on this boat are injured in one way or another and that's what earned them a trip home, but you seem to be in pretty good shape."

_Oh._

My mind quickly went back to Marigny and the explosion that rocked the Kfz. I must have winced or shown my reaction to the memory. Emmett put a hand on my shoulder to bring me back to the present.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to; I'm just making conversation, Edward."

"No, it's alright. The vehicle I was driving took a heavy hit of shrapnel from a bomb dropped by a B17. I managed to get the vehicle back to the front line but quickly lost consciousness after that. They told me a month later when I woke up that I lost my spleen but in payment they gave me a silver star for it." I paused mocking the conversation with Dr. Gerandy. "All I can really remember at the time was thinking about the guy who didn't make it."

It was true; whenever my thoughts took me back to the mission, I could only think about what I could have done differently so that we all survived.

I couldn't quite figure out what it was about Emmett that made me tell him this. I met the man only ten seconds earlier and I was already spilling my nagging, haunting memories of the war.

"I got the jackpot wound," Emmett replied, shaking me from my musings.

"What's that?" I asked, relieved that the conversation had turned me away from my memories.

"A bullet to the ass," he laughed. "It's like hitting the jackpot because it doesn't maim anything really and it will get me all kinds of sympathy from the ladies. Do you realize how many women will want to kiss it better for me?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculousness.

"That's disgusting, Emmett. And I sincerely doubt you're ever going to get some tail solely because you took a bullet in the ass."

"Already have, bud, already have."

I wrinkled my nose in perverse disgust.

"What about you? Married?" Emmett asked, nodding toward the ring on my left hand.

Instinctively I rolled my thumb over the smooth, gold band and thought of the day Bella placed it on my finger. I remembered how her body molded against mine as I lifted her feet off the ground and twirled her in my arms. Father's voice echoed in my mind as I kissed my bride.

"Yes, she's the love of my life, Emmett."

"Will she be there to meet you when we dock in New York?" he asked innocently.

"Absolutely."

My response was filled with determination. Sheer will would get us both through this next week unharmed. Suddenly I was quite thankful for Emmett's enormous mass. I hoped like hell that Bella's presence on this boat would remain undiscovered but I could already tell that I would have help from Emmett if I needed it.

"Well," Emmett started as he yanked my duffel up off the floor and tossed it easily onto my bunk. "It's almost time for chow, and trust me," he leaned toward my shoulder to be sure I would hear him, "I'm never late for chow."

I laughed and followed the huge man toward the dining room. Row after row of tables filled the large room. Ornate lights hung from the ceiling, lighting the tapestry that decorated the dining room's walls. They were a stark contrast to the hundreds of uniformed men piled along the long tables stretching from one end of the room to the other. The scene reminded me of a summertime family reunion gone mad.

There was joking and laughter among the murmurs. We were headed home. And yet I couldn't find it in myself to join the men around me in their playful banter. The discussion for those of us within earshot turned on what each man was planning to do first as soon as we reached U.S. soil.

…_A hamburger…_

_ …A movie in a Cineplex…_

_ …A wife, a girlfriend, a best friend…_

One kid even said something about going to law school.

"What about you, Edward?" Emmett asked as he nudged me, nearly knocking me into the guy on my left.

"I'm going to find my daughter."

"You're a dad?"

"Yeah, her name is Serena; she was born in July."

Emmett stared at me for a moment, sizing up my response, but in the end, he nodded and didn't push it any further.

oo!OO!oo

All the exterior lights on the boat were blacked out off as we shoved off. I followed the wave of men who ran up to the deck to get their last glimpse of the lands that took our blood and that of our fallen comrades.

A lone voice began to sing Ave Maria and the whole deck hushed to a silence. The singer's voice carried on the wind as we whispered our last breaths of goodbye to our brothers.

And in that last goodbye, Carlisle's word came back to me once more.

"_Until we meet again, my young friend." _

_ Indeed, Carlisle, until we all meet again._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** The emotions are all over the map in this chapter, sadness, eagerness, anxiety, fear and even a little humor. As for our Edward and Bella, the journey home begins!

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **18 Fare thee Well

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward is in shock over the number of soldiers trying to board the Queen Mary.

**Historical Significance: **Photographs showing the size and number of soldiers that could be taken across the Atlantic on the RMS Queen Mary. (Photograph is on page 13 titled: db_611)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)queenmaryassociation(dot)com/index(dot)php?option=com_wbgallery&cid=1&Itemid=35&limit=15&limitstart=180

* * *

**Story reference: **An army captain tells Edward that the HMS Berwick is their lucky charm. She escorts the Grey Ghost on their trip across the Atlantic.

**Historical Significance: **HMS Berwick in Halifax, Nova Scotia during the period the ship escorted RMS Queen Mary, 1944 (photo of the crew aboard the Halifax)

**Source: **http:/images(dot)google(dot)com/imgres?imgurl=http:/www(dot)russianconvoyclub(dot)org(dot)nz/Berwick%2520Crew%2520450%2520x%2520282(dot)jpg&imgrefurl=http:/www(dot)russianconvoyclub(dot)org(dot)nz/MyStory(dot)htm&usg=_14UaetvPUaL3guv9qEdVNrOJkI0=&h=271&w=450&sz=55&hl=en&start=241&tbnid=SUpp6HQ9-desSM:&tbnh=76&tbnw=127&prev=/images%3Fq%3DRMS%2BQueen%2BMary%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D240

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes the bunks and dining hall on the Grey Ghost.

**Historical Significance: **Men slept in bunks lined up to five high within the hull of the cruise ship. The Queen Mary was a troop ship between March 1940 and September 1946. It went back to being a luxury liner after the war ended**  
**

Photographs showing the sleeping quarters and dining hall where soldiers ate twice a day during the Atlantic crossings (Photographs is on page 15 titled: db_261 & db_271)

**Source: **http:/www(dot)queenmaryassociation(dot)com/index(dot)php?option=com_wbgallery&cid=1&Itemid=35&limit=15&limitstart=225

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes the dining room and sleeping quarters aboard the RMS Queen Mary

**Historical Significance: **Soldiers ate two meals a day aboard the Queen Mary and were assigned duties assigned to the men during the trip across the Atlantic. **  
**

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/ww2peopleswar/stories/28/a4033928(dot)shtml

* * *

**Story reference: **Emmett asks Edward about a war injury.

**Historical Significance: **During the war, the Queen Mary carried wounded soldiers returning to the United States. Over the war years, it carried a total of 765,429 military personnel. Sailed a total of 569,429 miles (916,407 km). Carried up to 15,000 troops at one time. Transported Winston Churchill three times and carried 12,886 G.I. brides and children.

**Source: **http:/queenmary(dot)com/index(dot)php?page=queenmarystats

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Jasper go over the plan to load Bella onto the RMS Queen Mary and safely secure her in the Isolation Ward.

**Historical Significance: **Soldiers with communicable diseases were transported in the isolation ward of the infirmary. There were separate quarters within the isolation ward for men and women as well as their nursing staff.**  
**

**Source: **Image showing the isolation ward of the RMS Queen Mary. http:/www(dot)flickr(dot)com/photos/whatafarce/2202178737/

Second link provides information on location of the wards and how patients were transported to these rooms. http:/www(dot)sterling(dot)rmplc(dot)co(dot)uk/visions/isolation_wards(dot)html


	19. Chapter 19  The Crossing

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

**A/N: **I want to say a special, thank you, to Just4ALE for nominating TLB for a Hidden Star Award. If you're interested in voting, the details are in my profile.

* * *

The Crossing

I lay in bed counting.

_counting…_

_ counting…_

_ counting…_

I counted because it was too dark to read my watch. I counted to make sure I stayed awake. I counted to pass the time. I waited until I thought it was roughly two o'clock in the morning, and I was sure that all of the men around me have fallen asleep long ago.

I couldn't exactly sit up. My head would have hit the bunk above mine and awoken the soldier sleeping above me. After tossing my wool blanket aside, I curled my legs up and rolled forward until I teetered between the bunk behind me and the open space before me. As quietly as I could, I lowered myself to the ground. My efforts were not silent, but they were pretty close. I turned back to my bunk to grab my boots from under the covers when a strong hand reached out and grabbed me around the calf.

I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Geez, Emmett," I wheezed as I tried to find my heart and return it to my vacant chest.

"Where the hell are you going kid? It's the middle of the night."

I was afraid of being stopped on my nightly roam through the halls of the Grey Ghost. It was time to test out my alibi.

"I'm going to the latrine; I don't think dinner agrees with me. Weak stomach," I added.

I heard Emmett stifle a laugh.

"You going to be alright?" he asked as purposely I swayed before him. It wasn't quite an act; the boat had a wicked roll.

"Yeah," I answered, then a moment later I added, "don't wait up," for good measure.

Again I heard his chuckle in the dark and him shifting of his massive frame as he tried to roll over in his tiny excuse for a bunk.

_Poor bastard._

With boots in hand, I made my way along the bunk rows and out into the hallway. I heard and smelled more than a few men getting sick along the working alleyway. My hand covered my mouth and nose. Not only to keep up the charade of pretending to be sick myself but also out of self preservation.

Members of the ship's crew passed me with buckets and mops in hand. I continued to make my way down the mint green and white painted hallway toward the stairs. No one seemed to think it strange or out of the ordinary as I climbed the three flights toward B deck. Of course, I could have just been going up to get some air.

Once I reached Bella's deck, I continued to follow along the jagged hallways and corridors, with the hope that my sense of direction continued to lead me toward the stern of the boat. A huge gust of air left my chest when I finally found signs for the captstan machinery. Once I was there, I knew that the infectious disease ward was only a few more yards away.

The doorway into the section area split the hallway into two. The male infectious ward was to the right while the female infectious ward was straight ahead. I stared the signs pondering the likelihood of Bella being in one or the other. Given that I was on a boat filled with nearly twenty five hundred male soldiers, the odds were certainly greater that there was a sick male patient than female on this trip. Squaring my shoulders, I walked straight ahead praying I would find my wife tucked safely inside.

Through the doorway, I found the nurses quarters to the left and the patient room door straight ahead. I reached under my collar and pulled the chain out and over my head. The key trembled slightly in my hand as I lightly knocked once followed by two more quick raps on the door. The movement mirrored what I had done when I retrieved ice for Bella's legs at the Grims Dyke. I hesitated at the door, praying Bella was inside. I heard rustling from the other side. Before anyone could open it or I could put the key into the lock, I heard the distinct click of a service arm loading a bullet into the chamber.

I turned quickly to face the armed stranger behind me. There stood a five foot ten inch force to be reckoned with. The menacing goddess was dressed in a night robe and wore her blonde tresses up in wraps. She has both hands wrapped around the handle of her service arm while her index finger hovered over the trigger.

"You better have a damn good reason to be here," she lashed with a fiery tongue. "Or you'll have a real reason to be here momentarily."

The woman was stunning, and even though I my heart belonged to Bella, I could appreciate this woman beauty. She was an angel of death and most likely one of mercy as well. Her hands likely meant the difference between a soldier making it home or dying along the way.

I was immediately awed by her eerie cool demeanor. Before I could answer the woman who was pointing her gun at one of my most valued possessions, the door swung open behind me. The breeze rushed by me as the air was suddenly sucked into the opened doorway. I turned to see Bella crawling up to stand before me.

I lifted my eyes to the ceiling above me and mouth. _Thank God._

The angel of death smirked, emitting a snarky laugh in the process.

"Some incredible operative, Bella," she spit out sarcastically. "I could have taken him before he ever lifted his key."

Bella's face lit up, ignoring the death goddess. She lunged forward and half fell into my arms. I immediately hoisted her up, cradling her under her legs and against my chest. Bella's lips were plastered against mine as her hands fought against the cloth of my shirt in an effort to get closer to me.

"Miss me?" I crooned as a whisper into her ear.

"Well, you've obviously seen my patient and know she's okay. Now get the hell out of my ward," the angry morgue minder screeched.

I turned back to her with Bella still grasped firmly in my arms. I kicked the door to her room open with the heel of my foot.

"When I'm damn good and ready," I countered.

With that, I slid into Bella's room and clicked the door closed behind us. I didn't bother to lock it, knowing full well that if I had a key, the angry AoD had one too.

In that instant, my lungs again filled with air because Bella finally was back in my arms. Just before the door closed, I got a view of the room. There were four bunks on the left wall and one stand alone bed just past the sinks on the right. Bella was alone inside. Two portholes on the far wall provided the only light that entered the room.

"I've been told to keep the lights off at night."

I nodded and walked forward toward Bella's lone bed beneath the porthole. I gently laid her on the mattress still unable to really speak. I sat gently beside her and took her face in my hands. My thumb ran along her cheek bone and over her lips. I could wait no longer and pulled her toward me, covering her mouth with mine. When I finally released her from my lips, my fingers trailed down her neck, over the soft skin of her breasts and stomach. I continued down her thighs until I reached the skin that would be forever scarred. I gently palmed her flesh feeling for heat and signs of swelling. I let out a strangled breath because, thankfully, I couldn't find any.

My mouth placed reverent open mouthed kisses up and down her injured legs until Bella reached down grasping my hair lightly and pulled me up to her face. Her cheeks were tear stained, and my brow furrowed.

"Are you okay, baby?" I asked with grave concern.

"I am now," she choked. "I didn't think it would be this hard to be away from you. We've been apart longer once before, but the fear is still there. I don't want to admit that, even to you."

I sat Bella up, wrapped her in my arms and gently stroked her back. I whispered promises of love and reassurance into her hair.

"It was just really hard to say goodbye to Carlisle and Esme," she sobbed. "I think it hit me as soon as you got out of the ambulance. You were leaving and then I had to say goodbye to Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme. I've been a wreck all night."

"I'm sorry, baby," I tried to soothe her by rubbing tight circles against her back. "I wish there was another way."

Bella took another moment to calm herself. I could almost feel the memories of her being alone and in pain fly through her conscious. She was visibly trying to shake them off and bring herself back to the present.

"Enough of this," she argued with herself. "I have work to do."

With that, she leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed her braces. She began to shove her leg forward into the leather behind the loose laces. I grabbed her hand to still her efforts.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"I'm doing my therapy while you're here to help me. I need to keep up with it so that I'll be able to walk and carry Serena at the same time."

My mind flashed to an image that I conjured of Bella laughing and lifting a chubby faced angel high over her head. Bella cooed at her, enticing a slobbery grin from our little miracle. Suddenly, I was roused from my musings by the sight of Bella laboring to get her shoe on over her brace. Her resolve strengthened me, and I knew that all the hell of the last eleven months would be worth it once we could cradle our child in our arms.

"Let me help you, sweetheart."

Bella pushed my hand aside, and I sighed at her stubbornness. Minutes passed, but eventually she finished completely unassisted.

_Pigheaded woman. _

I stifled a laugh, realizing the irony. It was likely that this same stubborn streak was what kept my love alive.

_Thank God you're a pigheaded woman._

"What?" Bella asked, staring at my crooked grin.

"I love you. All of you," I answered, pulling her upright and into my arms.

Bella relaxed into my embrace.

"I love you too, Edward."

Together we made our way toward the sinks near the ward's entrance. They became Bella's make shift parallel bars. With one hand moving along the sinks and the other grasped firmly in mine, Bella practiced her steps just as she had at the 8th. Bella abruptly shuddered against my grasp, and our eyes meet for the same reason. An unspoken sadness passed between us as she remembered all the times Mike helped her perform this very same act.

I leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "You're making him proud, baby."

Together we walked Bella through all of her exercises as best we could. By the end she was exhausted. She slumped down onto her bed and allowed me to remove her shoes and braces. I didn't have any ice to cool her skin so I opted for drenching towels in frigid water from the sink. I wrapped Bella's skin in the towels while she shuddered against the chill.

"Tell me something?" I asked.

"Anything, what do you want to know?"

"What's the apple game?"

Bella snickered and buried her face out of what I can only guess was embarrassment.

_Oh now I have to know._

I lifted an eyebrow at her making her realize that there's no damn way she's getting out of this.

"Oh, Edward, it's just a stupid girl's game." I made no effort to move or change my expression. Bella sighed and resigned herself to providing a confession. "Have you ever pulled an apple off a tree with its stem still attached?"

I nodded.

"Well young girls hold the stem and twirl the apple while reciting the alphabet. Whenever the apple falls from the stem, that letter is the first letter of the name of the man she'll someday marry."

I laughed at her corny childhood game.

"I knew you'd think it was stupid, forget it."

I grabbed Bella by the arm and planted a kiss on the inside of her wrist by way of apology.

"I'm sorry. I don't think it's stupid, but it is kind of funny."

I looked at her with the best puppy dog face I could muster to see if she'd forgive me. In the end she rolled her eyes and continued.

"You have to remember that I was only thirteen when Alice and I met." I nodded. "Well, whenever we would play, Alice's apple always seemed to drop on J. It was comical because there weren't any "J"s in town that she ever could think of kissing let alone marrying."

I sidled up to my wife and pretended to act coy.

"What about you? What letter did you land on?"

"I was a "J" woman too. I secretly have a thing for Jasper," Bella whispered.

I pulled back, my eyes widening in distress. _My wife has a crush on Jasper?_

Bella stared at me straight faced for a moment longer before covering her face with her pillow and howling into it with laughter. I rolled my eyes, thinking that this was not at all funny. It took a few moments, but Bella finally composed herself enough to sit up and face me. My expression sent her into another fit of the giggles, and I couldn't help but cackle a bit with her. I had to admit it felt good to laugh today, even if it was at my own expense.

oo!OO!oo

Hours later I was woken by Emmett shaking my shoulder roughly. I must have looked exactly like the lone two hours of sleep I gained after returning from Bella's room.

"Come on, buddy, time to get up. You don't want to miss breakfast do you?"

I could only groan in response.

"How's your stomach?" he gently asked.

"Better," I grumbled into the canvas as it scraped along my cheek.

"Then you'd better get up now. There are only two meals a day on this boat, and you'd better get your ass out of bed if you don't want to miss one of them."

I groaned louder this time trying to gather the desire to eat. I knew that Emmett's right, and if the pitch of the boat grew any wider today, I'd be wishing I had something in my stomach to remind it where the pit lay. I rolled forward, out of the bunk, and onto the floor.

"That's the spirit," Emmett bellowed as he rapped me between the shoulders.

The act sent me flying forward, and I grasped the chain at the foot of the bunk to steady myself.

"Sorry," Emmett mumbled.

"What's got you so chipper today anyway?" I groaned.

"We get our GI pay today of course."

I looked up in confusion to find Emmett rubbing his flat palms together and wringing them like an evil scientist.

"So?"

_What the hell is there to buy on a boat with twenty-five hundred men?_

Emmett stared at me blankly like I have shit for brains. I turned my hands over and shrugged, clearly not comprehending whatever was plainly etched into his dastardly plans.

Emmet spoke slowly and loudly as if I was not only stupid but also deaf.

"Craps," he finally replied.

I lifted my eyes in acknowledgement and shook my head. Of course, it was rather thick of me not to have figured this out. When you can't drink, you have no women, and fighting is off limits, what else was there for entertainment? Gambling. A small smile spread across my face as I remembered thinking that Seth was a natural at poker and that he needed to learn how to play craps.

I whispered a silent prayer that my young friend was doing well in London.

After our breakfast of rolled oats, bacon, boiled eggs, bread with preserves and coffee, Emmett and I made our way down to the purser's office. The line was long, and Emmett and I chatted about his upbringing in southern Ohio. I told him about life in New York but avoided descriptions of Riley. Eventually the conversation turned to how I met Bella.

"I was a driver for her and her family," I answered. I realized that this was a stretch, but I couldn't exactly tell Emmett the truth either.

"And eventually you married her? Oh, her parents must have loved that."

I choked on my laugh realizing how much Charlie must have hated me for ensnaring his daughter.

_No wonder he wanted me shipped off to the front. Maybe he was hoping for an annulment._

"Do you have a picture of her?" Emmett asked.

I nodded pulling Bella's worn photo reverently from my wallet. I handed him the parchment, and he gently unwrapped her image.

"She's a beauty, Edward," Emmett sighed shaking his head. He paused for a moment trying to find the right way to ask his question. "Edward, don't be mad but how…"

I laughed halting his question in mid air.

"Don't worry, Emmett, I've been asked that question before."

"You're good in bed?" he offered.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

He playfully nudged me sending me tripping into the wall beside me. The roll of the boat added to my lack of balance. Emmett apologetically reached out to steady me. Once I was righted, Emmett flipped over the photo and reads Bella's inscription. I hesitated, reaching my hand forward to snatch the photo, but I didn't want to tear it. That photo had gotten me through hell. It meant my survival for six lonely months.

"Geez, Edward," he paused shaking his head. "Now that's someone worth fighting for."

I nodded. _More than you'll ever know Emmett. More than you'll ever know._

Eventually I reached the front of the line and stepped behind the curtain. The purser helped me find my name, and I nearly fell over at the dollar amount he showed me. The annual pay for a corporal with a wife and child was one thousand seven hundred and sixty six dollars. The purser showed me the calculation for my nearly two and a half years of service, and I blinked my eyes unconsciously. I was stunned by the figure and my hand shakes in violent tremors as I tried to sign the box next to my name that states I accepted the funds.

I felt Charlie's influence in this. Who else would have known that I had a child _and _had the power to do this? I accepted the money with a shaky hand and nodded realizing that we may need every bit of this money to get Serena home to us.

Emmett joined me later after he too received his pay. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat. We walked along the promenade deck, and I saw him nearly drool at the number of craps games surrounding us. He was sizing up the competition and hungrily reached for the wad of cash that was burning a hole in his left pocket. I grabbed his arm and stilled it before he could remove it from his pants.

"What's your plan?" I asked.

Emmett gave me a confused look like I needed to go back to elementary school for remedial studies.

"What's your plan?" I asked again. "How much do you need to take home and how much can you afford to gamble? Decide now before you start to play."

Emmett frowned at me as if I'd just gotten sand all over his ice cream cone before he got to enjoy the first lick.

"I can gamble with two hundred," he sulked.

"Count it off and put it in your pants pocket. Put the rest in the pocket inside your dress shirt and button it shut. Remember what that money's for and swear you'll leave it there."

Emmett groaned but did as I asked. "I swear," he replied softly.

I could already tell that Emmett will need some supervision with this. I placed my hands in my pockets. My fingers curled around the bills in there and the temptation to join a game was strong. My newfound wealth was itching to be brought out and enjoyed.

Emmett turned on his heels and stalked over to the first game he could find. By the end of the day, his promise was still intact and he had an additional fifty dollars in his pants pocket to boot.

I shook my head at him. "Put the profit back in your dress shirt, Emmett."

My voice was hard, but I could tell he needed the nudge. Emmett rolled his eyes like an errant child caught snooping at his Christmas presents a week early. He humored me and moved the money to his shirt. We took a break from the games to find our names on a duty list. We both have night watch duty tomorrow. The work would be frigid but simple. Stay awake, keep your eyes open, and alert the crew if you see anything suspicious on the water. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. Of all the jobs I could pull, of course it had to be one performed at night when I need to go look after my wife. I began calculating different ways to get out of it.

oo!OO!oo

Later that night, I slipped behind Bella's door. The key granted me entrance without running into the AoD. I didn't need her snarky comments or her trigger happy fingers this evening.

Stepping into the room, I saw the very same woman leaning over Bella in her bed. Suddenly my heart was in my throat, and I crossed the room to her in three quick strides. Bella's hair was matted to her face and neck. Sweat dripped from her temples. She was moaning and restless. Rosalie lifted her eyes to meet mine.

"What's wrong with her?" I panicked.

"I just got in here. I heard her yelling. I think she's having a nightmare."

Rosalie put the back of her hand to Bella's forehead as I grasped Bella's shoulder, shaking her gently.

"Bella? Bella, sweetheart, wake up."

Bella jolted forward startling both of us. I covered her mouth with my own before she could emit a loud scream. Her body tensed and then immediately relaxed against my touch. I held her close releasing her lips only to cover her face and her neck with soft kisses.

"Lay her back down and let me look her over," Rosalie ordered.

I did as asked and watched intently as Rosalie examined my wife. After a few anxious moments, Rosalie nodded at me.

"She's okay," I exhaled sharply as Rosalie stood. "Bella, I'm going to bring you something to drink."

Just as I had last night, I soaked towels in some frigid water from the sink. This time I returned to Bella cooling her forehead behind her neck and down her chest. Rosalie returned, offering Bella a drink and some pain medication, but Bella refused it. I frowned at her and Rosalie patted her on the shoulder. She stood and turned, staring at me intently.

"Come get me if she needs anything."

I nodded, suddenly very grateful for Rosalie's presence. I helped Bella change into new bedclothes and lifted her hair from the nape of her neck to further cool her down. My fingers brushed along her cheek and slowly tilted my head against hers.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know where to start," she replied. "It's just fragments of memories that I can't seem to piece together, but it's been nagging at my subconscious for a couple of days now."

"What are you seeing? Maybe I can help you figure it out."

Bella ignored my question but replied to a different one, "They started after we interrogated James."

I nodded, encouraging her to continue. Of course she was anxious for Charlie, wondering if he was okay, praying he'd caught the mole. James' vow ran through my head. "_She'll kill him tomorrow; your precious Colonel Swan won't live to see another sunset."_

"I know he wasn't working alone; I'm just trying to figure out who would have the motive to go after Charlie."

"Don't look at it that way, Bella; maybe the motive came long before either you or Charlie stepped into the picture. What things are flashing through your mind?"

"I'm seeing disjointed things that don't make sense. I'm reading intelligence briefs at ETOUSA, then I'm talking with Victoria, then I flash back to James. It's like a film reel running on a continuous loop."

I could tell that she was frustrated with the workings of her subconscious mind.

"All right, start over. Tell me all about each memory one at a time, then we'll piece it together."

Bella nodded her head and acknowledged that this is the best way to root though her visions.

"I'm sitting at my desk inside the third floor intelligence offices in ETOUSA. It's late, probably around seven o'clock, and I'm working to finish a brief for Charlie to read in the morning. I've read it twice, and I'm on my third pass, making sure I haven't missed anything. Victoria is there with me. She's been waiting as patiently as possible for me to finish. I hear her sigh, and I know I'm trying her nerves because she wants to get home for the evening."

_ "Victoria, I'm almost done. Just a few more pages, I promise."_

_ "It's fine, Bella," she answers," but I heard a note of frustration in her sigh._

"I do my best to be quick about finishing. I know I've read it twice, but the intelligence reports need to be perfect, and I know that. Victoria knows it too, but I can't help but feel bad about ruining her evening. Ten minutes later I finally finish, and I'm satisfied that every "i" is dotted and "t" is crossed correctly. I stand and stretch out my legs after being hunched at my desk for the last two hours. I call out to Victoria to tell her it's ready, and she quickly marches in to grab the document off my desk. Victoria places the brief in a red folder marked classified and folds it in along with the other morning's briefs to put in the locked top drawer of Charlie's desk. I turn back from grabbing my coat and pop into Charlie's office just as Victoria is placing the package in the drawer."

"_Do you want to have some tea in my barracks tonight? I know it's too late for a real dinner, but at least I can offer you a small kindness for having to wait for me."_

"Victoria quickly agrees with a smile, and I glance down at the pile, noticing that it is thicker than normal. A second set of briefing documents is in the folder along with the one I just spent the last two hours reading."

_ "Victoria, let me see Colonel Swan's file one more time please?"_

"_Come on, Bella, you are absolutely obsessive over this. I've waited patiently, but now I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I want to go home." _

"_It will just take a second, Victoria, I swear."_

"I pull the folder from Charlie's drawer much to Victoria's frustration and page through the second brief. It's discussing Operation Husky, the planned invasion of southern Italy. As I read further I see blatant errors in the planned materials acquisition. The order form is at the bottom awaiting Charlie's signature. I know the order is wrong. The tactic has changed as a result of meetings that occurred just two weeks ago. The acquisition strategy needs to be changed to meet the new plans or the entire operation could be delayed."

_ "Victoria," I called. "Where did you get this second brief?" _

"_I don't know. It was on my desk in another red folder marked urgent for Colonel Swan's review and approval tomorrow morning. Why?"_

_ "It's wrong."_

_ "What do you mean?"_

"_I mean it's wrong. The tactic has changed; this materials acquisition request supports the old strategy not the new one agreed to by Eisenhower two weeks ago. If this order had gone through like this, it would have put the entire operation back weeks if not a month."_

"Victoria looked up at me and panic filled her eyes."

_ "Are you sure? Shouldn't we get Colonel Swan's okay before we change this?"_

"_We could, but that would get you in a lot of trouble for not knowing who placed the order on your desk in the first place. I can find the approved files and create the new acquisition order tonight. We'll still have it on the Colonel's desk in time for his signature tomorrow. It will be okay."_

"Victoria and I set to work and by the end of the night she is thanking me profusely. I burn the old document to ensure that it is not picked up and used by mistake. We walk out arm in arm at nearly nine o'clock and enjoyed a very delayed cup of tea."

I could tell that Bella's memory had changed, and she was seeing another reel play out in her mind.

"Months later Victoria and I are alone again in Charlie's office. I'm reading through another brief for the third time making sure it's accurate. This time it's only ten after five, and I promise her we will not miss the dinner run this evening."

_ "Bella, will you stop; you act like you're inconveniencing me."_

_ "I know, I know, I shouldn't be too much longer."_

"I finish and tuck the brief into another classified folder for Victoria to put in Charlie's desk drawer for the morning review."

"_Bella, I never really got a chance to thank you for saving my skin this spring. I could have really gotten in a lot of trouble for that."_

"_Don't worry about it," I answered. "I'm just glad we found the error before a real mistake was made. It turned out okay. The boys got everything they needed on time and they did their job well." _

"Sicily had been liberated in July".

"_I know," she smiled a half grin. "I just want to do something nice for you. What can I do to say thank you?"_

_ "I could use a couple of days leave," I mumbled. _

"And silently under my breath I add, preferably with Edward."

_ "Oh, so who's caught your eye, Miss Dwyer?"_

"_No one, Victoria," I sighed, trying to act completely devoid of emotion. "I'm just tired. I've been going at this for two and a half years now. That's a long time, and I'm worried that I don't have the same edge. I'm worried I'm going to let something slip."_

"_I don't think that's possible for you, Bella. You're the most dedicated operative I've met here. You work twice as hard to prove yourself. I'm sure you'll get what you deserve in the end," she half smiled._

"I relaxed after the conversation ended that way. I was relieved that Victoria had completely misread my backtracking. I was trying to cover my longing to be alone with you. I wasn't looking for platitudes about my performance."

Bella sat up quickly as if the pieces clicked together for her finally.

"Edward, what if I hadn't fooled her?" Bella nearly knocked me off the bed with her frantic movements. She clamored to get on her knees and wrapped her fingers tightly around my collar. "What if she read me correctly?"

"Edward, oh my God, how stupid of me? I lead her straight to us," she cried. "Victoria had me followed. That's how James saw us that night in my barracks. We were never together outside of Hanslope. Hell, she probably arranged my roommate's furlough to set a trap."

"She didn't have the wrong acquisition order placed on her desk by someone else; _she did it." _

"_She_ wanted the mission delayed."

"Edward, _she's_ the mole."

My mind reeled with the information, but no matter how I tried to argue against it, I couldn't. I knew Bella was right. James' omission confirmed that the mole was female. All of Bella's pieces fit.

"Edward, she's the one who gave Charlie the information about us. I don't see how he could have pieced it together on his own."

My mind wandered back to Bella and me being called into Colonel Swan's office late one night in early November.

"_Tell me it's not true," he shouted at us. "Tell me it's a damn lie. Tell me that two of my operatives weren't stupid enough to get involved and then run off and get married behind my back."_

"_With all due respect, sir, Bella and I went into this with open eyes. We knew the policy and the risks we were taking. I won't apologize for loving her, and I won't degrade her choice either. She's the best thing that's ever come into my life. To you, she's an operative, and a damn good one, to me, she's my life."_

_Colonel Swan flew forward, and I pulled Bella behind me instinctively to protect her. He looked angry enough to pull out his firearm and shoot me dead right there. Bella chose that moment to speak up. _

"_We can handle this, sir. We've been working together for months now. We're one of the best teams you have, and I know you don't want to split us up."_

_I knew that was a long shot. Once we were discovered, I was certain I wouldn't be allowed to work with my wife any longer. I wouldn't be able to be the one to look after her and protect her. One of my worst fears was playing out right before my eyes._

_Colonel Swan's cold, dark eyes burned as he stared shaking in fury at Bella._

"_Do you have any idea what kind of target this is going to paint on your back? If I can figure it out, don't you think others will as well?"_

_I blanched at Colonel Swan's words. I would do anything to keep Bella safe. __Anything__._

_ "After the drop this week, you'll both be reassigned."_

_Bella opened her mouth to protest, but I shot her a look to still her. As much as it pained me to be separated from her, I knew Colonel Swan was right. Allowing others to know about our relationship would only put her life in greater jeopardy. I could almost feel the hatred in the Colonel's voice. This was going to put the mission back weeks while we were retrained with new leads. Delaying the mission was the only ounce of regret I could find for our actions. I believed with all my heart that finding and loving Bella was the best part of my life so far. _

_I stiffened and my jaw tensed at the thought of anyone trying to hurt her because of me. If the best way to protect her was to separate from her, then I would do that. _

_I would endure it…for her. _

_ "Yes, sir," I replied._

"No wonder he wanted to kill me," I mumbled, breaking the trance of my memories.

"What?"

"The night we were found out, the night Colonel Swan called us into his office demanding to know if it was true. I said he considered you an operative, while to me, you were my life. I'm trying to picture it through Charlie's eyes as your father. He didn't want you in London or in intelligence. He had you keep your relationship with him a secret to protect you. Then not only do I come along and sweep away his daughter's innocence, but I do it behind his back, all the while putting you in greater danger because of it. No wonder he had me shipped off to the front."

"He didn't, Edward." I looked up at Bella in confusion. "It wasn't Charlie's order. When I found out you were being transferred, I marched into his office after everyone was gone demanding that he take it back and set things right. He swore that he had no part in your reassignment. In fact he was using his influence to change it…for me."

Suddenly I began see my father-in-law through new eyes.

"Do you think, Victoria…?"

"I don't know; it's possible. With you gone, the missions would be disrupted. And with me so upset, it would have made it easier for her to get things past me. Or eventually when it came time, to have me killed."

My body shook as I realized how all of the espionage had played out and how lucky we both were to be alive right now.

"We have to warn him," Bella stated flatly as she stared off into space. "I'll never forgive myself if something happens to him. I should have figured this out sooner. I should have warned him before we ever left the 8th. If he's hurt, it will be entirely my fault."

I grasped her arms pinning them to her side and shook her out of her self-deprecating thoughts.

"Bella, Charlie is very smart. He knows what he's walking into. He knows the mole is close, and he won't trust anyone. I'm sure he's got Victoria locked in a cell or six feet under by now."

Bella shuddered at my words; she understood that it could easily go the other way if Victoria got a jump on him.

"We have to do something."

I rubbed my hands over my eyes knowing that at this point, a warning was likely futile. I also knew that without sending some kind of message, Bella would be a wreck for the next four days. I wouldn't allow this to risk her health. I stood and walked through the door to Bella's patient room and lightly knock on the door to Rosalie's room.

_I hope she doesn't answer the door with her gun._

"We need your help," I stated as Rosalie's door flew open in confusion.

We explained as much as we could to Rosalie without giving her classified information. We told her we needed to get a message through Captain Bisset back to the mainland. Rosalie already had connections with the captain because of Bella's special circumstances. It would be a lot less suspicious for her to bring the message to him than for me to do it.

"We have to go through Carlisle," I stated. "We don't know who will pick up the message if we send it to ETOUSA."

Bella agreed, and we worked out a message for Carlisle to pass on Bella's behalf. In the end the message was only two words.

Red Flame

Bella described to me how Victoria had com to work late one morning with her hair was sopping wet from a rushed shower. She remembered making a remark to Charlie that Victoria's wet hair reminded her of a red flame flickering and whipping as she rushed about the office. With this, he would know we were confirming the mole for him. We both prayed that he wouldn't need the information and that Victoria already was safely in hand.

Despite all that Bella had been through that night, I still had yet to tell her about the events of the afternoon. As much as it killed me to tell her this now, she needed to know why I wouldn't be here to see her tomorrow night. Before Rosalie went back to bed, she promised to stay in Bella's room with her tomorrow night in case her nightmares returned.

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, love."

"I'll be okay. You need your sleep too," she answered weakly.

"I know you will. You're the strongest person I know, but for now I want to take care of you. I won't be able to sleep myself until I know you're okay, sweetheart."

I softly, kissed Bella good night and promised to return to her in two nights. With my wife cradled in my arms, I began to feel the piercing knife of Victoria's betrayal. The anger was like the taste of acid on my tongue. Bitter, burning and evil. Bella pulled me closer to her in her sleep, moaning and shaking against the visions in her mind. I leaned down close to her ear and whispered how much I loved her. I told her of my dreams of her holding Serena, how soft her chubby cheeks would be under my fingers, how her smile would brighten the room. We would teach her how to crawl and walk and talk and how I knew with all my heart that her first word would be for her one and only mother; the woman who risked all things, including her very life to bring her into this world.

Finally, I disentangled myself from her arms feeling the loss of her warmth immediately. My body craved her in every way. As I stood, I felt a weight in my pocket from my GI salary. I reached down, pulled out the wad of cash and tucked it into one of Bella's leg braces, knowing it would be safer with her than with me.

I leaned forward placing my hand against her mattress to support myself. My dog tags with her key clinked softly against her skin. I pressed my lips against hers, breathing in her scent, drinking in her beauty.

_My heart feels adrift when I'm away from you. Stay safe until I have you in my arms again. _

_I love you._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** These two are a team through and through. It will guide them as they piece together the remaining pieces of the puzzle. So, do you think Charlie got the message in time?

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 19 - The Crossing  
**

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**Story reference: **Edward receives his GI Pay and is stunned by the amount.

**Historical Significance: **The average annual pay for a corporal with a wife and family serving abroad was $1,766 in 1944.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)usmm(dot)org/barrons(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference:**Bella tells Edward about finding and correcting the intelligence brief to Charlie on Operation Husky

**Story reference: **American troops land in the Gulf of Gela between Licata and Scoglitti. The British land between Syracuse and the southwest tip of the island. The attacks catch the Italians off guard.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1943/jul1943/f10jul43(dot)htm

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Allied_invasion_of_Sicily


	20. Chapter 20 Lucky Strike

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

_Grandmom, I miss you._**_  
_**

* * *

**Lucky Strike**

"Edward, get up!"

Emmett's voice was booming in my ears. This was the fourth time he'd shouted my name at me.

"All right, buddy, I'm leaving; unlike you, I actually _need_ breakfast. I'm a growing boy you know."

My body finally responded to my request to move by slowly lifting my head off of the cot.

"Geez, you look like shit. Exactly how many hours of sleep did you get last night?"

"Not enough."

"How's your stomach?" Emmett asked, sounding repentant. "Here I am pounding on you to get up and eat some breakfast when you probably puked your guts out all night long."

"Thanks for reminding me, Emmett."

By this point, I was struggling to roll off my cot and was feeling rather awful. Emmett questioned my health because of the excuse I'd made again last night to escape and see Bella. Of course my stomach was fine; the effects of any sea sickness had long since passed. The only reason I looked like hell was because I'd only gotten a few hours of sleep in this God forsaken thing we were calling a bed.

"I'm up, Emmett. I'm up. I'm coming with you. Maybe something to eat will help settle my stomach. It seemed to work yesterday," I added.

"Fine, but if it happens again tonight, I'm taking you to the infirmary."

_Not likely. Tonight I'll be out in the cold, staring at the frigid waters of the Atlantic, looking for German U-boats alongside your hairy ass._

My vocabulary seemed to have taken a turn for the worst in the last few days. I grumbled, acknowledging that it must be Emmett's wonderful influence and colorful colloquiums.

_Fantastic, my mother will be so proud._

The thoughts that began running through my head startled me. For the first time in nearly two years, I was thinking about seeing my mother. When I first left home, my parents and Riley flooded my thoughts each day. I wanted this life, the life of a soldier, and at the time, I also wanted an escape from my guilt over Riley's death. The last words I ever spoke to my brother were in anger, basically telling him to leave me the hell alone.

_What I wouldn't give for the chance to tell him I'm sorry and that I love him._

I traveled an entire ocean to leave New York and Riley behind, but he remained with me everywhere I went. He'd been in every thought, in every action. In the beginning, I'd been obsessed with saving others no matter what the risks were for me. I took on the missions no one else wanted. Somewhere deep down I knew it wasn't helping and that the one I really wanted to save. _He_ was already already laying cold and dead back in Saint Olivet's cemetery. No matter how hard I tried; no act of kindness or bravery would ever bring him back. Nothing could ease my guilt.

_Until Bella._

She calmed the tempest coursing through me. She gave me the will to live for myself and not solely for Riley's memory. She showed me how to be happy and how to love someone unconditionally. And without even realizing it, she gave Riley peace. She gave him a brother who was alive again.

Now, I was heading back to New York. I would finally see my parents, but I would also have to face _those _memories again.

"You okay, man?" Emmett asked, wrapping me on my shoulder.

I shook off my blank stare. "Yeah, let's eat."

oo!OO!oo

My shoulders hunched forward in an effort to brace myself against the frigid North Atlantic winds. My fingers felt so numb that I wondered if there would be any usable part of my hand once this night was over. I reached up for what seemed to be the hundredth time tonight to wipe the snot that was running from my nose. Then, with whatever feeling I had left in my fingers, I tried to pry my eyelids open once more. The moisture from continually blinking back the wind had frozen my eyelashes together again.

_Damn, it's cold. _

I peered out over the open water, scanning, searching, and fearing that I would actually find something. Luckily the water remained dead calm.

"So," Emmett began, trying once more to engage me in conversation. He seemed to be making an effort to get to know me a little better while trying to distract us both from the frigid cold.

Since this was my third night in a row with nearly no sleep, I sincerely hoped he came up with something good. We'd already talked about all things sports related. I came to find out that besides baseball, Emmett was especially fond of hunting.

_Guess the feel of a gun in his hand would be rather natural for him, although the prey he usually chased wouldn't normally shoot back._

"How do you plan on finding your daughter?" Emmett continued.

I was shocked back to the present by his question. I didn't move; I just stood there next to him blinking and staring out over the icy water.

"Come on, Edward, you're obviously ridiculously in love with your wife. You practically vowed that she'll be there when you step off the boat. Yet, what's the first thing you're going to do when you get home? You're going to _find_ your daughter. Not see, not meet, but find. You don't need to be Einstein to see that something's off. What happened? Why isn't she with your wife?"

My mind worked quickly to answer him with a set carefully constructed set of truths.

_All be them only half truths._

"My wife was very ill while she was pregnant with our child. The doctors didn't expect her to survive. The baby, Serena, was born a month early. Bella was barely conscious for the delivery. They told her that our daughter was stillborn. They thought it would be more humane to say she died so that Bella wouldn't struggle to live and suffer any longer. They wanted to put the baby up for adoption so that she wouldn't become a war orphan."

"How could they do that, Edward? What about you? You're her father. Could they just take her away like that?"

"Yes, I'm her father, but no one knew if I'd ever make it home from the war."

"What about family?"

"Bella was in a strange city when I was shipped off to the front. Her mother died when she was little and her father was away at war himself."

Emmett put his hand to his forehead seeming to struggle to understand how this happened.

"Where is she now?"

"We _think_ she's in Indiana. We'll be heading there to find Bella's doctor and to find out where he placed Serena."

"Didn't the doctor know that your wife had survived?"

"No, Bella was transferred to another hospital after she gave birth, one that specialized in the type of care she needed."

"What happened to her?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, Emmett."

"Okay," he agreed. "But she's all right now? I mean, she's meeting you in New York, right?"

"Yes."

Emmett sighed. "There's so much you have on your shoulders, Edward. Whatever you need," he said earnestly, "I'll help you. Indiana's not that far from where my family has a farm in southern Ohio. If you need me, I'll be there."

"Thanks, Emmett, I appreciate that."

"Can anyone else help?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "We haven't contacted Bella's doctor yet. We're not sure how he'll react, and we don't want to give him a chance to run before we can talk to him."

Emmett nodded, seeming to agree with our plan.

"That's why you're not gambling."

"Yes, although I want to, I don't know how long it will take to find Serena, but I'll spend every last dime I have searching until we do."

"I want you to take mine," Emmett said, reaching into his shirt pocket.

"No, Emmett."

"Yes, Edward."

"Emmett, we might not need it. I pray we find Serena right away and can have her in our arms by Thanksgiving, but thank you, just the same. It's very kind of you to offer."

"That's no offer, buddy, it's a promise. I won't _make_ you take the money now," Emmett put his giant hand on my shoulder to ensure I understood that he could make me do just about anything, "if you promise to ring me in a week. If you don't have her in your arms by Thanksgiving, I'm coming to help you, and you won't say no."

I looked up at my massive friend, grateful for whatever luck or grace had given me the opportunity to befriend Emmett Francis McCarty.

"Agreed," I answered holding out my frozen hand to shake Emmett's.

We were on watch until after the sun broke the next morning. After breakfast, we collapsed into our bunks for a few hours of shut eye.

I had no idea what time it was when Emmett roused me later that day, but I woke as his large paw shook my shoulder.

"How you doin', Edward?"

I groaned into the cot and scraped my cheek against the green canvas. Emmett lifted my head by my hair to get a good look at me. I knew I still needed another few hours of sleep.

"You still look like shit. Come on, we're going to the infirmary to get you checked out. You're gonna need all of your strength to find that little girl of yours."

I started to protest but thought better of it. If I went to the infirmary, maybe I'd find Rosalie and she could tell me how Bella had fared last night.

"Fine," I groaned once more.

The metal beds lining the infirmary were packed with ailing men. Bleached white linens stood stark against the dark wood floor. Agony was the common emotion filling the room. The scent of disinfectant surrounded me, reminding me of my brief bouts of consciousness in the London field hospital.

The men here were truly sick or injured. I quickly realized I had no business wasting the time of the staff that seemed to be desperately short handed. I looked up at Emmett shaking my head and turned to go.

"Can I help you?" a familiar voice called out from behind me.

My head turned quickly in the direction of the voice.

"Uh y-yeah," Emmett stammered. "My buddy here has been sick, throwing up each night. He seems fine during the day, but it's really bad at night. He's gone in the latrine for most of the night."

Rosalie's eyes met mine as I turned to face her. She half rolled her eyes at me and huffed.

"Over there," she ordered pointing at an area with a free bed. "We'll check him out, but I'm sure he's fine."

"Thank you, ma'am," Emmett answered. He was wearing a brilliant smile which Rosalie ignored. She seemed enraged that I was wasting her time.

"Emmett, I'm fine. Maybe we should go; there are obviously a lot of other soldiers in here worse off than me. Come on."

"Nonsense, she's already called you over," Emmett answered half shoving me in the direction of Rosalie and the free cot.

I sat gingerly while Rosalie glared down at me.

"Take off your shirt," she ordered.

Mentally I groaned, already realizing this was a really bad idea on my part. I complied as ordered, fingering the buttons and tugging on the hem of my shirt. Rosalie's eyes never met mine. She acted professionally, as if she'd never seen me before.

She shoved a thermometer in my mouth, and while taking my blood pressure, she began to talk to Emmett.

"How many nights?" she asked.

"What?" Emmett sounded half dazed. "I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, ma'am."

"How many nights has he been sick?"

"Three."

"And during the day?" she raised her eyes after ripping the blood pressure sleeve from my arm.

"He seems fine," Emmett answered.

Rosalie turned to me.

"Pissing and shitting alright?" she asked while raising one of her blonde eyebrows.

Rosalie was going to get her revenge for my presence one way or another. Emmett about choked on his tongue but all I could do was nod with the thermometer still stuck in my mouth.

_This is humiliating._

"I'm sure he'll be fine mister…?"

"McCarty. Emmett Francis McCarty," he answered while offering his hand.

Rosalie ignored him once more. She pulled her stethoscope from her pocket and placed it in her ears. Leaning forward, she placed the tip beneath my undershirt.

"Deep breaths," she ordered.

While moving the stethoscope to various positions on my back, Rosalie began to speak. Her words were barely loud enough for me to hear in the crowded ward.

"She has a fever."

My whole body stiffened. Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder to steady me while she moved the stethoscope to a new position on my back.

"We started her on a round of penicillin last night," she whispered. "The doctor saw her this morning, and I just checked on her during my break about a half hour ago. The fever is down."

I took in and let out a deep breath. Not because of Rosalie's ministrations but out of both concern and frustration that I couldn't be with Bella at the moment.

"Come see her tonight. I think it would do her some good."

I nodded once and glance over at the clock across the ward. My shoulders fell when I realized that it would be another twelve hours before I could reach her.

Rosalie stood and flipped her stethoscope around her neck.

"I think he's fine," she said to Emmett. "The boat has a wicked roll, nearly thirty degrees some nights. When you're lying in bed, it seems more pronounced because you're not up and moving about." She looked down and smirked at me. "It hits a few of the weaker stomachs every trip."

I huffed in aggravation; we both knew that I'm neither weak nor sick. Emmett laughed at her comment, and for a brief moment, I saw Rosalie's AoD expression soften. In the next instant, she was giving him orders.

"Make sure he keeps his fluids up; dehydration makes it worse."

Rosalie plucked the thermometer from my mouth, giving it just a moment's glance.

"Yup, normal." Rosalie eyed me hard. "Come back if you feel _worse _otherwise get the hell out of my ward. I have real work to do."

"Yes, ma'am."

Emmett's eyes were bigger than saucers as we walk back out to the galley. He let out a long slow whistle.

"You're going back tomorrow," he barked.

"What? NO! Once with the A-O-D is enough for me."

"AoD? What are you talking about?"

"Angel of Death," I spat.

"She's an angel all right and a feisty one at that. I want to see her again. Either you're sick again tomorrow, or I'm gonna make you be sick."

"Emmett, she doesn't want to see your ass wound. Trust me."

He smirked. "There's gotta be a way I can get to her."

Emmett was not the brightest bulb in this department. His comment a few days earlier about women wanting to "kiss it better" for him only solidified my opinion.

"Emmett, she works in a hospital ward with men all day. Don't you think she gets hit on enough? I doubt that's going to win her over."

Emmett groaned.

"You're right, you're right." He sulked.

I couldn't stand to see the pathetic look in his eyes, and despite my every instinct and better judgment, I promised myself to help Emmett anyway.

oo!OO!oo

I quietly slid off my cot after one in the morning only to feel Emmett's giant paw once again around my calf. Although I almost expected it this time, the action still startled me.

"Stomach again?"

"Yes."

"Want me to take you to the infirmary?" he asks a little too excitedly.

"No, I want you to let go of my leg unless you want to be wearing my dinner shortly."

Emmett growled and rolls over. _"Just trying to help," _I heard him mumble.

"Sorry, Emmett. I know you are."

With that I snuck away into the darkness to find Bella. I gave my customary knock before slipping my key in the door and entering her room. Bella was sitting up in her bed while Rosalie stared her down.

"You will not. Not tonight."

Bella looked both relieved and angered at my presence. I made my way quickly to her bed to protect her from Rosalie's bark, if not her bite as well.

"Bella? Are you all right? A- I mean, Rosalie said you had a fever."

"I'm fine," she grumbled.

"And you're going to stay in bed tonight to keep it that way," Rosalie hissed.

I was perplexed by this. Where the hell could she go anyway? It's not like she could roam the boat. I looked to Rosalie for answers.

"Now that you're here, she wants to get out of bed and do some physical therapy. Her fever broke less than twelve hours ago. She's staying in bed tonight."

"I understand," I replied, but my wife didn't look at all pleased with my response.

Rosalie stood and shifted toward the door.

"Good. I'll check on you tomorrow, Bella."

As the door closed, I immediately sat on Bella's bed and pulled her chest against mine. My fingers were in her hair while my free hand wrapped around her tiny frame. My heart was pounding against hers. I realized that I'd gone too long without seeing her, touching her, talking to her. That, coupled with Rosalie's news, had made me a wreck all day.

Bella wrapped her arms around me tightly, sensing my worry. The fear and the separation were too familiar for us. She pulled back from my embrace and stared into my eyes.

"I'm okay, Edward," she reassured me.

My lips pressed against hers, and I reveled in her skin surrounding mine. My entire body relaxed in her embrace. She pressed kisses along my neck until her posture suddenly changed and she began climbing over top of me. She was pushing me to lie down on her bed.

"Bella," I warned.

My body had been aching for her for days now, but Carlisle's warning sounded again in my mind.

"Edward," she said my name with a throaty moan. "I've been hulled up in this room for days now. I've been reading your journal to keep myself from going insane but hearing your thoughts, your words on the pages and not being able to touch you or talk to you… It's agony, Edward. I haven't seen you in two days and I _need_ you."

I swallowed…hard.

"Bella, it's not that I don't want you. _God_ I want you," I groaned pulling her scent through my lungs. Her desire fueled mine. "We just need to be careful," I reminded her, placing a hand against her healing skin.

Bella ignored me and began releasing the buttons of my shirt. I quickly grabbed her wrists to stop her.

"There are other things we can do, with each other, to each other, Edward."

My head dropped back, and I stared at the ceiling. The sultry drip of her voice was nearly my undoing.

"Stay," I begged.

I picked up a basin lying next to her bed and brought it to the sink. I filled it with warm water and returned with a wash cloth and some soap. I knelt at her bedside and pulled the covers up over her, revealing only her arm to start with. Each pass of the warm soapy water was followed by the trail of my lips, kissing licking and worshiping her body with mine.

Kissing the crook of her elbow sent shivers down her body.

Reaching her lower back relaxed all of her muscles until her head lolled back toward the ceiling.

Nipping her ankle, produced in a low, moan from her mouth.

And her breasts, God her breasts. I devoured them over and over with my fingertips, my tongue and my teeth.

I trailed the washcloth lower and Bella took in a deep breath, preparing herself as my lips traveled down her chest and over her navel. The warm water and the friction from the washcloth was barely enough, she needed more.

_She needs me._

"Edward."

I cursed under my breath at the sound of my name falling from her lips. I whispered against her flesh, vowing to give her everything she needed. Bella's body was my second skin. Despite the many months of separation, I knew where and how to touch her. I brought her right up to the edge of release and stopped if only for a brief moment. I could hear her whimper in need. A slow smile spread across my face and I leaned forward once more until my lips joined her flesh and started to hum. That was her trigger. Bella's body bean to quake and I reached up to place my hand over her mouth. Bella covered my hand with both of hers trying to keep the scream from escaping her mouth. She shook, almost violently, against my hands and my mouth. The beauty of her body in release eclipsed any other sight I've ever witnessed. I felt ridiculously drunk on the way her body responded to me; fueled by the knowledge that only I could make her feel this way.

_Hell, I'm smug. _

My lips pressed a soft kiss to the top of Bella's head as her body relaxed, calm and satiated. Her breath was still ragged, but I felt her fingers inch forward and tug against my belt.

I stopped her, shaking my head even though I really, _really _didn't want to.

"You're tired; you need to rest, love."

A seductive smile spreads across her face.

"Okay, I have an idea. I want to watch…you."

I pulled back to stare into her eyes. They were serious as stone. Could I do this? The idea was both unnerving and exciting at the same time.

Bella ran her hands over the tops of my thighs.

"I'll talk you through it."

_And she did._

She told me in excruciating detail where and how she would touch me, how much pressure she would use, where her mouth and hands would toy with me until my body was aching for release. At last, she told me to shut my eyes and imagine her everywhere on my skin.

"It's me, Edward. It's me holding you, stroking you, teasing you, surrounding you. It's me, my lips, my tongue, my body sealed with yours."

I open my eyes just long enough to see her tongue lick both her lips. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly. She took my free hand and returned it to her body. Another moan escaped her lips. Her words continued growing more insistent, her body arched, tensing and released once more as I stroked her.

_I came undone. _

oo!OO!oo

Together we lay beneath the sheets with Bella's body wrapped around mine. Her breaths fell against my ear. I found myself blissfully happy; she was welcoming me home.

Just when I thought she had finally fallen asleep, she spoke.

"Edward," she started and then paused. "Where did all the money come from?"

"I got my GI pay; all the men did. You should have seen how much convincing it took me to keep Emmett from blowing it all on craps today."

Bella laughed. "How's he doing?"

I shrugged. "I think he's up a hundred."

"How about you?"

"How about me, what?"

"How much have you lost…or won?" she asked in amusement.

"I'm not playing."

"What? Why not? Weren't you the one who wanted to teach Seth?"

"I'm not playing," I stated flatly. "Bella, this is all the money I have to offer you. I left for the army when I turned eighteen. I had just graduated a week earlier. I didn't have two nickels to my name. Now, I have a wife and a child to support."

We'd never spoken about money before or how we were going to support ourselves after the war. Now, the reality of going home started crashing down on me.

"Edward, honey, we'll be fine. I worked after Charlie left, and I saved most of it. We'll find jobs. It will be okay."

"No," I said louder this time. Not really caring if Rosalie could hear me. "I want you to be able to stay at home with Serena. You've been gone away from her for too long already. She'll need her mama."

Bella started rubbing her hands over her face and pressing her fingers into her temples. She looked as though she was trying to calm herself before she spoke too hastily.

"Edward," she paused after saying only my name. "You remember why I first fell for you, right?"

I thought back to the way I explained our relationship to Jasper.

_Bella spent most of her young life trying to prove herself. She was so used to being told no because she was a woman. She liked that I treated her as an equal, as a partner in every way possible. Once she knew I saw her that way, she let her guard down and probably for the first time in her life showed someone her true self._

"You liked how I treated you as a partner, as my equal."

She nodded.

"That's still true, Bella. You are my partner; you are my life. You know that. But I also know how hard you pushed yourself to survive for this baby, to give her life. You haven't even held her, and you're telling me you can leave her with someone else so that we can have a nice home and food on the table?"

"I would do it."

"I know you would. That's not my point. I don't want you to have to make that choice. I want to provide for us. Please don't deny me this."

"I'm not denying you anything, Edward," she barked. "I'm not saying I have to work. I'm only saying that we need to do this together. It's the same as anything else we've ever done. We'll do it right because we'll do it together. We'll make the decision together when the time comes. Okay?"

I nodded pulling her closer and wrapping my arms around her frame. Bella let out a sigh, and I dropped my chin to her shoulder.

"We'll always do it, whatever _it_ is…together."

o!OO!oo

The winds were more settled this morning as I stared out on the water. Shouts from the craps game behind me were only a mild distraction from Bella and Serena.

Today Emmett was losing.

_Badly._

His luck had been rather awful from the moment he joined the first game. In turn, I kept a close eye on his shirt pocket. The money he promised to return home with remained safely tucked inside. However, the gambling money in his pants was dwindling quickly.

His first two turns as the shooter came up craps. Then he rolled a set of box cars and an ace deuce. Deciding that perhaps he'd have better luck against the other shooters, he covered bets but subsequently lost another three in a row. On his next turn with the dice, his point was an easy four, but after three more rolls, he rolled a seven out.

"The dice are cold, Emmett," I called. "Let's go."

"They're just warming up," he countered.

"So is the hole in your pocket. Come on," I called again, urging him to leave.

Emmett stood but made no move to leave the game.

"Fine, why don't you give it a try?"

"Can't. No money to gamble with," which was true.

"Come on, Edward, your luck has to be better than mine right now."

"New shooter!" Emmett yelled while placing the dice in my hands.

"No, Emmett," I snarled through gritted teeth. "I can't pay you back if I lose."

"You're not going to lose, and besides, I know you'd pay me back when you could someday."

Before I could argue any further, Emmett placed the last hundred dollars of his play money on the cardboard. I lunged to pick it up, but the boxman pulled the money into the pot just as my fingers reached the ground. I was beyond furious, that was more than a month's pay he'd just laid down for me.

Emmett grinned. "It's all up to you now, buddy."

The dice rolled smoothly between my hands. I began praying I wouldn't lose his money in the thirty seconds it was going to take me to toss two rolls.

My first roll was a seven and just like that the men covering the bet coughed up my winnings. I quickly handed the hundred dollars I'd just won back to Emmett. His original hundred was still on the play line when the boxman handed me the dice again.

"Coming out," he called.

I sighed, frustrated that I didn't pick up the original bet in time. The dice left my fingers once more; it was a three and a five, an easy eight. Two rolls later I rolled a hard eight and doubled my money. I left fifty on the pass line, placing one-fifty in my pocket and picked up the dice once more. Emmett was patting me on the back, confident that my victories were all due to his lucky influence.

Three turns later, I was shoving another hundred and fifty dollars in my pocket leaving two fifty on the line. My heart was pumping furiously in my chest; the adrenaline a wicked high that had pulled me into the moment. My head was spinning; my fingers tingled from the dice running back and forth in my hands. A surge ran through me as Emmett screamed and hollered over my play. I felt surer about the throws than I'd ever imagined. It wasn't confidence or cockiness; it was fact. I knew the dice were going to hit. At that point, I was up four thousand dollars, and I could hardly breathe.

All of the activity surrounding our game had stopped. Men were tossing cash right and left to get in on the action before I could throw again. They were all drooling over my winnings, waiting to snatch it back and fight over their share. Three men stood at the edge of the cardboard, arms crossed and determined. A wicked sneer covered the face of the dark haired man in the middle. My grin in return was mocking, my eyebrow arched in response.

_Game on._

The dice slid easily within my grasp. My breathing slowed and my eyes drifted closed as the moment hit me. The amount of money on the floor was more than I'd seen in my entire lifetime. It had probably taken my dad fifteen years to earn that much while Riley and I were growing up. My mind whirled and I briefly wondered what the hell I was doing. I needed to take the money and run. Bella and I would be set for a long time with that much money in our pockets. Before I could react the final stack of money was placed on the pass line by the dark haired man in the middle. He was goading me and my body shivered slightly against his deliberately menacing look. I swallowed hard shucking the dice in my hand. One last gasp of air escaped me as I open my hand and the dice danced across my fingertips and onto the cardboard.

I knew it. I could feel it with absolute certainty before the dice had even come to a stop.

_The streak was over._

_

* * *

_

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide: **Lucky Strike**  
**

**Story reference: **Edward rolls straight passes in a craps game

**Historical Significance: **Craps was a regular pastime for soldiers in WWII. The rules are similar to Casino craps with other players covering the shooter's bets.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)poker24casino(dot)com/strategy/craps(dot)php

* * *

**A/N: **The idea for this chapter was personal for me; more details will follow after chapter 21.

Voting for the Hidden Star Awards ends on Tuesday, September 14th. Please visit and support your favorite stories and authors. There a lots of wonderful stories nominated. If you haven't checked out Breaking News or Tunes with Tony Masen (both nominated) they'll be worth the read. http:/thehiddenstarawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/voting(dot)html

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	21. Chapter 21 In the Wings

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

A/N From some of the reviews I received, there may be some confusion over the end of the last chapter. Edward had all of his money on the line when he rolled, roughly four thousand dollars. In 2010, this would be roughly equal to $50,000.

_Grandmom...for you._**_  
_**

* * *

**In The Wings**

The buzz around me was so loud that I couldn't think. Men were shouting, cursing, and nearly deranged at the sight before them. Before I could take a breath Emmett threw me in the air and pushed against my chest so hard that all of the air has escaped my lungs. I fell backward on my ass, stunned.

His voice was echoing in my ears but the haze had yet to release me. My eyes stared blankly up at my friend.

"Did you hear me?" he demanded. "What the hell are you going to do with all that money?"

_What?_

With the help of Emmett's outstretched hand, I was pulled to my feet. I took two steps back toward the cardboard and leaned over at my roll.

_It's a fucking seven._

_ A seven._

_ I won._

There was eight thousand dollars lying on the deck in front of me. I looked over at Emmett with a stunned blank expression. I could only muster two words at this point.

"I'm done."

"What?"

"Emmett, I'm done. I know with absolute certainty that if I roll again, I'll lose."

Emmett reached forward to swipe the money off the pass line before the boxman could call on any more bets.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the dark haired man growled at Emmett.

Emmett swept the money off the line, stood to his full height and folded his massive arms over his chest.

"My friend says he's done."

He wrapped his massive paw around my shoulder.

"Take off your shirt, Edward."

I did as I was told and handed my shirt to Emmett. He refastened the buttons and knotted the arm holes to create a make shift bag.

"Fill it," he ordered, thrusting the shirt back into my hands.

My knees gave out, collapsing me to the deck. My arm swept the cash and seconds later I was cradling the stash against my chest. Emmett pulled me behind his frame.

"We're leaving now," he stated with authority. "Anyone got a problem with that?"

Angry bitter curses followed but quickly hushed, and I knew that no one was stupid enough to try to take on Emmett on the open deck. Officers were watching from the wheelhouse and leaning over the sundeck watching us intently. We turned to leave, and once again, I felt grateful for my good natured but intimidating friend.

We went back to the bunks and counted the money. Emmett found a sack and together we stuffed eight thousand dollars in it. The balance I gave to Emmett telling him to have a good night on the town when we got to New York.

"Where are you going?" he asked as I stood shoving the sack under my shirt and tucking my pants back into place.

"I'm going to stash the money."

"Where?" he asked.

"I don't want you to know. They can't come after you if you don't know where the money is."

"If they come after you, they come after me, Edward."

I grinned, slapping Emmett on the shoulder.

"They have to catch me first."

oo!OO!oo

Two days passed, and we were finally on the home stretch of our journey. After breakfast Emmett yanked me up the stairwell to the crowded deck. Not long after, the men began shouting over the railing, waving at everyone and everything. The salty air was electric around us as the Queen Mary steamed up the Hudson to dock in New York.

An amazing chill ran through my body as one man spotted her and then another. Before long, all of us were craning our necks just to get a glimpse of her. _Lady Liberty._ She stood as a massive tower, a beacon for everything we'd fought for, everything we'd survived in order to get back here. To our _home. _I saw more than one man wipe away a stray tear, and my own emotions swelled as I realized that I too have somehow made it back to US soil.

More than I ever could have imagined had happened in the last two years of my life. I've battled, lived, loved, lost and found, and for all of it, I'm a better, stronger man. Deep within my very soul, I realized that I could say this because I had _her_. I could be happy and excited about my future; undoubtedly I had one to look forward to because of Bella. A shudder ran through me as I contemplated what this journey home would have been like without her.

_What if I hadn't found her in time? What if Carlisle hadn't discovered penicillin could help her? What if it didn't work? What if James had gotten to her?_

I realized that in order to keep my sanity, I needed to focus on the fact that we had survived all of those things and so much more, Dagnaw, Normandy, Marginy. My head shook back and forth as I remembered just how many people were responsible for getting us here. I saw the images of our friends in the faces of the crowd that had gathered to welcome us home.

_Angela, Ben, Esme, Carlisle, Mike, Seth, Siobhan, Liam, Charlie, Rosalie, Emmett and lastly…Jasper_

Each person was like a puzzle piece, fitting into our life at the right moment to get us here. I couldn't help but wonder who had been working so diligently to make everything turn out right for me. _For both of us._ The realization suddenly hit me, stunning me as the tears streaked down my face. When I left here, I was so lost; now I had everything to live for, to find…to love. In the middle of all of the cheers and shouting, a hushed prayer of thanks fell from my lips.

_Thank you, Riley._

I took a deep breath, and at the sound, Emmett turned over his shoulder to make sure I was okay. He had become my constant shadow over these two days. The unease was nagging at his otherwise buoyant personality. I had to admit, I kept my senses about me, looking for men lurking in the stalls of the latrine or down empty corridors. Although the money was never on my person, that wouldn't have stopped anyone's attempt to beat the living crap out of me until they discovered its hiding place.

"_Edward, do you realize that there's enough here to buy a house, lock, stock and barrel?"_

Emmett's words sounded again in my ear and a huge simile crossed my face. _There was. _Bella wouldn't have to work a day in her life if she didn't want to. She could stay at home and raise Serena without worry. A half chuckle, half snort escaped from me as I realized again that luck like that was truly impossible…at least without a little help from up above.

_I got it, Riley. I'm never getting rid of you, am I? _

Angel or constant pain in the ass, either way I was much happier, thinking of him hanging around.

Thirty minutes later, the gigantic boat docked and the masses began piling out, ready to leap into the arms of family and friends. I huddled with Emmett over the bough, smiling to myself as the first men jumped and shouted, stamped, marched, whooped and hollered that they were finally home. My heart smiled at the kisses and hugs and cheers of delight.

_ We really were home._

I told Emmett days ago that I would be staying on the boat until it was nearly empty before retrieving the winnings. Retrieving the money was only part of the reason; the more important part was Bella. We were going to keep her cover as long as possible. I noticed Emmett checking his wristwatch a second time in the last few minutes.

"Emmett, I'm going to be fine," I assured him. "It's after two, and your train leaves at three thirty." I turned to look him in the eye. I was more grateful than my words could express. "I'll be okay, Emmett. I can't thank you enough, my friend."

Emmett pulled me into a massive hug, and I could hardly breathe. For a moment, I pitied the women subjected to his overzealous affection. When he finally set me back down, I was rewarded with a rough punch to the shoulder and a big burly grin. I groaned and return his playful smile.

_That's definitely going to leave a bruise._

"You had better ring me within the week, Edward, or when I find you, and I _will _find you," he added dropping his voice an octave. "I'm going to make your lips kiss my hairy ass all better."

The image made me shudder.

"I mean it. Pick up, or pucker up, buddy."

At that point I was in a full out belly laugh, I couldn't help it. Emmett joined me and soon we were both rolling like school kids. The mixture of home and happiness was infectious. I held the paper with the phone number for Emmett's relations against my forehead, pressing it as if to memorize it by osmosis.

"I'll call, trust me." I grinned.

"Then you'll come visit right? I want to meet that wife and daughter of yours. I know your wife's a beauty. I can't wait to see her and your little one with my own two eyes."

"I'd like that."

Emmett slapped me on the back once more and slung his duffel over his shoulder. He waved once more as he turned to make his way down the stairwell. After another fifteen minutes, I decided it was time. I pushed myself away from the rail and wove through the remaining soldiers and crew left on the boat. Drifting down two flights of stairs to A deck, I made my way to the opposite end of the boat. I frequently checked to see if I had been followed before approaching the door with a solitary cross emblazoned in its center. My knuckle rapped gently against the wood. Nervously, I pressed the handle of my service arm against my bare skin. Its cool metal reassured me that I would be able protect both of us if necessary.

"Hello?" a voice called from the other side of the door.

"It's me, chaplain. Edward."

Seconds later, I was greeted by the friendly smile of Father Stanley.

"Hello, Edward," he called, welcoming me with a genuine embrace.

He lifted the covers spread over his bed and hoisted the mattress up a few inches. He placed the flattened envelope securely in my hands. I was still stunned by my good fortune. I reached inside, pulled several bills out and placed them into father's hands.

"I'm sure you can do something good with this, Father."

Before he could reply, I lifted my shirt and placed the envelope in the front of my pants before repositioning the cloth to conceal it. I checked my watch, thanked Father once more and headed down the stairs and back along the corridors toward my bunkroom. The corridor was empty when I reached it. The silence felt unsettling and almost eerie. I decided to leave my gun where it was for now. I ducked into the room, which now contained only empty bunks. My bag was the only one left in the room. I looked it over before approaching. It appeared untouched since Emmett and I had left it there a few hours ago.

My palms were sweaty as I reached for the bag. I slung it over my shoulders, knocking the gun further to the left.

_This won't work. If I'm attacked, I won't be able to reach it quickly. _

I checked my watch again and realized that I only had a few minutes before Bella and Rosalie left her ward. I quickly unfastened my trousers and pulled the gun back into place before I picked up the bag with my left hand. A deep breath filled my lungs. I was more confident, knowing I could reach my gun if I need it. Without delay, I returned to the stairwell and made my way down the last flight to E deck.

As I came around the edge of the stairwell, I began to search for her. The doorway leading to the gangplank was now no more than thirty yards ahead of me. I leaned slightly to make out the figure walking ahead of me. Their gait was off; whoever it was certainly wasn't making time to get himself off this boat. The figure shifted slightly to the left, and I could instantly tell it was Rosalie, dressed in civilian clothes, with her hair pinned up. She was pushing Bella's wheelchair in front of her.

A gust of air left my chest. She was right there, still dressed as an ill soldier but not too worse for wear. Rosalie stopped at the edge of the doorway to stoop down and pick up a duffel bag for Bella. I was about to protest at the weight I thought she was about to place on my wife's lap when I suddenly lost all the air in my lungs.

My hands flew up to my neck as a strong forearm wrapped around me cutting off all air to my windpipe. I tried to choke, but no air can enter or escape. I was in a haze as my assailant began to drag me back toward the stairwell. I felt almost relieved that I didn't have a chance to call out to Rosalie and endanger her or Bella. As I was being dragged, the heel of my shoe clicked loudly against the wooden molding of the wall. Before I could even begin to think about how I could defend myself, two deafening clicks reverberated through the hall.

My assailant froze momentarily. I was still without air, but I managed to lift my eyes to the vision before me, Bella and Rosalie had turned with pistols cocked and pointed dead center on my assailant.

_No, NO!_

A knife was positioned at the edge of my neck in response. The point pressed against my skin and I felt a sharp pain as it pierced my skin.

"You can't save him," the assailant spat at my wife. "I've just come for the money he stole, _MY _money."

"Take it," Bella coughed.

I couldn't tell if she was trying to keep up the façade of being an ill soldier or just trying to buy me some time. Her eyes bore into mine, but I was too far away to clearly read her signal. I don't know if she wanted me to go left or just collapse under my own weight. My mind was reeling and I could feel myself losing consciousness. I realized that the signal wouldn't matter in a few seconds when I passed out and became dead weight on his arm. My only shot was to fall and fall hard enough to take him down with me. My eyes blinked and I tried to reason how Bella would react. Before I could think of anything, a third click sounded. This one was close. _Very close._

"They can't, but I can," the voice called out in an angry growl. "Drop him, or I'll splatter your brains all over this boat."

My assailant hesitated and I could feel my eyes begin to roll behind my head.

"NOW," the voice bellowed louder now. My body would have flinched if I'd had any control over my muscles.

My body could hold on no longer and I heard a scream as the weight of my body collapsed to the ground.

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **21 In the Wings

**Story reference: **Edward wins eight thousand dollars playing craps in straight rolls.

**Historical Significance: **During his return voyage from Japan to San Fransisco my grandfather won nearly eight thousand dollars playing craps. It was enough to by my grandparents first home at 723 N. 67TH Street in Philadelphia. They lived there together for nearly sixty years.

**Source: **http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0000akz8**

* * *

**

**Story reference: **Edward's winnings are enough to secure his and Bella's financial future.

**Historical Significance: **Inflation calculated at roughly 3.9% over the period. Between Edward's winnings and his GI pay, Edward and Bella would have over $125K in today's dollars to buy a house and raise a family.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)dollartimes(dot)com/calculators/inflation(dot)htm

* * *

A/N: I knew from early on that I would find a way to write the gambling sequence into the story line. This actually happened to my Grandfather on his return trip from Japan to San Francisco. There is some confusion over whether he won the money in straight rolls or over the course of the two week trip, but I like the idea of him winning it all at once. The part of the story where he gives the money to the chaplain for safekeeping is also true. Once my grandfather got to San Francisco, he wired the money to my grandmother in Philadelphia. He returned home from the war in February of 1945 and they were married in early March, two days before my Grandmother's 21st birthday. The family story from there is not part of TLB but it was pretty interesting. If you want to know the rest of the tale let me know and I'll PM you the rest.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-First Blush


	22. Chapter 22 Thanksgiving

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

A/N_: Thank you for the reviews last chapter, I'm glad folks enjoyed the little piece of family history I put into TLB. I'm posting early this morning. I won't be able to do it later tonight. Have a great weekend everyone._**_  
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Thanksgiving

Time passed. I wasn't sure how long, but when my eyes finally fluttered open, Rosalie and Bella were leaning over me. My assailant was nowhere to be found.

"Hey," Bella gently called down to me as she pressed a cloth underneath my chin.

"Hey, beautiful," I replied hoarsely through a cough.

I heard Emmett chuckle from somewhere overhead, and I lifted my eyes to see him grinning while he looked down at me.

"I'm guessing you know this soldier?" He chuckled while gesturing toward Bella.

I nodded. It hurt to talk.

"Well," he remarked with a note of sarcasm. "I have a feeling you're the beautiful Mrs. Masen I've been hearing about. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Emmett crouched down and thrust his giant paw in front of my wife. After shaking her hand enthusiastically, he leaned forward to Bella and spoke softly. I was close enough to her that I could still hear his gentle words.

"Your picture doesn't begin to do you justice, fair lady."

Maybe the lack of oxygen was still affecting my brain, but for a moment, I swore I heard Emmett McCarty being charming.

Bella pressed the cloth a little harder against my neck to stem the bleeding from my wound. The pain brought back the memory of my assailant. My eyes grew wide, and I tried to sit up, but Rosalie pressed me back down. My head whipped back and forth searching for an angry, armed soldier who would threaten my wife.

"Easy," Rosalie ordered. She pried my eyelids open wider and searched them methodically with a trained eye. After another few moments, she sat back on her heals and looked toward Bella. "He'll be fine. Let's just get him up slowly."

Emmett and Rosalie each took an arm and pulled me up to a sitting position. My mind whirled as the rush of blood made me nearly pass out again. I curled forward and tried to bring my hand up to my forehead in an effort to still the spinning motion surrounding my haze. The action pulled my shirt tighter against my back and the crinkling echo of a thick manila envelope sounded in my ears.

_Thank God, the money's still there._

Emmett wrapped me on the back lightly, feeling the envelope shift under his hand.

"Good," he said quietly, acknowledging more to himself than to me that I hadn't been robbed.

"Emmett, where is he?" I choked. Once more I started scanning for an attacker who could go after Bella at her most vulnerable, when she was looking after me.

"Our _friend_, is safely in the custody of the ship's officers. He'll have a nice stay in the brig until Captain Bissett decides what to do with him next.

"I thought you had a train to catch," I managed with a grunt.

"I decided to wait for a friend."

I smiled back at my friend, more indebted to him than my words could ever express. Emmett lifted his eyes in the direction of Rosalie, and his own wide smile softened.

"Miss Hale, I'm-"

"You're Emmett Francis McCarty."

Emmett looked stunned, wondering how Rosalie knew his name. I'm sure he didn't expect her to remember him from our short visit to the infirmary.

"Bella's been filling me in after Edward's visits," she said somewhat mockingly. "You didn't really think he was sick only from midnight till four am _every _night did you?"

Emmett looked down, probably ashamed now that he bought my act.

_The AoD was pissing me off._

"Are you insulting my subversion tactics as an operative, Miss Hale?" I spat in an effort to divert attention away from Emmett.

"Still pissing and shitting okay, Edward?" she quipped in reply.

Emmett let out a full blown belly laugh, and despite the fact that he was laughing at my expense, I couldn't help but follow him. Emmett's laughter was infectious. He's a good soul who just saved my life and likely Bella's and Rosalie's in the process. If she was too stupid to see this for herself, she didn't deserve his affections.

"You don't take any shit do you, Miss Hale?"

"None whatsoever."

"And you can defend yourself too, that's…" Emmett paused in an apparent attempt to find a word that wasn't too crass. "Appealing."

Rosalie laughed. When her smile came out, her beauty truly took over, and I almost forgot her obnoxious comments for a moment. _Almost._

"I bet I could kick your ass, Mr. McCarty." Rosalie paused. "Do you prefer Emmett or Francis?" she gloated. I cringed at the thought of Bella telling her the story of how Emmett and I had met.

"Well, Miss Hale, you can call me anything you like if you'll accompany me to dinner tonight and tell me how you learned to hold a gun like that."

Rosalie's smile grew as she nodded once with her reply. Before another second passed, I was hoisted up off the floor and set on my feet. Emmett then turned to Bella and gently asked for her permission before he lifted her back into her wheelchair.

Emmett was going to get his wish; a chance to woo the Angel of Death. I shook my head at the frightening thought of their match, but I had to admit I was happy for him, nonetheless.

Rosalie positioned herself behind Bella as Emmett motioned with his hand for her to go first. I smirked once at my friend.

"Don't think I'm forgetting about our deal, Edward. You'd better find a way to reach me by the end of the week, or Bella won't want to kiss you after finding out where you're lips have been."

"I'll remember, Emmett. And thank you…for everything."

I looked down the gangplank to find Bella and Rosalie in a tight embrace. Emmett was staring too; his lighthearted smile made me wonder what else beyond her physical beauty attracted him to Rosalie. With a chagrined nod, I offered him once last piece of advice for his own protection.

"You'd better take the bullets out before you let _her_ play with your gun, Emmett."

Emmett half laughed before leaning over my shoulder.

"Buddy, I can't remove the bullets from the gun I really want her to touch."

He pulled back so that I could see him wagging his eyebrows at me.

_Ugh, yick, blech, so much for Emmett being charming. Perhaps they deserve one another._

After promising to contact them both within the week, we bid Rosalie and Emmett a final farewell. Bella and I made our way to the subway and boarded a train for Brooklyn. A nervous chill ran through me as we neared my building. I noticed every change and compared it to my memories. Some buildings have been repainted, new signs were up, and some of the older businesses were gone. It was the same but…different. I was different. I'd changed so much that I couldn't imagine myself slipping back into that old life again. In a way, I realized that this wasn't home anymore. I looked down at my wife and smiled knowing that my home was wherever she was.

It took me three trips up the seven flights of our walk up to get everything, including my wife, up to our floor. My chest was heaving in discomfort. Bella protested but quickly lost when I lifted her out of her chair and carried her over my shoulder. On the second trip, I went back for her wheelchair, and on the third, I got the last of our bags. Bella smiled at my sweaty form as I leaned against the outer wall of our apartment. The door to my parent's home loomed about ten feet away from where I stood. I was happy, and anxious, and stalling…_definitely stalling_. After a few more minutes, I finally caught my breath, and Bella pulled me by the arm.

"Come on, it's time for me to meet my mother-in-law." She grinned.

I shook my head in embarrassment. Here I was nervous about seeing my mother when I already knew how happy she would be to see me. Bella, on the other hand, had to prepare herself to meet her for the first time.

"She's going to love you."

"Oh yeah, how do you know that?" she asked with a suspicious eye.

I leaned forward pulling on the back of her neck and pressed her lips to mine.

"I know it because she loves me, and aside from the fact that you're perfect, loving me means loving you."

Bella moaned softly against my lips then shoved me away toward the door. She stayed a few feet down from the doorway to give me a few moments with my mom first. I steadied myself and then a half smile appeared as I decided how to surprise her. I leaned against the doorway and knocked loudly once before folding my arms across my chest and casually crossing one leg in front of the other.

I heard the click of my mother's heels as she walked toward the door.

"Yes?" she called out before reaching to open it.

"Post, ma'am," I answered, lowering my voice a bit to disguise it. "Delivery for the Masen residence."

"Be right there," I heard her call sweetly.

My heart rate picked up at the sound of her voice. It had been so long since I had last heard it. A second or two passed. I imagined my mother going back to the living room to get a quarter from the side table drawer to give to the postman. The clicking resumed, and I could feel her getting close. It was difficult to remain in my cocky and casual position when all I wanted was to see the smile that was about to hit her face.

"I wasn't expecting -" she began as the door flew open.

It took her a half second before her green eyes flashed in recognition. Her scent wafted toward me, hitting me like a warm hug as she opened the door. It was the same Chanel No 5 perfume that followed her every day of my childhood. My mother's auburn waves were a little grayer now; she had a few more soft lines around her eyes, but the staple of her green housecoat remained.

"EDWARD!" she screamed while launching herself at me. "Oh my God, baby, you're alive."

Her arms wrapped around my neck as I stepped forward and caught her in mid launch. I twirled her around once in the doorway, and she half giggled through her sobs. Her tears were coming hard and fast now. I already knew this would happen. I even allowed a few of my own to fall as she clutched me tighter. Eventually she released me and cupped my face in her hands. She traced the outline of my cheeks and eyes, trying to see all of the changes in me. She ran her fingers through my hair just as she had done when I was a child. My eyes closed, and she pulled me by the back of my neck down so that she could kiss my lips. She moved to my forehead planting one long lingering kiss there before taking me back in her arms and pulling my head down to rest on her shoulder. Despite our height difference, I knew I wasn't too "big" to be cradled by my mom.

"Thank you, God, for bringing him back to me," she whispered.

"Mom?" I called.

"Yes, baby?"

"I love you."

"Oh, Edward, I love you too sweetheart. Come inside, your father will be home in a few minutes. I'll fix your favorite for dinner. We'll have veal parmesan, and I'll make you home-mades. I'll fix whatever else you want. Just tell me what you're hungry for." My mom started pulling on my arm to bring me into the living room.

"Mom," I said again pulling back to rest both my hands on her shoulders. "Take a breath, you can fix whatever you want, but there's someone I want you to meet first."

She gave me a confused look as I took my mother by the hand and lead her back through the doorway. I expected to find Bella as I had left her, but as usual she had a mind of her own. Her brown waves cascaded over her shoulder. She had removed her hair from her sidehat.

Instead of finding her sitting in her wheelchair, she somehow managed to pull herself up on her feet and leaned against the wall. The blanket which was covering her lap now rested on the seat of her chair.

"Bella," I chastised. I dropped my mother's hand and rushed over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist to take some of the weight off of her legs.

She smiled at me, wrapping her arm over my shoulders and kissed me gently. My hand cupped her cheek, and I looked up to see my mother staring at us completely stunned.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Isabella Masen."

Her eyes grew impossibly wider, and her hand reached up to cover her chest.

"Masen? Edward, honey, you're married to this beautiful girl?"

I nodded, but before I could get a word out, my mother rushed forward to pull Bella into a hug. I held her tightly by the waist to keep her from tipping over.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Masen," Bella replied.

"Oh child, please call me mom." Despite the shock, my mother practically glowed. "Edward honey, you look so happy," she replied rubbing the back of her fingers gently over Bella's cheek. After a second, she realized that we were still standing out in the hall. "Come inside! You must be exhausted."

I went to grab Bella under her legs, but the look she shot me warned me not to attempt it if I wanted to keep my arms attached. I chuckled to myself at her obstinacy and helped her slowly walk through the apartment and over to the couch. Her steps were stiff, but we managed our way there at a solid pace. I tucked a blanket around Bella while my mother sat across from us in my father's plaid chair. Her face was a mixture of disbelief and amusement. When she finally recovered herself, she began leaning over to grasp our hands.

"What?...How?...When?" she asked almost stumbling over the incoherent thoughts rumbling around in her mind.

I held up my hands to momentarily stave off the onslaught of her questions.

"Hold on just for a minute, Mom, let me go out and get Bella's chair and our bags. I'll be right back, and we'll tell you everything."

"Of course." She shook her head, realizing that she needed a moment to collect herself. "You must be so tired, what can I get you?"

"Nothing, Mom, we're fine for now."

"Psshhh," she admonished me. "Let your lovely wife speak for herself."

Bella looked up at me and grinned. Her condescending look said it all.

_I like her already._

"A glass of water would be lovely. Thank you," Bella answered.

She knew my mother would want to do something for us and running around the familiar setting of her kitchen would be a comfort. I stood from my seat beside Bella and made my way back down the hall to retrieve our things. On the last trip a shiver ran down my spine. I could feel him there before he even uttered a word.

"Edward?" his voice called out in a strangled cry of disbelief.

A deep breath filled my lungs as I straightened back to reach my full height. A few feet in front of me stood my older, mirror image.

_My father, Edward Sr._

Although my coloring matched my mother, my size and stature came solely from my old man. He was significantly thinner than I remembered. The gray around his formerly blond sideburns was more pronounced. The confident swagger that I remembered from my childhood was replaced by slumped and slightly bowed shoulders. But his eyes…he held more intensity in those blue depths then I'd ever seen before. Before another word could escape either of us, his arms were wrapped so tightly around mine. His embraced squeezed me to him as if he was pulling back a tethered line attempting to restore the light to his soul.

His hand pounded against my back, and I felt the stuttered breaths escaping his chest.

"_You're alive. You're here. I never believed I would see you again." _ His voice was barely above a whisper.

My arms found my way around his frame. So many hugs he'd given me as a kid, so many chances we had to say I love you to each other. But in this moment I _felt_ how much he loved me, how much he missed me. All of his fear over losing me, like we lost Riley, was pouring out into his embrace.

"I'm here, dad," I answered. I spoke the words that I knew were catching on his tongue. "I love you too."

A choked cry escaped him, and I saw him quickly wipe away his tears as he released me. I leaned against the apartment wall for support. I had never seen my dad cry, not even when I told him Riley died. Not even when I left for the war. Not once did he show me his pain. The week after Riley's death, I heard them both sobbing in their bedroom every night. The thin walls of the apartment did little to shield me; it only muffled the sounds of their agony. It was as though he felt concealing it from me would make me continue to believe he was a strong man.

Now I watched him wipe rolling tears from his face. The action triggered a fissure of pain in my chest. As I watched him, I truly realized the strength of his character.

"Your mother…" he choked out.

"She's inside…with my wife, Isabella."

As if the shock of seeing me alive and in front of him wasn't enough, the confirmation that I was married nearly dropped him to his knees. I waited a moment for my words to sink in before placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You're going to love her, Dad. She's everything I ever wanted but never even knew it. She's smart and funny and beautiful. Most of all, she knows me inside and out, and she loves me anyway."

My dad's eyes picked up to meet mine, and he pulled me toward him again hugging me out of sheer joy.

"That's the way it's supposed to be. That's all I've ever wanted for you. I love you, Edward."

His words did me in; for as many times as I'd heard him say he loved me, none of them resonated as much as they did in this moment. I left for the war, trying to escape him, my mom, and the memories of Riley. Seeing my dad cry brought what I had really done to them to light. I ran away from them. They lost one son to death and another followed by running away to war.

_How could he ever forgive me for that?_

My head dropped, and my body shook at the realization of the pain I selfishly caused him.

"I'm so sorry, Dad."

"Sorry? Why would you ever be sorry, you're here?"

"I'm sorry for the way I left you and mom. Riley was barely cold in Saint Olivet's, and I was off running half way around the world. I didn't even give you the chance to grieve before I left too."

The pain in my dad's face was evident when I mentioned Riley. He leaned forward placing one hand against the wall near my head, and with the other, he cupped my cheek. There was no escaping the burning in his eyes.

"Edward, you had just turned eighteen; you would have been drafted soon anyway."

"Yes, maybe in a few weeks or a month, but it would have given you some more time. And if I was drafted, then it wouldn't have been my choice. I chose to leave you. I chose to run. I did that. I hurt you. I hurt Mom, and I'm sorry."

A small smile appeared on his face. The corners of his mouth caught the tears dripping down just before they dropped in front of me.

"Time wouldn't have made it any easier to see you leave. Edward, you're my son. I forgive you, and seeing you alive, healthy and happy makes it a little easier to move forward."

I knew he was saying he would never forget Riley, but the relief of seeing me made the journey through his grief a little easier.

"Edward?" my mother called from the living room.

My father paused before releasing his hand from my cheek.

"Son, I only ask that you talk to your mom. Tell her what you told me. She needs to hear it just as much as I do, probably even more."

I could only nod in response. The words would have broken on my lips. My father lightly tapped my cheek, welcoming me home in the old family way.

"Come on. I want to meet your bride."

My father and I each grabbed a bag from the hall. He was half joking with me about not calling or writing about coming home when my mother spotted us. She leapt up from the couch, throwing herself at my father with more tears falling down her face. I looked over and gave Bella a little grin to remind her of how I said my mom would react just like this.

"Oh Ed," my mother cried. "I'm so happy he's all right."

Bella immediately pulled back the quilt that was covering her legs attempting to stand and greet my father. I rushed to her side as she teetered uneasily.

"Bella," I admonished.

My father heard the mention of her name and turned placing a kiss on my mother's forehead. In a few short strides he was standing before my wife. I had my arm wrapped tightly around her waist and wore a blistering smile of pride plastered across my face.

"Dad, this is my wife, Isabella Masen. Bella, this is my dad, Edward, Sr."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

My dad took Bella's hand gently between his own.

"Believe me, Isabella, the pleasure of meeting you and seeing my son alive and happy is _all mine_."

He smiled warmly at her. Bella ducked her head into my shoulder. I kissed her head in a motion similar to the embrace he just gave to my mother.

_I guess I'm more like him than I thought._

I helped Bella sit down, and over the next several hours, we began explaining how we met, when we married, how I went to the front, and finally, how I found her at the 8th. We left out anything related to the type of work we did together. I could tell by my mother's expression that she realized we were being intentionally vague, but she didn't press me. As we rose to enter the kitchen for dinner, Bella pulled on my arm stopping me.

"Edward, is that Riley?" she asked motioning to a silver frame on top of a bookshelf in the hall.

I nodded smiling softly at his image. He was maybe fifteen in the photograph. His smile looked more like a mischievous half grin. The black and white photo hid his blue eyes, but the subtle grays gave the viewer an idea of how blond his hair truly was. The palm of his hand was perched under his chin while his other hand pressed down the pages of an open book.

"Edward," she gasped as she took the photograph from my fingertips. "The resemblance is uncanny. If I didn't know about Riley, I would have sworn it was a photograph of a younger Jasper."

"I know," I answered, remembering how Jasper's face stunned me when he first drove me to ETOUSA. My head tilted to the side as I stared at my brother's smirking expression. "My dad took that picture right before we went to a Yankees game. They beat the Phillies that day."

"He looks like he's sporting a crooked smile, much like his older brother."

I smiled.

"Must be an inherited trait," I said nodding toward the kitchen. "I remember Riley being so impatient to leave that he was driving me mad. We still had thirty minutes left when my mother finally suggested that he get a head start on an English assignment. He was reading Homer's Odyssey and trying to rationalize the stupidity of Odysseus' men. It infuriated him when they opened the bag of winds from Aeolus, thinking it was gold that he hadn't shared with them. In the story, the winds sent their boat back into the storms of the sea just when their island home, Ithaca, was within their grasp. I laughed at how ironic it was. His own impatience that day landed him doing homework over the weekend instead of enjoying a warm, sunny Saturday." My head shook back and forth slowly. "I haven't thought about that day in such a long time."

"But it's a happy memory right?" Bella reached up to brush her knuckles lovingly along my cheek.

"A very happy memory." I sighed, leading Bella toward the kitchen table.

As promised, my mother fixed a literal feast. All of my favorite foods were piled high before me. My mouth began to salivate in anticipation. It was nearly as good as Christmas Eve dinner.

"Mom, this looks amazing."

"I need to fatten you both up; you're far too thin for my liking." She grinned in utter happiness at the thought of cooking for us.

My face fell when I realized I would bring both joy and sadness to her heart once more this evening. My mother was half way through the action of raising a bite to her mouth when she caught my expression and froze.

"What is it?"

"Mom." I couldn't even look her in the eye. "We're not staying."

"What? Why? You just got here."

Bella put down her fork and placed her hand on my thigh rubbing it up and down gently.

"We came home to find our daughter," she answered when I found myself at a loss for words. I knew my mother would be happy to hear we had a child, but I couldn't face the pain in her eyes over me leaving her…again.

My mother's fork clanked loudly against the plate while my father just stared at me in shock. I wrapped my hand over my mouth, rubbing it back and forth against my jawline.

"Bella found out she was pregnant about a month after I was shipped to the front. While traveling in London, her car was bombed in an air raid. She's still recovering from the burns to her legs. She's lucky to be alive."

Her hand immediately reached across the table to grasp Bella's.

"Our baby, Serena, was born a month early. Bella was in so much pain when she delivered that they put her under, and she never saw the baby. Her doctor took Serena home to the U.S. so that she could be adopted here as an American."

"My God, why would he do THAT?"

My father looked as if he were about to become unhinged. I was only on the receiving end of that fury a few times in my childhood, and I knew enough not to position myself there often.

"They expected me to die," Bella answered plainly.

"Dear God, Edward, where is she now? How old is she? Do you even know what she looks like?"

"We don't exactly know where she is. We have the address of Bella's doctor in Indiana. We're going to find him. And from there we'll find her." I said the words with all of the confidence I could muster, willing them to be true. "Serena is just barely four months old, but we don't have any idea what she looks like."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," I answered as I bowed my head to the table.

"Good," my mother replied with a determined voice. With that one word she relieved my fears. "I'll expect to hold my grandbaby by Christmas, Edward."

"From your lips to God's ears, Elizabeth," my father added.

My mother still had a firm hold on Bella's hand. She nodded toward my wife, confirming that she believed with her whole heart that it would be true. Bella bobbed her head in response. Words failed my beautiful wife. I leaned over, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and kissed her softly behind her ear.

"I see her with chubby cheeks, brown curly hair and chocolate colored eyes. I see her smiling and giggling in your arms. I see all of this every night before I go to bed, Bella. I promise you, you will have that. We'll find her together."

The strength of my words caused an agonized cry to leave Bella's mouth. She turned and pressed her lips forcefully to mine. Her hand held my cheek before her forehead leaned against my chest.

"I'm holding you to that promise, Edward Masen."

_I'll fulfill it even if it's with my last breath, Isabella._

oo!OO!oo

After dinner Bella asked to use the telephone. She was calling in for instructions. I walked her into my parent's bedroom so that she could relay the information of our arrival without alerting my parents. I grabbed the photo of Riley off the bookshelf as I made my way back to the kitchen. My dad was in the living room, and I had planned to spend some time with my mom while I helped her clean up the dishes.

"Mom"

"Do you remember the day Dad took this picture of Riley?"

"Of course, I remember everything I can about your brother," she replied sadly. "I remember him loving anything you did. He looked up to you so much. He loved baseball because you did. The sun practically rose and set on your head, Edward. "

A shudder ran through me as I realized that Riley followed me that day just because he wanted to be near me. He wanted to be like me. It's my fault.

"It was my fault he died."

"No, Edward," my mother dropped the dish in the sink and placed her wet, soapy hands on my shoulders. "it wasn't your fault. The fault belongs to the man with the gun that day."

"But, Mom, he died because of me; he followed me. And the worst part is that I screamed at him just minutes before he was shot."

"Edward," she said shaking me a little. "Riley loved you, and he knew you loved him back."

"You don't know that, Mom. The last words he ever heard from me were angry and hateful. I shouted to him,_ 'Go home.'_"

"I _do_ know it, Edward. I know my son. I know both of my sons." Her words were so forceful. She was willing me to believe her. "Edward, did Riley ignore you and follow you right into the store?"

I thought for a moment. I remembered walking in, talking to Mr. Maggiano, having the time to back into the boxes and grab the change… All together a few minutes must have passed before Riley walked into the store. I looked up at my mom; confusion covered my face as I shook my head no.

"Edward, put yourself in Riley's shoes. You tell him to go home, but he's stunned for a moment. Then he sees the robber just like you did; only this time he sees his brother in there with that man and his gun. What would you have done in Riley's place? Would you have gone home?"

Thinking of the situation in this light, I now understood why Riley didn't leave. He would have seen the robber like I did, and he would have known why I told him to go home so hatefully.

"I wouldn't have left him. I would have tried to help him," I answered as I hung my head in shame.

"And that's exactly what he did. He loved you, Edward, so much. He couldn't leave you."

The lump in my throat was too large to swallow. It was as if I was suffering through his loss all over again. Only this time the pain was different. I knew he loved me enough to risk his life for me. He knew I loved him too. He knew I didn't hate him, that I was only trying to protect him and keep him safe. But the end remained the same; he still died.

"Edward, please stop blaming yourself. We all miss him, but he'd want us to go on with our lives. He'd be so happy for you."

Tears were welling in my mom's eyes, and I pulled her into my arms. I rested my head on her shoulder and allowed her to run her fingers through my hair and along my shoulders. I wept bitterly for Riley's loss.

"I'm so sorry, Mom."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry I left you and Dad to grieve alone. You needed me, and I ran from you. That _was_ my fault."

"If you hadn't gone then, you might not be here now. You might not have met Bella nor had Serena. Edward, there are so many things that happen in life, and I believe they all happen for a reason. Yes, it hurt me very badly when you left, but you're home now. I know you're sorry; baby, I forgive you. The best thing you can do for me is to forgive yourself."

I pulled back from my mother's embrace. She gently wiped the remaining tears from my eyes. Through the gentle touch of her fingertips, I saw Bella standing on the other side of the room. A near catatonic look of worry was painted across her features.

I left my mom to reach out toward Bella. Her eyes were frozen, her body stiff. One frantic question hit me at that moment.

_Did they find the mole? _

_

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**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 22  
**

**Title: **Thanksgiving**  
**

**Story reference: **Edward recounts the image of Riley reading the Homer's Odyssey and being frustrated that Homer's men did not have the patience to wait for him.

**Historical Significance: **Homer and his men stayed with Aeolus, the master of the winds; he gave Odysseus a leather bag containing all the winds, except the west wind, a gift that should have ensured a safe return home. However, the sailors foolishly opened the bag while Odysseus slept, thinking that it contained gold. All of the winds flew out and the resulting storm drove the ships back the way they had come, just as Ithaca came into sight

**Source****:** http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Odyssey

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**A/N: **Should Edward forgive himself? Its hard to overcome the shadow of guilt.**  
**

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-First Blush


	23. Chapter 23 A Message

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

A/N_: Welcome new readers, and thank you to KatHat, Kalimando and anyone else out there who is recommending this story. I appreciate it._**_  
_**

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**A Message**

Bella's expression was flooded with terror. In an instant, I rushed toward her, pulling her into my arms. Her deep brown eyes looked up into mine for help, but she said nothing. I ran my hand over her hair and pulled her close to me. Her body melted into mine; I could feel the weight of her exhaustion release against me.

"Mom, I'm going to take Bella to bed; it's been a long day."

My mother could see the desperation in my eyes and nodded toward me. She was about to speak, but instead, she reached to grab my hand in hers. She seemed to need one more touch to remind herself that I was real. I grasped her hand and gave it a strong squeeze to reassure her.

"Sure, honey. We'll see you both off tomorrow."

I pulled my mother forward to hug her, and she wrapped her arms around both of us. She reached out to feather her fingertips lightly along Bella's cheek.

"Sleep well, sweet Bella."

Bella nodded once, thanking my mother for dinner with a small smile. Before she could argue with me, I grabbed her underneath her legs and carried her off to my bedroom.

The room was exactly as I had left it. Schoolbooks remained on the desk I'd shared with Riley for the last ten years. Photographs and baseball cards littered a corkboard; toy trucks and soldier figurines were still armed and poised for battle on my bookshelf. I carried Bella past all of the treasures of my past and gently laid her on my bed. She surpassed all of my history by accepting the one small treasure she now wore on the ring finger of her left hand.

I heard the clink of my dog tags beneath my shirt as I leaned over her. The sound reminded me that even though we had an entire ocean separating us from war, it could still find us here. Her eyes were glassy. The evidence of worry painted itself across her face. I couldn't wait any longer for her haze to lift on its own.

"What did they say, Bella?" I asked while shaking her shoulders lightly.

She shook her head and finally broke her stare to meet my eyes.

"They don't know." She swallowed hard. "Edward, they couldn't tell me if they had the mole." She sat up and implored me with her eyes to fix this for her. "It's been a week, how could they not know where my father is?"

Confusion clouded my racing thoughts. The rouse to get the mole out in the open happened the morning we had left for Gourock. They should have had the mole in custody by now and been able to relay an "all clear" to Bella when she called in for instructions.

"Bella, maybe they need more time to interrogate the mole. The information will obviously be classified. They probably just can't relay the details yet."

My excuse was flimsy at best, but it was also the only plausible answer I could offer her. Before she could ponder any further, I began throwing questions at her.

"What did they say? What exactly are our instructions? What is the threat level here in the U.S.? Can we leave for Indiana tomorrow?"

Bella jerked her head up at me. And in a short instant, she was back. Worry was still painted across the lines on her forehead, but a half smirk spread slowly moved across her lovely face.

"I know what you're doing, and your diversion tactics are still weak, Mr. Masen."

I half snorted at her before leaning down to press my lips against hers. The touch was so soft and gentle. Her lush lips teased and licked and suckled mine. Her fingers wove themselves into my hair and a quiet moan escaped her.

"Better," she breathed.

I didn't pull back but spoke quietly as I moved to the corner of her mouth, along her jaw and behind her ear. My breath tickled her skin, and her back arched off the bed in response.

"Better, as in you feel better, or better as in my diversion tactics are getting better?"

Bella's eyes bore into mine as she grasped behind my neck and pulled me back to her lips.

"Both," she exhaled.

As much as I was enjoying what my mouth could do to her, we both quickly realized the need to assess our situation. I gently grabbed each of her wrists and as she lowered them from my neck. I clasped her hands in front of me and placed kisses along her fingertips. Bella refocused her thoughts before moving to sit up.

"They said the threat level hadn't changed, but we were free to travel, inconspicuously of course. We need to call in daily for instructions. They had no information on the mole or my father."

"No information, or none they could share, Bella?"

"None they could share."

"Okay, baby, staying in New York won't help your dad; it only puts us one day further away from Serena. I think we should leave tomorrow as planned."

Bella nodded, still concerned but resigned. "You're right. I'm jumping to conclusions. When it comes to you or Charlie, patience isn't one of my strong points."

"I noticed that when you agreed to marry me." I smirked, remembering my flustered proposal and her crushing embrace as a response. "That's lucky for me, of course."

"Of course," she smugly agreed.

I helped Bella get undressed and placed her beneath the covers of my brother's twin bed. We kissed each other softly goodnight, and I crossed the room to my bed. I whipped back the bedspread and the remaining clothes covering my body dropped to the floor. I crawled beneath the bedclothes into the comfort of my childhood bed.

Moonlight streamed in through the solitary window between us. As I looked around at the strangely familiar, and yet unfamiliar room, my mind wandered to watercolor images of Bella cradling our daughter in her arms.

_Moonlight was streaming through the window of a nursery while Bella rocked a plump, pink infant against her chest. _

My trance was broken when I heard Bella sigh. I turned quickly to see her brown waves trailing haphazardly across her pillow.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

I sighed in defeat, feeling petulant over the admission I was about to make.

"You're too far away."

Bella laughed. The sound carried across the room to me like a wind chime.

"Then come get me," she teased.

I knew I should let her rest, but after a week of solitude, I couldn't stand to be away from her any longer. In haste, I threw back my covers and leapt out of bed to retrieve my wife. She shrieked a little too loudly as I threw off the barriers covering her soft skin and scooped her into my arms. I laid her gently on my way too tiny bed and frowned at the predicament before me.

"Get in here," she scolded before reaching up and yanking on my hand.

The action nearly toppled me, but I caught myself just before I collapsed on top of her. I lifted myself off her and sat at the edge of the bed. Bella wasn't about to be dissuaded. She pulled on my shoulders until I was prone beside her and wrapped her body around mine. Her thigh rested against my hip, her arms encased mine, and her head rested gently on my chest.

"Much better." She sighed.

I lifted my hand to her head and pulled my fingers through her hair in long gentle strokes.

"I could listen to your heartbeat all night," she mused.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," she answered assertively. "It reminds me that you're here and that you're safe. That sound gives me hope…and comfort…and peace."

"I think it's going to keep you awake," I snickered.

Bella lifted her head from my chest to read the expression on my face.

"It's got to be beating out of my chest, love," I replied to her confused look. I reached up to cup the back of her head with my hand. "You're wrapped so tightly around me…"

Bella raised an eyebrow at me. Her look went from confused to smug. "Looking to christen your childhood bed?"

I nodded, kissing her aggressively before reaching over to the nightstand between the beds. Under a stack of books I pulled out a rubber and mockingly pretended to blow the dust off the wrapper.

"So, I guess it's already been christened?" she teased, knowing full well she was the only woman I had ever loved with either my body or my heart. I didn't even justify that question with a response.

I flipped her over and growled softly into her ear.

"You, Mrs. Masen, have taught me everything I know."

Bella pressed her lips hungrily against mine. She devoured me with her soft tongue as my fingers found purchase beneath her thin nightgown. Her body arched into my hands, calling me like a magnet to meet her. Torsos and fingers and lips and skin all melded together joining us as one body, one lustful mind…one soul.

"That's why I'm the lead." She gasped. Her breath was getting away from her.

My mouth crashed down upon hers again, roughly. My fingers trailed down her body making a delicate dance against her skin. Wherever my fingers traced, my lips soon followed.

"Yes, but you'd follow _me _anywhere," I replied smugly while licking and teasing her soft skin as our bodies moved in time together.

A moan of pleasure escaped her mouth. I nipped her lower lip with my teeth to remind her to be quiet. That final mixture of pleasure and pain sent her stumbling over the edge into her release. Her body quivered against mine, coaxing me to join her.

When our bodies eventually relaxed, Bella pulled us both on our sides. Her chest still rose and fell in rapid tempo against mine. Once more she wrapped her arms round my torso and covered my waist with her thigh. Her head rested neatly against my chest while my fingers trailed in lazy circles over her skin.

At times, the feel of her frail body against mine still frightened me. I was always checking to make sure she was okay. I knew that Bella didn't see herself as frail, and although she was stronger, the image of her lying motionless after the injections of penicillin was never far from my mind.

Bella whispered softly into my ear, "Yes, Edward, I'd follow you anywhere, and I intend to do so for the rest of my life."

Bella's reverent words startled me from my light dreams. I contentedly kissed the top of her head, bidding her goodnight. Her words soaked through me and eased my tortured thoughts. I stroked her cheek with the back of my knuckles. With the sounds of her slumber as my guide, I focused on happier thoughts and all the years that lay ahead of us to make a life together.

oo!OO!oo

I kissed my mother's tearful cheek just before I carried Bella onto the train. We promised we'd call her tomorrow from Indianapolis and again when we found Serena. My father shook my hand, promising once more to safely deposit my winnings into a bank account for us.

The sleeper car was oddly similar to Bella's hospital room on the Queen Mary. There were two twin sized bunks, one over top of the other. A cargo-type netting covered the opening of the top bunk precluding the inhabitant from toppling out onto the floor. There was barely enough room for the single padded chair that was situated between the bottom bunk and the bathroom sink. After helping Bella to the bottom bunk, I reached over and pulled down the lightly embossed window shade. I also drew the primrose curtains and extinguished the round bulb lights leaving us in the muted dark.

The sound of the Erie Railroad's cars thumping across the tracks reminded me of a metronome. The rhythmic clicking along with the gentle sway of the cars was hypnotic. With only gentle prodding, I was able to convince Bella to close her eyes and sleep for at least a little while.

It wasn't long before her muscles relaxed and the gentle cadence of her breathing found a slow, steady rhythm. I curled around her body hoping to drift into a dreamless sleep myself. Despite the somnolence evoked by the railcar's sounds and motion, sleep remained elusive.

I lay awake staring at the grey outline of Bella's delicate face. She calmed me. Her skin, her breath, her scent all created a balm that eased the ocean of thoughts that were storming in my mind. I worried about the mole and why intelligence hadn't been able to give Bella an all clear last night. I worried about our friends who were still immersed in the horrors of war across the Atlantic. Mostly, I worried over the fear of not being able to find Serena and what that real possibility would ultimately do to my wife.

As if her body could read my thoughts, Bella sighed and rolled toward me. Her body curved into me while her legs stretched and tangled with mine. A serene look appeared in the shadow of her face as my fingers stroked her back and shoulders. The memory of similar motion danced before my eyes.

From that single thought my mind drifted as random images flitted across my mind's eye until it finally settled on the approaching interior of Colonel Swan's office.

_The windows surrounding the Colonel's office door were nearly dark, signaling that it was close to five in the evening. The sight reminded me belatedly that winter solace was only two weeks away. _

_Jumbled thoughts of this time and year afforded me only a small distraction. My head ached from the strain and worry while waiting for Colonel Swan to call me into his office. Glancing down at my wristwatch, I realized I had been waiting for nearly forty minutes for the Colonel's current phone call to finish. Time crept by slowly as I waited to be invited to join him in his office. _

_The word "invited" should be considered lightly. Both Bella and I avoided Colonel Swan after the revelation of our marriage had come to light a few days ago. I was summoned with due haste to the Colonel's office late in the afternoon. There was no indication of what he wanted to see me about, so I continued to wait with only my wild imagination to keep me company._

_Finally, a loud grunt sounded from the Colonel's office. Victoria's eyes left her paperwork to meet mine from the reception desk. She nodded once, indicating that the Colonel was ready to see me. With squared shoulders in place, I made my way determinedly into his office. _

_The Colonel stood, staring down over the courtyard of Grosvenor Square. No lights were shining to guide the way for the pedestrians below. Upon hearing my entrance, the Colonel quickly gathered his wits about him and pulled the blackout curtain. _

"_Edward," he called out to me in an all business tone._

_In the days after our admission, I had begrudgingly agreed with Bella on how to act around our fellow Ultra officers. That's to say our outward actions remained, much to my displeasure, unaltered. The only conciliatory change I negotiated was that the band of gold that had previously been nestled next to my St. Christopher's medal now appeared on the third finger of my left hand. _

_Despite efforts to keep the details of our relationship contained, there had been a slew of mottled comments about our impending new assignments. _

_The talk seemed to bother me much more than Bella. I could practically walk past each man with my handkerchief extended and catch the drool of anticipation dripping from their chins. The thought of another man being responsible for Bella's safety made me physically ill. Unfortunately, I didn't have much say in the matter either. _

_I suppose that my thoughts walking into the Colonel's office that evening were in anticipation of the announcement of my new lead. The words that he spoke were alarmingly different and stopped me cold._

"_Edward, yesterday I received transfer papers for you. You're needed at the front."_

_While my body was frozen in place, my mind continued to move as if I was in a full out sprint. All the images flashing across my consciousness surrounded Bella. How could I leave her? How could I trust someone else to look after her? Worst of all, how could I look into her eyes and_ tell_ her I was leaving her?_

_My eyes never strayed from Colonel Swan's face, despite my strong desire to crumple to the ground before him. The Colonel glanced down. I followed his line of sight to my wedding band. Instinctively, I rolled my thumb over the smooth yellow metal. After a momentary pause, Colonel Swan's eyes returned to my face. I saw a hardness form in those brown depths. The emotion there wasn't one I had seen from him before. It was as though he was picturing a particularly painful event and remorse blanketed his expression, if only for a moment._

"_I've been on the phone all day discussing the plan, Edward. We're on a course that cannot be changed."_

_His words sounded in my ears, but my mind had yet to truly wrap itself around the idea of leaving London and Bella._

"_You're being assigned to the 7__th__ Corps in Torquay. Their commander, Joseph Collins, is a hell of a leader, Edward." _

_The words fell from his mouth in a consolatory tone as if they could possibly make up for his action. I knew he was mad at Bella and me for marrying, but I never would have thought him to be a vengeful man. The realization speared me to the spot in which I stood. My back straightened, and my jaw flexed. Colonel Swan's posture stiffened, and the hairs on the back of my neck raised in response. _

_There was no point in arguing or discussing it further. His tone left no doubt; this was final. _

"_Does Bella know yet?"_

"_No," he replied. His voice was stiff and devoid of all emotion._

"_I'd like to be allowed to tell her myself, sir."_

_Colonel Swan didn't answer me out loud. His response came only after pausing to look down at his desk. A painful expression crossed his face once more before he returned his eyes to meet mine. He nodded once, infinitesimally._

_I saluted him and turned to leave quickly. My mind was now moving to plans and contingencies all involving my beloved wife. Before I could pass through his doorway, Colonel Swan called out to me once more._

"_Edward?"_

"_Yes, sir?"_

"_Edward, they believe this operation is our best chance."_

_He didn't have to explain it further. I already knew what he meant. This was our best chance to win the war. My answer was as automatic as the words that had been engrained in me over the last two years. _

"_I'll do my best, sir."_

"_For your God, your country and your fellow man, I know you will, Edward. God's speed, son."_

_The second stanza of the Soldier's creed sounded in my mind._

I will always place the mission first.  
I will never accept defeat.  
I will never quit.  
I will never leave a fallen comrade.

_As a soldier, I knew my duty to my country; as a husband, I had a duty to my wife. My vows to Bella echoed in my mind. Love, honor, obey, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. _

_Was it possible to keep both?_

oo!OO!oo

_The tires of the Packard cracked and popped against the driveway of the Rectory. Siobhan was waiting in the doorway and drying her hands in a dishtowel. The warm smile on her face grew wider as she saw me pull around the circular drive. Her arms opened to Seth and Bella as they stepped from the open door I held for them. Siobhan embraced them soundly, as any natural grandmother would. This wasn't part of the cover. It was quite obvious that she had come to care for each of us as if we were her own. Siobhan paused as she released Bella from her embrace. Her hands rested on Bella's shoulders as she looked her squarely in the eye. Her face morphed from joy to concern as she cupped Bella's cheek tenderly. Through squinted eyes, she asked Bella a question in Gaelic, and although I didn't understand the language, the intent was still clear. "What's wrong, young one?"_

_Bella put on a brave face and tilted her head to the side. The motion gave me the sense that she was resigned to things she couldn't control. She spoke softly to Siobhan; I could barely hear her spoken words._

"_Change is hard to accept; but we do what we can. I may not always be able to see the mountains through the mist, but I know they're there, standing tall until the sun shines brightly and I see them again."_

_I tugged at the itchy collar of my tweed overcoat. Siobhan's eyes met mine, and I had to turn away. I pretended to busy myself in pulling the bags from the car. Bella knew things were about to change. She mistakenly thought that we would have new partners and would likely be re-assigned to different drops. The words she spoke to Siobhan were meant to comfort her about not seeing us for a while. I felt like a cad for not telling Bella about my deployment, but I also knew it was a conversation we had to have alone. _

_I was startled by a hand being laid upon my shoulder. I turned so quickly that I cracked my head against the car's door frame. "OW! Damn it!" I rubbed my sore head just before turning a mortifying shade of pink. Siobhan was stifling her chuckle at my predicament. I didn't know if it was my calamity or my humiliation at being vulgar before a lady that made her laugh. Siobhan's expression was comical in itself. This commanding woman, who risked her life to aide her country, was giggling at me like a schoolgirl. The rolls of her stomach bounced heartily reminding me of the "bowl full of jelly" quoted by Clement C. Moore. I couldn't help but let loose my own guffaw in response._

"_Aw, Edward, it's good to see ye smile a bit. When I first saw ye, it looked like someone had crumpled your heart."_

"_Ripped it out and stomped on it, actually," I replied. _

_All traces of humor were gone from our faces as she stared down at me. One eyebrow quirked; her silent question was asking to spit it out and to do it quickly. _

"_Colonel Swan found out that we're married. Bella thinks we're being re-assigned to new partners, but I found out two days ago I'm being deployed to the front lines. I'm going to tell Bella-"_

"_Sweet Jesus, Edward, ye mean to tell me she doesna ken it yet?"_

_I shook my head. "I wanted to be the one to tell her, and there was no place private to do it."_

"_You've carried this for two days and not told her? She'll brain ye for that!"_

"_I know." I shrugged. "I'll take her anger, but I don't know if I can bear to see her pain." _

"_Aye." She nodded. A rough hand collapsed on my shoulder shaking me a bit. "It'il hurt like the devil, but once you've gone ye need to keep your mind on the fightin' and keep your head outa your arse. She needs ye to come home. Make her a promise to come home to her. She'll believe ye and hold onto that promise, aye?"_

_I nodded, unable to speak. "And I'll make ye a promise in return, love. I promise I'll keep an eye on her for ye."_

"_How can you do that from here? She may not even be assigned to this drop any longer."_

_Siobhan patted me on the back. "No worry yourself, love. I have my ways." She dropped a shit-eating grin on me, and I couldn't help but believe her. After all, she had made us a wedding in the middle of a war. If anyone could keep this promise to me, it was Siobhan Callaghan._

oo!OO!oo

_An hour later I found myself driving through pounding rain traveling over the winding, muddy roads to Warwickshire. I kept peeking up at Bella through the rearview mirror, gauging her expression as she stared out into the countryside. I'd had two days to prepare for this but still struggled with how to get the words out. _

_For the moment, I was grateful to have the excuse of a road trip. Maggie had rang Siobhan not long after we had arrived with a frantic request for help. Somehow one of Maggie's young sows had gotten itself trapped in the root cellar, and they needed a strong back to lift it out. Maggie asked if Bella would be willing to help her sort through the mess hoping that the majority of their food stocks could be saved. I had a suspicious feeling that there would be little need of repair once we arrived, crediting the emergency to Siobhan's subversive talents. I shook my head at her subterfuge, feeling a tad bit better about leaving Bella to Siobhan's care._

"_Are you going to tell me?" Bella asked._

_My eyes snapped up to meet hers in the mirror. Her words brought me to the present and made me realize the there was no more room for delay. We were about to have this discussion now._

"_You've been listless for days, Edward. You can't even look me in the eye right now." She paused to collect herself but remained in the backseat. Perhaps she had a premonition that this discussion would be easier if it wasn't exactly face to face. _

"_Have…" She stopped again, and I looked up to see the anguish unfurl itself across her face. Her eyes closed, and she steeled herself. "Edward, have you been stepping out on me?"_

_I was literally struck dumb._

"_Cheating? You're asking if I've been cheating on you? Are YOU insane!" I roared._

"_What else could it be? You won't talk to me; you won't look at me, and you haven't so much as laid one finger on me in days…"_

_The absurdity of her words exploded inside of me. It was ludicrous! Plainly it seemed she had gone mad. How could she even begin to think this of me? The windshield wipers flipped in the downpour but did little to improve my vision. I swerved over to the side of the road, jumping out and slamming the car door behind me. An instant later I yanked Bella from the back seat. My fingers wrapped tightly around her arm as I shoved her hard against the quarter panel. _

"_What does this mean to you?" I shouted as I held up my wedding band in front of her eyes. "I don't know what it means to you right now, but it sure as hell means forever to me!"_

_The rain was pouring down in buckets around us. I trapped Bella's eyes in my glare. My chest was heaving. The ache of leaving her was barely surpassed by my anger at that moment._

"_It meant forever to me too," Bella murmured as she lowered her eyes and traced the ground beneath her._

"_Meant? What do you mean, meant?" I shoved her back against the car again; it was enough to rattle her teeth and hopefully knock some sense into her._

"_I mean, I love you," she cried. "If that's not what you want anymore, then I'll be strong enough to let you go, and I'll pray that you come back to me."_

_I ran my fingers through my hair and blinked in shock. She looked so defeated and confused. She thought I didn't want her anymore. The absurdity of the idea made me sick. Yet, even with this ridiculous misapprehension, she unwittingly told me everything I needed to hear. _

_I'll be strong. I'll pray for you. I'll wait for you._

_Bella looked up at me with anxious eyes. In that moment, my worst fears hit me. How could I do this without her? What if I lost her? It all came together, becoming too much as I met her deep brown eyes. I grabbed her behind the neck and around her waist and crushed her lips against mine. Every emotion in me poured out as our lips met again and again. My arms held her tight as we devoured each other. Bella's fingers climbed my body and mercilessly pulled my hair. We fought to get closer. Her breath was my breath. Her skin was my skin. Her very soul was my soul._

"_Bella," I rasped. "I will never want anyone else…_ever_. I need you to believe me. I won't have the strength to survive when I leave unless I know you feel the same way."_

"_Leave for where?" she gasped, pulling back to meet my eyes. "What are you saying? Where are you going?"_

_My chest heaved as I searched her eyes for the strength I needed to find the words. _

"_Bella, I'm being re-deployed."_

"_What- Where? I'll go with you."_

"_You can't, baby…" I hesitated for a moment before continuing. "They're sending me to the front." _

_It didn't take Bella a second to reply. Her response was instantaneous._

"_The _hell_ I can't," she argued. Her back was up now. "I'm going with you."_

"_No, you're _not_."_

_Bella stared me straight in the eye and screamed defiantly, _"Yes, I am!"

_I stormed around in the freezing downpour for a second before marching back up to her face. We were nose to nose, but Bella wasn't backing down. She glared at me as her chest heaved in anger. We were close enough to feel the warm breaths escaping from each other's mouths. _

"_God Damn it! You stubborn, insolent woman. You can't come. Your place is here."_

_Bella reached back and slapped me. The sting reverberated through my jaw and made my eyes water. _

"_Do you still not believe in me, Edward?" she screamed, shoving her hands against me hard. "Do you not think I can take care of myself?"_

"_No-" I shouted. _

_Misinterpreting me, Bella reached back to strike me again. I caught her wrist at the height of her arc._

"Stop it!"_ I shouted at her. "Listen to me. I do believe in you, and you have to take care of yourself, because I won't be here to do it for you." The final words caught in my throat. For the first time, I truly recognized Bella would be on her own. I crumpled at the thought. My head collapsed onto her shoulder. "You have to stay. Working in London with Ultra is how you'll help end this."_

"_Edward-"_

_I pulled back to look in her eyes. "No, Bella, you know I'm right. I don't want to leave you any more than you want me to go. It's _killing_ me. It's been killing me since Colonel Swan told me."_

_Bella's eyes were fierce with determination as she spoke. "He'll fix this. I swear to God, I'll make him fix this." _

"_Bella, Colonel Swan can't. This is the surge. We knew it was coming; the time is now."_

_Bella swallowed hard, then stuck out her chin like a petulant child. Either unwilling or unable to accept what I was saying. She started to storm away from me, but it was raining so hard I easily caught her by the wrist and yanked her back. She stumbled and fell forward as I reached for her shoulders. Her training kicked in, and I saw her body react. She was ready to defend herself and escape. I shook my head never expecting the impact of her training to be unleashed against me._

"_Stop it!" I roared. Bella's eyes snapped up to meet mine. "Stop this; I'm not going to fight with you anymore. I only have a few days left, and I refuse to spend it like this. I need you," I shouted. "Do you hear me?" This time I swallowed hard. "I need you." _

_My voice became small and pleading. Bella couldn't meet my eyes any longer. She likely thought that doing so would be to admit defeat. Once she did that, she would have to admit that I was going to leave._

"_No. NO!" she screamed, stepping back from me with her hands up in defense. "This isn't the way it's going to end for us. I can't…I won't lose you."_

_I wouldn't be deterred. I stepped forward and wrapped her in my arms. My lips were close to her ear so that she could hear me above the freezing rain pounding down around us._

"_I need you." _

_Bella continued to struggle against me. Her fists were pounding against my chest. I ignored her and held her tighter._

"_I need you." A strangled cry escaped me. "I need you."_

_I pulled Bella's head back until her eyes met mine. I looked deep down into her very soul and saw the strength of the woman before me. She would survive for me. Once more, I pleaded for her forgiveness the only way I could._

"_I need you."_

_With those last words, Bella broke before me. She knew what I was saying. I needed her to be strong. I needed her to survive. I needed her to love me. I needed her to forgive me for leaving her._

_A painful moan left her throat as she reached up and pulled me to her. Her lips met mine, sealing our vows to each other. Promises of a happy life danced across my mind along with vows of love and commitment and fidelity. I would always be hers, forever._

_Bella's mouth moved from mine to nip and kiss her way along my jaw to my ear. Her breath warm against the cold. Her lips inches from my ear…_

"_Don't leave me."_

_I broke with her words, scooping her up and opening the back door of the car. I climbed inside, laying Bella flat against the back seat. The rain pounded against the windows as I leaned over her. Our bodies dripping and shivering as I planted kiss after kiss against her skin. _

"_Don't leave me," she said again._

_I peeled off her wet clothes planting kisses over the wet skin. Her body was covered in gooseflesh. Seeing her bare before me sent my mind into a lustful tumble. She was mine, and neither time, nor place, nor hell itself would keep me from her. My body covered hers as she wrapped her legs around me. Every muscle in her body tensed, pulling me, holding me to her, unwilling to let me go. It wasn't going to be like this; I wasn't going to let her love me in fear. Slowly, I worked over every inch of her body. My lips were my thoughts; my hands were my words, promising her she would always be with me, and I would always love her. The tangled tension of her body unwound from fear and into lust. I claimed her as mine as she claimed me, body and soul. I screamed her name, only her body could make me feel like this. _

"_Bella!"_

_Hours later, we were up in our room at the vicarage. I smiled, if only for an instant, thinking of our friend Siobhan's deviant meddling. _

_We found a note nailed to one of the doors of the carriage house where it was unlikely to be discovered by anyone else. Apparently, Maggie's sow had miraculously made its own way out of the root cellar and little damage had been done to the food stock. "It was either eaten, or it wasn't," Maggie's written thoughts quipped. She apologized profusely for dragging us out there and wasting perfectly good petrol rations. Siobhan had been informed that it would be too dark for us to return this evening and that we were welcome to use "our room" upstairs. She regretted that she and Alastair weren't there to tell us this directly. Apparently Alistair had neglected to inform her that they had dinner plans with neighbors one farm away for the evening. Bella's crooked smile led me to believe that she was also anticipating Siobhan's wonderful meddling in our evening plans. _

_My beautiful wife lay sleeping beside me. I propped myself on one elbow and lifted a lock of hair from her face. Bella's eyes flitted open at my touch. A small smile traced her lips, and for just a moment, she forgot what lay ahead. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to the skin resting over her heart. _

"_Right here," I_ _vowed. "Right here is where you'll find me." I looked up from her skin to find her brown eyes boring into mine. "I'm always with you, baby. I'll never leave you."_

_Her eyes slowly closed, and she swallowed painfully. Her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders locking me in her heart. "Edward," she paused unable to finish her thought. I listened to the sound of her heart beating in her chest. It was the most significant sound in my world._

"_Edward, promise you'll come back to me. I know it's unfair. I know it's a promise I can't force you to keep, but I need to hear it. So promise me."_

"_I promise, love," I whispered against her heart. "I promise; I'll come back to you."_

The screech of the train's breaks awoke me from my daydream. I lifted a lock of hair from Bella's face and then pressed my lips to her chest right over her heart. It was reminiscent of my same action, so many months ago. Now, instead of being filled with fear and longing, I was finally able to feel…hopeful. Bella scrunched her nose and blinked her eyes in search of consciousness. Eventually, a smile crossed her face as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"We're coming up to a stop just outside of Columbus. Do you want to stretch your legs for a bit?"

Bella nodded, and I rolled stiffly off the bed trying to find my footing. I helped her into her warm coat and then locked the door to our railcar. It was sunny but cold outside. We walked slowly for a few minutes, allowing the brisk air to wake us and stretch our stiff joints.

"Bella?" I asked as we reached the end of the ramp where we found ourselves alone. "Did you ever hear from Siobhan after I left for the front?"

A dazzling smile took over her expression, and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Yes," Bella laughed as she lifted her hand to run her fingers along the edge of her hairline. "…only indirectly."

I shook my head a bit, not really understanding what she meant. Bella smiled and cupped her gloved hand against my cheek.

"What was our favorite thing to eat when we visited the Rectory?"

I nodded at her, smiling at the memory of Siobhan's bread making talents. It drew me to the breakfast table like a moth to a flame.

"Blueberry bread," I replied with glazed eyes and a drooling mouth.

Bella hummed in agreement.

"The team who took over the delivery at Milton Keynes never failed to return to London without some of Siobhan's blueberry bread. The bread was always wrapped in one of her linen kerchiefs. I offered to wash it before the team returned it to her the following month. When I pressed the kerchief, I placed my wedding band on the ironing board allowing the hot iron to leave an impression of my ring in one of the corners. Then I folded it so no one would see it unless they unfolded the cloth themselves. The signal let Siobhan know I was okay. That at least I was…holding myself together."

Bella paused to touch her ring beneath her glove.

"What about when you were in the air raid? She must have been frantic when she didn't receive your cipher."

"I imagine she was, but she found me, eventually."

Bella smiled and wove her hand over my arm. I pressed her tightly to me, allowing her mischievous grin to permeate a little while longer. She was goading me, giving me a chance to figure it out on my own. I shook my head, dazzled by her glowing face and quickly gave up the ghost.

"Did she call Colonel Swan? I mean, did she call your father?"

Bella frowned at my disappointing guess.

"Of course not, that would have put both Charlie and the mission at risk."

"Did the other operatives tell her?"

"I doubt it; they wouldn't know that Charlie had moved me unless he told them. He had no reason to do that. He wanted to ensure my safety even if he couldn't be there with me."

I nodded, understanding a few more things about my father-in-law than I did a few months ago.

"Okay, I give up. How _did_ she find you?"

"She didn't; Liam did."

"Liam?"

"Yes, Liam. Apparently when Siobhan didn't receive my signal in July, she and Liam started to use their network to track me down. I guess every former operative surrounding London was looking for some sign of me."

"So an operative knew you were at the 8th?"

This concerned me. I wondered if this was how the mole became aware of Bella's location.

"Not exactly, apparently Siobhan and Liam were very cautious about contacting trusted friends in case there were any subversives in the network. Liam had a very close friend from his university days named Eleazar Grant. Eleazar happens to be the great uncle of a fantastic physician we both know and love."

"Carlisle?"

"Yes," she smiled brightly.

"But he's an American from Boston."

"Yes, he is, but his father died when he was fairly young and his mother followed some other family members when they left for the States years ago. Carlisle was raised outside of Boston but has family, an elderly uncle specifically, in London. Eleazar approached his nephew about me, but Carlisle's no fool. One day when I was fairly lucid, he asked me if I knew a Siobhan or Liam Callaghan. He wanted to be sure of their interests in me before ever giving anything away to his uncle."

I smiled thinking again of my friend and being so grateful for his care of Bella. I stopped and hugged her closer to me.

"I was terrified of leaving you. I hated every minute of it, but I'm glad you had good people looking out for you when I couldn't."

Bella pressed her hand against her chest and the St. Christopher's medal that rested there beneath her clothes.

"You were always with me. Your promise never let me forget it."

I hugged her tighter, pressing my lips into her hair.

"God, I love you; don't _ever_ forget it."

I felt Bella's body relax into my embrace. Looking up from her, I examined the towering arches of Columbus' Union Station. A bustle of activity surrounded us as passersby weaved past us. We had already been outside for about ten minutes when I noticed Bella began shivering. Together we made our way back to our railcar.

Once inside, we stopped just short of the door to our car. A small piece of paper was just peeking out from under the doorway. Before I could stoop to pick it up, a large hand clasped my shoulder. The action sent the owner's jacket swinging forward, and I felt the brush of a heavy metal object against my side. I stiffened, and Bella turned. Her eyes grew wide as she looked past me and into the face of our visitor.

A low rumble came from his chest as he motioned me forward. Only two words escaped him.

"Step inside."

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter **23 A Message**  
**

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella board a train to take them from NYC to Decatur Indiana

**Historical Significance: **The Erie Rail company was one of the few that traveled from NYC to Chicago

**Source: **http:/www(dot)r2parks(dot)net/erierr(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes the interior of their sleeper car as Bella drifts off to sleep.

**Historical Significance: **Sleeper car was most common in the late 1800's.

**Source:**http:/explorepahistory(dot)com/displayimage(dot)php?imgId=1595

http:/www(dot)google(dot)com/imgres?imgurl=http:/farm4(dot)static(dot)flickr(dot)com/3266/2599275363_e51048508b(dot)jpg&imgrefurl=http:/franklinavenue(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2008_06_01_archive(dot)html&usg=_cdeJd5O7g-eP60Gs_wuMiH6ipQs=&h=500&w=375&sz=112&hl=en&start=48&itbs=1&tbnid=eQapSXF0iIMouM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=98&prev=/images%3Fq%3D1940%2527s%2Brailroad%2Bsleepercar%26start%3D36%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26tbs%3Disch:1

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward recounts part of the US Army Soldier's creed when he learns of his transfer to the front lines.

**Historical Significance:**The Army creed quoted here was actually established post WWII.

**Source: **http:/train(dot)missouri(dot)org/~emgeer/army-creed(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference:**Edward recalls Colonel Swan pulling a blackout curtain just before being told he was going to be sent to the front.

**Historical Significance:**Every window had 'blackout curtains', which were drawn at night. 'Blackout curtains' stopped light from rooms showing from outside. There were no street lights either. The idea was to stop lights from towns guiding enemy planes to drop bombs.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)bbc(dot)co(dot)uk/schools/primaryhistory/world_war2/wartime_homes/

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella explore the Union Station in Columbus OH in route to Indiana

**Historical Significance: **The Union Station served its last passengers in 1979 before being demolished. The arch to the building stands as a monument outside of the Columbus Blue Jacket's Downtown Arena center.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)hellocolumbus(dot)com/Photos_Buildings(dot)Cfm

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter was once of my favorites. I hope you enjoyed it too. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-First Blush


	24. Chapter 24 Selfless

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

* * *

**Selfless**

"Do you have any idea how difficult you two are to find?" the voice called.

I unlocked the door as the man stepped forward to pick up the paper. It appeared to be a sealed envelope. My mind raced as my body outpaced our visitor. Bella stepped awkwardly to the side as the man stooped lower to pick up the envelope. As the door slid open, I reached down, and grabbed the man by his the back of his neck, tossing him forward. He grabbed for me, effectively tossing both of us into the cabin. He hit the ground hard and knocked his head against the solitary wooden chair. I scrambled to subdue him as quickly as possible by kneeling on top of his throat and cutting off his air supply. The man's eyes bulged in his head.

"Who are you?" I roared.

Bella had the sense to step inside and pull the door closed behind her before any passengers could see the commotion.

"I- I'm-Felix. Agent Robert Felix!" he sputtered. "ID is in the left breast pocket," he choked.

I was confident that I had the man subdued for the moment, but I wasn't taking any chances.

"Bella?" I called.

Her answer was the resounding click of her service arm.

"Covered," she answered.

"Any sudden moves and she'll end your career, Agent Felix," I said stoically as my wife aimed dead at his temple. A shot there wouldn't be pretty, effective, but not pretty.

Felix spread his fingers before me in supplication. His left hand moved slightly to point toward the left side of his jacket. I slid my hand into his pocket while continuing pressure on his windpipe. Slowly my fingers curled around an object and produced a black leather billfold.

"On your stomach, with your hands behind your head," I ordered.

The man continued to sputter and choke but when I lifted my knee from his breastbone, he managed to comply with my command. I grabbed the belt from my trousers and fastened it around his wrists as they lay clasped against his head. It wouldn't hold him for long if he tried to escape, but it would give me enough warning time to aim my service arm at one of his kneecaps.

"This is a fine way to treat one of your own, Masen."

"I'll apologize later," I spat while digging in his billfold for his credentials.

To be honest, there wasn't much I could do aside from looking at his OSS badge. I glanced at it quickly before handing it over to Bella. She'd have a much better idea of its authenticity than I would with her prior OSS training. Bella looked over the front and back of the ID card. Felix's image was surrounded by a blue border and the four seals of the United States military forces. If it had been printed in green it would have looked similar to etchings found on U.S. currency.

I looked up at Bella while kneeling against Agent Felix's secured wrists. She nodded, indicating the ID was legitimate.

"Okay, Agent Felix," I said without moving an inch from my position. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to give you clearance for your trip."

"Bullshit," I spat. "We could get that without a visit from _you_."

He groaned. "Officials wanted to make sure you received the message in person. Now, are you going to get the hell off me? My arms are about to dislocate from my shoulders."

"Training must be going slack in the OSS home offices these days," I mocked

"Might be, you prick, I wouldn't know. I just got back from Istanbul."

Bella touched my shoulder and nodded. I wasn't sure what she knew about OSS operatives there, but apparently it was enough to encourage me to release our visitor. I grabbed my service arm and rolled off of the Agent.

"Talk. You've got,.." I paused to look down at my watch "…seven minutes before the train pulls out of here."

"They got the mole."

Bella's eyes widened.

"And Colonel Swan?"

"Secure."

"Whitlock?" I asked.

"Same."

Bella exhaled audibly.

"Who?" she asked.

"Classified."

I rubbed the palms of my hands over my eye sockets in frustration.

"Why are you here? Why would they send you to find us just to relay this information and nothing else?"

"A warning. We're still flushing out all of the information from the mole's interrogation, but there are doubles both here and abroad. You need to continue to be on alert at least until we have finished our investigations."

Felix reached around the floor padding for something. I cocked my service arm in response.

"Don't shoot, you trigger happy little shit. I have something for you."

I wasn't about to give him an inch. This was my wife; I'd protect her above all else.

"This is my proof," he spat at me. "They didn't want to leave any doubts as to who sent me."

He held up the white envelope that was lying outside our door moments ago. I didn't recognize the handwriting but I certainly knew the address and the return postmark.

Miss Alice Brandon

103 Little Park Road

Easton, MD USA 21601

PFC Jasper Whitlock 363-64-187

7th ARCOM

UK Base,APO, London W1K 6

I handed the envelope to Bella, not wanting to acknowledge it in front of Agent Felix.

"Message received," I replied.

Bella's poker face was firmly in place. I noticed only a slight flicker in her eyes. Begrudgingly, I released Agent Felix and walked him back through our cabin door.

"Thank you," I said with a shoulder shrug. It was the only thing I could really offer.

Agent Felix passed through the doorway while rubbing one of his shoulders. He turned with a nod in response to my thanks and intended apology. He departed from view with only two words, just as he had with his entrance. Just two words, yet they were filled with profound meaning and warning.

"Stay safe," he said, and with that, he was gone.

I closed the door to our railcar and locked it from the inside. My head shook a bit as I tried to dislodge the unnerving feeling our visitor caused. Slowly, I turned back to Bella. I tensed at the sight of my wife. She stood next to the bunk with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her expression was a blank, vacant stare into nothingness. Her body shook with tremors. I crossed the small room to her as quickly as my limbs could take me.

My fingers wrapped around her arms, and I chafed against her shirt trying to warm her.

"Bella?" I called. "Sweetheart? Bella?"

I lowered my head so that I could stare into her eyes. She didn't seem to see me, and she didn't respond. A single tear rolled down her cheek. This scared the hell out of me. Bella was the strongest woman I'd ever known. She was brave, fearless, aggressive, and determined. This was a side of her I'd only seen once before. I remembered the same blank expression from our drive to Warwickshire the day I told her I was being re-deployed.

"I didn't think…" Bella spoke. Her voice trailed off to a whisper.

"What, sweetheart? What didn't you think?" I plead, knowing that I should be fearful of her reply.

Bella's eyes finally met mine with the most heartbreaking expression I'd ever seen before. It looked as if all of her hopes had been extinguished like a snuffed out candle. The flicker of life had left her eyes.

"I didn't think about it following us home." Her voice was flat and monotone.

"What?" I asked, shaking her shoulders a little to bring some life back into her.

Bella looked up at me and swallowed hard. "I didn't think about the missions, the secrecy, the operatives, the _danger_." She shook her head again. "I didn't think about any of it following us home. I just thought about finding Serena."

My voice was imploring. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe. I never would have let him touch you. You weren't in any danger. It's all right. We're okay." I nodded.

I was still confused; I wouldn't have expected Bella to have battle fatigue. Then again, I didn't know what things she had seen while I was at the front. My hands rubbed over my eye sockets. I wanted to kick myself for my own stupidity. Of course she could be experiencing shell shock. The air raid and its aftermath would have been enough to cause anyone horrendous nightmares and flashbacks.

"We're not okay, Edward. It will never be okay for us. This…" she waved her arm around the room to our weapons, to Jasper's note, and finally resting on the insignia of my army uniform "…it will always be with us."

I tried to formulate my response when Bella's soft voice spoke once more.

"It will never be safe for her."

My eyes grew wide when I realized what Bella was alluding to. It was why the light had left her eyes. She had given up.

"It WILL!"I roared at her, shaking her arms to get her to look up at me. "It will, damn it. Don't you dare give up on finding her. It's wrong. It's selfish. Our little girl deserves to know us. She deserves to be with _us_!"

"No, Edward. It's not selfish. It's being a parent. It's being selfless and doing what's best for her."

Bella's tears trailed down her face as she clutched the fabric of my shirt.

"Edward, how can we bring her into this life? Think about it," she pleaded. "What would you have done if I had walked through that door holding Serena in my arms? How would you have protected both of us? He could have grabbed her and used her to get to us. He could hurt her. And I know what you're going to say. Yes, Agent Felix is one of ours, but you heard his warning. There are others out there who wouldn't hesitate to hurt an innocent if it got them the information they needed. We can't do this to her. We can't take away her chance at a normal life."

"NO!" I yelled, storming around the room. The anger within me was begging for me to throw something through the car's window.

I didn't want to think about it. Serena in the abstract was a beautiful little baby that I couldn't wait to hold in my arms. Our child, in reality, was something very precious to love and protect with every ounce of my being. Could Bella be right? Did she need us to walk away before we ever got to know her? Before our life in London could find her and hurt her? I shook my head, realizing the weight of parenthood now resting on my shoulders. My eyes lifted to Bella already knowing I couldn't do it. I couldn't be that selfless.

"No, Bella. Giving up on her isn't right. It isn't selfless. It's weak. We're stronger than that." I leaned over her, my height advantage towering over her. My eyes burned with fury at her, trying to intimidate her into changing her mind. "_You_ are stronger than that."

"For myself, I'm strong. For Serena, I'm her mother. What I am only matters if she's safe. We're not safe, Edward. Not now."

"You want me to walk away from her? How can you ask me to do this? I _can't_. I _won't_."

"Edward, I don't _want_ this either, but what I want doesn't matter."

"What about my parents, or even your friend, Alice?"

I knew I was grasping at straws trying to get her to see reason. Having Serena with family would be a million times better than never knowing her at all.

Bella shook her head. "No. If they can track you, they can find your parents." I shuddered at the thought. "And Alice," she paused. "Alice wants to get married and have a family of her own someday. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to do this. I can't take away her freedom by saddling her with raising a child that isn't even hers."

My mind reeled with the thoughts running through her head. I needed a way to get through to her. Reasoning wasn't working; intimidation wasn't working. Hell, my own pleading wasn't working. The only think she cared about was Serena's safety.

_God, how can she be this selfless?_

_ She only cares about Serena's safety._

_ Serena's safety…_

A flicker of a hope ran through me as I chose my words.

"Bella, we don't even know who has her right now. How can we even think about walking away without knowing she's safe?"

Bella's brow furrowed, and I continued in hopes of finally reaching her.

"We don't know where she is, or who she's with. We don't know if they're taking care of her or if she's an orphan. Turning away without being one hundred percent confident in her care is wrong, period."

Bella swallowed and covered her face in her hands. Her shoulders slumped forward. Defeat and anguish covered her tired eyes. She wouldn't look up at me, but she nodded in response.

"You're right, but, Edward, if we find her, if I hold her, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to let her go."

I sucked in a deep breath, finally relieved that something I said had gotten through to her. I wrapped my arms tightly around her shoulders and pulled her close to me. I could feel Bella breaking down as her body shook in my arms. Her tears littered my shirt. I pulled my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back in slow circles. When I felt she had calmed enough to listen to me, I lifted her chin and cradled her face gently in my hands.

"I love you, and I need you to trust me here. We _are_ going to Indiana. We are going to find her. We will see her, where she lives, who takes care of her. We will know every aspect of her life now, and we'll find out everything that has happened to her since she left for the U.S." My words stalled, and I felt a painful stab of pain hit my chest. I swallowed hard. "Then, together we will decide what's best for her. I'm not telling you I'm willing to leave her there, Bella. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Bella nodded before wiping away her remaining tears. Her expression of steely confidence was only a mask. I could see the widening cracks beneath her armor. I closed my eyes and prayed for my own strength.

_Please, Lord, I love my wife and my daughter, but I don't know what to do. Please help me find the right path for _all_ of us._

oo!OO!oo

We reached our small bed and breakfast by mid afternoon. The train ran us into Indianapolis and from there we took a cab down into Columbus, a small, fifteen stoplight town about a half hour east of Bloomington. Along the way we learned that Columbus survived on the industry and manufacturing jobs supplied by the town's cornerstone, Cummins Engine. Our cab driver was not the least bit shy in sharing the town's pride in supporting engines for the war effort. He continued to regal us with stories of the town, even boasting of being home to the oldest operating theater in the state, the Crump. He was quite proud of his hometown and pointed out the storefronts along Washington Street, mentioning how the local high school art students had painted the holiday scenes. He accepted my tip graciously at the end of the drive but not before mentioning a small diner down the street called the Pine Knot Grill. Since he had mentioned this establishment more than once during the trip, I imagined he was either earning a commission from his recommendations or he had a family connection to the owners. Given the size of the town, I felt pretty confident that it was the latter.

"I need a pen," Bella stated looking over her shoulder at me.

I fumbled around padding my pockets before finally opening the desk drawer in our room. My fingers danced along the encased items until I found what I was looking for and handed it over to Bella. She took it and leaned over the desk. Her hair cascaded forward hiding her face from my view. I heard the scratch of the pen against paper, and a moment later, Bella pulled back. A small smirk appeared on her face. She nodded once at the item in her hand before turning and revealing her scrawl to me.

See you soon. – B.

The item in her hands was Jasper's letter. Bella added her short sentence to the back of the envelope.

"We'll drop this in the mailbox on the way to the diner."

Bella and I bundled ourselves warmly for the two block walk over to the diner. For once, I got my way when I put my foot down about her not walking the distance. Even she realized that she wasn't ready for that long of a walk and conceded after a minute or two of arguing. _That was a first_, I thought with grim relief.

Bella clutched Jasper's letter tightly as we made our way through the blustery weather. My mind drifted momentarily as she pulled down the hatch on the mailbox. We'd had a few moments of levity in the last day, but none of them were truly carefree. Every smile was a bit forced; every laugh was a bit overdone. We were keeping our conversations light in order to avoid the nagging subject of returning east without Serena.

I still couldn't quite grasp the possibility. Part of me could see Bella's logic, but then what did logic have to do with my heart? I tried to imagine our life without our daughter being part of it. Could we have other children knowing we had abandoned our firstborn? _No._ I couldn't see Bella cradling another newborn and giving him or her all of her heart when part of it would always be broken with longing for Serena. I answered my own silent question. I couldn't see us growing our family without her.

_It would be wrong, so very wrong. _

"Well that's that," Bella said with a small smile as the mailbox lever creaked closed.

I nodded and turned her wheelchair down the street toward the Pine Knot. We weren't trying to conceal our presence, but we decided in advance to stretch the truth a bit in our cover story. I straightened my shoulders and steeled myself for our performance as we made our way through the diner's entrance. A pretty, blonde haired girl in her early twenties greeted us and showed us to an empty table for dinner. She pulled a pencil from behind her ear and looked at us expectantly.

"I'm Claire. Are you folks looking for the dinner special or are you just in for some chicken feed?"

_Chicken feed?_

The woman must have read the confused expression on my face and clarified. "I'm sorry; you're not from around here. Chicken feed is what the locals call the town gossip." Claire winked with a bit of a chuckle.

I glanced up at Bella assessing her cool demeanor as she smiled sweetly at Claire.

_Paydirt._

I folded my menu and returned my eyes to Claire. "I think we'll start with supper, before moving onto chicken feed. What would you recommend?'

Claire eyed my uniform before responding.

"Well, the house special is two hamburgers for twenty-five cents. It seems to please most of the customers around here. This is my Uncle Paul's place. He was a cook in the Navy," Claire offered.

I looked back toward Bella. "Sound good, love?"

"Definitely."

"Two burgers it is then," I replied handing the menus back to her.

A few minutes later, Claire returned with our plates.

"Here you go, two house burgers."

"Thank you, Claire. I'm sure they'll be great. Your establishment came highly recommended by our cab driver."

Claire blushed. "You must have met Quil, then. He's my steady."

After finishing our meal, I excused myself as planned to find the men's room. I timed my trip to run into Claire at the back end of the diner and just out of view from where Bella sat.

"Excuse me, Claire?" I asked.

"Hmm? What can I get for you?" she asked, pulling the pencil from behind her ear once more.

"Actually the burger was great; I was hoping you could help with some of that chicken feed."

Claire laughed and replaced her pencil. "Sure, what do you need?"

"It isn't for me; it's for my wife. I'm sure you noticed her wheelchair?"

Claire nodded.

"We're on our way down to Lexington to see a specialist about her legs. We've been on the road for two days now and I'd feel better if she saw a doctor here locally before we continue on down the road. She gets tired easily, and I don't want to risk her health any further."

Claire smiled sympathetically.

"Well Doc Varner is the closest. His office is over on Washington Street across from the Coca Cola bottler. I'm sure Quil can take you there."

"That's very kind of you. What's he like? I mean, my wife is quite skittish of doctors, which is understandable of course. She kind of needs someone with a comforting demeanor."

"Oh, that's Doc Varner all right. He's one of the kindest souls I ever met. He even saved a poor child from being orphaned over in Europe and brought her back with him to live here. He's a great man."

It took everything I had to keep my emotions from showing on my face or running over to swoop up Bella and fly out the front door.

"That is certainly…_something_. Would you mind talking a bit to my wife about him? Perhaps your encouragement will ease her discomfort about seeing someone."

"Gosh, I'd be happy to help."

Claire waited for a few moments after my return to the table to approach us with the meal slip.

"Anything else I can do for you folks?"

"Um…yes, there is one thing Claire. Is there a local doctor you could recommend who could take a look at my wife? We'll be leaving in the morning for Lexington, but I'd feel much better if a doctor checked her out before we continue on our journey. We've been on the road for some time now."

True to her part in our rouse, Bella visibly stiffened at the mention of seeing a physician.

"Oh yes," Claire answered playing along perfectly. "You'll want to see Doc Varner. His office is on Washington Street. He's one of the sweetest men I've ever met. He delivered me and my two sisters. He re-set Uncle Paul's shattered shoulder when he came back from the war. He's a really kind man. He even helped a local family here adopt a war orphan from London."

Once again, my body locked down at the mention of Serena.

Bella shuddered once more, but this reaction wasn't part of the rouse. Her eyes went wide and locked on mine. I reached forward and clasped her hand in mine. My eyes stared deeply into hers, hoping she could read the message buried within them.

_I know, baby, we're going to find her…tonight!_

Claire noticed our exchange and quickly moved to place a light hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Believe me, he is a good man, miss." She lifted her wrist to stare at her watch. "Perhaps you'd feel better if he'd take a look at you outside of his office. He's probably about done for the day. We could call him and have him meet you at your hotel?"

"Actually, Claire, we're staying at a bed and breakfast on South Gladstone. Do you think Dr. Varner would accept patients at home? I know it's short notice, but since we're planning to leave in the morning…"

Claire waived me off. "I'm sure he'd be happy to help you out." She smiled down at Bella once more. "Honestly, you could always just go and talk with him," she added with a bright smile.

Bella nodded shyly and placed her hand on top of Claire's.

"Yes, thank you."

"I guess I'd better find a payphone and call Quil for a ride, huh?"

Claire laughed. "No need to call him. He's waiting out back in his taxi for my shift to end. He always makes sure that I get home safely. _And that he gets a kiss goodnight,"_ she added shyly under her breath.

oo!OO!oo

I cradled Bella's hand in mine as we made the twenty minute drive from the diner to 23rd and Washington. I rubbed soothing circles over the back of Bella's hand. It was as much of a distraction for me as an attempt to comfort her. My mind raced through contingencies. How would we get inside the house? Would it be as easy as Claire had made it seem? What would we do if he wouldn't take us to Serena? I realized quickly that our window of opportunity to remain undiscovered by the locals would close fairly quickly if tonight's meeting ended badly.

"Excuse me, Quil?" I asked.

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you know Dr. Varner well?"

"Of course," he replied as if the question was ridiculous. "Everyone here pretty much knows everyone else in these parts."

"Yes, I just mean that Claire mentioned what good man Dr. Varner was. When we asked for the name of a local doctor she had no hesitation describing the humanitarian virtues of your town doctor. She mentioned how he helped a war orphan find a family."

"Yes, sir, Dr. Varner is a great man."

"Do you know what happened to the child's parents?" I asked in what I hoped was a casual tone.

"Umm, I'm not really sure. I guess they just died in the war." Something in his tone and body language suggested that there was more to the story than he was letting on.

Bella spoke up for the first time during the trip. "It was lucky for the child to find a good home with things being as they are these days. I imagine it would be tough to take on another mouth to feed with the tightening war rations," she finished coolly.

"That's true," Quil replied "but the family who took her in couldn't have any children of their own and the little one brought a lot of joy into that home... Joy they certainly needed in their lives," Quil added after a long pause.

"So the child is doing well?" Bella asked with a slight crack in her voice. "I mean, I don't have any children right now, but I can only imagine the effects of war on a little one."

"Uhh, well," Quil started with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I know her father does everything he can to make sure she's well cared for."

I tensed at his words. _I'm her father! I'm the one who is supposed to be taking care of her. Not some stranger._

I swallowed hard and rubbed my eyes with my hand. I didn't know what to feel. Part of me was happy that Serena was being looked after. The other, more selfish part of me, wanted a reason to snatch her from them and bring her home. The black and white lines of right and wrong had instantly become a water colored mess of grey. Before I could dwell any longer on my muddled thoughts, Quil took a sharp left onto the long driveway of the Varner home.

My eyes lifted to a huge estate that rose before us. Our cab passed between two lighted brick cornices and a long row of mature pines. As we rolled up the driveway, I was stunned by the home's sheer size. It was a beautiful, two story brick colonial. The white columned portico emphasized the lavish entrance to the home. I squeezed Bella's hand tightly in mine, but my eyes remained locked on the home. With every ounce of control I had, I swallowed my hatred for the man who took my child and left my wife for dead. No, I wouldn't be bestowing words of praise on the good doctor. Not tonight.

I helped Bella from the cab while Quil pulled her wheelchair from the trunk. Knowing Bella as well as I did, I knew that she would want to take these steps under her own power. I asked Quil to put the wheelchair on the front steps, while I led my wife to the door. Quil offered to wait for us, but I told him that wouldn't be necessary since we didn't know how long we would be. I tipped him generously, and he handed me a paper in return.

"This is the phone number for the Pine Knot. I'll be there until ten so just give them a call if you need a lift back to your room. Claire will find me for you."

I nodded, shaking Quil's hand in thanks. He turned back toward his car, and I heard the tires make their way back down the paved drive. Turning back to my wife, I gave her a small smile and cradled her face in my hands. I pulled Bella forward and pressed my lips to hers. My eyes closed as she melted into my embrace. In that moment, we were both giving and taking every spare ounce of strength from each other.

"I love you," I whispered into her hair as my arms tightened around her waist.

"I love you too, Edward. I couldn't do this without you."

I nodded. The simple action rubbed my chin rubbed along the top of her head. Bella fit perfectly in my arms. I was almost afraid to let her go and face the path before us.

"Come on," she urged with a slight tremor in her voice. "Let's go find our daughter."

With a shaky hand, I reached up grasped the ring of the brass knocker. It clapped loudly, beneath my fingers, announcing our presence. I waited with bated breath for a response from the other side. The locked door felt like a barrier between me and every happiness I wanted for our future. Seconds passed but it felt like an eternity as my heart thundered loudly in my chest.

"I've got it, Janelle," a voice called out.

I positioned Bella behind me and tensed to face the man on the other side of the door. I heard the clatter of heavy footsteps against a wood floor. I puffed up my chest and straightened my shoulders. He would not keep me from my future. I'd fought too hard for it. The door swung open, and a man stood before me in a dark suit with a loosened tie and unbuttoned collar. The man, who I presumed to be Dr. Varner, looked to be in his late forties. He had had salt and pepper hair and a medium build. His look of confusion softened into one of compassion as he took in the sight of me in my uniform.

A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he addressed me. "Can I help you, soldier?"

I nodded and tensed my jaw jutting out my chin. My eyes met his with an intensity boiling in the pit of my stomach that I had never felt before. "Yes, I'm Edward Masen; I believe you know my wife."

The man visibly shuddered as I stepped aside to reveal Bella behind me. His mouth opened and closed, but no sound escaped. He swallowed hard before finally recovering himself. His eyes darted back toward the inside of the house before returning to me. His body leaned forward as if he intended to step outside and close the door behind him.

"It's rather cold, Dr. Varner. As strong as my wife is, I prefer not to test the limits of her health by having this conversation on your front step."

I stepped forward, bringing all two hundred and eight pounds of my frame within inches of the pathetic excuse for a physician before me.

He nodded and seemed to snap out of his shock. "Yes, of course, please come inside."

We stepped into a massive foyer, accented by a curved staircase and mahogany banister. Dr. Varner stepped quickly to his left and motioned for us to follow him into the parlor. I grasped Bella tightly. I could feel her body tremble under my arm. I wasn't sure if she was remembering the pain of her injuries or if she was shaking from the fear of never raising Serena. We made our way slowly into the room as Dr. Varner found the liquor cabinet and fixed himself a neat scotch. He put the first one down in two gulps and poured a second before turning back to us. We took our last steps forward and sat gingerly on the edge of the davenport.

"You're alive…_and walking. _Good God." He sighed.

Bella straightened, and a hard mask covered her expression. She had no mercy, no forgiveness for this man.

"Yes, I am very much alive. I'm getting stronger every day, Dr. Varner."

He stepped forward placing his glass on the coffee table and knelt before my wife.

"Please understand, Mrs. Masen, I meant no harm. I didn't want you to suffer."

"But I did, and it was by your hand."

I looked down on the man who knelt before my wife. There was no malice in his voice. No hint of pretension in his words. He seemed to truly believe what he was saying. An old adage passed through my mind: _the road to Hell is paved with good intentions._ And he certainly had put her through hell.

"I'm so sorry," he countered. "I mean, of course I'm happily stunned that you're alive. No physician _ever_ wants to lose a patient."

"And no patient wants her physician to consider her a lost cause."

I managed to keep the smug grin off my face but was so _damn_ proud of my wife.

Dr. Varner crumbled before Bella. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I don't want to be right, Dr. Varner. I want _you_ to make it right. I want to see my daughter."

Dr. Varner looked up from Bella's knees; agony covered his expression before he controlled it into a composed mask.

"I- I don't know where she is," he stammered.

I leapt to my feet, towering over the coldhearted man before me. His words of apology were nothing more than that, _words._

"You must think we're stupid, naive children. I assure you, we are neither, Dr. Varner, far from it. You know, you're famous in this little town," I spat. "You're a hero for saving a child, a war orphan more specifically, from a sad, lonely life in London." My fingers itched to put this man through his pane glass window. "We want to see our daughter, _now_."

"I'm sorry, I can't reveal where she was placed," he said swallowing hard and looking at the ground.

"Can't or won't?"

The last reserve of my composure unhinged at his words. I stepped forward to literally beat the information out of this man, when a clattering from the upstairs hall momentarily froze my movement.

"Stephen, come on," a voice called out as it echoed down the stairs. "I want to get to Peter's before he puts Serena down for the night."

Bella sat up ramrod straight at the sound of our daughter's name. She grasped my arm and struggled to stand. Dr. Varner exhaled loudly, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. A moment later, a woman appeared at the entrance to the parlor. The edge of her dressed wrapped around her legs continuing the motion it had made when she had abruptly stopped. Her body stiffened as she noticed our presence. Her blonde locks were tucked into a tight twist. I noticed her fingers positioned at her ear, as she fastened a clip, pearl earring into place.

"I'm sorry," she said, recovering herself from the shock of strange visitors in her home. "I didn't realize we had guests this evening."

I turned and took a step toward the woman. The action shielded her vision of both Bella and her husband kneeling on the floor. The woman's eyes grew wide as she appeared to take in my appearance. Her eyes betrayed her as she stared at me and then flitted across the room to a photograph stationed on a corner desk. My eyes followed hers, and I took notice of the picture for the first time. It was a small silver frame outlined in carved ivory roses. The photograph bore the image of a tiny baby with wide eyes and dark feathery curls. It was my image, my nose, my chin. The corner of my mouth lifted minutely as I took in the vision of my daughter. Not one I had conjured in my mind, but real flesh and blood, healthy and alive.

_She's real._

My knees nearly buckled at the site.

I stepped quickly across the room and lifted the frame from the desk. I stared at Serena longingly before turning back toward the deceptive liar in the room.

"So, Dr. Varner," I started. My voice was thick with sarcasm. "You really have _no_ idea where my daughter's been placed?"

The woman's eyes found her husband's.

"Stephen, what is he saying?"

I cut off Dr. Varner before he could poison his wife's intentions.

"He's saying he can't help us find our daughter…Can you?"

I stepped forward and placed the photograph in the woman's hands. I moved toward my wife and brought her to stand face to face with the woman as she clutched the picture of Serena in her hands. A stray tear rolled down the woman's cheek.

"I only wan-" Bella started, but I cut Bella off before she could say more. I tightened my grip on her hand.

"We want to see her," I finished for her stoically.

_Beyond that, nothing was certain._

_

* * *

_**A****/N: **I think sometimes you start a chapter in one direction and then the 'voice' of the character leads you in another. I didn't plan on Bella's reaction to the agent but who Bella is as a person seemed to lead me in this direction. What did you guys think about her reaction?

My MIL was raised in Columbus, Indiana. Cummins Engine is truly a backbone of the town. Also, Dr. Varner's house (link below) is one of the most beautiful homes in the entire town.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-First Blush

PS. Simple Good Girl convinced me to go out on Twitter to answer some reader questions. I'll be out there around 8 eastern tonight if you guys want to ask me anything. My twitter account is FirstBlushMom if you want to look for me.

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 24 Selfless  
**

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella receive Jasper's letter to Alice as confirmation that Col. Swan is okay.

**Historical Significance: **Mail planes were first launched in the mid 1930's to carry mail across the Atlantic from the US to London.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=6Q_zNrj0GpM

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella and Edward inspect the OSS identification of Agent Felix

**Historical Significance: **Image of an OSS badge

**Source: **http:/diglib(dot)princeton(dot)edu/ead/getEad?eadid=MC019(dot)09&kw=

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella tests Felix's credentials by asking questions about his contacts.

**Historical Significance: **By May 1944 the "Dogwood-chain" was found to be unreliable and dangerous. Phony information was intended to misdirect the resources of the Allies. The largest American intelligence gathering tool in occupied territory, was shortly thereafter shut down.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Office_of_Strategic_Services

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward looks over the letter from Jasper addressed to Alice in Easton, MD

**Historical Significance: **Servicemen were given special stationary for letters to be sent home. Censorship prevented soldiers from writing anything specific about the war. Every GI knew that each letter would be thoroughly examined before being forwarded on to the States. This prevented information from leaking into the hands of the enemy if the mail was intercepted.

**Source: **http:/letter(dot)ie/0014/

WWII Letters to home written by servicemen and their families. Several different lots of letters are contained within this website.

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella are told of how Cummins Engine is helping with the war effort.

**Historical Significance: **World War II ensured the success of Cummins. The American military bought every diesel engine which could be produced in preparation for an Allied invasion of continental Europe.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Clessie_Cummins

https:/quickserve(dot)cummins(dot)com/info/qsol/promotions/other/military_history(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella's cab driver, Quill points out local attractions in Columbus, Indiana

**Historical Significance: **…if my memory serves me correctly many store owners on Washington Street painted Christmas scenes on their huge store windows each Christmas in the late 40s and early 50s. They were multi-colored and it promoted a nice taste of Christmas downtown

**Source: **http:/columbusin(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=trivia&action=print&thread=177

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**Story reference: **Edward and Bella's cab driver, Quill points out local attractions in Columbus including the Crump Theater

**Historical Significance: **The Crump Theater remains the oldest operating theater in the state of Indiana.

**Source: **http:/columbusin(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=theatres&action=display&thread=312&page=5

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella's cab driver, Quill points out local attractions in Columbus including the Crump Theater

**Historical Significance:**The Christmas window at Westermeier Hardware contained a train set that could be set in motion by pressing on a panel in the window (outside). I remember standing in line to have my turn. Watching "A Christmas Story" always reminds me of that time. -Clark F.

Re: Trivia About Columbus Indiana  
Post by clarkfoster on Jun 19, 2006, 3:58pm

**Source: **http:/columbusin(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=trivia&action=print&thread=177

* * *

**Story reference: **Claire is a waitress at the Pine Knot Grill on Ohio Street.

**Historical Significance: **The Pine Knot Grill was actually opened right after the war by Paul Mcqueen. He was a cook in the navy. The Pine Knot was a local eatery before the term fast food was coined. It was known for good food at a fair price.

**Source: **http:/columbusin(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=trivia&action=print&thread=177

(1/3 down the page)

* * *

**Story reference: **Claire asks Edward and Bella if they want the house special or Chicken feed.

**Historical Significance: **Gossip was called chicken feed locally.

**Source: **http:/columbusin(dot)proboards(dot)com/index(dot)cgi?board=trivia&action=print&thread=177

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella take Claire's advice to visit Dr. Varner at his home instead of his office.

**Historical Significance: **Street side view of Dr. Varner's home in Columbus, IN.

**Source: **http:/maps(dot)google(dot)com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=7+w+market+st,+Indianapolis,+IN&sll=39(dot)768535,-86(dot)159173&sspn=0(dot)006391,0(dot)009656&g=7+w+market+st,+Indianapolis,+IN&ie=UTF8&ll=39(dot)768502,-86(dot)158819&spn=0(dot)003191,0(dot)009656&z=17&iwloc=addr&layer=c&cbll=39(dot)768516,-86(dot)158743&panoid=fmZon_05U7O2eQEO2hVaRQ&cbp=11,276(dot)1008151280189,,0,-8(dot)708105159413392&utm_campaign=en&utm_medium=lp&utm_source=en-lp-na-us-gns-svn


	25. Chapter 25 Serenity

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

**_AN: _**_Lots of new readers and reviewers this week, welcome : ) And thank you to my friend who continue to support and recommend this story. Chapter 25 has been a long time coming, so without further ado..._**_  
_**

* * *

**Serenity**

"Stephen, my God, what have you done?"

"I did what I thought was right, Janelle."

Dr. Varner stood and moved toward his wife.

"Stephen, you told me she was dead. You told Charlotte and Peter the mother was dead!"

"I had no idea, Janelle. There wasn't a chance; it was inevitable. The child would have been alone, in a foreign country, in the midst of war, with no one to look out for her."

"So you did what? You took her?" the woman shrieked.

"They told me she was dead," Bella whispered. "They told me she was stillborn." Bella took the photograph from the woman's hands. She stroked Serena's plump cheek lightly with her fingertip as tears rolled down her cheeks. "But I heard her. I heard her cry when she was born. I knew she was alive. I didn't care what the nurses said. My baby was alive."

Dr. Varner sat down and put his face in his hands. His wife walked forward and crouched down before him.

"Stephen, we have to give her back. Charlotte wouldn't want this."

Bella's head lifted from the photograph. She looked like she was going to say something, but I caught her eyes. I spun her carefully so she was facing me. My fingers wove into her hair, and I pulled her forehead forward. Quietly, I whispered against her skin.

"We need to find her, Bella. We need to see her before we decide anything else."

Dr. Varner's voice snapped my attention back to his slumped form. His head was still cradled in his hands.

"What about Peter, Janelle? This will kill him."

"This isn't our decision to make, Stephen. If you don't take them to her, _I_ will."

After another moment passed Mrs. Varner stood, leaving her husband on the couch, and walked past us into the foyer. She opened a closet door and pulled a winter coat from its hanger. Her heels clicked loudly against the wooden floor as she walked toward the back of the house. At the sound of her clinking keys, I grabbed Bella under the arm and took her to meet Mrs. Varner in the foyer. When she reached us, she turned toward her husband.

"We're going, Stephen, with or without you, but I think you owe it to Peter to tell him to his face."

He looked up at his wife and met her eyes with a hollow, bloodshot look of his own. He sat there frozen for nearly a minute before he finally nodded and hefted himself up off the davenport.

The trip to Serena's home was a short one. It wasn't nearly as refined as the Varner's, but it was certainly comfortable and well kept. Bella trembled in my arms as we walked up the steps to the front door. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Janelle Varner knocked on the door.

Seconds later the door was opened by a blond haired man who looked to be a few years younger than the Varners. He smiled widely when he saw them.

"Janelle, Stephen, I'm so glad you could come." He paused, apparently taking in the forlorn expressions of his friends. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Let's go inside, Peter. We've brought a couple with us that you need to meet."

Peter nodded and stepped aside allowing Dr. and Mrs. Varner to enter his home. His eyes widened when he caught sight of me helping Bella take a shaky step up into the entryway.

"Please, come in. Can I take your coats?"

I lifted Bella's coat from her shoulders and handed it to the man. He looked at me, then Bella, then at his friends. Before he could utter a word, a gurgled shriek of laughter came from his living room.

My head and Bella's both snapped in the direction of the garbled coo.

_Serena._

"That's Serena," he offered, lifting his shoulder to point in the direction of the room behind us. He was unable to motion with his hands which were currently occupied with our coats. "She's playing a bit before her bedtime. She tends to get a little loud when she's talking to herself."

If my heart could break, it would have done so at the exact moment I heard my daughter's laugh. I watched Peter turn and lay the coats over a desk in his office before coming back into the entry.

"Peter," Janelle called softly. "These are the Masens, Isabella and Edward Masen." She paused to swallow hard. "They're Serena's parents."

Before the man could answer his friend, before the look of shock had even registered on his face, another hysterical shriek of laughter came from the living room. Bella turned away from Peter, entranced by the noise. She walked steadily forward ignoring the Varners, Peter and even me. I followed Bella's staggered steps as she moved in the direction of the noise. The call of Sleeping Beauty's spinning wheel echoed in my mind as we made our way down a lengthy hallway, beckoned by the warm glow of a lit fireplace at the opposite end. I had one hand under Bella's elbow grounding her to me and guiding her forward, lest either of us changed our minds. I caught a row of framed portraits along the wall from the corner of my eye. In the first one, a beautiful woman stood next to Peter grinning from ear to ear. The next was of the same woman in a wedding dress, the one following that was of them both sitting on a porch swing, and the last was of a more haggard but happy looking face as it nuzzled our child in her arms. Bella's words on the train echoed in my mind.

_For myself, I'm strong. For Serena, I'm her mother. What I am only matters if she's safe. We're not safe, Edward. Not now. Edward, I don't want this either, but what I want doesn't matter._

There could hardly be a worse fate than finding her only to turn around and walk away. My grip tightened under Bella's arm. Another loud and playful screech propelled us further down the hallway. With my final steps, I was graced with a sight that nearly brought me to my knees. An illuminated glow surrounded a tiny baby playing on a cheerful red and green patterned quilt. She was grabbing for her footed feet and grasping them just long enough to manage one toward her drooling, slobbery mouth. As soon as it reached her intended destination, she would shriek out a peal of laughter nearly startling herself with her own boisterous sounds. Her feet would go flying and kicking in delight before the process would begin all over again.

_My heart took flight. Our baby._

I could see instantly how Mrs. Varner had recognized the similarities in me. Just like her photograph, Serena had my features in her face and along her jaw. Yet, what a photograph could never capture was the depth of her mother's brown eyes. They sparkled with delight as she turned her little head toward our approach. Another peal of laughter was abruptly halted as she stuffed a slobbering fist into her mouth. I laughed in spite of myself, wondering if that trick would work as well when she became a mouthy teenager. With that one errant thought as a guide, a wave of fierce determination settled over me.

_We would not be leaving here alone._

Bella's hand reached forward to touch Serena from afar. We were still about three yards from our babbling little beauty. Bella quickly pulled back her hand as if she had been burned and covered her mouth. A quiet cry escaped between her fingers, and her shoulders shook as she rasped for air. Her legs suddenly buckled beneath her, and I caught her round the waist just before she collapsed. I half dragged, half carried Bella the remaining few feet forward until we reached the edge of Serena's quilt. Together we sank to the ground before our child. Bella collapsed to her hands and knees and crawled forward to our baby girl. She stopped just inches from Serena, to lie on her stomach, and leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

"Hello, little miracle," she whispered.

Bella reached out her hand and with the slightest touch of a single finger, she stroked the soft curve of Serena's cheek. An awed look of delight crossed Serena's face before she kicked her feet and squealed again in laughter. Her smile was instantly the most amazing thing I'd ever witnessed. More tears streamed down Bella's cheeks. I reached forward to lift her hair behind her shoulder so that I could take in the beauty of my wife looking upon her child for the first time.

I crawled forward and sat gingerly next to my wife. One hand was braced behind me, the other propped up on my bent knee. My hand covered my mouth as I shook my head in awed disbelief. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Every image I'd ever dreamed up for Serena was now a possibility, kissing her goodnight, taking her to school, teaching her to dance and even walking her down the aisle someday. All of those images flashed before me as a bright and brilliant future ahead of us. I would protect it. I would give anything, do anything, to defend it. My head turned slightly back toward the foyer as I heard the edge of a whispered argument.

"…_wasn't supposed to survive."_

"…_just turned up today."_

"_Can't imagine what you're feeling…"_

"…_thank God, Charlotte…"_

I ignored the voices and focused my attention back on my wife and daughter. I lifted the hand that was resting on my knee and reached out my hand in Serena's direction. Her suckling against her fist stopped for just a moment as she reached forward and grasped one of my fingers. I was amazed by her ability to reach for me. Our connection entranced me as I marveled over her tight hold on my finger.

_Blood of my blood, bone of my bone._

Serena turned her head toward me as she pulled my finger into her mouth. Her tiny jaw gummed veraciously against my skin. I was taken aback by how surreal this was. She was so warm, so soft and so beautiful.

"Hello, sweet princess," I whispered.

I lifted my free hand to run it lightly over her soft head and feathery copper curls. Her eyes flickered toward Bella, and she released my finger with another squeal of delight. I followed Serena's gaze to see the brilliant smile covering my wife's face. She had shifted onto her left hip and reached into her pocket to produce a tiny, long eared pink bunny. I smiled, silently thanking God once again for Carlisle and Esme. Without them, Bella wouldn't be here right now.

Bella proffered the toy to Serena who grasped onto one ear with her tiny hand and abruptly shoved it into her mouth. A joyous gurgle was muffled by her now cloth filled mouth. I smiled at Bella and nudged her playfully with my shoulder.

"I think she likes her new toy." I leaned close to her ear and kissed her temple. "But no toy could be as wonderful as seeing her mama. You're so beautiful, Bella; I can't even begin to describe it."

She turned and kissed my lips slowly and softly. Her hand reached up and cradled my cheek. I shifted to my side and pulled Bella into a seated position and flush against me. Her back was to my front. I leaned forward and placed my chin on her shoulder.

"You should hold her and rock her to sleep."

She turned to me, and I could see the longing in her eyes, coupled with hesitation. My only guess was that she was wondering how much harder it would be to leave Serena if she granted herself this gift. Little did Bella know that I had no intention of separating my wife from our child ever again. My fingers curved under Serena's tiny body. I held her firmly as she squiggled in her pink footed pajamas. My head bowed forward, and I placed a feather light kiss against her forehead.

"I love you, baby girl."

I laid Serena gently in Bella's arms. The motion seemed familiar to our little girl. The bunny's ear was quickly replaced by her thumb while her free hand continued to open and close over the bunny's terry cloth ear. I pressed my back against the davenport and pulled Bella back against my chest. My arms surrounded both my girls, and I watched over Bella's shoulder as Serena's eyes grew heavy with sleep. Together, the three of us rocked slowly. The surprisingly familiar rhythm brought us a quiet cadence of peace.

Time passed. It could have been minutes or hours, I didn't know. The house echoed around us with a garble of conversations and movement from within other rooms. The one sound that woke me from the quiet reverie of my family was the resounding click that heralded the closing of the front door. My head snapped up in the direction of the hallway. What followed was the sound of a man's footsteps slowly echoing in the confined space. My arms tightened around my wife and daughter as the blond man named Peter approached.

He slowed his steps and lifted his hands in supplication toward us. He was easing his way into the room, inching along the wall until his thigh hit the edge of a leather wing chair. He eased himself slowly into it and clasped his hands together.

"Stephen just left."

I puzzled over why he would use this to start conversation. Was Stephen going to get the police? Surely they would be on our side in this situation. It might take some time, but we would prove it; we would prove she was ours.

"He couldn't bear to watch."

My mouth snapped shut. My teeth ground together, and my arms again tightened around my family. Peter sighed, running his hands over his eyes and ending them in a prayerful pose over his lips.

"Charlotte and I were high school sweethearts," he began. "We married shortly after graduation and just before I started college. Charlotte kept house, and we began plans to start a family. Money was tight, with me being in school. I wasn't frustrated at all that it was taking time for her to conceive. I actually preferred to finish school and start my optometry practice before we had children. Years passed, and still, no child came. It was about that time that I noticed Charlotte started feeling poorly. She would brush it off, but she was often too exhausted to go to the market or do the washing and mending. She had to take long naps in between activities. I thought maybe she was pregnant. Stephen had told me that women are often tired and ill in the first few months, and I was actually hopeful that it had finally happened for us. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The doctors up in Indianapolis found some tumors. She had a number of operations to remove them, but they seemed to keep coming back. At one point they even tried a medication that was a byproduct of mustard gas." He seemed to shudder at the memory. "I refused to take her back for more. I couldn't watch the effects it had on her. Then, about four months ago, Steven brought us back a gift that made her feel better than any medication or surgery ever had, Serena." He paused to smile softly at our sleeping infant. "Charlotte didn't have that much time with her, but I assure you that in that time, she was loved. You're little one brought my wife some of the happiest days she's had in the last decade of her life. It was a gift, one I could never give her on my own, but one I am so grateful she had."

Peter took a deep breath before continuing. "I know you think I should be furious with Stephen. Hell, I know you are as is Janelle, but honestly, I'm still grateful for the simple joy this child brought to my wife before she died."

My forehead furrowed, and I suddenly pitied the man before me. Had it not been for Carlisle and Esme, I would have suffered the same agony.

"How long?" Bella asked, speaking for the first time

"She died on the twelfth of October."

A shiver ran down my spine. _Five weeks? _His wife was barely cold in the ground and here we were, on his doorstep, and in his home to reclaim our daughter.

I heard the approach of a woman's high heels against the wooden floor of the hallway. My eyes lifted to find Janelle standing with a large bag in her right hand and a smaller one in her left. She searched around the room until her eyes fell upon Peter's. She looked at him intently and received his nod in confirmation.

"Janelle has packed Serena's clothes and toys for you. We'll ship her crib and the other large items if you'll give us your new address."

Stunned shock erupted through me. The confused expression must have been evident on both Bella's and my face.

"I will always cherish that little girl for what she gave to my wife, but I know Charlotte would not want me to keep her from you." Tears were now evident in his eyes, and he looked down to hide his grief. "Having you come is almost a relief…_almost. _I would have raised her as best I could. Janelle and Stephen would have helped me too. But that little angel needs more than I can give her; she deserves to have two parents who can love her and give her their whole hearts." He swallowed a sob. "Mine just won't ever be the same."

Bella cried softly and held Serena closer to her chest. My hands rubbed gently up and down her arms as my mind tried to process the inconceivable dichotomy between my overwhelming joy and crushing guilt.

"Thank you," Bella whispered. "Thank you for taking care of her for us." She looked up in earnest to the man who was giving her back the same gift that Serena had given to his wife. "Thank you for being so selfless, for giving her the chance to know us." Bella turned toward me, and a small flash life appeared in her eyes. "We won't squander this chance."

I nodded solemnly at my beautiful wife. _Together we would; whatever it took to keep her safe._

oo!OO!oo

Janelle drove us back to our room at the bed and breakfast. A surreal sense of contentment filled me as we crawled into bed. A pillow lay to Serena's left to keep her from rolling off the bed in the night. Bella crawled in next and curved her body around Serena's. Her hand lay propped under her chin. Her knees tucked up to the point where they were nearly touching Serena's tiny feet. Her body rounded to protect Serena as it had when she was still in her womb. I crawled in behind Bella, mirroring her body's curve with my own. I admired how their bodies folded into one another and an image of Bella, pregnant, flittered through my mind. I toyed with Bella's hair and stroked her arm and back as she gazed upon our child. Every few seconds Bella would lean forward and place a kiss on Serena's cheek or her head or her hand. Every kiss, every stroke, every gentle touch needed to make up for the last four months of separation.

"She's perfect," I whispered.

Bella smiled. "I know. It's hard to believe she's here." She turned back toward me and looked up into my eyes. "Thank you."

"For what? You did the hard work." I smiled and nudged her playfully.

"You know what I mean," she argued. "You fought to find her when I wanted to give up. You wouldn't let me walk away. I'm so happy to have her; it's so hard to describe what I'm feeling."

I wanted to know everything, share everything with her.

"Try?"

"Well, it's like finding a missing piece that you can't feel whole without. When I press her tiny body against my chest, it's like the click of a lock, the flip of a switch, the connection to the strongest magnet. Now that I felt her there, I never want to let her go. It's so hard to explain. it feels like an ache in my chest that heals because a piece of myself has come back to me. I've never wanted to hold and love and care and protect anything more in my life."

I wrapped my arm around her tightly and stroked the fine hairs on Serena's head with the other. The feeling was similar to the relief I felt after Bella recovered from the infection. Another anchor around my heart had released and the air at the surface of the water was finally setting us both free.

"Edward," Bella called as she leaned into my shoulder. "I'm still afraid. For her and for all of us."

"I know. It will be okay," I answered as I pressed my lips to her neck and down her shoulder. "I won't let anything happen to you, to either of you."

I meant every word.

"We have to be really careful," Bella continued. "It won't be easy traveling with an infant."

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I think we should go see Alice. She's living on her own now out in the country not far from my father's house. I used my grandparents' address when Isabella Dwyer signed up for the OSS so no one should be able to track my connection to her."

I nodded but furrowed my brow.

"What is it?" she asked.

"My parents; they'll want to know what happened. They'll want to know if we found Serena. They'll want to see her."

"Edward…"

"I know, I know. It's too risky."

"Let's just see what information we get from command. What they think the security risks are. Perhaps there's a way we can let them know we're safe. Maybe we could meet them somewhere that's not connected to them for Christmas?"

I brightened at the idea of letting my mother hold our infant daughter. She would be beyond overjoyed. She needed some joy in her life. Both of my parents did.

"One thing at a time, right? First, we go to Easton and get you settled. We'll get some aliases so that you can see a doctor there. We'll find out the situation with the mole and figure out the risks before we do anything else."

I nudged Bella's shoulder playfully. My teeth lightly nipped along her shoulder.

"For now, I think we'd better get some sleep. Who knows how long it will be before this little angel is up looking for her next bottle? I think our days of sleeping in are over, Mrs. Masen."

Bella smiled in return. "I guess it's good that operatives don't need much sleep then, huh?"

I laughed a bit before kissing her shoulder once more. Bella reached down and clasped my hand in hers. She brought them up close to her lips and kissed our joined fingers before placing them firmly against her heart. I squeezed her to me while Bella lay her head down on her free arm. Her fingers curved so that she could brush them along Serena's curly hair.

"I love you, little miracle," she whispered goodnight.

I watched them both with a full heart until my own eyes became too heavy to keep open.

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: 25  
**

**Title: Serenity  
**

**Story reference: **Peter describes Charlotte's treatment for 'growths'.

**Historical Significance: **Cancer was the second leading cause of death between 1940 and 1944. Heart disease was the leading cause. A mustard gas agent was first used to treat cancer tumors.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)cancer(dot)gov/aboutnci/100-years-advances/page3

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/History_of_cancer_chemotherapy

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**Story reference:**Edward describes Serena's clothing as he sees her for the first time

**Historical Significance: **A picture of infant pajamas in the 1940's. They're not too dissimilar from what infants wear today.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)gettyimages(dot)com/detail/3228295/Hulton-Archive

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward's words to Serena as he holds her for the first time.

**Historical Significance: **Blood of my blood, bone of my bone is actually a Scottish wedding vow recorded in Gaelic.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)proz(dot)com/kudoz/english_to_gaelic/poetry_literature/844651-blood_of_my_blood(dot)html

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**A/N:** Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope the chapter lived up to expectations. I'd like to know if you still have the same feelings toward Dr. Varner now as you did before reading this chapter? I find it to be a tough call. So, now that Bella and Edward have her, how do they keep her safe?

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,

-First Blush

PS. I'll be out on Twitter around 8 eastern tonight if you have TLB questions. My twitter account is FirstBlushMom, or just send me a PM. : )


	26. Chapter 26 Reckoning

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

**_AN: _**_I made a banner for this chapter if you want to check it out... _http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0000q7kd

**_

* * *

_**

**Reckoning**

"You bought a Packard?" Bella asked disbelievingly.

I shrugged my shoulders allowing a shy, half smirk to creep along the right side of my face. I leaned back against the shiny white automobile with my arms folded across my chest.

"What can I say?" I answered with one cockily raised eyebrow. "It called to me. The only problem is that the steering wheel is on the wrong side," I joked.

Bella cradled a tightly bundled Serena against her chest. She smiled brilliantly at me.

_God, she's so beautiful._

"Well, come on," she snarled with a hint of humor. "Let's get a move on. We're getting cold sitting out here."

The weight of both Bella and Serena in my arms felt like nothing as I lifted her from her chair and helped her into the front seat. I was floating, buoyed by happiness, as I unlocked the trunk to put her chair inside before slamming it and running back to the driver's side. Despite the frigid weather, this was the warmest I'd felt in a very long time. I beamed at Bella, taking her free hand to press it against my lips.

_I had my family, and we were going home…together._

The trip back east would take us two days at least, assuming good weather. I looked over my shoulder to re-check the stores of food and supplies I had bought after purchasing the car this morning. It was best for us to be prepared for any situation. Weather being the least of our true worries.

The day was bright and sunny as we traveled. The sleeping ground, hidden beneath empty corn stalks, was taking its rest until spring called forth again. Rolling hills ebbed and flowed among flat plains and the occasional glimpse of a homestead. Silos and chimney smoke were the symbols indicating where one farm ended and the next began. Church steeples and schoolhouses called out our future as we made our way through the small towns of the heartland. A slow smile played across my lips thinking of all we had to look forward to if only we could master the basics of childcare.

_It wasn't quite as easy as I'd imagined._

I discovered that this morning while trying to pin a diaper in place without injuring my child or myself. Neither Bella nor I had any experience in taking care of an infant. If Bella lacked a little in the basics, she made up for it in spades in adoration. It made my heart skip a beat to see the beauty of my wife getting to know our child. Earlier this morning I sat on the bed and watched Bella as she nuzzled kisses into Serena's neck, causing her to shriek with laughter. Bella traced circles over Serena's round full belly and munched playfully on her dimpled fingers. Not once did the force of my smile seem to abate. My cheeks felt sore from my constant grinning from ear to ear. The ache hardly mattered; I wouldn't trade the cause of this set of sore muscles for anything in this world.

When Bella finally went into shower, I had my first opportunity to have a heart to heart with my baby girl.

"_Good morning, sweet princess," I cooed. _

_I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to think of the right words to use to tell her about myself. It didn't take too long to decide. Starting with my love for Bella seemed to be about the best way I could begin. _

"_I'm a very lucky guy, my princess. I don't know how, but I managed to get your mama to fall in love with me," I whispered secretively into her ear. "She's the best thing that ever happened to me. And I know…I _know_, how much she loves you." A painful ache resonated in my chest as I tried once more to imagine the pain Bella had endured to bring Serena into the world. I swallowed down the lump that had formed in the back of my throat, and tried to blink back my watery gaze. "She's always wanted you," I whispered to Serena. "And even when it hurt her to carry you, she did it. She's so strong, sweetheart. She's so smart. And I promise; no, I _swear_, I'll never let anything hurt you, either of you. I want to be a good daddy for you. I know I'm going to mess up sometimes." I chuckled a bit, causing Serena to smile back at me. Poor girl, she already knew she was in for a rough ride. "But stick with me, okay? I'll keep trying, and your mama will help me. I'll teach you to ride a bike and how to throw a slider." I nodded as I bounced her gently in my arms. "You'll be smart, too. No one will pull the wool over my girl's eyes." I winked at her this time as she sucked eagerly on her thumb. A part of me hoped Bella would finish soon; Serena looked like she was going to gnaw her thumb off. _

_I traced the curve of Serena's cheek with my thumb. My voice lowered again to a whisper as I acknowledged one of my greatest fears. "And I need your help too, baby girl. This is just between you and me now, okay?" I took Serena's gurgling sounds as affirmation. "We're a team now, you and me and mama. You fill up her heart, and I'll make sure that she never wants for anything else." I nodded to Serena confidently; with my GI pay and the winnings from the boat, I could ensure a comfortable life for my family. _

_Despite our newfound joy, something was still festering in the back of my mind. I worried about Bella being truly content after walking away from intelligence. Within Ultra, she was a leader, a decision maker, and a force to be reckoned with. I only prayed that Serena and I would be enough to keep her happy. "You and me, sweet princess," I crooned into her ear as I kissed her forehead gently. "Together we'll keep your mama happy, and God willing, safe."_

After a few hours on the road, we stopped for a bite to eat and to feed Serena. Once our little girl was settled, Bella relaxed into a comfortable position. We spread our lunch between us on the front seat of the Packard. Serena slept peacefully, wrapped in a few soft blankets Janelle had given Bella for the cold driving weather. I kept glancing over the bench to check on her. Bella smiled and nudged me playfully.

"She's going to have a hard growing up if you smother her like this."

"Hey," I protested. "We've had her for less than twenty-four hours; I think I'm entitled to a bit of smothering." I lifted my eyes from our daughter and checked our surroundings once again to ensure we weren't being followed.

Bella immediately recognized what I was doing and sighed heavily. The weight of that realization had brought our happy, carefree, little picnic back down to earth.

"I think we need to create aliases."

I nodded, not really wanting to admit that we had to change our names to remain below radar.

"It's just a smart thing to do right now," Bella continued. "We don't have an all clear and we may not get one until the war is over. It could be years, Edward."

"Don't talk like that," I snapped.

Bella's eyes shot up to mine, and I immediately felt bad for shouting at her. It wasn't her fault; none of this was, but I didn't want to think of hiding for _years_. I wanted a normal life with my wife and my child. I wanted to see my parents and have them visit whenever they felt like it. I wanted to be Edward and Bella Masen, not some other couple living under aliases.

Bella reached over and grabbed my hand. "You're right. I'm sorry, it may not be as long as that, but we still need to talk about it, Edward." Bella sighed and looked over at our pink bundle in the back seat. "We have to, or we can't –"

I cut Bella off as quickly as a lightning strike. "We _will_."

She nodded reluctantly and returned the conversation to the task at hand. "We should pick something fairly common but keep our first names. What about Smith, or Franklin or Stanley?"

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. Bella just laughed at me.

"Despite the debt of gratitude I owe to the good Father Stanley, I don't intend to live like a priest." I smirked, nudging Bella playfully with my shoulder.

"I'm so glad to hear you say that, my charming husband." A snicker bubbled through me at Bella's playful words. "Okay, you pick one then." She sighed.

I thought more seriously about her request. The truth was, I loved my father and didn't _want_ to dishonor him by changing our name. Unfortunately, there really wasn't a way around it.

There were very few men on earth I respected as much as my father, Edward Masen, Sr. The back of my fingers rubbed along my jaw, scrapping the early scruff that had formed along my jaw. Then one of those men came to my mind.

"What about Cullen, Bella?"

A beautiful smile lit her face as the image of her doctor must have flashed through her mind. She nodded once allowing her brown locks to fall over her shoulder.

"I think it's perfect, Edward."

oo!OO!oo

By the time we stopped for the night it was nearly dinnertime. Our hotel was simple and quiet, just off of Interstate 70. Bella sat on a chair beside our bed while I got ready to leave and find some dinner for us. She smiled adoringly at Serena as she fed her a bottle. I walked over and kissed Serena's head just before Bella's.

"I'm going to go call in first."

Bella looked up, her joyful expression morphed into pressed lips and resignation. She exhaled hard and nodded before meeting my eyes.

"I'm going to try to reach Emmett and my parents as well."

"I understand, just don't linger too long on the payphone. We don't want to attract unnecessary attention."

"I know that," I replied hastily.

Bella's eyes softened into an apology. She motioned to me with her chin and puckered lips to bend down and kiss her. It wasn't too difficult to oblige.

"I know you know, Edward," she answered swallowing hard. She juggled Serena so that she could feed her with one hand and raised her other to cradle my cheek. "I just need you to be careful. I don't want anyone getting a jump on you while Emmett distracts you with jokes and accolades of his recent adventures. I _need _you."

"I love you," I replied.

My lips met hers, and I breathed in her scent; feelings of both calm and desire filled me. Bella's lips picked up into a smile.

"You'd better get going so you can get back here and feed me."

"In bed?" I asked.

"Anywhere you want, just come back soon."

I kissed her forehead once more and left, locking the door securely behind me. There was a payphone about a block from the hotel. Despite the frigid cold, I decided to walk and leave the Packard so as to draw less attention. My eyes swept the space around me, trying to see any familiarity in the vehicles or persons around me. I hated this; I wanted the peace and tranquility with Bella that I had imagined before leaving for the front. Home was supposed to be a safe haven for us, where all the horrors of war were left on the far side of the pond. I sighed heavily, acknowledging that there wasn't much that could be done at the moment. The telephone booth loomed not thirty feet from me now. I paused, pretending to check over Emmett's phone number in my hand. My eyes were looking down, but all of my other senses were exploring around me. Trying to hear sounds of other footsteps nearby, trying to catch the scent of another person in the wind, trying to focus on my training to alert me to the presence of another. Finding nothing to draw my concern, I stepped into the phone booth and quickly closed the door. After depositing a nickel into the slot, I rang the operator for my family's area code.

"Hello?" a woman's voice called out a few minutes later.

"Yes, I'm looking for Elizabeth Masen, do I have her?"

"No, I'm sorry. Mrs. Masen lives down the hall. I can give you her number."

"No, please," I quickly answer. "I'm calling from a payphone and don't have enough change with me to call her back again. Is there any way you can reach her for me?"

"Sure, hon, can I tell her who's calling?"

My fingers twitch as I grasp the remaining loose change in my pocket. "This is Gordy, Gordy Hawkins, from Newtown."

"Okay, I'll see if I can find her for you."

I quickly deposited another nickel hoping that my reference to my mom's high school sweetheart would be enough to bring her to the phone. Minutes passed and I began to wonder if I was going to be able to keep my promise to Bella and avoid drawing attention.

"Hello?" my mom called out breathlessly. "Gordie? How on earth did you find me?"

"Mom, it's me. _Please _don't let on that it's me you're talking to."

I heard the muffle of the phone while my mother spoke away from the receiver.

"Oh, Gladys, thank you for getting me. We're having a high school reunion for my class in a couple of weeks and an old friend was trying to find out if we're coming."

"_No problem, sweetie."_ I heard Mrs. Carson reply. _"I was hoping it was good news about your boy."_

_Spot on as usual, Mrs. C._

My mother returned to the phone quickly. "Gordie, it's _so_ good to hear your voice. How are you doing? Is everything going well in your neck of the woods?"

"We're fine, Mom. We're _all _fine." I could hear her cry being muffled by her hand followed by a stuttering breath. "Listen, we can't come home right now. Bella and I are-" I stopped, struggling to find the right words so as not to alarm her nor give away our true activities while we were in London. "We're making sure that Serena is safe by not coming straight home. We have some other things to take care of, but we're all together. I'll call you as soon as I can, and hopefully we'll see you by Christmas."

"Oh, Gordie, I'm so happy for you," my mother cried. "I can't wait to see you at the reunion next month. I know that Ed will want to catch up too. How is your family doing at home?"

I smiled, knowing my mom would want all of the details I could offer about Serena. "She's beautiful, mom. She has Bella's eyes and my color hair. She is a good mix of both of us. She's perfect. I know you can't wait to hold her, but I have to go now. I'll try to call again soon."

"Please give them my love."

"I love you too, Mom."

The receiver felt like it weighed ten pounds in my hand after disconnecting the call. After I fed a few more nickels into the coin slot, I hoped Emmett would be able to lighten my spirits.

"Hello?" a female voice answered on the other end of the line.

"Yes, I'm looking for Emmett McCarty."

"Emmie's not home yet. Can I take a message?"

I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at his family's nickname.

"Umm," I paused before answering. I didn't think there was much possibility of someone tracking down Emmett to find me, but the first rule of an operative was never to underestimate the enemy. "This is a friend of his," I said cryptically. "We met on the boat back from Scotland last week."

"Oh, is this Edward?" the voice replied. "He asked me to give you this number in upstate New York. He's been stayin' with a lady friend up there. She sounds kind of uppity to me, but he's a grown boy now, not much I can do 'bout it."

I quickly took down the number and thanked Mrs. McCarty for her help.

"Now you tell that boy of mine to quit chasin' skirts and come home. It's been two years since we've seen him and…" her voice trailed off into a quiet sound of an aching heart.

"I will, Mrs. McCarty," I answered for her. "Trust me, he'll listen or I'll have that uppity skirt shove him out the door for me."

A few minutes later, I had Emmett on the other end of the line.

"Edward, God it's good to hear your voice man. Well?"

"We got her, Emmett."

A hard exhale was followed by a muffled sound of Emmett telling Rosalie the news.

"That's amazing, Edward. Rosie is thrilled for you too."

_Rosie? I guess Emmett and the AoD are official now._

"She's perfect, Emmett. I can't even begin to describe -"

A lump suddenly formed in my throat halting my words. How could I describe the joy of having something so warm, so beautiful to call your own? And Bella, seeing her after all of the worry and heartache had brought her over the last year. The light in her eyes as she stroked our child was a vision I would never in a million lifetimes ever forget.

"Edward?" Emmett called.

"Yeah, I'm here," I choked.

"Edward, when can we come see you?"

I hesitated, knowing that, like with my folks, we needed to put off meeting them in person for a while.

"Emmett, we're on the road right now. We need to get settled a bit, figure out where we're going to live and everything." My shoulders tensed and I winced, knowing how my words must have sounded to him.

_ A quick and short brush off, thanks for your help, Emmett, but I don't need you anymore._

Quickly I amended and added.

"Besides, _Emmie,_ your ma, gave me a stern talkin' to," I drawled. "She wants you home right quick. No more chasin' skirts."

"Aaaww crap," Emmett moaned followed by a sharp _ow_ that I heard through the receiver. "Wha'd you do that for, Rosie?" More silence. "Sorry, Rose, I won't cuss anymore."

"Emmett, all kidding aside, your mom sounded pretty choked up. I wouldn't wait too much longer."

"I know, I'll be headin' that way soon. I just want to spend some more time with Rose before she heads back again."

I had forgotten that although the war may be over for Emmett, Bella and me, there were many more like Rosalie who continued on until the war was truly over.

"When does she go back?" I asked quietly.

"December tenth, she'll be back by the twenty seventh. How about I come up to see you and your little one before I go and get Rosie in New York? We're gonna spend New Year's Eve together."

"Sounds perfect, Emmett."

_I certainly hoped that by then, it would be._

Forty minutes later, I walked through the door of our hotel room to find a very relieved wife and a very active daughter sitting on our bed.

"Thank God," Bella exhaled in relief.

I walked forward and knelt beside her. Bella traced the scruff of my cheek before placing a kiss against the tip of my nose.

"Well hello there, Rudolf, your cheeks are freezing. Let me warm you up."

Sweet kisses fell against my lips and I could feel the tension release from her body. She traced my shoulders, my back and down my arms, reassuring herself that I was here and fine. The separation, no matter how short was still painful for both of us. Eventually I released her lips and dropped my head to her chest taking in the sounds of the air flowing steadily through her lungs. One arm tightened around her back as the other smoothed down the crumpled fabric of her dress trousers.

"Is everything all right?" She tensed as the loaded question left her lips.

"Emmett and my parents are fine and happy to hear that we have Serena. They're disappointed about not seeing us right away, but I think they understand."

"And?"

"And no _all clear _yet, but there was some news about Germans found up north along the New England shoreline. Apparently a seaman named John Cullen made the report, so much for picking a low key alias."

"Do you think he's related to Carlisle?"

"Maybe a nephew perhaps?" I stared absently, wondering if a family relation was possible. Carlisle _was_ from Boston. I looked up and realized belatedly that Bella wasn't where I left her before I headed off to find dinner. "How did you get her over to the bed, Bella?"

My wife only smirked at me in response.

"Well, it wasn't easy, but we're both here and in one piece.

I rolled my eyes, imagining Bella slumping to the ground and dragging Serena by her chunky legs over toward the bed.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have been gone so long." I stood and leaned over to the bed, kissing both my girls on the head. "You need to eat."

"Mmmhmm, and she needs a bath."

I laughed at my wife. The smirk was back.

"Well, I suppose we need to go with sustenance over cleanliness."

Bella placed her hand on my shoulder. "But, cleanliness is next to Godliness."

"Fine, you eat, and I'll run the bath."

Ignoring me, Bella undressed Serena as I filled the bath. A wisp of a memory came to me as I recalled my mother pressing her wrist to the bath water to test the temperature when Riley and I were children. I repeated the action from my memories, figuring it couldn't hurt. Serena's peals of laughter filled the bedroom as I readied the soap and a dry towel. My shoulder leaned heavily against the doorway of the bedroom as I paused to drink in the sight before me. Serena wiggled and kicked as Bella tickled her tiny feet. Her naked body arched to escape the sweet torture at the hands of her mother.

"What's going on in here?" I admonished.

"We're just playing, Daddy."

My heart nearly stopped upon hearing that spoken word. Bella caught my expression and motioned me over toward her. Her lips lightly pressed against mine as her fingers swept through my hair, dragging gently until they rested against my cheek.

"You're going to be a wonderful daddy, Edward."

I sighed, drinking in her words.

"Wait to say that until after her bath, please?"

"You worry too much. It will be fine."

I scooped up our daughter and extended an elbow to help my wife up off of the bed. Slowly, cautiously, the three of us made our way to the watery playland.

Minutes later my rolled sleeves were dripping with water and my face ached from smiling and laughing so hard. Serena was a slippery little worm. I had no idea how to cradle an infant and her head lolled backward as I grasped her under each arm. Serena found the water entertaining and the wincing faces of her parents hilarious. Our expressions must have encouraged her more for as soon as she found that flailing her arms and legs got that reaction out of us, it encouraged her all the more. Sprays of water hit both of us as Serena's chubby little legs mirrored an airplane propeller. The soap slipped from Bella's washcloth more than once in defense from the onslaught of carefree play.

"How would one person ever manage to do this alone?"

"I have no idea," Bella laughed wiping the dripping water from the edge of my nose.

Suddenly, I had a new found respect for my mother.

All of the activity in the bath must have tuckered Serena out. It wasn't long after she was dressed and dried that she lay sleeping between us, nestled among the blankets on our bed. Bella's body was molded around Serena's sleepy form. Her fingers absently traced her cheek and feathered her thin, copper colored curls.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, startling Bella from her silent daydream.

"I'm fine," she responded all too quickly.

I gave her a condescending look, letting her know I wasn't satisfied with that short reply.

"I am fine, Edward. I'm happy, but I'm scared too," she finally said with a melancholy glance in my direction.

"What scares you, sweetheart?"

"Being good enough for her, protecting her, and selfishly, not loosing myself in the process."

"You are good enough for her. You love her, what more could a child ask? And where you fall, I will pick you up and you'll do the same for me."

I lightly traced Bella's cheek, encouraging her to meet my eyes. There was fear there.

"I'll do everything I can to protect her, Bella, to protect both of you. You know that." Bella nodded, a small smile of recognition was playing at her lips. "And as for loosing yourself, I don't think you have to worry about that, my love. You're a mother, a friend, a daughter, a lover, a wife and anything else you want to be. I love you so much, I wouldn't take that away from you…neither would she," I answered lifting my chin toward Serena. "As long as we're together, we'll make it work. We make a good team, you and me. We always have."

"Oh, Edward," she cried, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. "You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

"I know you better than you know yourself. I vowed I'd make you happy for the rest of your life. It's a promise I _will_ keep."

Silent vows passed between us amidst Bella's tears and trembling fingers. Once again I felt myself close my eyes in prayer against her soft lips.

_You and me, sweet princess, together we'll keep your mama happy, and God willing, safe._

oo!OO!oo

The late afternoon sun shone through the windshield of the Packard as we made or final turns down the country roads of Easton. By late November most of the leaves had lost their colorful luster and turned into a blanket of brown that would cover the earth as it slumbered through the winter months. Bella seemed to stare off in delight as she took in the sights, both new and familiar, of her hometown.

"That's the B&R Boxing Club," she pointed out as we made our way through town.

I turned suddenly to see the edge of a brick building with large windows pass out of the corner of my eye.

"Is that where you learned your defensive skills?" I joked.

Bella laughed, her whole demeanor seemed to lighten as we made our way further into the trails of her childhood home.

"No, silly, that's where I saw Harry Jeffra knock out Jimmy Moran in 1937."

_What?_

Bella must have read the stunned look on my face as she chuckled and continued the story.

"I was fourteen. Charlie and I had only been in Easton for about a year. He got tickets to see Jeffra fight and took me along."

"Isn't that an odd place to take a teenage girl?"

"Well I admit, I did stand out a bit in my Mary Janes, but Jeffra was a local hero and an amazing fighter. He was raised in Baltimore, so all the locals knew him. Practically the whole town was there that night, and no one was about to question my dad for bringing me. Charlie was a huge sports fan in general, but he followed boxing religiously. I saw Jeffra knock Moran into next week. He was kissing the canvas as the ring ref counted him out." Bella smirked a bit at the memory. He went on to become the bantamweight champion of the world that year, then defended the title again in 1938."

I slid my hand down Bella's thigh.

"You'll never cease to amaze me, you know that?"

"I'm glad I can keep you on your toes, but let that be a lesson to you, I still remember that punch. I'm sure I could give it a go if necessary. You don't want to be kissing the canvas for staying out all night."

"Nope, the only all-nighters I'll be having will be with you," I answered seriously. "Besides, I'm certain your left hook is deadly. I'd rather be kissing you than the canvas any day."

Bella laughed, a full blown beautiful raucous. I made myself a vow to hear her laugh like that at least once every day of our married life.

We continued through the little town and into the less populated roads that bordered the local farms. Bella pointed out landmarks and I slowed the car to a crawl as we passed her childhood home. All of the joy in her eyes, settled to a melancholy stare as the two story white colonial drifted out of sight. I squeezed her leg gently for reassurance. Bella's eyes met mine and a knowing half smile began to show in the corner of her mouth.

"He'll be fine, Bella, we'll get word to him that we found Serena soon." I gently patted her thigh. "That will just give him another reason to get himself home." Bella nodded, seeming to use the motion to reassure herself. "Besides, I'm more worried about meeting Alice at the moment."

Bella and Alice lived down the road from one another. Bella had explained that Alice's grandmother had passed on several years ago, leaving her three-story Victorian home to her eldest granddaughter. Apparently it was more than enough house for Alice and Bella was confident that we wouldn't be imposing on her friend.

"We'll, I could tell you not to worry, but that would be a lie. Alice, can be…" Bella paused and looked thoughtful while trying to puzzle through the right adjective to describe her best friend. "Tenacious. She knows what she wants and doesn't let much of anything stand in her way. She's extremely loyal. I'm confident she'll put you through the ringer." Bella laughed before leaning down and kissing Serena's sleeping little head. "But don't worry; I won't leave you defenseless for long."

_Great, _I thought as I tossed Bella a disgruntled pout.

Finally, I made the last turn and the tires began to crackle against the long gravel driveway. The sound shook me into awareness that I was finally going to meet the notorious Mary Alice Brandon. Despite, Bella's joking remarks, I _was _nervous. As the car drew closer to the house, I realized how badly I wanted to make a good impression on her best friend. Siobhan was the closest thing Bella had to a guardian when I began to court her. Rather than protect Bella from the lustful interworking of a young soldier's mind, she encouraged our relationship. She knew that our love was predestined and how happy we would be together. My thoughts turned to Colonel Swan. It was still difficult to think of calling him by anything other than that name. Neither Charlie, nor Mr. Swan, nor _Dad_, I shuddered, seemed to be appropriate. My first impression of Colonel Swan certainly wasn't all that favorable. I had been in his command for six months before he acknowledged me with barely a nod. Now, I was his son-in-law and the father of his granddaughter.

_Yeah, this would make for some interesting Thanksgiving dinners some day._

That thought alone gave me hope. Without even recognizing it consciously, I was envisioning our future, one where Bella and I presided over a huge table, surrounded by family and friends. Our children played as smells of an invariable feast filled the room. The war would end someday. _Charlie_ would return home, and my wife and children would feel safe in our own home, in our own country.

The Packard finally rolled to a stop. I arched my back to clear some of the stiffness from our long drive. After experiencing travel with Bella and Serena over the last few days, I knew it would take more than a few minutes for Bella's legs to loosen. She cradled Serena lovingly in her arms and then bent forward to place a kiss against her tiny forehead. A slow grin spread across her face as she looked up at the enormous home.

"Are you ready?" I asked reaching to take our daughter from her arms.

Bella's grin turned into a full blown beautiful smile. "Ready, as I'll ever be."

"Are _you _ready?" she laughed.

"Just get out of the car; we can't stay in here all day."

Bella leaned over to cover Serena's face with the corner of her blanket. The palm of her hand cradled Serena's sleeping head before she reached back for the handle of her door. A blast of cold air hit us hard as she cracked the door open. Bella moved slowly and gingerly to pull each leg up and move it over to the ground. Before I could even open my door to help her, we were both startled by the slamming of the porch door back against the frame of the house. There before us stood a tiny beauty, poised for the attack.

Mary Alice Brandon was definitely not what I had been expecting. She was petite, no more than five feet tall. She stood at the edge of the porch steps like a prize fighter ready to stare down her opponent. Even from a distance I could see the fire in her grey blue eyes. Her midnight black hair whipped around her pale face in the blustering November wind. Alice stood poised, with no coat and hands placed authoritatively on her hips. Her right hand clasped tightly onto a few sheets of paper to keep them from disappearing like dried leaves tumbling across the fields.

Bella grasped the edge of the door and hauled herself up to a standing position. I could see Alice's eyes widen then close slowly as if she began a silent prayer of thanks in her mind. Her stature didn't change as she opened them to gaze once more upon my wife.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she shouted out into the distance.

I got out of the car and cradled Serena tightly against my chest. She was still so small. Her tiny bundle looked like more like a tightly wrapped salami than a infant.

"Why haven't you written me _sooner_!" she shouted. "You scared the hell out of me."

A loud crack sounded in the air as Bella threw the door of the Packard shut and awkwardly twisted toward her friend. She fumbled slightly but threw her hands on her hips to mirror the defensive stance of her childhood friend. I had just cleared the edge of the car when I saw Alice's approach. She was running full tilt toward Bella and I raced to catch up before Alice slammed into my wife. Alice threw herself at Bella who toppled backwards, unable to bear the weight. I caught them both against my frame and tried to steady us before we all collapsed to the ground. Between, Alice, Bella, Serena and me, we looked like a ridiculous, joyful embrace, or a lunchmeat sandwich with a little salami on the side.

Alice froze in mid embrace, noting Bella's stiff and uncoordinated stance. She pulled back to see her friend, noting the joyful tears in Bella's eyes. A slow smile spread across Alice's face.

"God, you pain in the ass, why the hell haven't you written? You have some major explaining and sucking up to do, Miss Swan."

"Masen," I interjected, allowing my voice to be heard for the first time.

Alice's eyes squinted at me, somewhere between amusement and distrust.

"Her name is now Masen," I clarified. "Isabella Marie Masen."

_Oh, yeah, great first impression, Edward._

"You're married?" Alice shouted incredulously.

"Yes…quite happily," Bella added before turning and sending me a brilliant smile.

Now that we were all steady on our feet, I hoisted Serena from her football hold into a cradle position. I held her tightly and wrapped my free arm around Bella's waist.

"It's rather cold," I said, leaning into my hold on Serena.

"Of course, let's go inside," Alice quickly replied, as if she was just now recognizing her own trembling hands and the shivers running down her tiny body.

Alice reached out with both hands extended toward me.

"Can I take that for you? What have you got there?" she asked.

Bella's smile grew wider as she replied,

"That's your goddaughter."

* * *

**A/N:** The story line about John C. Cullen is true! I couldn't believe it when I found it. Although the year is off, I had to write that one into TLB's story line. It was too much of a coincidence not to share a real life historical event about a Cullen. It was fun to add that to this story.

Thank you for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush

P.S. Next time, we find out what happened with the mole...

* * *

**The Last Breath**

**Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter: 26 Title: Reckoning**

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward buys a Packard to drive him Bella and Serena back east.

**Historical Significance: **The cost of a new Packard was about $700 in the 1940's.

**Source: **See notes from George Z. at the end of chapter 14.

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward gives Bella a report of intelligence involving their new alias…Cullen

**Historical Significance: **This website describes the encounter of Navy Seaman John. C. Cullen with a group of suspected German spies.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)history(dot)navy(dot)mil/faqs/faq114-3(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward brings some loose change to a payphone to call his mother and Emmett.

**Historical Significance: **The cost of a phone call in 1944 was actually only 5 cents.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)nationalww2museum(dot)org/assets/pdfs/lesson-plan21(dot)pdf

* * *

**Story reference: **Bella describes the local attractions in Easton including watching a boxing match with Charlie

**Historical Significance: **Harry Jeffra  
(Ignacius Pasquale Guiffi ) was a Baltimore raised boxing champion in the 1930's and 40's. His first title was in 1937 three months after he defeated Jimmy Moran at the fight held in Easton, MD.

**Source: **http:/cyberboxingzone(dot)com/boxing/jeffra-h(dot)htm

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes the image of Alice as he meets her for the first time.

**Historical Significance: **Hair styles from the 1940's Photo #4 Daniela Turudich

**Source: **http:/www(dot)etsy(dot)com/listing/38252778/pif-free-pdf-of-1940s-hairstyles-by


	27. Chapter 27 Doublecross

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process._**

_**A/N, **This entire chapter is from Charlie's point of view, his mind isn't always the nicest place to be so just keep that in mind. He's a hardened soldier of war. Strap on a seat belt, here we go…_

_

* * *

_

**Double-cross  
**

The early dawn light barely pierced the edge of the horizon as we approached the drop site at Hanslope Park. A nervous energy pulsed through my veins. I struggled to keep my mind on the task at hand and not the vehicle that I prayed was traveling safely north to Gourrick. Despite my resolution two years ago to disavow any acknowledgement of my daughter, it was moments like this that made me curse the day she found entrance into the OSS. My exterior was as hard as granite; I was a decorated soldier and a Colonel in the US Army. Inside, however, I was a widower, a man of flesh and blood and damn it, I _was_ a father. My hand twitched nervously remembering the warmth of Bella's frail bones within my grasp. She was thin and weak, but her eyes held a fire that I hadn't seen in nearly a year. She was protected and loved within the adoring gaze of her husband.

As much as I hated to admit it, Edward was good for Bella. She had always been a handful as a child, damn willful and pigheaded. _Wonder where she got that trait? _Yes, she was more like me than I wanted to consider. That boy had recognized it and had somehow managed to tame her. They were good for each another, though I would never admit that out loud.

Edward was a menace when he arrived, pure and simple. I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole. He wanted entrance into my program, and his records backed up his reported talents. I didn't like him from the start. Not because he wasn't every bit as good as his records described, but because I found him to be wild and irresponsible. He was too anxious for glory. Not praise per se, but rather for valor. In intelligence, I needed men who thought first and _then_ acted with their gut. Recklessness would only get a man, and those around him, killed.

A hard sigh escaped me as I remembered my decision to put the two of them together. It was a decision that I would pay for dearly, but I couldn't place the blame on anyone else. The decision was mine, and mine alone. Necessity had dictated the events surrounding my decision. Two of my operatives had been found murdered by the Sicherheitsdienst. Their mutilated bodies were buried in a shallow grave not far from the drop. They were making their way back to headquarters in a dummy Packard when they'd been attacked. Even though the intelligence had already been dropped, I had no idea what, if any, information had been obtained from the operatives before their brutal deaths. At the time there wasn't much of an opportunity to dwell on it. I was in the middle of damage control. The operatives' murders had left me a team short with another drop looming in thirty-six hours. The next set of poor brave souls was about to be drawn up into the frightening web of the enemy.

Espionage was dangerous; all my operatives knew that when they joined. I sighed and pursed my lips as the staff sergeant approached my desk and give me the afternoon debrief. He confidently informed me that the trainees were fully ready to step up. I nodded and glanced down, nearly choking when I saw the name that appeared at the top of the list.

_Isabella Dwyer_

The day had finally come when I had to send my only daughter off on a mission and directly into the jaws of peril. The mouth of the enemy would be at her throat and who would I be sending along with her, to keep her safe? To protect her as if she was his own? I looked down at the paper and read the name just below Bella's.

_God damn-it all to hell! Edward Fucking Masen._

The most unreliable, reckless, and self endangered man in my charge. I nearly swallowed my own tongue. _Christ!_ How was I ever going to let her go? I wanted to stomp and swear and put my fist through the God damned wall, but all I saw before me was the bewildered eyes of Staff Sergeant Gray. Heavy breaths filled my lungs and sooner than I could convince myself to change the order on the list, Bella's words came back to me.

"_Winning this war is more important than any single human life, even my own."_

The car slowed to take the last turn north. When my memories left me and I came back to the present, I began to acknowledge the solemn fact that Bella had sacrificed herself more than once for this war. She'd left the security of the States and followed me to London. She'd entered intelligence. She'd not only nearly lost her own life, but unbeknownst to me, she also risked the life of my unborn granddaughter. I shuddered as my recurring nightmare again haunted my mind—Bella dying alone in a hospital bed. My only solace was that she was safe now; or at least as safe as one could be while still on this side of the pond. She was on her way home with her husband by her side. I'd done everything I could to get them out of here and back to the States where they could be safe. I closed my eyes and gave up a silent prayer for my daughter, my son-in-law and my granddaughter.

_Stay safe, and take care of each other…give me something to come home to._

I tucked the last thoughts of my family into the far back corner of my mind as the vehicle slowed at the entrance of the compound. Four cars stopped and the echo of slammed doors ricocheted across the common. A single solider emerged, saw my rank and halted to salute me.

"Colonel Swan, sir?"

I returned his salute and nodded. A glance at my watch told me it was zero seven hundred. I was anxious for news from the 8th, something, _anything_ that would affirm that the night passed without incident. I prayed for confirmation that Bella and Edward were safely on their way but I also knew that no such news would reach me for hours. No, now was the time to focus on the matter at hand.

_Rooting out that damn mole._

I'd be damned if I didn't take care of this living piece of shit myself. How _dare_ they infiltrate my house, halt my mission and live to tell about it. I was going to end this, _personally._

No one in Bletchley Park knew in advance that I was coming. As a result they were unprepared to send someone who could provide a formal briefing. The young officer did his best to update me on the current progress of messages that were intercepted over the last two days and where they stood in the process of decryption and verification. The soldier went on for over twenty minutes explaining the complexities of cribs, double scramblers and the electromagnetic settings of the enigma machine. When I turned to squint into the sun, the soldier took this as an opportunity to extol his knowledge of the basic principles of the turing bombes. Frankly, I didn't give a shit how it worked, so long as it _did_ work and we got the information we needed. Right now we needed intelligence on their next movements, their strategy, their supply routes, their casualty reports, their food stores, anything that would help us know what they were planning next. War was hell, and I was not above abusing any advantage I had to shut down the enemy. It didn't matter what it cost. A sacrifice today would save thousands, if not millions, of lives by cutting off the enemy and not allowing the war to drag on for another five years.

_God forbid._

Between my own mechanizations and the ramblings of my morning shadow, an hour had passed with no sign of additional company. We were clearly visible, as was the intention of our position in the courtyard. I didn't really expect the mole to drive right up with his pistol waving out of the side of the sedan. No, we weren't fighting the mafia in the middle of Chicago. A sharp shooter with a sniper's rifle was a more likely possibility. The area had been swept, security details were posted within a five mile radius. Still, I expected someone, or something, to make an appearance this morning. I was confident in Bella's analysis. This _was_ personal. Someone was gunning for me, and at the moment, I couldn't have been more out in the open if I had painted a red and white bull's-eye on the back of my uniform and yelled Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free. I sighed and checked my watch again.

_8:25_

No, no one was coming, at least not today. Either they didn't take the bait or someone tipped them off. _Damn-it!_

Resolving to fight again another day, I climbed back into my sedan with my driver and managed a frustrated sigh as we made the twenty minute drive to Station X, Bletchley Park.

In Bletchley, I met briefly with Alan Turing, the lead mathematician on the program. He was a quiet man who seemed to prefer the inner workings of his mind over human interaction. I spent some time observing the correspondence between huts before deciding that I'd had enough horse shit for one day and was heading back to ETOUSA. It was nearly ten as I walked back through the main building toward my car. Four armed soldiers followed me out. One held the door as I leaned forward to climb inside. I was hungry and tired and ready to close my eyes for just a little while along the trip back to London. The soldier was about to shut the door behind me when another young male voice called out.

"Sir, I have an incoming message for you."

_These are never any damn good. Something must have gone wrong last night._

Despite the cold November wind, the shiver I felt run down my spine was not over the temperature. Once more I tried to push away the unnerving thoughts running through my mind. This was not a time for fear.

"I'll take it to read in the car."

I followed the young captain back to the entrance of the main building. The click of our boots reverberated along the corridor as we made our way to the first room on the left. It was a secure SCIF for debriefing. Once the door was securely locked behind me, the captain turned to the desk, unlocked the combination and placed a large manila envelope in my hands.

"This came directly from ETOUSA, sir. Marked classified and urgent."

I nodded taking the envelope from him and placing it under my arm. After dismissing the captain, I turned and plodded back toward my car. My mind filled with questions over the envelope's contents; everything from the best to worst case scenario began to flash through my mind like a movie reel. I stepped into the sunlight, lifted my sidehat and lowered my head to secure it in place. It was an action so simple, so common; I'd performed it thousands of times throughout my career. As my fingers pulled the fabric down over the back of my skull, I heard a click. Not like the cocking of a gun, it was an ordinary metal click. It should have been followed by the sound of an engine roar. I expected to hear the mechanics of gasoline igniting, pistons turning, and timing belts whirring. I heard nothing. My eyes glanced up from the ground. I saw the four sedans of my entourage waiting for me, and in the next instant, everything was gone.

_Gone._

My feet were no longer touching the ground. My back ached, my ears rang, and heat so intense burned my eyelashes from my eyes and the hairs inside my nose. _Fire, everywhere. _I saw rather than heard what used to be my vehicle slam back down to the earth no more than sixty yards from where I lay. The stone front of the main building took the impact of the blast; windows lay in shattered ruin. People were running and screaming around me. I couldn't hear a damn thing. All I could focus on were the burning vehicles before me and the five boys inside that, I knew with every fiber of my being, were now dead.

My eyes shut, blinking out the smoke and the scene in front of me, but the smell couldn't be shut off so easily. I had seen men die before, men that had been entrusted to my care, yet somehow that had a distance to it. It was war, they followed orders, and sometimes, the enemy won. This, however, wasn't the battlefront; it was personal. They were coming after me directly and five boys just paid for it with their lives. _Another five sons to bury; another five lives to carry on my soul. _ I clenched my jaw and forced my eyes open. I would remember this horror in vivid detail. I would commit their last moments on earth to my memory and sear them into my brain. I would call it up and stoke the flame of their last moments on earth right before I put a bullet in that God damned mole.

oo!OO!oo

Six hours later my hands still shook and my ears still rung. I was sitting in a new car riding back to ETOUSA. The now discolored manila envelope laid unopened on my lap. I needed a scotch; I settled for another smoke. One lengthy inhale became another and another until I had chained three in a row. The car's ashtray had filled swiftly and the smell of smoke billowed throughout the backseat. The ringing in my ears was a little better, my nerves were not. With a sigh of resignation, I picked up the envelope and pulled out its contents.

CONFIDENTIAL

Operation Silver Leaf

De-brief collected from Group Captain, Frederic Winterbotham.

Prepared by Team No. 11

Signal Section

Headquarters, Con Z

November 12, 1944

Captain Winterbotham: Received a call at 0230 this morning reporting activity at the 8th, one angel, one casualty. Arrived at O430; two hours after the reported activity. The angel was a civilian, the casualty was an operative. Knife wound to the neck, not expected to be fatal. Took aggressor into military custody; American operative/double. Will release custody to Colonel Swan at ETOUSA.

I closed my eyes crushing the paper within my hand.

_Who the hell was the casualty, Frederic?_

My mind teetered over thoughts of Edward. He would risk everything for Bella; I knew that. He would be in the line of fire first before he'd ever let someone get near her. No, it was unlikely that Bella had been hurt, but if it was Edward, why would they call Frederic, why not call me?

_Private Seth Winterbotham. _

The nausea in the pit of my stomach grew. I fought against it, not wanting to admit that a friend and colleague's son was hurt under my command. I slammed my fist against the armrest. The action raised the eyes of my driver at me in the rear view mirror. He quickly returned them to the road ignoring my outburst.

oo!OO!oo

I thought I'd seen everything…I was wrong. I stared stoically at the man handcuffed to a metal chair in an interior room of the basement of headquarters. The lone light above his head cast an eerie glow on his ice blue eyes. He glowered back at me, full of contempt for my uniform and the nation behind it. An air of bravado covered him, but it was an act. He still feared for his life, and I knew it.

_Hell, we all did._

I found it difficult to reconcile the acts of treason with the man before me. He had not gone unnoticed within my command. He was good at what he did. He was an expert in reconnaissance but looked and acted the part of an All-American doughboy. He laughed and joked with the other men, he smoked and cursed and spat and whistled at every doll face that passed him. I even laughed at the "asshole" that Bella had once thrown in his direction. He deserved it. The crass comment that he made toward my secretary, as she and Bella walked toward the office, could have landed him in the brig.

"You'll never get us all," he spat. "We live and breathe within you."

I placed my hands on the table and leaned right into his face. He didn't flinch. His cold blue eyes stared defiantly into mine.

"I don't remember giving you permission to speak."

James smirked. "I don't take orders from you. I _never _did."

He was poking me hard, but I was not about to give this piece of shit the satisfaction.

"But. You. Do. _James_," I said with a slow, deep, unemotional command. "You're breathing now, because I _let _you. You **flinch**," I shouted the word into his face causing him to pull back a fraction, "because I frighten you. You're caged, because _I've got you_."

James recovered himself and lifted his chin with pure hate in his eyes. "You might as well kill me now; you'll never get anything out of me."

I laughed. "Oh, I don't need you to talk to get what I want. You're a liability, James, can't you see that? They don't know if you're talking to me or if you're still loyal to them. I just need to make sure they know you're alive, and when they find you, they'll kill you for me. Then I will kill them. You just need to sit and wait for them to find you."

James' eyes widened for just a second. He knew it. They would do it without a second thought. He was no more than a foot soldier to them…expendable. I stood and turned ready to allow him to stew on my words for the night.

"I may not have succeeded last night but others behind me will," he called out to me as I reached for the door. "They'll kill your youth and spit in the empty wombs of your women."

He was speaking metaphorically; spouting the propaganda filth that he had been brainwashed with. I knew that. I knew it, but my body reacted anyway. My mind flashed to Bella and the loss she carried. I saw her empty womb; her arms left with nothing to cradle but herself, her lost daughter. _My granddaughter._ In an instant I flew back at James. I felt the flesh of his neck and squeezed it unmercifully in my grasp. With every ounce of fury within me begging for release, I slammed James, still handcuffed to his chair, back against the concrete floor. The chair made a deafening bang and James lost both his breath and half of his senses as his body echoed the crashing chair.

"I'd cut out half your tongue and let you bleed out for days, but I don't want to soil this country's ground with your filth. You will die by your brother's hand, and once you're dead, I'll let every one of my operatives piss on you. Then we'll burn you and mix your ash with gunpowder. Your seared flesh and bone will be flush against every bullet that slices through the hearts of your comrades." I'd had enough of this shit for one day. I released James' throat, got up, and walked back to the door.

"_Sleep well, James."_

After leaving James for the night, I gave express orders to Captain Winterbotham's guards that no one was to know who James was or what they were doing here. I needed James' identity as a double to remain concealed for as long as possible. It was the key to using him to lure the mole out of hiding.

oo!OO!oo

By ten-hundred the following morning, I'd had three cups of coffee and was downing my fourth. A mountain of papers was uncharacteristically spread across my desk. Every operative was frozen; every mission would remain on hold, under orders from General Eisenhower, until I could catch the mole.

I needed to draw them out and James was my only available bait. My frustration at the lack of a solid plan came out in smokes and coffee. Victoria was running ragged as I barked orders at her. She timidly approached my office door,

"Call for you, sir, it's the general."

She didn't have to say which one, I already knew.

_Perfect, just fucking perfect._

I picked up the receiver on my desk and screwed my eyes shut; hoping to offer a confident and well collected voice.

_Hell, if I couldn't offer him a solution, at least I could sound like I knew what the hell I was doing._

"Good morning, sir."

"_Charlie, it's good to hear your voice. I'm glad you're okay."_

"I'm fine, thank you, sir."

"_Charlie, I don't have to tell you that this mess with your little problem is fucking up my operation. I need it fixed and I need it fixed, __now__. And I don't want any more of this shit like what happened yesterday. I'm not sending any more fucking flags home over this. Are we clear?"_

"Yes, sir."

"_Good. Now, I want a plan to clean up this shit in my hands by the morning. Whatever you need to get this done, you've got it." _

"Thank you, sir. You'll have the plan by morning."

The general didn't reply. The only sound I heard was the click at the other end of the line. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and groaned. James was the key, but what was the best way to use him and where? Hanslope? Bletchley Park? The 8th? ETOUSA? All of the alternatives had problems, control factors, and innocents to consider. In the end I decided it would be Bletchley Park. The mole had already been there once when they set the bomb. I could control things better there than in ETOUSA and hopefully there would only be a few casualties if things went bad. I shouted to Victoria for some lunch and another cup of coffee, then set down to work.

Jasper arrived at my office about an hour later. I was anxious for news about Bella, but I couldn't risk de-briefing him in my office. Together we made our way to the basement to a room adjacent to James'. Jasper filled in the missing pieces of the encounter with James at the 8th, but it was his confirmation that Bella and Edward were unscathed that finally eased my frayed nerves. I was comforted by the fact that both of them were safely aboard the _ghost._ Finally, we turned the conversation to the matter at hand and I filled Jasper in on my plans to date…I was pairing him with James.

Jasper was about to come undone. I could read his mind by watching the changing expressions filtering across his face. Shock, anger, hurt, disgust.

"Sir, are you asking me to team up with the man who slit my partner's throat?"

Jasper would just have to swallow his anger and do his damn job.

"Welcome to intelligence, son. That's _exactly_ what you're going to do."

James would be unarmed but that wouldn't make him any less dangerous. Jasper would have to be on guard at all times. I was sending them on a false mission together to draw out the mole. When they would go to make a phony pickup at Bletchley Park, I expected the mole to go after James as a traitor. He was the lamb I would be offering for the slaughter. Now, I just had to let it be known that the drops were continuing and that James was Jasper's new partner.

For the remainder of the afternoon, I worked on the communications and logistics for the next round of drops. They would all carry phony information, but no one beside me and General Eisenhower would know that. It was well after eight by the time I finished for the evening. I sat back in my chair, looking over the plans and taking a few moments to reconcile it all in my mind.

_We were going to get this son of a bitch even if it killed me._

By morning all of the orders were ready. I personally documented the plan and put the information in the general's hands. Shortly after I returned to my office, Victoria appeared at my door holding a telegram in her hands. I was confused by her posture, her head hung low. She looked almost…_disappointed. _She walked silently forward and laid the telegram in my hand before turning quickly to go back to her work.

Army Message Received November 14, 1944

This C in C message has been received from Dr. Carlisle Cullen 8th Convalescent Hospital, Stoneleigh Park – Message Begins –

Colonel Swan, I regret to inform you of a disappointing development surrounding Mrs. Masen's rehabilitation. She has recently developed a condition known most commonly as Red Flame. I regret that the recommended form of treatment is immediate amputation. As always, you have my word that we will continue to do all we can for her. – Message ends –

What the - ? By this point, Bella was half way across the Atlantic. Why was Carlisle continuing to send me telegrams? To maintain the ruse that she was at the 8th? And what in God's name is Red Flame? _Red Flame…_

I rubbed my temples trying to wrack my brain for the last time I had heard that phrase. How could it relate to Carlisle? What was a Red Flame? I needed more coffee. My headache was growing.

"Victoria!" I shouted.

She appeared in my doorway and I held up my empty coffee cup at her. Her red hair flew about her shoulders as she nodded toward my request. I froze, my coffee cup still in mid air as Victoria's heels clattered against the linoleum.

Red Flame…Not a what, a who. Shhhhit! _Victoria._

This was Bella's message. It was routed through Carlisle, because she knew she couldn't send it directly to me. _She_ had called Victoria a red flame. I threw the telegram in my desk drawer and spent the remainder of the morning reworking the entire plan with the general. By early afternoon I was back in my office. I was ready for that cup of coffee now and called in my would-be secretary.

"Victoria."

oo!OO!oo

At zero seven-hundred the following morning, I was in a car traveling north to Bletchley Park. Victoria sat behind me in the back seat. Through the rear view I could see her looking out the window while anxiously clutching the end of her borrowed coat. My mind struggled with warring emotions. I needed to treat her just as I would have fourteen hours earlier. I reached back and patted Victoria's knee reassuringly but not tenderly.

"Don't worry, Victoria. I won't leave your side."

_And I wouldn't._

Victoria turned back from the window, meeting my eyes in the rear view mirror with a small smile. Any other day, any other time, I would have taken the expression as one of concern layered with her faith in my ability to protect her. Today, I saw her for what she was, the lowest form of life I'd ever encountered, a traitor, _a mole_. She was someone who prayed on a man's humanity in order to take it with her on the road to Hell. She was not going to win, not today.

Victoria had not been eager to step up when I asked for her assistance yesterday. She tried to come up with plausible excuses, but I covered them all.

_"Sir, I don't know anything about intelligence."_

"_You don't have to; all I need is for you to be seen next to me. That will be enough to draw them out."_

_ "But, sir, I don't look anything like Bella."_

"_I realize that, but we'll give you a wig to hide your hair. I need a woman and don't have another female operative."_

"_Sir, I'm afraid."_

"_Victoria," I said as gently as I could without becoming physically ill. "I know this is frightening, but you can do this. I'll be by your side the entire time. This will work; they're looking for Bella and Edward. If the enemy finds them at Bletchley, they'll take the opportunity to take them out. Once they're exposed, we'll finish them. We'll finish this, Victoria."_

_I could see the wheels turning in her head as she debated her response. If she mentioned Carlisle's telegram, or the enemy knowing she was at the 8__th__, I'd immediately have her. As my personal secretary, she was the only one who received my incoming telegrams. If the enemy was tipped off about Bella's condition at the 8__th__, she was the one who would be held responsible. _

"_Sir—," she tried again, but I cut her off quickly._

"_Victoria, this operation needs you. Bella needs you. Your _country_ needs you." _

_I played on the words that I hoped would set her off. Victoria, if nothing else, was excellent at masking her emotions. She didn't care about Bella; she wanted her dead. She didn't care about her country; she was a traitor. Victoria only wanted a shot at ending the operation. I wondered how far she would go. The trip to Bletchley would give her two hours alone with me and no driver. I informed her that we would be traveling as Edward and Bella. No entourage, just one Packard as they would when going on a drop. In the end, her desire to take me out won. _

I drove with one eye on the road and the other on Victoria. I had done everything possible to ensure she was unarmed today, but nothing was failsafe. Above all, I knew how foolish it would be to underestimate the enemy.

Victoria had stayed in my quarters last night. I wouldn't allow her out of my sight once she had agreed to impersonate Bella. As ridiculous as it sounded in my own ears, I told her that she needed some training before the mission. It was a laughable thought, but it gave me an excuse to keep her sequestered for the evening. Everything would go to hell in a hand basket if she was able to tip anyone off about our plans.

Earlier this morning we rode to ETOUSA together.

_Victoria was wearing one of Bella's schoolgirl dresses as if she was continuing Bella's cover as Siobhan's granddaughter. Once we reached the office I pulled out a brunette wig and handed it to Victoria. I lifted my chin to indicate to her that she should make use of the mirror I laid on the desk in my office. Ten minutes later she emerged as a brunette. I tried to control the vomit threatening to lurch forward. Instead, I choked on my coffee._

"_I guess I'm not quite a dead ringer for Bella, huh?" She smirked._

_I smiled politely and taped, Victoria lightly on the shoulder._

_Not_ _yet__, but you're going to be._

_I reached behind me and pulled a dress coat out of a bag and handed it to Victoria. She grimaced and took it reluctantly. I imagined she had a weapon in her coat that she had planned to take with her. My right arm extended motioning her toward the door. Victoria hesitated, looking toward her desk behind me. _

"_I just need to get something from my purse."_

"_What?"_

"_Some courage."_

_I laughed a little at that. It was almost as if she was my trusted secretary again. Victoria strode purposefully forward in an attempt to go around me and get to her purse. I grabbed her arm as I reached for the inside pocket of my chauffeur's jacket. Victoria froze. My hand emerged slowly from behind the tweed fabric and I handed her my own flask._

"_Take mine. We need to get going."_

The graveled, circular drive of the entrance to Bletchley crunched under the Packard's tires. My eyes roamed the burnt stone and patched windows of the main building before us. Although there had been obvious efforts to repair the damage done by the bombing, the black and burnt out landscape was all the reminder I needed of those boys.

_You will not have died in vain._

I grabbed the chauffeur's cap from the seat bench beside me and pulled it tight against my head. The action was intended to hide as much of my deep brown hair as possible. Masen's was copper colored. Edward was also taller and thinner than I was. Together, Victoria and I were a rather poor impersonation of my daughter and son-in-law, but it just had to be enough to catch a traitor's eye from a distance.

The car door slammed closed behind me and I scrambled around to open Victoria's door. I reached out and took her long slender fingers in mine. My grasp tightened swiftly. I could almost feel her knuckles grinding over top of one another. Victoria winced, and I immediately loosened my grip. Her shapely bare leg jutted out from the car and onto the gravel beside me. In one graceful move, she was up on her feet and pulled tightly against my side. Out of pure instinct, or perhaps, self preservation, my hand immediately covered the service arm behind my right coat pocket.

I felt like a lame man. My right hand was pressed over my gun only giving me the freedom of use of my left hand. I could not allow Victoria nor the enemy who had set the car bomb, to get the jump on me. My eyes scanned the surrounding grounds. It was early morning and no one was about yet. I let go of Victoria's hand and slammed the car door shut. The echo announced our arrival; the proverbial gauntlet had been thrown.

"We're going to walk across the common to hut 6. Just stay by my side and everything will be fine," I told her.

Victoria nodded solemnly and huddled close to my side just as she was directed. I sensed that the action was not taken because she felt more secure by my side. Rather, if she was going to have to impersonate Bella, she preferred that the assassin have no decision to make over taking out her or me. Our proximity would ensure that both of us would be targeted simultaneously. _Smart girl. _Victoria's heels clicked across the scattered stones. The uneven ground caused her to pay a little more attention to her footing than her surroundings. A door opened at one of the buildings at the far end of the common. Victoria and I both paused upon seeing the movement. Looking up, I focused on two blond men emerging from the building. The first was tall and lean. He was clearly in charge, as I noticed him practically dragging the other through the doorway. The second man's hands were clasped together in front of him, as if in prayer.

"James," Victoria quietly called.

The sound was no more than a quiet utterance of the word and yet the wind must have carried it clearly to the ears of the men who stood across the common. They froze not fifty yards from us. James' head snapped up at the sound of his name, and for a fraction of a second, I swore I saw his eyes narrow at Victoria. He spun, thrusting his clasped hands like a baseball bat into Jasper's stomach. The recoil sent Jasper flailing backwards. James took the opportunity to shove Jasper with all of his might; knocking the off balance private to the ground. In one swift move James lunged and pulled Jasper's service arm from its holster. With eyes as deadly as night he raised the gun and shot. The loud crack of the gun echoed off the buildings around us. A fraction of a second later, I heard a painful scream beside me. Victoria slumped as the bullet tore through her chest. She took a step forward raising an arm toward James before collapsing to the ground. My hand immediately grasped my service arm, but before I could pull it from its holder another resounding crack echoed across the common. Pain jolted through my chest and shot through my body. I could barely feel my arm, but I heard my gun clang to the ground as it slipped from my grasp. Staggered and stunned, I looked up to find that it wasn't James who had shot me. James was frozen, the gun still in hand as he stared across the grounds at Victoria who was lying a small distance in front of me. The brown wig she wore had slipped from her hair when she fell and Victoria's telltale red locks now flamed like the rising sun.

"Victoria!" James' painful cry sounded across the lawn.

My knees gave way as the pain in my chest pounded like a beating drum. The throng belted out in waves down my arm and across my fingertips.

_I needed to find my God damn gun. _

I could hear everything around me. Footsteps pounded against the gravel. Not one, but two men were running in my direction. James was screaming like a madman. My vision blurred from blinking back the shock and scorching pain of my wound. My fingers traced the stones around me searching frantically for the gun. I heard James cry out again as he sunk to the ground before Victoria. My eyes were on him as my fingers blindly searched for my gun. James' hands quickly roamed over Victoria, looking for something, a sign of life? Perhaps, some intelligence information? A whispered goodbye? It didn't make sense, but at the moment, not much did. I struggled forward inching my way along the stones and padding the uneven surface beneath me. I quickly turned from him to try and spot the gun. Another strangled moan echoed loudly. My eyes followed the sound to James as he clutched Victoria's unresponsive shoulders. I could see his bloody hands as released her. Pure hatred filled his eyes. He was close enough that I could see his nostrils as they flared at me.

Jasper pounded towards us, now no more than thirty feet behind. He was running with a raised gun in his hand. Stabs of pain ripped through me as my fingers finally found the metal object they'd been searching for. My hand, slick with blood, fumbled to right the weapon in my grasp. With one last cry of agony I sat up, flung the gun toward Jasper and shot. Two cracks echoed nearly simultaneously in my ears. The bullets whizzed through the air, striking their marks. Two men fell.

Jasper's eyes met mine for a brief moment widened in shock, just before a sound behind him forced him to turn in its direction. Simultaneously, James took one last staggered step forward before collapsing over top of me. His body trembled once and then he was still. I saw the second mole, the one who Jasper never saw coming, collapse to the ground in the distance behind him.

I began dragging in ragged breaths. The pain in my chest was causing my vision to darken in the corners of my eyes. It didn't matter. I was a satisfied man. A small smile crept up my face as I faded into the dirt.

_Rest easy, my boys, three less of the God damned enemy will be dreaming of victory tonight._

* * *

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 27 Double Cross  
**

**Story reference: **Charlie describes the young soldier debriefing him in Hanslope

**Historical Significance: **Information on the inner workings of decryption at Bletchley during WWII and the Enigma Machine

**Source: **http:/www(dot)matematiksider(dot)dk/enigma_eng(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Charlie describes the vision of a pistol waving member of the Chicago mafia

**Historical Significance: **The mafia was active in Chicago Pre WWII. In 1943 A federal grand jury indicted Chicago Mafia leadership for extortion relating to the show business industry.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)onewal(dot)com/maf-chr4(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Charlie describes the thoughts of a sniper taking him out during the trap he set to catch the mole

**Historical Significance: **Typical World War II-era sniper rifles were generally standard-issue battle rifles, selected for accuracy, with a 2.5x or 3x telescopic sight

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Sniper_rifle

* * *

**Story reference: **Charlie describes being out in the open calling for snipers to 'come and get him'

**Historical Significance: **This is a catchphrase used in the children's game hide and seek to indicate that players who are hiding can come out into the open without losing the game

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Olly_olly_oxen_free

* * *

**Story reference: **Charlie describes his conversations with Alan Turing after failing to draw out the mole at Hanslope.

**Historical Significance:** History on Bletchley Park including the head mathematician, Alan Turing

**Source: **www(dot)saak(dot)nl/(dot)(dot)(dot)/bletchly%20park(dot)htm

* * *

**A/N:** There were lots of twists and turns with this chapter so I'm posting my chapter notes as a seperate story/outtake. If you read that and have more questions, just let me know and I'll do my best to answer them for you.

Thank you for reading and let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	28. Chapter 28 Christmas 1944

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process. _**

_**A/N, **If you have any questions about the last chapter please check out the **The Last Breath Extras** posted as a separate story. It will give you some insight on the actions of Victoria, James and the third mole. The **Banner for this chapter** can be found at: _http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0000h27b. It shows cutie Serena and Santa Emmett.

_P.S. Thank you to all my reviewers and especially, youdon'tknowme. I can't reply to your lovely reviews if you're not signed in, but I wanted you to know I appreciate them very much._

* * *

**Christmas 1944**

My hands were red and sore, my back ached, and my shoulders were stiff from exertion. Yet the thundering crack and the vibration of the axe against my fingertips was a welcome distraction from my wait. I looked up toward the cabin as light snow flew around my face like bees swarming a hive. The satisfying curl of smoke that rose from the stone chimney was my reward for hours of backbreaking work with this dull, worn out axe. I picked up my scarf that had unwound itself from my chin and clumsily whipped it back into place.

_The wood's not going to split itself, Edward. Pick up the pace; you've got girls to keep warm tonight._

My mental musing was replaced by the loud thwack of the axe against a fresh log. The work was hard but the exercise kept my insides warm despite the frigid temperatures. The repetitive work allowed my mind to wander while my ears strained, listening in anticipation of the crunching of tires against gravel. My folks were on their way. Their long wait to meet their granddaughter was almost over. My mother could barely contain her composure when "Gordie Hawkins" had called again to arrange a gathering of old friends just before the Christmas holiday. I wanted to call her sooner and have her drive right down to Easton for a visit, but I knew it wasn't safe. The "all clear" continued to elude our conversations with the OSS each time we made our daily call.

News of Bella's father was also sparse. Our contacts stonewalled each question with answers like "in-hand," "managed" and "secure." The lack of information was slowly driving Bella mad. There would be no phone calls or letters from her father. The risk was too great for all of us. Alice and I tried distracting her with nightly poker games and Serena's care. There was much to learn, _and buy_, for an infant. Bella and Alice traveled far out of town on their shopping expeditions to avoid any chance of Bella being recognized locally. I missed Bella while she was gone, and the nerves never quite subsided when she was away for long periods, but the time apart also gave me an opportunity to get to know my daughter. It was surprisingly easy to fall in love with a tiny, fifteen pound, slobbering bundle. In less than a week, I knew her laughs, her cries, her ticklish places and the sweetness of her breath as she napped on my shoulder. Bella was happy, but I wished she had been able to find the same blissful contentment that washed over me. A lot of her anxiety revolved around the status of her father, but deep down, I knew she worried for our safety. Aside from the moments of sheer joy brought by Serena, Bella's memories of the meeting with the OSS agent in Columbus kept her on edge.

It wasn't that I _didn't_ worry, because I did. I was always aware of our surroundings, our paths and departure times when leaving Alice's home were always varied. There were extra precautions about weapons, escape routes, cash on hand. Although I considered these things necessary, deep down I felt that an attack on former operatives, living undercover, all the way back in the US was, at worst, unlikely.

Finally, at the end of the second week of December, our daily call for updates announced an OSS _conditional clear_. A conditional clear wouldn't give us the freedom to resume our identities, but it did allow us to travel more freely. It wasn't everything I'd hoped for, but I would take it nonetheless. The news brought along with it a realization that we couldn't stay with Alice forever. We needed a cover for Mr. and Mrs. _Cullen _and their newborn daughter. That afternoon we began planning for our eventual departure from Easton. The OSS was assigning me to a planning manager position at the Philadelphia Naval Yard. I was to begin shortly after the start of the New Year. Alice was more than disappointed that we wouldn't remain her house guests forever. She truly loved Bella like a sister and Serena as her own. Our sudden departure would leave her stung and probably lonely as well.

Alice, however, had other plans. The energetic woman she is continued to surprise me. Instead of brooding over our imminent departure, she began planning. Alice was nearing the start of her school's Christmas vacation, and one evening she informed Bella and me that nothing less than an old fashioned Christmas would do for Serena's first holiday. She insisted that we give our tiny baby a _real_ Christmas, one that included Santa and presents and a popcorn and cranberry covered tree. My smile grew more pronounced as I imagined my father proudly bouncing Serena on his knee. He would be wearing a white beard and red velvet costume. Dad had played Santa in our church's annual Christmas pageant ever since Riley and I were in grade school. I'd hoped the costume wasn't moth eaten and still fit. Despite Bella's initial protests that all of this wasn't necessary, she too eventually succumbed to her friend's infectious exuberance. Before long we had arranged a weeklong stay at her family's cabin in the seclusion of the Pennsylvania Poconos.

A half cord of wood had been laid out in neat rows along the back porch. The large store of logs had slowly been turned into a pile of firewood when my stomach reminded me of its presence. I looked up once more from my duties, but only heard the sounds of nature quietly existing around me. No sound of an approaching car came to quell my nerves. Despite my disappointment, I knew I'd had enough exercise for the morning and my distraction would now have to come from Bella and Serena.

_I hope she's up from her morning nap._

I pulled open the cabin's rickety kitchen door and lumbered in through the doorway. A large bundle of firewood was cradled in my arms. Before I had even made it over to the hearth, a wave of warm scented cinnamon hit me like a sweet smelling battering ram. Scanning the room in search of the source of the wonderful aroma, I saw my wife standing at the sink with an apron tied neatly around her waist. I quickly dropped off my load near the stone hearth. My haste caused a series of loud thuds as the logs rumbled against the wood floor. Soon after, I was off like a shot in search of my wife. I strolled up behind her and wrapped my arms tightly about her, trapping her against my chest. Bella jumped when I startled her but began screeching madly when I pressed my ice cold face against her warm, bare neckline.

"You can cook?" I asked, ignoring her attempts to swat me and my icy skin away. "I had no idea you were domestic, love," I stated rather sarcastically with a mischievous grin plastered across my face.

Bella swatted me again.

"Nope, I plan on allowing you and our daughter to starve."

I refused to allow her snarky remark to go unanswered. My smile grew wider as I turned Bella in my arms and purposefully grabbed her face allowing my ice cold fingers to weave their way along the delicate skin of Bella's neck. She shuddered in my arms as my lips pressed once more to hers. It was indiscernible to me whether her shiver was from my chill or her anticipation. The rapid rise and fall of her chest as we broke apart suggested the latter.

Bella's smile grew even wider. Her eyes flashed and her eyebrows hefted suggestively.

"No, I can't really cook, but I can try."

Her words followed my question from a few moments earlier, but her actions were completely on a different track. Bella's hand traced lightly along my jaw and down my chest until she found the leather belt holding up my trousers. She jerked it once, pulling me to her. Her chest was now flush against mine as my mind clouded with a lustful haze. Once more my wife provided a playful smirk; her eyes said it all.

_Gotcha back, didn't I?_

"Everything I know I learned from Alice," she continued innocently. "Who better to bail me out when I make a disaster out of these cookies?" She laughed, motioning toward Alice in the den. "Besides, what kind of daughter-in-law would I be if I had nothing sweet to offer your folks when they arrive?"

Her taunting had to come to an end before I decided to throw her over my shoulder and run into the tiny bedroom at the top of the stairs, Alice and my parents be damned.

"You'd be the kind who can't stand on her feet for more than twenty minutes without resting," I admonished.

"I already told her that," Alice shouted out from her spot next to Serena on the floor of the den. "She's too stubborn to listen to anyone."

"The difference, Alice," I started before swinging my arm underneath Bella's legs and carrying her swiftly away, "is that I'm bigger, and I don't take no for an answer."

Bella landed with a humph as I dropped her the final inch or two down to the weathered, plaid davenport.

"Stay," I ordered.

"But—"

"No buts," I fumed. Bella began to protest again, but I quickly grabbed her hips and rolled her toward the back of the couch. With one clean yank, I had untied the bow of her apron and pulled it deftly from around her hips. Bella's eyes widened at my fluid motion and the resounding snap the apron strings made against the air. I leaned forward to kiss her lips. My mouth curved into a wicked grin. "Later," I promised as my whispered words danced on the delicate skin beneath her ear.

I fumbled a bit but managed to tie the apron haphazardly around my waist. Bella couldn't contain her fit of giggles at the sight of me. I spun with flourish acknowledging my ridiculous appearance in the pink, frilly smock. Alice quickly followed Bella's bouts of hysterics, and she too began cackling away.

"All right, all right, enough laughter at my expense." My hands clapped loudly together as I made my way back toward the kitchen. I surveyed my surroundings noting that everything looked pretty much in order.

_This was going to be a snap._

"Edward!" Bella shrieked. "The gingerbread! Get them out of the oven before they burn."

I turned quickly toward the stove and reached out to grab the handle and pull open the oven. Hot, sharp, white pain ran through my fingers as I wrapped them around the oven door.

"Shit!" I screeched

"You need a dishtowel so you don't burn yourself," Bella called out from the den.

_ A little too late with that warning, love._

I tried keeping my blasphemous swears under my breath as I ran cold water from the tap. Seconds later I was pulling the slightly overdone cookies from the oven.

"Alice, aren't you going to help him?" Bella whined. "I don't want my cookies looking like rumpled accordions when he tries to get them off the pan."

I heard Alice sigh.

"You've got it all under control in there don't you, Edward?" Alice's sweet syrupy voice called from her comfortable place on the rug.

"Absolutely," I lied.

"_Alice!" _Bella shouted this time. "I worked hard on those cookies, and I don't want them ruined."

"Fine," she grumbled.

Creaking floorboards announced Alice's entrance as she made her way from the den to the kitchen. I saw her freeze as she surveyed the results of my labor only to find exactly what Bella had feared. Using a fork I had pried two of her cookies from the baking pan only to have them scrunch up so they resembled nothing of the round masterpieces they once were. Alice's eyes grew wide and she covered her mouth to stifle a hearty laugh. She danced over to the sink and quickly pulled two glasses from the cabinet above her head. After setting them on the counter she opened the icebox and pulled out the milk bottle. Two glasses were poured two ruined cookies were handed out. Alice lifted the glass in one hand and tapped my cookie with hers.

"Cheers," she whispered as she bit into her crumpled cookie and took a slug of milk. "She'll never know."

Setting the glass down on the counter, she rummaged through the drawers until she produced a flat metal utensil that my mother would have called a flipper. With her tool in hand, Alice began deftly freeing the cooled cookies from their metal tomb.

"Thanks, Alice," I whispered.

"Anytime."

Once the cookies were salvaged, we set out to clean and dry the baking pans. I was assigned the chore of washing as due penance for screwing up the first few cookies. It didn't escape my notice that Alice pushed my burnt hand into the soapy bubbles. The makeshift first aid seemed to be another reason for my assignment.

"You'd better take care of her."

I looked up to meet the seriousness in Alice's eyes. She was Bella's mama hawk, protecting her young.

A huge grin covered my face. "You know, for someone so small, you have an awful lot to say when it comes to my wife."

"That's because she was _my_ best friend before she was ever _your_ wife. I'd kill for her." Alice said threateningly.

"Me too." I smirked. _Oh, how little did Alice know…_

"So where does this leave us? Bound by a blood vow to protect her?"

I nodded.

"Yes, you promise to kill me if I hurt her, and I promise to kill anyone who would dare to try. But I'd settle for a handshake over spilling each other's blood. You okay with that?"

I pulled one hand out of the water and wiped it on my apron before extending it toward Alice as a peace offering. Alice paused in mock contemplation before setting down the cookie pan and taking my proffered hand. Before a firm shake could even happen, I reached into the sink with my free hand and smacked a small mountain of bubbles against her pale cheek. Alice's eyes grew wide.

"You ass!"

Her grip on our joined hands tightened, and she jerked me away from the sink. Her other hand reached into the basin to scoop up as many free foamy weapons as her tiny hand could muster. I lifted my free arm to cover my head in defense when a resounding thwack echoed in my ear. My apron was covered in a sudsy mess. I released Alice's hand to pull the wet away from my shirt before I became soaked to the skin. Alice made the most of my momentary distraction by covering both hands in suds and firmly slapping them against my cheeks.

"If I'm an ass, you're a pain in mine!" I growled.

Before long Alice and I were running around the kitchen table dodging soap bubbles and laughing at the foamy mess that now covered the better part of my body, Alice's hair and the tufts of her capped sleeves. The bubbles were literally flying between us when a throat cleared from the kitchen door. There stood my mother loaded with bags of colorfully wrapped presents in her arms and a bewildered look upon her face. I, on the other hand, was drenched, wearing a frilly, pink apron and laughing to the point of tears beside a woman who was not my wife.

"Mom!" I shouted, quickly composing myself.

In seconds the apron was gone and the dishtowel in my hands did a quick mop job to clear the bubbles from my hands. Alice quickly grabbed the cloth and doused the remaining foam invaders from my unruly locks. I left Alice's attentions to grab the bags from my mom and pull her out of the draft from the open door.

"Hello, sweetheart," she called as she pressed her cold lips to my cheek.

I dropped all of her bags on the kitchen table before turning back to find Alice as she finished straightening up. Alice looked down and clasped her hands together. This shy side of her was such a stark contrast to our playful bubble fight from just a few moments earlier.

"Mom, this is Alice Brandon," I said motioning with my arm toward the petite figure across the kitchen. "She's Bella's best friend, my new partner in crime, and Serena's godmother."

Alice's eyes looked up to mine, and I swore I saw a watery edge to the grey blue windows of her lovely eyes. A small smile grew on her lips as she nodded in acknowledgement of our new partnership.

"It's nice to meet you, Alice," my mother acknowledged.

I think my mom expected a "me too"in response, but the emotions within Alice bubbled over and she ran flying across the tiny kitchen and into my mother's arms. My mother staggered slightly off balance but returned Alice's embrace sincerely.

"I'm sorry," Alice mumbled after releasing my mom. "It's just so good to have Bella home again and to know she has a new family who will love her like I do. She missed out on so much growing up without a mom. I love her like a sister, and I'm just happy that she finally has everything she deserves."

Now it was my mom's turn to cry.

"She'll have all of that and more, Alice. I promise." My mom reached over to gently cup my chin in one of her trembling, cold hands. "They both will."

Moments later my father banged through the door with another armload of presents and some luggage in tow. I scrambled over to relieve him of his burdens, but he dropped everything to the ground and instead wrapped me in a bone crunching hug.

"I missed you," he said softly against my shoulder.

"I missed you too, Dad."

"Well, where's this little angel I get to call my own. You can't keep a grandpa from his little princess."

"Take a number, Ed, I was here first," my mother joked.

After making a hasty introduction, Alice excused herself to put on a fresh shirt, and I led my mom and dad toward the den. The fire had settled to a warm blanket that surrounded us as we stepped through the doorway. My smile widened as I took in the sight of my beautiful wife sleeping on the davenport with Serena nestled against her breast. My mother's gasp echoed against the crackling fire.

"Oh, Edward," she cried, moving past me to kneel in front of the angelic pair. Her fingers lightly traced Serena's copper curls. Her free hand covered her mouth and muffled her quiet cry. "She's so beautiful. She's so much like you. I can see it. Oh, sweetheart, I'm so happy for you."

I knelt beside my mom and wrapped my arms around her shoulders before kissing her temple.

"She's worth everything, Mom. Every bit of hell I've been through over the last two years. I'd do it all again if I had to in order to find this kind of happiness. I love them both so much." I leaned forward with my arms still wrapped around my mom to press my lips against Bella's hand. Her gold wedding band glowed in the firelight and her grip tightened around Serena's tiny frame. A cooed sigh of contentment escaped my precious little girl as she nuzzled closer against her mother.

Bella's eyes squinted and then blinked against the sleepy haze that covered her. A broad smile spread across her face as she saw me with my arms around my mother.

"Hey, beautiful," I called, releasing my mom to trace my thumb along Bella's cheek.

"Hi, handsome," she countered. "Hi, mom," she added, smiling at my mother.

"Bella, honey, she's so beautiful."

Bella sat up slowly so as not to wake Serena, then she motioned to my mom to sit beside her and offered Serena's tiny body to my mother's outstretched arms. Tear after tear fell from my mother's cheeks, and I couldn't help but wonder if she was reliving my birth or Riley's. Her eyes met my father's and then closed briefly. No words were said, but I knew she was thanking Riley for seeing us all home for Christmas.

oo!OO!oo

Our Christmas was quiet but quite happy. My mother and Alice were the rulers of the roost when it came to cooking. I listened eagerly while holding Serena on my lap. My mother gathered the girls around her as a ruler holding court. She began instructing Bella and Alice on the techniques of creating mouthwatering stuffing and gravy to accompany the holiday bird. I got more enjoyment out of the interactions between them than actually eating the meal.

On Christmas morning, Serena had more presents than either her mother or I could open. New outfits and toys from Nanny and Pop and Aunt Alice encircled the bottom of our popcorn and cranberry covered tree. I got some new clothes as the ones I'd left in my old room no longer fit. Warm sweaters and shirts were a welcome transition from Army issued khaki button downs and issued trousers. To me, the new apparel signified a new life and a transition to adulthood. I was now a father and a husband, and I eagerly accepted both roles.

As for Bella, on her left wrist, she proudly wore the watch my mother passed down to her. It had been her mother's and my mom was just happy to finally have a girl who could enjoy it. On Bella's right wrist, she wore the charm bracelet Alice had discreetly found for me on one of her shopping excursions. The single, silver charm that dangled from the chain contained a tiny baby shoe engraved with Serena's birth date.

The gift I received from Bella had quite literally left me speechless. She and my mom gave me a book of photographs beginning with my childhood with Riley to photos of Bella as a teenager (donated by Alice) to an enlarged version of the photo of Bella under the maple tree. It was the same photo that had gotten me through many lonely and frightening nights away from her. The second to last page carried the image of Serena from the Varner's parlor. Her tiny, chubby cheeks and warm, open eyes nearly broke me in two. The final page was left blank with a note from Bella promising that it would be soon filled with our first family photo. Her love and kisses sealed her promise. I reached for her, nearly knocking her off her knees and pressed my lips to hers. My hands firmly grasped her head, and I allowed all of my emotions to spill out of me into our embrace.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips.

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

Dinner followed our gift giving by the tree and when we were nearly stuffed to the gills, I laid Serena on her green and red quilt and snuggled beside her. Serena's grunting sounds quickly drew the attention of her mother.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

She looked down to see her daughter wiggling and maneuvering herself toward the promise of a lovely treat. I grinned at Serena and offered words of encouragement. The candy cane I placed in her line of sight was just out of reach of Serena's chubby little hands.

"I'm giving her some motivation," I cajoled.

"That's cruel, Edward."

"It is _not_."

I leaned forward to whisper in Serena's ear. "It would only be cruel if I intended to take it away from you once you reach it, which of course I won't, sweet princess." I ended my words with a soft peck on Serena's tiny but determined face.

"Edward, you're too soft. You're going to spoil her and rot out her teeth."

"It's just a little treat, and she doesn't even have any teeth right now. So there's nothing for her to rot out!"

Bella moved forward, and I helped her ease down to the ground by Serena. We laughed as we watched Serena rock back and forth on her knees while making zero forward progress. The drool falling from Serena's mouth was approaching a faucet like flow. Bella laughed and scooped up her child kissing her slobbery face and wiping the excess with a burp cloth that had been tossed over shoulder. Serena fussed and kicked reaching greedily for the candy cane that she had yet to get into her slobbery mouth.

"Not yet, little one," Bella cooed.

A loud, booming knock against the door startled all of us. Serena let out a yelp as I stood quickly and made my way toward the front door. I pulled on the handle of the server table by the door and quickly found my service arm. The booming knock sounded again.

"Come on, Edward, what are you waiting for? It's freezing out here."

I looked out the window of the door and nearly choked in laughter at the sight before me. After replacing the pistol and closing the drawer, I pulled open the door to find a six foot four inch red and white hobo standing before me, with cloth knapsack intact.

"Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas," Emmett bellowed. The glue holding his makeshift fuzzy beard in place was slipping away. It fanned away from his face with every inhale and exhale.

"You look ridiculous," I snickered.

"And you're gonna get coal in your stocking for mouthing off to Santa Claus."

Emmett walked bag in hand through the kitchen and into the den. Peals of laughter came not from my daughter but from the adults who took in our shanty town Santa's appearance.

"All the ladies get mistletoe for Christmas," Emmett announced waggling his eyebrows.

Emmett stepped forward and knelt before Bella. He picked up one of Serena's tiny hands and pressed his fake fuzzy lips to her skin.

"Merry Christmas, little beauty, what do you want Santa to bring you this year?"

Emmett polished off his Santa impersonation with another hearty "Ho Ho Ho," to which my daughter replied with a very loud cry.

"Aw, Emmett, did you have to go and frighten her?" I joked.

"Wa- what did I do?" he asked while briskly patting her hand. Serena only wailed louder and cowered into her mother's bosom.

"You big bear, you look like a gigantic old sod, take off your beard."

Emmett pulled away the remaining glue that had adhered his beard to his face with a wince. The sour face he made caused Serena to laugh.

"Oh, so now I'm funny huh?" he joked while poking a light finger into Serena's round tummy. "Santa doesn't like to be teased; maybe you'll get coal like your daddy over there." Serena's eyes grew wide as Emmett's hand trailed down to her sock covered feet. His fingers played against the cloth resulting in a series of coos and giggles. "That's better." Emmett laughed. He reached into his pocket and offered a tiny candy cane to Serena. Before Bella could protest, Serena already had it in her mouth and began sucking away in delight. The shock that registered on her face from the sweet treat was priceless.

I wrapped my arm across Emmett's shoulders and leaned forward to get closer to Serena. "I told you that your mama was holding out on you. Stick with me and Uncle Em, we'll make sure you get the good stuff."

"Uncle Em?" Emmett asked with a smile.

"Would you prefer Emmie or Francis instead?"

Emmett laughed and mock punched me in the ribs.

"I'm proud to be your Uncle Em, little beauty," he answered while running the back of his knuckle across one of Serena's plump cheeks.

"Are you _my_ Uncle Em, too?" Alice mocked.

Emmett's eyes shot up from his kneeling position on the floor to take in the site of Alice poised before him with her hands on her hips. She glared at Emmett. The scene was rather hilarious as Emmett on his knees was only a few inches shorter than Alice standing at her full height.

"Uhhhh?" Emmett stammered and looked to me for help.

"Emmett, this is Alice Brandon. She's Serena's godmother. They're sort of a package deal. Alice is…family."

If possible, the grey in Alice's eyes sparkled to a pale blue pool. Her smile widened.

"Yeah," Alice snickered. "If you want to be allowed near my goddaughter, _Uncle Em_, you have to be granted _my _seal of approval."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Alice, if it weren't for Emmett, none of us would be standing here today. Take it down a notch, mama hawk. Emmett is a grizzly on the outside but a teddy bear with a gooey middle."

"Says who?" Emmett mock growled.

"Says Rosalie," Bella announced with authority.

Emmett looked down sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. Alice looked from Emmett to me to Serena and finally back to Bella. Bella nodded once more in confirmation.

"Okay," Alice acquiesced. "You're in."

"Thank goodness," Emmett joked. "That was nearly as tough as basic training."

Returning to his duties as our honorary Santa Clause, Emmett turned back to his sack and pulled out a new knit blanket for Serena and two sets of woolen gloves for Bella and me. The last item was a carefully wrapped blackberry pie, all courtesy of Mrs. McCarty.

"Thanks Santa," I joked.

"Are you hungry, Emmett?" my mom asked as she took the pie from my hands. "We finished dinner a while ago, but there are plenty of leftovers I can heat for you.

Emmett looked like he'd just cleaned up at craps. He licked his jowls and began to say something like "yes, please" but I cut him off before he could get the words out.

"Does a dog with fleas scratch?" I joked. "Mom, Emmett here would lick the drippings off the turkey pan if you'd let him."

This time Emmett was a little less good humored about my ribbing. He reached up and pulled me into a headlock and began pounding into my sides with a light fist. I countered by knocking him to the floor, but I was more than outmatched. Emmett easily climbed on top of me and began pinning an arm behind my back. I could have tried to break his hold, but an anxious look from Bella put a hasty end to our play.

"Uncle, uuun_cle_, I give up," I mock cried.

Emmett released me quickly and I gave Bella a wink to let her know we were just playing. Her small smile in return convinced me that the visit from the OSS agent was still too fresh in her memories to make our roughhousing entertaining. I heard a sniffle and looked up to see my mom brush away a tear. Her reaction was completely different from Bella's. Through my mom's watery gaze, I could envision many evenings of wrestling with Riley before my dad stepped into rescue him from my attacks.

"Mom?"

"I'm okay, I'm okay, Edward. I shouldn't be tearing up. There's so much to be grateful for. I'm just going to heat up those leftovers for Emmett."

She walked away quickly and my dad followed her into the kitchen.

"What did I do?" Emmett asked again. "First the baby, and now your mom. I'm a menace."

I wrapped Emmett on the back. "You may be a menace, but that had nothing to do with you. Mom was just remembering the times I would wrestle like that with my kid brother." Emmett had a confused look on his face. "He was killed in a grocery store robbery two years ago." The final words stuck in my throat. It was the first time I'd told anyone that Riley had been murdered. Before I'd always placed the blame on myself saying that he was killed and I hadn't been able to save him.

Alice gasped, and Emmett shook his head. "Geez, man, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you. I'm sure it's been bottling up in her for days. This is the first Christmas she's gotten to celebrate where I've been here but Riley...hasn't. Maybe part of her just thought of him as away at war too. I looked over at my wife and traced the outline of her cheek with my hand. She was the reason I could be happy now. She was the one who taught me that by being happy and truly living, I was giving Riley peace. "I know it's okay to be sad, but Mom's right. There's a whole lot to be grateful for as well."

oo!OO!oo

On New Year's Day Bella, Emmett, Rosalie and I stood on the dock of the Hudson's harbor before the massive Queen Mary.

"Be safe," Bella cried as she tightened her grip on Rosalie's waist.

"Take care of that little beauty," Rosalie replied, nodding in my direction at the tightly wrapped bundle in my arms. Rosalie had also taken to using Emmett's pet name for Serena. "It's cold season, you know," she added.

Bella smiled warmly, but her expression saddened as Rosalie left her arms and moved toward Emmett.

"I'm going to miss you, you big bear." Rosalie's starlight blue eyes were overflowing as she ran into Emmett's outstretched arms.

Emmett gathered her up and twirled her around before setting her back on her feet. Rosalie's nurse's hat slipped from her hair in the wind. I reached down to pick it up and when I straightened I saw Emmett gently rubbing her back as he placed tender kisses along her neck.

"Don't let any of those homesick soldiers or doctors give you any shit, Rosie," he half joked, half sobbed.

"Nn-o problem," she stuttered. "I'm packin' remember," she added as she patted her hip. "Thanks for the lessons."

"Wouldn't want to leave you defenseless without me." Emmett smiled and traced his thumb lightly along the pale pink skin of Rosalie's cheek.

"I've _never_ been defenseless," she quipped.

"True, but now I'm confident you could pick any one of them off before they got within ten yards of you."

"Darn right. There's only one guy I'd want within ten yards of me." Despite her tears, Rosalie looked up at Emmett with a pregnant pause playing on her lips. "General Patton," she joked.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Don't make me re-enlist just so you can see me in uniform again."

"Nope, you're a civilian now, and I like it that way. You'll keep the homefires burning right?" Her bottom lip quivered a bit as she looked up for Emmett's reply.

Emmett didn't answer; he pulled Rosalie back into his arms and kissed her. I looked down to Bella, feeling like I was intruding on their private moment. Bella smiled at me and wiped away a tear.

Emmett's voice cracked as I heard him nearly whisper, "I'll be waiting."

Rosalie turned quickly and reached for her bag. Emmett was faster. He picked it up and gently placed a kiss on her shoulder before setting the bag over top of it. His hand reached over and cupped her cheek. His eyes met hers for one more moment before she turned and pressed a slow kiss into the palm of his hand. In the next instant, she was gone, flying over toward the dock and up the first gangplank. Emmett wrapped his arms tightly around himself as he watched her every movement.

"I feel like half my life just walked away," he said into the wind.

I didn't know if he wanted to talk or just have a few moments to himself. The pain he was feeling was far too familiar to me as I looked down upon my wife. Our separation this time last year felt like someone slowly peeling away layer after layer of my skin. The raw emotions left me aching and bare with no relief in sight. One look in Bella's eyes told me she felt it too. She reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers before pulling it around her and clutching it against her heart.

I didn't doubt the pain Emmett was feeling, but something inside me said that this was not an end for them. There certainly were dangers to fear in a North Atlantic passage in early January. Not that U-boats and enemy attacks weren't enough to consider, but bad weather and ice made the trip more treacherous this time of year. Still, I had a gut feeling, an inner certainty that things would be okay. Although the war raged on, recent newsreels showed signs of the Bulge turning in our favor. General McAuliffe had refused to accept demands for surrender in Belgium then successfully turned back the German army's invasion of Bastogne. The more I thought about it, the more the certainty grew within my gut. It was as strong as the pull I felt when rolling the dice. They were going to hit and _we_ were going to win.

Emmett waved madly up toward his beautiful girl, and she threw kiss after kiss back at him. She smiled; he smiled back. Suddenly it dawned on me, without even realizing it, fear and sadness had been replaced in all of us with one undeniable underlying emotion…_hope._

_

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_

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 28 - **Christmas 1944

**Story reference: **Rosalie departs on January 1, 1945 for another trip across the Atlantic on the HMS Queen Mary

**Historical Significance: **Queen Mary Crossing: January 1 to January 7Embarkation/Debarkation: New York, NY to Gourock, Scotland

**Source: **http:/www(dot)ww2troopships(dot)com/ships/q/queenmary/crossings1945(dot)htm

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**Story reference: **Rosalie's parting words to Bella before her departure were in the those of a nurse reminding her to take care of Serena

**Historical Significance: **Short video on the life of an army nurse and her importance in the war effort. Video circa 1945.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)ibiblio(dot)org/hyperwar/Newsreels/Army-Nurse(dot)mpg

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**Story reference: **Edward describes having hope and recounts some of the recent Allied victories in the Battle of the Bulge.

**Historical Significance: **1944 – World War II: Patton's Third Army breaks the encirclement of surrounded U.S. forces at Bastogne, Belgium. December 26, 1944

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/1944

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**A/N:** With "The Last Breath," my goal was to write a story that included all of the emotions that people who live in a time of war experience, and I thank all of you for sticking with me on this exciting, sometimes sad, journey. Please know that you can always send me a PM if you find yourself overly affected by these realistic emotions, and I can provide insight on what is to come in the remaining chapters. There will be two left to post before TLB will be complete.

Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think.

- First Blush


	29. Chapter 29 Visitor  July 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you my betas, Ann and Jess, for walking me through this process. I want to thank them and LJ Summers for talking me off the ledge before I posted this chapter. _**

_**A/N, **Thank you to all my readers, reviewers and especially those out there who are recommending this story; I appreciate it very much._

**

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Visitor: July 1945**

The shoulder of my cotton t-shirt was drenched with the rolling sweat from my brow. Every few seconds I'd lean over and try to wipe away the recent collection of wet before it seeped into my eyes. There was no escaping it. It was hot and muggy, like every other East Coast summer I could remember. I urged myself to push forward and finish the circuit I created when I began this nightmare. As I reached the back patio, I tossed the handles of my push mower aside. Then I summoned my remaining strength to find the glass of ice tea that Bella had set on the porch for me.

"A bargain at under seven dollars, my ass," I mocked toward the offending machine.

Even now, it was surprising to me at how mundane, everyday tasks crept back into my psyche and became commonplace again. This time last year, Bella had just given birth to Serena, and I lay unconscious in a hospital in Bayeux, France. Today, I was staring up at the home Bella and I owned in Cinnaminson, New Jersey, while cursing a seven dollar push mower I'd bought at the hardware store this spring.

I surveyed my kingdom, satisfied that I had won the battle of the grass for the day. Brushing off my trousers, I dragged the clicking menace back to the shed. I squinted into the sun wondering what possessed me to start mowing an acre at eleven in the morning in the July heat. The masochist inside of me must have wanted to see if my clothes could literally be wrung out by the end of my Saturday chore. I must have looked awful. I certainly smelled like hell, but deep down, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My disheveled appearance was the result of honest work on a piece of ground I could call my own. Despite the painful path that brought us here, I was damn proud of where we were today.

With a slight skip in my step, I hurried back to the house and in through the kitchen door. Bella was humming while finishing up the sandwiches for our lunch. Serena was nearby playing with a couple of new blocks she'd received for her birthday from Uncle Em and Aunt Rosie. After her departure across the Atlantic on New Year's Day, Rosalie made two more trips aboard the HMS Queen Mary before receiving an honorable discharge in March. Emmett swept her off her feet as she tore down the gangplank and into his arms. We were there with Emmett to see her off and greet her each time she returned home. As Rosalie spun in Emmett's tight grasp, she vowed to never leave him again. Emmett's smile grew wider than a Cheshire cat as he asked her to make good on that vow. He dropped to one knee right there on the dock and asked her to marry him. They were planning their nuptials for this January.

"You need to get off your feet," I grouched closing in behind my wife. My hand gripped the counter on either side of her waist eliminating her escape routes.

"And you need a shower," Bella quipped.

She dunked her fingers into the soapy water and flicked them over her shoulder at me. Taken back for a brief second, Bella pressed her advantage and shoved a palm into my chest. I took a quick step backward to right my balance. Bella winked and turned back to her dishes. The water remained running as I swept Bella off her feet and carried her into the den. A yelp of surprise escaped her as her feet left the floor. Serena giggled at the sight and then returned her attention to her blocks. The wet dishtowel that Bella carried was practically dripping. The soggy cloth pressed against her white blouse revealing the delineation between her pale skin and her lace lined brazier.

"Later," Bella promised, when she caught my stare.

I laid her gently on the davenport and turned to go back for Serena when Bella caught me by the wrist. She tugged against me, preventing my departure, sitting up quickly to make room for me next to her on the couch. I sat tentatively, mindful of my grass stains and inhuman smell, but Bella ignored all of that and used her icy cold dishtowel to wipe the sweat from my brow. She looked at me with such happiness and contentment in her eyes. The towel left my brow and came to rest on the back of my neck. The stark cold eased my overheated skin.

"Better?" she asked. Her eyes sparkled and I realized that the playful push at the sink was only a distraction so that she could run the dry towel under cold water for me.

"With you, everything's better," I replied, leaning forward to kiss the top of Bella's head.

"Will you always say things like that to me?"

"You have to ask? Of course," I replied, lifting her hand and pressing it to my lips. "I intend to for a long time—even after we're old, and grey and wrinkled, remember?" Bella's smile grew wider as she quickly recalled the words I'd written to her on our wedding day.

She reached up and pulled me toward her. Soft, luscious skin pressed reverently to mine, tasting, touching, loving. Bella's hand reached up to drag her fingers through my hair. It had grown significantly since we arrived home. The short buzz cut was traded in for longer waves that could be traced and pulled. Bella's hand froze in mid action as her fingers sunk into my damp locks. I pulled back and couldn't help but laugh at the wrinkled nose and look of mild disgust on her face.

"Something wrong, love?"

"You still need a shower."

"True, and you still need to rest."

I leaned forward and kissed her quickly before returning to the kitchen to gather up Serena in my arms. She squealed in delight as I lifted her dress and blew raspberries onto her bare tummy. I paused by her playpen and tenderly kissed the fresh bruises on her left knee and right shin. This was one of the hazards of learning to walk. I set Serena into her "cage" and waited for the burst of tears. _I wasn't disappointed. _

"Aw come on, Sammy," I pled.

"I heard that," Bella called out from her place of repose.

A loud snort escaped me.

"I can't help it," I whined.

Alice had taken to calling Serena "Sammy," an abbreviated version of Serena Marie. Bella hated it, stating that she knew for a fact that Serena was a girl and could attest to the certainty that it hadn't changed since her last diaper change.

"Yes, you can. She's a girl, with a lovely name…_use it_."

"You're fighting a losing battle, Bella. Alice has already won over Emmett and Rosalie. She's been calling her Sammy in her letters to Jasper too. I think you're outnumbered by the enemy. It's time to call in defeat."

"Do you remember who you're talking to? The most stubborn woman alive shares your bed."

Serena continued to cry, and I searched frantically around the room for her pink bunny before finally discovering its hiding place beneath a kitchen chair. I grabbed it and her coveted blocks and deposited them both in her playpen beside her.

"You're okay, baby girl," I promised as I ran my fingers soothingly over her coppery curls. "Daddy needs to clean up, and mama needs to rest. You'll be all right for a few minutes 'til I get back, won't you?"

Serena sulked but acquiesced by plopping her thumb in her mouth and running the well worn bunny ear along her cheek. The action soothed her, and I let out a sigh of relief as I turned and plodded up the stairs.

The water in the shower ran for a while before I finally stepped in. I didn't want it too hot. I was already overheated from the morning's activity, but I wasn't looking forward to the bite of a cold shower either. A sigh of contentment escaped me as I drifted under the spray. _Perfect. _ The lukewarm water was just the right balance, cooling my flushed body and relaxing my tight muscles.

I lifted my chin allowing the water to roll down my face and wash away the sweat and grime. My eyes closed and I allowed myself a few minutes of perfect balance. A slow smile spread across my face. This is exactly what we'd been striving for over the last eight months, balance. I was happy to escape into civilian life. The adventure and danger of the war had been enough to last me a lifetime. Bella, on the other hand, wasn't quite as ready to settle into a quiet life where her primary concerns were that of a wife and homemaker. I kept my word to her as I had promised when we first returned home. She would not lose herself. Bella rejoined the OSS stateside to do what she could to help with the war effort here at home. Bella _Cullen _appeared to be a secretary who worked twice a week down at the administrative offices of the Philadelphia Naval Yard. Officially, Isabella Dwyer-Masen had died from complications that resulted from the injuries she sustained in an air raid. Isabella and Edward Masen would not be resurrected until after the end of the war. It was safer this way, for all of us. Bella's skills as a former operative helped with setting up secret defensive positions for the Coast Guard. I didn't know a lot about her work as most of it was classified but just being linked into intelligence, albeit on the fringes, was enough to make her feel as though she was contributing. My pride in her soared, but more importantly, _she_ was happy.

There was another, more personal reason, for Bella to rejoin the OSS. Through her intelligence connections, she could keep a distant eye on a certain colonel in London, one whom she'd hoped would return home soon.

Every night we listened to Edward Murrow and "Murrow's Boys" detail the events of the war raging across Europe. Our eyes would often meet across the den when the announcements detailed particularly intense battles or any news having to do with London. In May, we finally received the news we were hoping for, the surrender of our enemies and the liberation of Europe: VE day. While celebrations covered the nation, our commemoration was much more subdued but no less joyous.

_We successfully polished off a bottle of the best wine we owned and danced to Billie Holiday. Her sweet voice carried across the room as I clutched Bella tightly in my arms. The scent of her hair coaxed the words from me. _

_I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day  
In everything that's light and gay  
I'll always think of you that way  
I'll find you in the mornin' sun  
And when the night is new  
I'll be looking at the moon  
But I'll be seeing you_

_We twirled slowly in rhythm to the music as I crooned the words softly. Wet waves of Bella's tears met my cheek. The words of my vow to her eighteen months ago flooded into my mind. I closed my eyes and pulled Bella tighter against my chest sweeping my nose along her jaw line. _

"_Do you remember our last night together?" I asked against the smooth skin of her cheek._

_A silent nod and shaky breath came from my wife._

"_I was never surer of any words I'd spoken as I was that night. I promised you that our last breaths would not be alone in war. I swore to you that we would live a long and happy life together; that our final breaths wouldn't come until we were old and gray." I pulled back to stare into her tear filled eyes. "We made it, baby. We're going to have that happiness together watching our family grow."_

_She nodded once more, sweeping away her tears and half laughing, half crying through her smile. "I love you, Edward."_

Victory in Europe was in our grasp, and we hoped that our servicemen would quickly and safely find their way home. The battles and bombings in Japan raged on but just a few days earlier, President Truman announced the terms for Japanese surrender. I, along with half the world, hoped and prayed that the end of this hell of a war was finally at hand.

The lukewarm water had begun to run cold, and I shut off the spray. My fingers traced a message in the dripping moisture to Bella. _My love, my life, my future, _I wrote_. _The end of the war would mean a new freedom for us. We would be released from fear and be graced with the freedom of a solid future, one where our children could be raised in a peaceful world, one where democracy would continue to exist for our country.

By the time I reached the kitchen, Serena was in her highchair happily munching away on some cooked carrots and peaches from the market. Both my girls smiled at me as I came into view

"There's Daddy," Bella called.

No matter how many times I heard it, the sound of "Daddy" being called out would always be music to my ears.

"Any news?" I asked Bella as I shoved the first bites of a corn beef sandwich into my mouth.

Bella shook her head. "Nothing since they declared _Mokusatsu_ in the morning edition of that Japanese newspaper yesterday."

I took another bite and wrinkled my brow in frustration. It was more than disappointing to see little progress take place in standoff. The Japanese appeared to be ignoring Truman's conditions for surrender. We wanted an end to the bloodshed and despite the recent heavy bombings, the Japanese seemed as determined as ever to battle to the end. I let out a loud sigh and kissed Bella's head before taking our dishes to the sink. A loud shriek escaped Serena as she slapped her hands down on top of her high chair. Apparently she was full. I laughed to myself and returned to the table with a soapy washcloth in hand to clean the orange colored goo that covered Serena's face and hands. Once clean, I lifted her from her place of confinement and covered her round full cheeks with raspberry kisses. Serena laughed and cooed as I set her on the floor beside me. Bella stood to clear the table when I caught her by the wrist.

"Go sit, I've got this."

"I know, but I wanted to get on the road soon. I promised Alice we'd be there by dinnertime."

"We've still got some time," I replied tenderly, wrapping my arms around her waist and pointing her in the direction of the den.

Bella smiled at the charming look I was throwing at her. I pulled my hand from her waist and rested it on her hip. My look turned from playful into a silent command. My wife just rolled her eyes.

"Fine," she grouched. "But you're the one who's going to face Alice's wrath if we're late."

Bella turned and walked slowly in the direction of the den before turning and giving me a look over her shoulder.

"If Alice lets you live, how about we let her look after Serena for the night?" She waggled her eyebrows at me.

"Go!" I ordered snapping the dishtowel in her direction. "If you don't get some rest, you won't have any energy for me tonight."

Bella's laughter echoed through the room as I turned back toward the sink of soapy water. I made quick work of the dishes and began tackling Serena's orange covered throne when I heard the quiet purr of a sedan rolling up our driveway.

"Bella? Are you expecting anyone stopping by today?"

I already knew the answer to my question but wanted to give her the opportunity to quell my anxiety.

"No." Her voice was cool and controlled.

Neither of us anticipated any real danger after the official end to our terms as operatives, but we didn't take any chances either. I walked toward the front door and released the latch on the secret compartment of the sideboard. My fingers crawled back into the confined space and returned with my Army issued Colt pistol. Checking the safety and the ammunition gave me a moment to compose myself before a loud knock pounded against the door.

For a second I was frozen, thinking back to moments of combat. The stench of blood and smoke filled my senses. Loud pounding on the door echoed like the blast of an artillery shell. A cutoff sound from Serena pulled me from my trance. Bella had obviously grabbed our child and was hiding her in the pantry as we had planned long ago. I looked through the angled peephole cut into the closet that bordered our front door. From this angle, I would be able to see who stood on my front step. If it became necessary I could shoot through the molding that I had replaced with thin board should this exact need arise.

I shook my head and looked a second time just to make sure I wasn't imagining the sight in front of me. Quickly, I stowed the gun, forgoing the latch to release the front door's bolt and chain. The door swung open wide and before me stood a haggard Army colonel with his khaki colored twill, crush cap under his arm. The gold American eagle glinted brightly against the summer sun.

"Colonel Swan," I called out.

In that moment, I hated myself. My voice didn't crack, but the agitation was evident in those two simple words. It was as if nothing had changed. I was still the nineteen year old little shit under his command. The one he didn't spare a moment for when I arrived at his command bright eyed and bushytailed. At the time I was eager to please and gave little thought of how my actions could wind up getting me killed. In truth, a whole hell of a lot had changed. I was a decorated operative. I survived battle and being slugged with the remnants of a bomb. I was a husband and a father. I owned my own home, and I sure as hell shouldn't be cowering to the man before me. I stood him down once before when my wife lay dying. I wasn't going to allow myself to be any less self-assured today.

"Colonel Swan is a little formal don't you think, Edward? You can call me Charlie." The colonel's eyes shifted almost uncomfortably from me to the floor and back again as he swallowed. "Is Bella home?"

"Yes, Col-Charlie," I stuttered. "Please come in."

Before taking a step in my direction, the colonel pulled his right arm from behind his back and produced a small wrapped package.

"For the baby," he said, answering my internal question.

_Charlie_ walked through the front door and into my home. It was a completely surreal moment. This was the first time I saw him, not as my commander, but as my father-in-law. I shook my head, dumbfounded that he was here without a word of warning and with a gift for his granddaughter. I closed the door behind Charlie and re-secured the locks. Before joining him and directing him to Bella, I reached under the sideboard and spun the hinge locking the secret drawer in place. The noise caught Charlie's attention enough to cause him to turn in my direction. His brow furrowed for a moment before the recognition dawned on him. He lifted his eyes from the drawer to meet mine and nodded firmly with approval.

I smiled to myself, pleased that I had done something to gain his respect. I motioned for Charlie to follow me and called out to my wife.

"Bella? It's okay. We have a visitor; one I think you'll be happy to see."

Bella emerged alone from the pantry with a wary expression painted across her features. The moment she caught sight of Charlie she took off, running the five or six steps it took her to reach his arms. Bella's gate was clumsy, her burns had fully healed, but it didn't take much for her to grow stiff after sitting for any length of time. Charlie caught her round the waist as she stumbled the last few steps into his embrace.

"DAD!" Bella choked out as she met his solid chest.

Charlie picked her up and spun her before setting her down gently and kissing the top of her head.

"It's good to see you too, kid."

He looked at her so adoringly that I wondered how I ever could have missed that he was her father. The eyes, the hair, even the chagrinned expression they both wore were exactly the same. It seemed impossible that I didn't recognize it before. Suddenly a wave of sadness hit me as I watched my wife cry softly in her father's arms. She was once again his little girl, looking for protection and love. Charlie's cheeks in turn were trailing tears of relief and happiness. I wondered how difficult must it have been for him, never allowing himself to hold her like this. How many times he wanted to show her that he loved her as much as she loved him. The idea of being so close to Serena and not being able to tell her I loved her was sickening. Doing it nearly every day for two years seemed impossible.

Charlie stooped down to retrieve his fallen crush cap and stood to offer his gift to Bella.

"The baby?" he asked in a strained voice.

I nodded and walked quickly into the pantry and slid open the door to the food shelf. There lay Serena on the open bottom shelf clutching her pink bunny and working her thumb.

"Come on, baby girl," I called out as I reached for her.

Serena was all too happy to escape her hiding spot. Even at barely a year, she knew that she needed to be quiet when her mother or I put her in here. We practiced it so often, that it became nearly commonplace for her to think of it as another crib for a quick nap. We'd hoped we'd never have to use it, but the practice provided us a small measure of peace. If the time came, Serena wouldn't be left out in the open.

I hefted Serena and cradled the back of her head as I kissed her.

"You did so well, little princess. Come on; let's go meet your grandpa."

Serena's eyes grew wide. She knew the word grandpa in reference to my dad. It would be interesting to see her reaction to Charlie.

"…I'm fine, Dad. You don't need to worry. It's only a couple of days a week, and it helped me keep tabs on you, you miserable old goat."

"Bel-_la,"_ he chastised. "Is that any way to refer to your father?"

Bella was about to answer in what I'm confident would be an equally sarcastic remark when I entered the room. Serena caught sight of the stranger and immediately laid her head on my chest. I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair and gently kissed the top of her head.

"It's okay, baby."

Charlie froze, looking with unmasked longing between his daughter and mine. He swallowed hard and took a hesitant step forward.

"She's beautiful," he whispered.

I could tell how much he wanted to hold her, but strangers frightened Serena. Bella walked toward the kitchen and returned with Serena's coveted blocks. The three adults and one tiny little girl settled on the wood floor of the den to play with her brightly colored wooden toys. Charlie's eyes held a look of awe as he stared at Serena. He offered her blocks from the pile and showed her how to build and demolish a tower. He laughed as her chubby fist demolished the wobbly column that he had assembled before her. Serena let go with a screech of laughter, which only served to captivate Charlie even more.

"Good thing you're on our side little Serena," he said conspiratorially. "If the Germans had anyone like you in their ranks, they would have succeeded in blowing up the Ludendorff Bridge before we could save it."

Bella and I both laughed at Charlie's joke. The Ludendorff was the bridge that allowed the 9th armored division to cross the Rhine River and brought us that much closer to a German surrender. The Nazis wanted that bridge destroyed to delay the Allied advance into Germany and ultimately Berlin. When the attempt to detonate explosives under the bridge failed, a furious Hitler ordered massive bombings. Despite the onslaught of munitions, the bridgehead held for ten days.

Serena continued to act as a one woman wrecking crew. She laughed when we all laughed and slowly warmed up to her newfound grandparent. Despite the ease of our afternoon, I was glad to have Serena as a buffer when Bella excused herself to ring Alice about Charlie's arrival.

"She looks good," Charlie mused.

"She is good. The doctors are watching her closely, and we're making her take a leave of absence after this month."

"Why?"

"Because Edward is ridiculously overprotective, and Carlisle put a bug in his ear about bed rest next month," Bella answered the question Charlie posed to me as she crawled over to my lap. A sigh escaped her as I ran my fingers over her shoulder and down her torso to gently rest over the tiny bulge pressing against her stomach.

"You're expecting?"

"Mmmhhhm."

"It wasn't planned," I added as if this would make a difference to my father-in-law. Of course it wouldn't. I beat myself up daily over putting her at risk like this. Why would today be any different? Bella sat up on one elbow and shot me a look.

"Oh, knock it off," Bella's whined sarcastically at me. "The doctors have said that everything is fine. Stop worrying. This is what we wanted, remember?"

"Of course it's what I wanted. I just didn't want it this soon. You needed more time to heal before putting this kind of stress on your body."

Charlie looked from Bella back to me back to Bella's stomach. A loud sigh escaped him.

"What exactly did your doctors say, Bella?"

"That there would be risks, but they could be managed with rest and taking good care of myself."

"And are you doing that?"

"Yes," she said.

"Sometimes," I replied as we answered in unison.

"You may be too big to put over my knee, but I'm confident I can confine you to a bed without much of a problem."

"Great." Bella sighed, picking up Serena. "When are you going to learn to talk so you can help me out here? I'm outnumbered, and I'm sure you'd have an opinion that could help me." Serena nestled against her mother's chest, bunny in hand and thumb in mouth.

"I'm certain she would, Bella. She'd say take care of yourself so I can have a new baby brother or sister AND a mama to take care of me." I leaned over and kissed Serena's chubby cheek. "Don't you worry, sweet princess, that's exactly what I'm going to do; I'm going to take care of your mama and our new baby for you."

Bella smiled at me, cupping my cheek and shaking her head in mock frustration. Serena's eyes were beyond heavy and moments later they drifted closed.

"Do you want to hold her, Dad?" Bella asked with a wicked gleam in her eye.

_Yes, love, your diversion tactics are still quite sharp._

Charlie eagerly nodded, and I helped Bella stand and gently lay Serena in his arms. We moved over to the davenport, and Charlie took up a comfortable residence in a side chair. He motioned with his chin for Bella to pick up the tiny wrapped package he'd brought and left on the floor beside Serena's blocks.

"It's not much, but I thought she might like it when she got a little older.

Bella tugged on the pink grosgrain ribbon and carefully unwrapped the paper covering Serena's gift. The paper looked like ordinary teletype paper that had been covered with designs revealing colorful presents, cakes, lit candles and party hats. _Happy Birthday_ was scripted elegantly in the center followed by _Love, Pop._

"Shelley's a pretty good artist," Charlie acknowledged. "She worked on that for me just before I left."

Bella's eyes softened. "It's beautiful; I'll have to write to her and thank her for all the time she put into this."

When she lifted the top on the box it revealed a lacquered, inlaid music box nestled among the newsprint. Bella gently removed the box from the packaging and lifted the lid. Sweet chimes of _The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy _filled the room. Her eyes grew wide in appreciation for the beautiful gift.

"Dad, thank you. Someday she'll cherish this."

"A spoil of war?" I asked, wondering where Charlie could have found something like this in London only a few months after the end of the war.

"No," he quickly shot at me.

I could have kicked myself for not thinking before speaking. Charlie was a tough and demanding leader but also was an honorable man. He wouldn't steal.

"It was a gift from a liberated Austrian who played music at an opera house in London. I'm not much for music like that, but the general ordered all his staff to attend. We met with the musicians after their performance and talked about their experiences during the war. This little old man who played the cello told me about his son. He was taken at a young age and had been commandeered into joining the German army. The father came to London to play, but his real motivation was to find his son. I helped him, and he offered this to me with his gratitude."

Bella caught the slight change in her father's demeanor. "Did you find him, Dad?"

"Yes." The tone of Charlie's voice left no question as to whether he found the soldier dead or alive. "I helped him make arrangements to bring him home."

"It really is beautiful, Dad," Bella said, quickly changing course. "She'll love it," Bella added, nodding toward our tiny angel sleeping in Charlie's arms.

Charlie smiled. I saw the flicker in Bella's eyes. She was seizing on an opportunity.

"So…the mole?" Bella asked.

_Let the interrogation begin._

Brilliant as ever, Bella had effectively trapped Charlie with a sleeping infant in his arms. There would be no quick escape or shouting matches as she grilled him for information.

Charlie snorted at his daughter's play. "Captured."

"I already knew that," she snarked. "Was it who we thought?"

Again, her intelligence won over her curiosity. Bella had made it easy for Charlie to answer the question; she didn't ask for names.

"That's classified information, Bella; you know I can't tell you that."

"Well, there's some information I already know. Did James help you get her?"

"He _serve__d_ his purpose."

_ Obviously James had met his maker in the fray._

"Did you get anything out of them?" Bella tried again.

Charlie lifted his free hand from his lap and ghosted over a spot on the upper right side of his chest. Whether real or imagined in his chest, the expression on his face was evidence enough of a painful vision playing in his mind.

"They didn't help the enemy any more after that," was Charlie's only reply.

_Translation, opponent eliminated._

I thought that would effectively end the conversation, but Charlie surprised me. His voice took on a hushed, reverent quality. His gaze looked through the dessert Bella had placed on the coffee table.

"I got the last one just as he was about to put a bullet into Jasper."

Charlie's expression grew pained at the words.

"Jasper?" I asked, speaking for the first time.

"He never saw him coming. I got a shot off just in time."

"Good lord, Dad, I didn't know it was that close."

"It was. Jasper shot James to keep him from killing me, and I picked off the third double just before he could fire on Jasper."

My heart thumped erratically as I imagined the scene in my head. I knew Jasper couldn't tell us much in his letters, but I never imagined him dodging bullets meant for me and Bella. I fumbled for my words as an icy chill ran down my spine. Jasper only had a few months under his belt as an operative before being put into this kind of situation. I thanked God he made it out alive.

The last letter Jasper sent to Alice mentioned a new mission. Although the military was no longer censoring letters home, it had been apparent that he was choosing his words carefully. Alice was expecting another letter any day now, but I had hoped that Charlie would bring some news of him. I decided to be direct. If it was classified, Charlie would tell me so.

"Where is Jasper now?" I asked.

Charlie flinched as if I had stabbed him in the chest. He looked down at the table and then slowly lifted his eyes to meet mine. His face bore the heavy weight of war and men lost in battle. Decisions and actions weighed like the chains of Jacob Marley around his neck.

_No!_

"NO!" I shouted, out loud this time. "He's fucking two months away from the end of his tour, don't you dare tell me—" The last word died in my throat; I couldn't say it. I just shook my head violently, no.

Charlie looked down. I covered my eyes with my hands and slowly began to drag my fingers through my hair. If in that moment I could have burrowed my fingers into my skull, the pain would have been a welcomed escape from the agony clawing at my chest.

"He's dead, Edward."

A moan escaped me. My eyes remained closed as desperate fingers pulled at the loose ends of my hair. All the while, I silently examined Charlie's words, his tone, his inflection. There was no hesitation; his voice was flat and stoic. It left no room for interpretation. I stood and spun and threw my arm out knocking the pastries from the coffee table and kicking it on its side. I seethed at Charlie.

"I don't believe you," I spat.

I looked him dead in the eye so that he could see the hatred in my eyes as well has hear the venom in my words. As if he anticipated this, Charlie took a deep breath and slowly dragged his hand along his thigh and into the pocket of his trousers. A clinking sound was preceded by the stark reality of the single dog tag that swung slowly from the ball chain in his hand.

"That doesn't mean anything!" I roared, but my confidence was fleeting, like trying to catch wind on my fingertips.

Bella stood on shaky legs and crossed the room to her father's chair. Her fingers wound slowly around the metal chain that had clung to its owner's neck for the last two years. I felt like a failure for not going to her and comforting her, but my body was frozen in place. I watched as she turned the tag over in her palm. A light fingertip traced his name and serial number. A solitary word escaped her lips as she crumpled to the floor.

_"Alice."_

I shut my eyes once more trying to block out images of my partner in crime and how she glowed with happiness for days after receiving one of Jasper's letters. Anger flowed through my veins. This was _wrong_; it had to be. He was so God damned close to coming home.

"I still don't believe it."

The truth was, I didn't _want _to believe it. I clasped my fingers together and used them to shield my mouth. My eyes would do my talking. I wasn't about to say another word; instead, I waited stoically for Charlie.

Observing my resolve, Charlie pulled in a deep gulped of air before he began. "Edward, they found this with the charred remains of about thirty American POWs. Last month Jasper volunteered to help liberate German POW camps. He was moving east with the British 7th Armoured Division toward Berlin…he never made it."

"Who?" Bella sobbed.

"We don't know. The remains were found outside of Magdeburg, but the land is now controlled by Stalin's Red Army."

"Why is there only one dog tag Charlie? Where's the other one?" I didn't know if this meant anything or not, but at that moment I was grasping for straws.

"It's probably with the remains, Edward." His voice turned to a whisper. "His family will be notified this week. I came here as soon as I got home. I wanted to be the one to tell you."

"I don't," I sputtered. "I can't—" I collapsed back down into my seat and took my head in my hands.

I heard Charlie draw in a deep breath. "They brought me his footlocker a few days ago. Edward," Charlie paused and stood from the chair.

Once more Charlie closed his eyes and ghosted his hand over something imaginary on his chest. He nodded curtly to himself before stepping in my direction. His fingers pulled back across his chest and slid beneath the lapel of his jacket. Slowly and reverently, he produced a single envelope and held it out to me.

"He wanted you to be the one to deliver this."

I looked up from my clasped hands to the letter proffered just inches from my face. With a shaky hand, I took the letter and saw the modest two word address written in Jasper's neat scrawl.

_Mom and Dad_

Once more my head fell into my hands. Clutching the letter tightly against the back of my head did little to halt the onslaught of grief.

I closed my eyes once more and wept.

* * *

**A/N: ** I really thought long and hard about posting this chapter. I worried over the shock of it but in the end took the advice of my friends and betas not to post any warning about the end of this chapter. If you have questions or concerns, please send me a PM. I'll do my best to answer any questions you have.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate knowing what you think,

-FirstBlush

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**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 29 - Visitor  
**

**Story reference: **Edward sweats in the July sun while pushing his $7 lawnmower

**Historical Significance: **Advertisement for a push lawnmower for $6.95 in the 1940's

**Source: **http:/glover320(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2008/07/1940-old-faithful-push-mower(dot)html

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward describes Bella's continued role in the OSS once they return to the US.

**Historical Significance: **The OSS and the US Coast Guard kept a vigilant watch over the US shoreline and created systems to prepare for the event of an enemy attack.

**Source: **https:/www(dot)cia(dot)gov/library/center-for-the-study-of-intelligence/csi-publications/csi-studies/studies/vol-52-no-4/guardian-spies(dot)html.

* * *

**Story reference:**Songs Bella and Edward dance to as they celebrate VE Day

**Historical Significance: **I'll be Seeing You recorded by Billie Holiday as a single in 1944.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)ilike(dot)com/artist/Billie+Holiday/album/The+Commodore+Master+Takes

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward and Bella tune in nightly to hear the progress of the US fighting in WWII.

**Historical Significance: **Edward R. Murrow lined up CBS correspondents in several European cities. CBS initiated the evening news round-up, tuning in successive correspondents live via short wave radio during the newscast. The daily developments were heard instantaneously across America.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)radioscribe(dot)com/formats(dot)html

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**Story reference: **Edward and Bella celebrate the news of VE day.

**Historical Significance: **VE Day was announced on May 8, 1945 after the unconditional surrender of Nazi forces.

**Source:**http:/www(dot)americainwwii(dot)com/stories/ve(dot)html

http:/video(dot)google(dot)com/videoplay?docid=8703739496132697585#

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**Story reference: **Edward describes the hopes for an end to the war in Japan by recounting President Truman's Potsdam Declaration.

**Historical Significance: **On July 26th, 1945 President Truman announced the Potsdam Declaration which defined the terms for Japanese Surrender to end World War II.

**Source: **http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Potsdam_Declaration

http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Mokusatsu

* * *

**Story reference: **Edward equates the heavy sorrowful look on Charlie's face to that of the chains of Jacob Marley

**Historical Significance: **Jacob Marley was the fictional character in Charles Dicken's play A Christmas Carol, who bore chains around his neck for all of the sins of his life on earth.

**Source:**http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Jacob_Marley

http:/www(dot)act-sf(dot)org/press/photos/cc_03_1_web(dot)jpg

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**Story reference: **Charlie describes Jasper's last mission to liberate POW camps of Allied soldiers. Jasper went missing after reaching a POW camp outside of Magdeburg, Germany

**Historical Significance: **British troops withdraw from Magdeburg, which now becomes part of the Soviet occupation zone.

**Source: **http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/jul45/f01jul45(dot)htm

http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/jul45/f04jul45(dot)htm

http:/www(dot)onwar(dot)com/chrono/1945/jul45/f16jul45(dot)htm


	30. Chapter 30 Respects October 1945

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

**_Thank you my betas, Ann and Jess, for walking me through this process. The banner for chapter 30 can be found at: _**http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0000tbf1_ I also need to humbly thank u2shay who was up until 1:30 with me last night fact checking and editing. It's because of her that this chapter is on time today._

_**A/N, **I think it's fitting that my last chapter is the longest. Thank you to all my readers, reviewers and especially those out there who are recommending this story; I appreciate it very much._

* * *

**Respects: October, 1945**

The fallen leaves covering my backyard gave the appearance of a bright and colorful blanket cast lazily upon the earth. From the view out my back window, I could see sunlight streaming in from the open spaces where these leaves had once held back the light. Staring through the glass, I wondered to myself if this was what God saw when he looked down upon humanity. Like leaves, we grew from buds to flourish upon maturity. We danced upon the wind; we soaked up the sun and the water. We provided both shelter and fresh air to those around us.

As I continued to watch, new leaves dropped slowly, drifting gently down to the ground. Was this what God saw, our birth, our growth, our maturity and eventually our death? Did He witness the drift of our bodies back to the dust from which we came? Did God then see the hole left behind for those around us when we passed? I believed in a God who could halt a storm from taking leaves too early and one who could lengthen the days so that the sun shined longer and brighter, extending their life. Perhaps, like the leaves we too have a natural birth and growth and death. Although God can intervene, maybe He could also witness through His window the natural beauty of birth and life and even death.

All these thoughts tumbled around in my head as I stared out at the beauty of the October landscape. Today's realization had come about slowly. I'd fought it tooth and nail ever since Charlie's visit two and a half months ago. In my mind, Jasper could not be gone. The hole he would leave behind would be far too great to fill. Rational thought led me in one direction but listening to my heart forced me down another. Refusing to believe the story of his death, I began to delve into the facts surrounding Jasper's disappearance. The British Armoured division he was traveling with made it to Berlin by July 4th, but Jasper was not with them. Could he have abandoned them and gone AWOL? Highly unlikely, if not impossible. Jasper upheld his duty honorably. He would not leave his command unless he had no other choice. Still, I wondered how he slipped away with no one noticing his absence for days. Perhaps there was more to the mission than even Charlie knew. I poured over every report I could get my hands on regarding the Allied march into Germany. We were slowly taking back the land, freeing the Allied soldiers and liberating those held in concentration camps. The reports I found were lengthy, and there were very few mentions of Magdeburg. It was a small town that was released from British control to the Red Army on July 1st; just two weeks after Jasper had left London.

Determining that little would come from official channels, I set out to find my own Intel. I wrote carefully worded letters to Liam, Siobhan and Carlisle asking for their help.

_The view is bright here, now that the blackout shades are gone. I wonder if they're more hesitant to lift the ban in London or Germany for that matter._

In the letter to Siobhan, I told her that I was writing to Carlisle as well to find out how he was doing and that I hoped she'd be able to return my letter soon. That was the first time I had contacted Siobhan since Bella and I left for the states. I was too scared both during the war and in its immediate aftermath to write to her. I feared if my letters were intercepted that it would put her in even greater danger. Now I was so desperate to find news of Jasper, and some semblance of optimism to cling to, that I pushed aside my silence in hope of finding my friend.

My fingers brushed along the silver framed photograph of Bella and me on our wedding day. It was a gift from Maggie and Alistair that had accompanied Siobhan's return letter last week. She said that the sun was shining brightly on her side of the pond as well and that the end of the need for blackout shades even on stormy nights was such a stark change from their former lives of hiding. In closing, she let us know that Carlisle, too, sends his regards.

With those words, my final hopes crumbled like brittle pieces of a fallen leaf. Siobhan hadn't found a thing, neither had Carlisle's contacts.

_The sun shone brightly on her side of the pond. _

They hadn't found him or any news of him either.

_The light was a stark change from their former life of hiding. _

They had searched through all of their contacts, those hiding near and abroad.

_The end of the need for blackout shades on stormy nights_…

This indicated death, in lieu of Jasper hiding or being held captive.

My forehead pressed harder against the glass.

Every day the white envelope addressed to Jasper's parents stared at me from its resting place on my dresser. I saw it when I woke in the morning and traced it with my fingers before I went to bed at night. I wouldn't…I couldn't deliver it until I had some news to share with his family. My head hung low, drawing tension on my shoulders as I wallowed in defeat. There was little more I could do to forestall the trip. It was time.

I took a step back and lifted up a hand up to brace myself against the window frame. My free hand covered my eyes. I wanted a different outcome. I wanted to bring them better news, but my duty to my friend kept calling me back. A shiver passed through me as Bella's arms wound slowly around my waist, pulling me back from my haze. The scent of her perfume eased me into some semblance of comfort. She was my rock. She was my family, my home, my life, and I owed Jasper for all of it. I would not let him down.

I pulled one of Bella's hands up to my mouth for a gentle kiss. The words I spoke came out softly as I lowered her hand and pressed it over my heart.

"What are you doing up? You need to get back in bed."

Bella pressed her lips into my shoulder and tightened her grip around my waist.

"I came looking for you, of course. I worry about you, too."

My head dropped in defeat, knowing the stress that I was causing was bad for both her and the baby.

"Come on, you need to get off your feet."

I led Bella silently back to bed and began rubbing down each of her legs to try to reduce some of the swelling. As Bella's pregnancy progressed into the third trimester, the doctor's concerns grew over her being able to carry the baby to term. The worry over Bella coupled with the news I needed to deliver to Jasper's parents was wearing me to the point of exhaustion.

As my labors moved up to the top of Bella's legs, I felt her warm hand gently cup my cheek. "I know you don't want to accept this Edward, but it's time."

My hands froze and I dropped down to place my head in her lap, pressing my lips to her rounded belly. A deep sigh escaped me as I admitted she was right.

"I'll work the rest of the week and then leave on Saturday."

Bella didn't respond. I felt her fingers run up and down the arm that had curled to encircle her stomach. Serena would come with me. Bella would stay behind. There was no way she could make the two thousand mile trip while this far along in an uncertain pregnancy.

"I don't want to leave you," I whispered.

"I know that; and you know how much I want to go with you. I'll be fine, Edward. Dr. Samuels will come and check on me every couple of days. I'll have help, and you can call me every night to check-in."

I nodded silently, acknowledging that this would have to be the way. As much as Bella wanted to go, Serena and I would make the drive alone. I wanted Jasper's parents to see Serena in flesh and bone. She was the beautiful gift that was born of his selflessness. Figuring, about eight hours a day, it would take us about four days to make the trip. It would be easier to take care of Serena if I had some help. We had talked about taking Alice, but when I finally got up the nerve to ask her to go, Alice firmly told me no. She said wasn't ready. She just shook her head saying it wasn't time.

I could respect that. Alice would come to grips with her loss on her own terms. She wasn't dealing with it well, so far. She arranged for a sabbatical from her teaching position and spent a lot of her days with Bella and Serena. Staying alone in the big house in Maryland seemed to make her worse. Bella and I tried often to convince her to sell it and move further north, but Alice had a mind of her own. She would do things on her own time and of her own accord. When it came to making the trip to Texas, I quietly accepted her decision. No one should force her to go. _No one._ Alice decided instead that she would be put to better use if she stayed with Bella and looked after her.

"Even if the trip takes three weeks, I'll still be back a month before the baby is due."

"I'll be fine, Edward."

I closed my eyes and allowed her words and the warmth of her touch to soothe me. Deep down we both wished she could make the trip. Bella wanted to hold my hand and be my comfort, but she also wanted to tell Jasper's folks how grateful she was, in her own words. She wanted them to know how grateful we both were. There truly was little doubt in my mind that without my friend, my _brother,_ neither Bella nor Serena would be with me today. I would have been alone.

I shuddered at the thought, but Bella's grip tightened and grounded me to the present. A silent prayer of thanks escaped my lips followed by one for my friend. I prayed for the right words to express how much he did for me, how selfless he was, and how no one was more eager to please. Most of all I prayed for the fortitude I would need to tell his parents these things without crying and deepening their own pain. My friend was gone, and I missed him dearly. I myself had nothing to cry over. I had no loss to mourn; my wife and child were alive and well.

In my heart I cried for Alice, for the love she had and never touched. I cried for Serena, who would never know her godfather. I cried Jasper's family and shamefully, and I cried for myself. Two brothers loved, two brother's lost. I had saved neither from the sword.

_Forgive me, Mom. Forgive me, Alice._

"Edward," Bella called softly as she resumed her motions, tracing light patterns on my arm as we remained wrapped up in each other's warmth. "It won't matter what words you use to tell them, Edward. Just knowing he was brave and kind and loved will be enough."

"It won't be enough," I argued. "He's not coming home."

"You're right, but only you can tell them how his life saved ours. You can tell them how his life was not forsaken. You can tell them he was good and kind and smart and funny. They know all of this already, but they need to hear it again. You can help them take some solace in the good he brought into this world.

"I wish—"

"I know," Bella replied, cutting me off. "I do too, especially for Alice, but I don't get to choose what happens and neither do you. We can only be thankful for what we do have and ask for strength when we need it."

Bella tugged on my arm until I sat up and leaned over her. She wrapped her fingers around my neck and pulled me down until her lips pressed softly to mine.

"Thank you, for being my strength," I whispered against her soft skin.

"Always, Edward," she replied, bringing my head to rest against the comfort of her beating heart.

oo!OO!oo

Serena plastered a sloppy kiss on her mother's lips before waving bye-bye with a chubby paw.

"I love you, princess," Bella called out to her. Be safe," she warned. "And call me when you stop for the night."

"I will, baby. I love you. Take care of yourself and our little one," I replied, reaching down to stroke her rounded stomach. "And listen to Alice," I smirked, knowing full well who was going to rule our roost for the next ten days.

"Shut up," Bella grouched. "You'll need to come home and save me from the uppity schoolmarm gone mad. Who knows what state you'll find me in when you return."

"Snug as a bug in a rug, I'm betting."

"Get out of here," she mock snapped before beckoning me to kiss her harder. "I'll be waiting," she promised against my lips.

The unspoken vow passed between us. _Until my last breath. _

"I'll call you from the road," I replied as I turned with Serena cradled against my chest.

I couldn't bear to repeat the vow. Bella already knew it, and it wouldn't alleviate my fear any. The anxiety took hold of me every time we parted. No matter how long or short the separation, it was always there like a nagging nightmare wedged in the back of my mind. I prayed she'd be fine and that Alice would take good care of her. Despite the house calls planned by her physician Dr. Samuels, my anxiety still loomed. I looked over once more to see Alice sit on the bed beside Bella and surround her with her tiny arms. Bella smiled, and they both waved me off as I made my way through the bedroom door. With a sigh of resignation and little Serena tucked in beside me, I turned the ignition and drove away into the morning sunshine.

A beautiful fall landscape kept me entertained along the drive. Serena curled into my side as I drove for hours on end. I talked to her, sang to her and taught her every awful joke I could remember.

"Knock, knock?" I asked.

Serena only looked up at me with a grin upon her face. She learned quickly. By the second day, she knew that whatever I said next would make me laugh and she would laugh in turn.

"You're supposed to say 'who's there?'" Serena giggled as if that was the punch line.

"No, silly," I admonished. "Boo!" I called out into her ear. Serena's eyes went wide, startled by my quick retort. I picked up her chubby hand and kissed it. "You say 'boo who?'" My child looked at me as if I had gone mad. After three days of driving cross country, perhaps I had. I poked my finger into her soft, round belly. "Don't cry; it's only a joke."

Serena laughed at my funny face, and I quickly followed her giggles. Her happy smile brightened my days.

By dusk on the eighth day, we pulled over just outside of Lubbock. We had about two and a half more hours left to go, and I was hopeful that we'd reach the Whitlock's farm by eleven the next day. Serena tossed and turned in her sleep, which left me lying awake next to a tiny kicking toad. Serena would sleep curled in a ball only to flail in her dreams. I imagined her sleeplessness was related to missing her mother. Serena's eyes widened each night when she heard Bella's voice on the other end of the line. That vision was the highlight of my day. Bella cooed into her ear and Serena ate up every word. Her head turned frantically, looking around for the sight of her mother that matched the voice on the phone. In some ways it seemed to be a cruel trick to play on a child, to give her her mother's voice without her arms. For a while longer, my hugs and kisses would be the only ones she would have for comfort.

Now as the night stretched on, Serena's restless sleep was only an excuse for my own insomnia. Imagining all the different reactions Jasper's parents could have to my visit, my mind would not rest. In some thoughts I am welcomed, in some I am hated, in some I am turned out on my ear, and in my worst nightmares I am a broken shell who fails to honor their son.

By morning, I'd managed a couple hours of sleep. I'd dutifully dressed and fed my child, but the playfulness of the last few days was gone. Serena could sense my mood and reflected it as her own. She was more difficult, not wanting to sit still when being changed or fed. Her pleasant demeanor had regressed into whines. She missed her home, her crib, her mother.

"I know, baby, I miss her too."

I debated calling Bella once more for words of confidence but quickly tossed the plan aside; with the time difference, she would likely still be asleep, and I wanted to get on the road. Our suitcases were loaded into the back of the Packard. The one filled with dirty clothes grew heavier each day while the one with clean clothes became startlingly more barren. The fear of doing wash in a roadside bed and breakfast gripped me. I was likely to be handed a washboard and a bar of lye. A shiver ran down my spine.

_How 'bout a new dress, baby girl? _I thought to myself.

The trunk was packed, food had been gathered, and the map curled into my tightly clenched hand. My daughter resigned herself to her now familiar position at my side. Her pink bunny snuggled against her cheek as she suckled on the thumb in her mouth. _She was ready._ There was nothing left for me to do but turn the key and get going.

_I was frozen. _

Key in hand, forehead placed firmly against the steering wheel, I searched frantically for something to spur me on, but I was left with nothing but my own hesitation.

_Why was this so hard? _

I knew the answer before I could even form the words.

_It's hard because I want to bring them different news. I want to bring them hope, not sadness._

My chest tightened. That was it, that was what I wanted most of all. I wanted to bring them hope. The letter held in my breast pocket would likely bring Jasper's love but not hope. Somewhere I had to find it within myself to give it to them.

_But what was there to be hopeful about? Their child was gone, their hopes and dreams for his future smashed to pieces, like a shattered Christmas ball._

I thought about my own hopes. They were for a long and healthy life for my wife, for our children. Perhaps I could give them that. It would be a small consolation, I realized, but it was the only gift I had to offer. Through their son, my wife and daughter and unborn child had a future. His death, though unfair and premature, was not senseless. His life, his going to war, saved three lives in turn. His life was well lived, and not in vain.

I steeled myself with these thoughts and turned the key.

Even in October, the Texas heat felt like stepping into a hot, dry oven. Only the wind rushing through the windows provided relief to my heated skin. Serena was asleep beside me. The routine of her mid-morning nap had taken over her desire to play. I hummed softly and stroked the sweaty curls that were nestled against my outer thigh. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat; her eyelashes fluttered in sleep. She looked so beautiful, so precious, it made my heart ache. Her mother was present in the soft features of her lips and chin. Every few seconds, I glanced down at her long eyelashes as they kissed her tender skin in rapid blinks. I looked up once more to read the last route marker. _This was it._ Dust flew as I took the final turn. Loose dirt and debris crunched loudly beneath the Packard's wheels. The house loomed in the distance; an old blue farmhouse.

Linens hung on a clothesline off the front porch while chickens clucked and a dog barked loudly at my approach. The breeze sent the hanging sheets skyward only to allow them to fall back down and dance among the animals who roamed the yard.

I saw several outbuildings. One must certainly have been Jasper's beloved stables. The surrounding fields were ripe with golden wheat. Land not dotted with crops was being mowed by livestock. A sly grin spread across my face as I wondered if Bella would allow me to trade in my push mower for a Bessie.

_Probably not._

The engine died, and we were still. For the first time in nearly nine days, I was done. I had reached my destination. There was no more searching for where we would land tomorrow. A deep exhale left me, and I turned to the vision of my child for strength. She was my hope, and I prayed that she could be their hope as well.

Serena cuddled into my shoulder when I lifted her into my arms. Her eyes were open, but I knew that in truth, she was still quite asleep. Her mind was still somewhere between her dreams and the vision of the front door that we approached. I hefted her up higher and kissed her salty skin. My shoulders squared as we took the porch steps. I was in my Sunday best; Serena wore one of the pink, frilly dresses bought for her by Alice. We were dressed formally for this visit; I owed no less to my friend, whose funeral I would never attend.

My knock echoed in my ears and in the wind.

Waiting for the answer felt like an eternity. The swirling dust stuck to my skin like pollen coating the hind end of a bumble bee. I reached up to protect Serena's face from the coated winds when the door swung open revealing a white haired woman, weathered by both time and hard work. Her eyes caught mine and a look of confusion passed through her as she looked from me to Serena and back again.

"Can I help you?"

_Her eyes clearly match her son's_, I thought as her vision stared on past me to my car. It was a lot less shiny with the dust of our travel but still relatively new. Her eyes swept over the vehicle, perhaps looking for another passenger, but the confusion came back to me when she found no one. One wouldn't often find a man traveling alone with a young child.

"Yes, Ma'am," I answered quickly and ducked my head down to stare at my shoes.

Before I could find the courage to speak again, the elderly woman answered first.

"Are you broke down?"

"No, Ma'am," I replied straightening my back so I could look her in the eye. "I'm here to see Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock."

She eyed me curiously and reached to wipe her hands on her housecoat.

"I'm Mrs. Whitlock. What can I do for you?"

"I'm Edward Masen."

Confusion flared within her features before the recognition finally hit. Her eyes widened as she looked us over once more.

"Edward?" she asked. "Jasper's friend?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Her senses seemed to quickly return as she ushered us into her modest home.

"Come in, come in. Jasper wrote us many times about you. Is this…the baby? His godchild?"

I could only nod. My voice caught against the lump in my throat. Mrs. Whitlock immediately reached up to snatch Serena from my arms. Serena burrowed her face into my chest but was no match for the practiced hands of the woman before me. A small yelp escaped Serena, but Mrs. Whitlock only placed her head against her bosom and firmly patted her behind.

"Hush now, child, you must be ready for some lunch. Come on, we'll fix you up something good to fill your belly and then you'll be ready to chase the chickens out back."

Chickens? I could only imagine the looks both Alice and Bella would give at the thought of Serena chasing chickens around a dusty pen. Alice would frown at the dirt that undoubtedly would find her dress, while Bella would probably frown, fearing the chicken's pecking beaks.

"I was just about to pull lunch off the stove," Mrs. Whitlock called over her shoulder. "Sam is out back filling the troughs with water, but I expect him shortly. He's never late when I'm fixin' sweetbread."

With a move that was obviously one of a practiced expert, Mrs. Whitlock quickly shifted Serena to her hip and set off for the kitchen. Without breaking a sweat, two place settings were added and lunch was set in the center of a wooden farmhouse table. Serena was tucked soundly into a high back chair with a long linen towel around her belly to secure her in place. Her hands are free, but no matter how she squirmed, she was firmly rooted in her seat.

"What will she eat?" Mrs. Whitlock asked me.

"Oh, about anything you put in front of her, though she's especially fond of peaches."

"No peaches, but we'll give her some green beans and see how she does with that. How old is she?"

"She was a year in July," I say fondly as I watched Mrs. Whitlock pound some beans with the back of her spoon to soften them.

Serena eyed the proffered spoon speculatively. Mrs. Whitlock smiled a knowing grin and set off to remove one of Serena's white leather shoes. I looked on in fascination as Serena's toes curled and uncurled in the free air. Mrs. Whitlock picked up the spoon once more and began to tickle Serena's tiny feet. Her mouth popped open in surprise only to be filled with the first spoonful of her meal.

"Gotcha!" Mrs. Whitlock chortled. "After two boys and four grandbabies, you have to get up pretty early in the mornin' to get past me, little one."

I laughed loudly, which made my child turn and grin back at me with a face full of green. Before I could add a retort in Serena's defense, the back door to the porch swung open. A rusty old salt, wearing dusty overalls stepped inside looking for a meal and finding instead a stranger and his child.

"Mae?"

I immediately stood from my chair and stepped around the table to greet Jasper's father. His hair, though grey, still had Jasper's same wiry waves that one wouldn't quite describe as curls. My hand reached out before me as I summoned my courage with a heavy heart.

"My name is Edward Masen, sir, and this is my daughter, Serena. I knew Jasper during the war, and I've come to visit with you today. He was my friend."

Mr. Whitlock stared back at me. His back straight, his mouth set in a grim line. He looked down upon Serena and then over at his wife. She swallowed hard, and his composure immediately softened.

"I see. Well, I'm starved, and I'm guessing from the look of your child that she's kinda weak in the belly, too. Let's eat and then we can talk. I'm guessing you could use a good meal yourself," he added as he looked directly at the size of my stomach. He sat down and picked up his fork and began serving me and himself with a healthy portion of Mrs. Whitlock's lunch. A few moments passed before he addressed me.

"How long did it take you to get here, Edward?"

"About nine days, sir."

His fork clanged loudly against his dish. "Nine days?" he asked incredulously. "Where are you from, son?"

"My wife, Bella, and I live in New Jersey."

"_New Jersey? _I imagine that trip would take you every bit of nine days."

"And with such a young child," Mrs. Whitlock added.

"Where's your wife, boy?"

I was a bit taken aback by Mr. Whitlock's directness but managed to swallow my food without choking on it.

"She's at home. She wanted to come, quite badly actually, but her doctor thought it best if she'd stay home. She's about seven months along with our second child."

"I see," he replied before putting another forkful into his mouth.

I opened my mouth to start to explain, but Mrs. Whitlock silenced me when she placed her warm hand on top of mine. She shook her head gently no. Her husband continued to stare down at his plate while shoveling more food into his mouth.

"Well, you've cleaned up the green beans, how about some corn mash, little one?"

Serena smiled once more as Mrs. Whitlock tickled her feet again to get her to open wide.

"You still doin' that old trick, Mae?" Mr. Whitlock chuckled.

"It still works, _doesn't it?_" she cooed at Serena who playfully opened and closed her tiny hand around the arm of the spoon which balanced her next bite.

After the meal, and a hearty helping of Mrs. Whitlock's delicious pecan pie, I stood to place my dish in the sink. Mr. Whitlock's eyes followed me in confusion. Before I could take more than a single step away from the table, Mrs. Whitlock caught my hand.

"Leave it," she gently but firmly ordered. "I'll get 'em later."

I wanted to argue, but the look in her eyes told me to obey without question. I simply nodded and placed my plate back on the table. Mr. Whitlock used his red checked napkin to wipe the crumbs off his face before tossing it on the plate.

"Good meal, Mae," he offered before kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Come on, Edward; let's go sit in the den."

My steps were heavy as I followed Mr. Whitlock's lead. A tiny hallway led to a comfortable sitting room with a tall upright radio and welcoming chairs stationed on either side of it. Across from the radio was a larger davenport with a box of knitting on the floor beside it.

"Have a seat," Mr. Whitlock directed as he took out a pipe and filled it with some sweet smelling tobacco.

The match in his hand struck against the box. I watched the golden glow against the roughened skin of Mr. Whitlock's weathered palm. He protected the flame as he brought it up toward his pipe until it caught against the dry leaves. Mr. Whitlock took a long draw, sucking his cheeks in slightly. The pipe emitted a few puffs of smoke. I followed the last white cloud as it rose up toward the mantle. A picture of Jasper in his service uniform was flanked by ones of him and his older brother in childhood. Trapped beneath Jasper's frame was a letter with the seal of ETOUSA in the center. My eyes closed briefly, acknowledging that Charlie was right and the letter announcing Jasper's death had arrived several weeks ago. Before I could compose my first words, Mrs. Whitlock walked through the door carrying Serena tightly to her chest. I thought she was about to offer her back to me, but instead she clutched Serena tighter as she took her well worn seat. Serena sucked on her thumb and emitted a small whimper when she caught sight of me. Mrs. Whitlock only shushed her and rubbed her back with a practiced perfection. I think she needed Serena's comfort now that her arms would no longer hold her own child.

"I imagine you came with a purpose, Edward? That's an awfully long trip to make for a fellow soldier you'd only known for a few months."

"Yes, sir, but in those few months I found a friend, a partner, and if I may be so bold, a brother. I can't say I knew a braver soul than your son, sir."

"Brave or foolish?"

Once again, I was startled by Mr. Whitlock's frankness.

"I would never call him foolish, sir, eager perhaps, but never foolish." A smile spread across my face thinking of the first time I met Jasper on the way to ETOUSA and his rush to get into ULTRA.

Mr. Whitlock's brow furrowed, as if he wasn't sure if he should believe me.

"You want to know why I'm here. Why after knowing Jasper only a few months, he made such a profound impact on me that I would drive across the country to meet you?" Mr. Whitlock sat back in his chair and puffed again on his pipe. "I'm here because Jasper undoubtedly saved my life. Without him, my wife would be dead, and for me, sir, a life without Bella is no life at all.

"No, sir, Jasper was not foolish. He was brave. He joined one of the most elite organizations of our US overseas operations. He risked the threat of air raids and attacks by enemy spies to see my wife and me safely home." Mrs. Whitlock's eyes widen in surprise. "And when I left him, he was going after the enemy, in defense of his country, and in honor of his partner who had been brutally attacked right before his eyes."

"Jasper was most certainly green, Mr. Whitlock, but I never had any doubts about his abilities. I placed my wife under his guard when we were being hunted. He was a good soldier, and he would have made a very strong leader."

I turned from Mr. Whitlock to his wife who continued to rock a sleeping Serena against her chest.

"Jasper was a good soldier, of that there is no doubt. I'm confident that the letters you received from his commanding officer, Colonel Swan, were quite complimentary and well deserved, but I also came to tell you about him as the man who became my friend." I smiled, remembering how he nearly ran us off the road outside of Hanslope. "He wanted a life beyond the war. He wanted a girl to call his own, and I believe he found that girl in Mary Alice Brandon."

Mrs. Whitlock took in a shuddering breath as a tear rolled down her cheek. She nodded in agreement before she spoke.

"Jasper wrote of Alice and her letters. He was truly beguiled by her. I know my son, and he loved that girl. I want her to know that," she nodded as her grief mixed with her conviction.

"As I've said, Mrs. Whitlock—"

"Mae."

"Mae," I amended. "Bella very much wanted to be here today. She believes, as I do, that she would not be alive today without Jasper. Through his help, she is a mother to that child today." Mae's brow crinkled at my statement. "You see, Serena was taken to the States shortly after she was born. Had Bella not survived, I would have never known about her or known to search for her."

"It grieves me that he isn't here to share in this, to see what his life has brought about in mine. I grieve for him and for Alice. For as much as you say Jasper loved her, I know how much she loves him. Her face would light like a Christmas tree every time her hand held a new letter from him. He made her happy. Their love was just beginning to bloom and I believe he would have had in Alice a love like I have in Bella." Thoughts of loving Bella as I do and never being able to hold her in my arms nearly brought me to my knees.

"But Alice…Alice isn't ready to come to you yet. She asks that you forgive her for this, but she said it's not time. She is grieving in her own way. Bella and Alice are like sisters. She'll care for Alice and so will I, not only for my wife's sake but for Jasper's as well. We'll be there for her until she is ready."

"Please, tell her I'd like to meet her someday." Mae sniffled. "I'd like to kiss the cheek of the girl that captured my boy's heart."

I nodded, turning my attentions back to Mr. Whitlock. "I have something for you, sir."

Mr. Whitlock sat straighter in his chair, and I stood to reach into my shirt pocket and find Jasper's letter. My steps were surprisingly strong and sure as I made my way to his father's chair. My hand did not shake as I offered him the letter as Charlie had done with me six weeks ago.

"Jasper left this letter for you in his footlocker. He asked that I be the one to deliver it to you."

His father's shaky hand reached up and pulled the envelope from my grasp. It almost pained me to see it leave my possession. It was as if part of him was still tied to me through those simple folded sheets of paper.

"I don't take this task lightly, Mr. Whitlock. It is with a very heavy heart that I bring you his letter."

I turned to Mae to reach for Serena, but she shook her head.

"Go on out back, Edward," Mr. Whitlock quietly ordered. "Jasper's favorite place is up on a hill over the rise. You'll find it due east past the stables. You'll know it once you see the large madrone tree."

I paused to look down at Serena's beautiful face in slumber. Mae did her best to rock gently through her tears.

"Mae and I need a moment, son."

My eyes closed in embarrassment. I nodded once and turned quickly to give them some privacy with their son's final words.

The walk out to the rise was not a short one. I wasn't in a hurry. I tried to imagine Jasper galloping over these hills on his favorite mare, Ria, chasing the afternoon sun. The heat melted my senses as my walk dragged on. Just as I began to wonder if I was lost, the marker of the madrone tree filled my sight. Its branches opened like a palm with fingers stretching high and wide to welcome those that passed. The scraggily bark looked like an unshaven old man who had sat for a spell only to stay, frozen in time, entranced by the view. My breath faltered as I saw a plain wooden cross staked at the foot of the tree. The shade and fresh breezes provided a suitable place of rest for a lost soul.

My hand covered my mouth as I took the final ten paces to reach Jasper's marker. It was a simple cross, listing his birth and death. An austere bouquet of primrose and blue bonnets lay close by. I looked down at my hands, ashamed that I had nothing to offer a man who had given me so much. I searched until I found three smooth rocks and placed each one in a row in front of the cross, one to mark the life of my wife and my two children. My fingers were dusty, my shirt drenched with my sweat, and suddenly I couldn't find it in me to do much more than sit beside his cross. My chin dropped to my chest and I curled my arms around my knees to comfort myself.

"Hey, Jasper," I called softly to the wind.

The view was beautiful. The rolling foothills covered a still wild and untamed piece of land, yet the beauty was natural and peaceful. I could imagine Jasper sitting here eating lunch or taking a rest from his chores.

"Quite a nice view you have here, my friend." I didn't know what to say that I hadn't already said in my prayers each night, so I said what I felt at the moment. "I wish you were here." I licked the salt from my lips, more as a way to stall than anything else. The emotions were building in my chest. "I've said thank you; I've said I'm sorry. To be honest, I've also said that this was fucking bullshit. I hate this. I already lost a brother. You know that." I shuddered, remembering the look of loss in my parents' eyes when Riley died. And now, I had to see it all over again, in his folks, and in Alice, the beautiful girl that he would never hold. "I'm selfish, Jasper. I wanted to walk away from the war clean, knowing I'd repaid my debt to Riley. Instead I feel like I have another death on my shoulders, another brother who saved me but whom I failed to save. Why? Help me find some sense in this Jasper because right now I feel lost."

I ducked down to hide my shame and wept.

Need and desire can fuel a lot of things. In those moments, I needed to hear that Jasper was okay; I needed to hear that Riley forgave me. The only thing I heard was the quiet call of nature around me. This was home, Jasper's home, his little piece of serenity on earth. My subconscious had chosen that moment to speak for me.

_It's still here. _

His home, his country, his way of life was all still here, still safe in the U.S. It was unmarred by the cruel hand of war. His serenity was kept safe for his family and for the generations to come. They would be able to work the land his hands once turned.

Fighting war in the abstract was foolish, a child's idea of honor. Like Jasper, it had been my ideal as well. The realities of war were nothing like that childhood ideal of play guns and pretend enemies. Our bones broke, our bodies bled, our men died and for what? For the right to pass our land, our homes, our way of life down to the next generation. And despite all the hell of war, that ideal was still here.

_We had not failed._

I looked over at the makeshift grave marker. It was a sad reflection of the larger than life man for whom it honored. The dust shook from my pants as I stood. Jasper was not in the earth. In my mind, he was in the wind around me, so I spoke my final words to the wind. Hoping that wherever he was, he would hear me and know I would do my best to keep my promise.

"I'll look out for her. I'll take care of Alice for you. She will be my sister as you were my brother. Until I see you again…rest easy my friend."

oo!OO!oo

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, Edward. I should be asking you that question." Bella laughed a tired laugh. "Alice is mothering me; I'm bored stiff, but junior and I are fine…" Bella paused. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shifted the telephone to my other shoulder and ran my fingers through Serena's hair. The payphone was cramped and despite the afternoon Texas heat, the evenings held a chill.

"Yes and no. It was hard, probably harder than I thought it would be. Jasper's parents were gracious. His mom took to Serena like she was her own, but his dad, God, Bella, his dad saw right through to my bones. I think he could give Charlie a run for his money."

"That bad?"

"He just saw through the bullshit about war and honor. I don't know if he was in the first war or not, I didn't see anything around the house that indicated he was, but his eyes they just…knew. He asked if Jasper had been foolish and if that was what led to his death."

A heavy breath of air panted through the phone against my ear. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"I did the best I could. To try to explain…I told him about what he did for you and Serena. I told them about his devotion to Alice. I—" My words failed. I stopped to compose myself before finishing. "He took the letter."

"How's Serena?" Bella asked to change the subject. She knew me well enough to know that I was too drained to tell her any more tonight. The rest would have to wait until I was back in her arms with my head cradled in her lap and my body wrapped around her legs like a small child. She would comfort me and slowly bring me back to where I could push the guilt aside and be grateful, if not happy for my life.

"She's tired. She's been sleeping against my shoulder for the last forty minutes. I think the heat down here is taking a lot out of her."

"Put the phone up to her ear. I promise I won't wake her. I just want her little mind to hear my voice."

Of course, I quickly followed Bella's request and listened to her softly tell Serena how much she loved and missed her. She finished with a hummed rendition of "Hush Little Baby." By the end, I was swaying myself from exhaustion.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" I quickly pulled the receiver back to my ear.

"Come home to me."

"We'll be home soon."

I heard Bella's sigh, instantly recognizing its intent. _Not soon enough,_ it whispered into my ear.

"Get some rest, and call me when you settle in each night, okay? I worry. I know you want to get here. I want you home in the blink of an eye, but I worry about all the driving alone. Rest when you're tired. Eat when you're hungry. Kiss my baby for me, and call me when you can."

"I will, love."

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, baby. _Always_. Sweet dreams, beautiful."

"Sweet dreams. _Goodnight_."

My whispered goodnight fell to the wind as the receiver clicked. She would sleep alone again tonight. After nine nights apart, the separation was becoming painful. I literally ached for her; for her arms, her lips, her soft words and gentle touches. I missed her body, her laugh, her expressive eyes, her quick wit and dry humor. A frustrated sigh escaped me as I counted the number of days and nights it would take to get back to her, her arms, her bed.

_Too many._ I thought dryly.

Serena moaned a little as I hefted her once more. My jacket served as a tweed cocoon, protecting her from the nightly chill.

"About another week, sweet princess," I promised. "You'll have your mama back in another week."

_In a week, I'll have my wife in my arms, and my heart will once more find its home._

We called Bella each night from the road. When we reached Gettysburg around dinner time on the eighth day, my body begged me to find a hotel and a good night's rest. My mind agreed with my body, but my heart won out over both. If I pushed a little harder, I could be home and in my own bed by nine that night. I stopped just long enough to get us both fed and Serena changed into pajamas for the night. She looked bewildered and let out a cry of exhaustion when we got back into the car. She settled down at my promise that she'd see her mama soon. Her body, overcome with exhaustion, eventually acquiesced into her requisite position beside me. Sleep took her quickly; a small smile graced her full lips. I imagined that in her dreams, she found the comfort of her absent mother's arms.

There was only one light on in the front when I finally rolled into our driveway. I expected to find Alice's car just past the house, but it was strangely absent. I was too tired to contemplate more than a late night drive to find Bella some ice cream or grape soda. Both had become constant favorites of hers in recent months. A tired laugh escaped me at the thought of tiny Alice raiding Mr. Carlozzi's stash in his cellar. When he saw Bella guzzling it at our church picnic this summer, he playfully told me that he had plenty, should we ever run dry at home.

Those playful thoughts kept me afloat as I carried Serena up the porch steps. The radio wasn't on and neither girl was in the front room. I climbed the steps and made my way to Serena's room first. She looked so much bigger in her crib, as if she had grown sizably in these last days. Her body fit so much better in her tiny bed than in the big beds we slept in together on our journey. I soberly realized how much I would miss my time with her. My lips pressed a goodnight to her soft head and along with it a silent thank you for being a comfort by my side.

The handle to our bedroom let out a creak as I turned it. My eyes, already adjusted to the dark, sought out the bedding covered lump that would be my wife. Her scent filled me as soon as the door clicked and the stale room air wafted in my direction. In its pristine condition, the bed looked, naked…empty.

_Bella wasn't there._

Panic. That was the sensation that hit me first. I tore through the house calling for her. Looking over every room to find her before letting my emotions take me into a complete breakdown. I ran through the kitchen a second time before spotting a note plainly folded like a tent upon the kitchen table, my name scrawled on the front.

_Edward,_

_ Bella went into labor at one. I'm taking her to Lourdes Hospital. _

_ Call Mrs. Carlozzi to watch Serena and come._

_ Alice_

I glanced over at the clock on the stove. "Eight hours," I cried out. Bella went into labor eight hours ago.

The elevator bell rang in my head. It sounded in my ears like the blast of a starter gun. I shot out of the tiny prison box as soon as the attendant opened the doors wide enough for me to squeeze through. The stark white nurses' station nearly blinded me after feeling so trapped in the dark wooden panel walls of that box. My anxiety would have been put to better use if I had only taken the stairs. A petite woman paced back and forth in and out of my line of sight. The sound of my rapidly paced footfalls brought her eyes up to meet mine.

_Alice._

She smiled at me; so brightly that her face should have been plastered across every billboard sign between her and Tacoma. Whatever her face was selling, people would buy it. It was the first time I'd seen her smile in nearly three months. For whatever it was worth, however brief, for this moment, she was the epitome of happiness.

Alice bolted in my direction, but my steps were longer. She crashed into me at nearly full force, and I had to catch her before she bounced off me and landed flat on her back. Her expression said it all, but my anxiety wouldn't abate until I heard the words.

"Alice, what happened? Where's Bella?"

"We were sitting on her bed talking," Alice began. "She went to get up and a sharp pain hit her like a battering ram. When she finally caught her breath and looked up, I knew it was time. We got in the car, and I brought her right here. Bella kept saying that it was too soon. "

_Shit, she's barely eight months. That's even earlier than Serena was._

"She wanted them to stop it, Edward, but they rushed her back before I could find out what they were going to do. I waited, worried and prayed. Bella is so strong, Edward, that deep down I knew she could do it. When they finally let me see her, they had placed him on her chest and she was crying. It was such a relief and a joy. I've never felt such a crushing happiness. It truly was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. It wasn't long before we were both crying like babies."

I just stood and stared at her for a minute.

"Edward, did you hear me? She's okay."

I nodded. Alice's words washed over me as the relief started to sink in. Bella had gone into labor. She did it; she delivered our baby safely into the world. The realization suddenly hit me, and I looked down into the beautiful gray blue eyes of my friend as my thoughts finally came into focus.

"You said _him._ It's a boy? I have a son?"

If possible, Alice's smile grew even wider.

"Yes, Edward. You have a _son_."

A half second later, I had Alice in my arms and was spinning her around in a circle, laughing and crying out at the top of my lungs.

"I have a boy. She had a boy! We have a BOY!"

"Yes, Edward," Alice laughed. "Now put me down, you maniac, before the nurses kick us both out of here!"

I complied with Alice's request, but I couldn't tramp down on the happiness bursting out of me. I needed to find Bella. I needed to see her now. My head started whipping around like a madman as if she would suddenly appear from behind one of the white doors on the maternity floor.

Alice laid a steady hand on my chest, forcing me to look into her eyes. "She's been sleeping for about forty five minutes. She's exhausted…happy, but exhausted. They brought him to her to nurse a couple of hours ago. I put my foot down when they went to clean him up and told her that she needed to get some rest."

"Alice, I could kiss you." She'd done everything I would have done if I'd been here with Bella. A solemn thought passed through me. I now had two children and I wasn't able to be there when either of them had been born.

"Yeah, yeah, save all of that kissin' for your wife," Alice answered, interrupting my melancholy train of thought. "Of course I was going to look out for her. I've done it for her for years, and I'd do it for you, too." She winked. "We're partners in crime." A devious little grin crept up the side of her face, forcing a half smile. One eyebrow lifted as if to add _remember _to the end of her sentence.

I pulled Alice into a hug and kissed the top of her head in thanks. Without letting her go, I whispered softly into her hair.

"You know his name?"

Alice stiffened. She didn't say a word, but I felt her nod against my chest in acknowledgement. Seconds passed as she took some comfort from my arms. Finally, she drew a deep breath to steady herself.

"Thank you."

I rubbed a hand lightly along her back. The gentle comfort broke her, and I felt her shoulders shake against my hold. Alice's soft cries brought me back to the reason I had left Bella, the reason for my trip in the first place. I started to say something, but Alice quickly cut me off.

"Go," she ordered. "Go find your wife. Tell her you love her."

"Alice—" I began, but again she put a hand to my chest to halt me.

"I'm going back to your house to find my goddaughter. I've missed her drooly kisses."

I tightened my grip on her before she could push away. "Alice," I stopped to gather my thoughts before they completely spilled out of me. Mrs. Whitlock's voice would have to guide me.

"You know you were his best girl, right?" I asked softly. With a gentle finger, I lifted her chin to make sure she was staring straight at me. The tears in her gray blue eyes trailed down her cheeks like rain. "He didn't have to be here with you for him to love you like that." Alice tried to turn and look away, but I held her firm. "His mom wanted to be sure that you knew that. She has letters from him, too, and she told me that they left no doubt in her mind what you meant to him."

Alice shook her head. "I can't do this right now; I'm not ready. I have to go, Edward."

She pulled away, but I grabbed her wrist before she could tear off.

"I know, but when you are ready, we'll be here. You aren't alone."

Alice's looked up and met my eyes with a heartbreaking expression. Her eyes, so round and soulful, told me she was feeling every bit of loneliness that Bella and I had been trying to ward off these last few months.

"I know I'm not, Edward. And for now, that'll have to be enough. _Please_, let me go," she begged. Her painful cry broke my heart a little more for her. I didn't want her to walk away like this. The guilt for my own happiness seemed to overwhelm me. Alice lifted a gentle hand and placed it against my cheek. "I'll be okay. I just need time. Stay the night with Bella," she said pointing toward her room. "I'll go look after Sammy; her innocent smile is what I need right now." Alice lifted up on her toes and placed a kiss against my cheek. "Congratulations," she whispered before she dashed away.

My promise to Jasper echoed in my mind. I couldn't let her walk away without knowing she'd be okay. I slipped inside the elevator doors just before the attendant shut them. Alice looked more than a little frustrated and broken.

"I know you want to be alone, Alice, but I'm at least going to make sure you get to your car safely."

"I'm not getting rid of you, am I?" she half cried half joked. Her laugh caused her to sputter and with a very undignified flip of her wrist, she wiped the remnants of her nose on her sleeve. Belatedly, I reached for my handkerchief and offered it to her. "You're driving me batty, Edward," she complained as I walked her to her car. If I knew you'd be this tough to get rid of, I wouldn't have let Bella go off to war in the first place."

I smirked at her annoying banter. "You wouldn't give me up in a million years. You're stuck with me." Alice settled behind the wheel and I leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "I meant what I said, Alice, you're not alone. Come move up here with us," I tried again. "The drive is too long, and I know Bella and Serena would both be happier if you lived close by."

"Edward, don't push," she snapped. We were both silent for a moment while Alice closed her eyes to collect herself. "I know you mean well, but I'll know when I'm ready." Alice couldn't hide her sadness. Her eyes colored her every emotion. "It's nice to be wanted all the same," she added apologetically.

I felt so helpless, wanting to just _fix _what was breaking inside of her. Unfortunately, her broken heart wasn't something I could mend. I could hold her to comfort her, but it wasn't my arms she wanted. The only comfort I could offer her was my words.

"We love you, Alice."

The words fell softly from my lips, but the emotion behind them did not pass easily. The words of love were on behalf of her family, her sister Bella, Serena, me and most importantly…_Jasper._

Alice didn't meet my eyes; she nodded, then put the car in reverse and drove away. We wouldn't allow her to fold in on herself and on her grief. Bella and I would be there for her every day until she could stand on her own. It didn't matter how long it would take. The taillights of Alice's car were now no more than two red specs in the night. I looked up to the heavens and the starry night above with a vow on my lips.

_I won't fail you, Jasper._

For the second time that evening, the ring of the elevator bell was a shot of adrenaline to my heart. I barreled down the long hallway toward Bella's room. I paused for a second, panting to catch my breath as I reached her door. It creaked slowly open when I pushed on it. I cringed at the sound, hoping I hadn't woken her. Bella lay curled on her side in my direction with one hand placed delicately under her chin. The creak of the door caused her brow to furrow and she momentarily stretched before her brow wrinkled in pain.

I fell to my knees before her and grasped her hands in mine.

"Bella?"

"Edward," she whispered with a raspy voice.

Her eyes opened slowly and a small smile graced her tired face. Her hair flew out in wild tendrils across her pillow. She looked flushed; the sweat from her earlier exertion now matted her hair against her skin. I reached up to gently brush some strands back from her neck and cheek.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"Fine," she answered sleepily. "I'm happy. I'm tired too, but I'm happy."

"Get some rest, beautiful," I encouraged as I placed reverent kisses over each of her knuckles.

"Have you seen him yet?" Bella asked, ignoring my suggestion.

I laughed to myself at her inability to do almost _anything _I asked.

_Stubborn woman. Beautiful, amazing, wonderful, stubborn woman._

"No, I just talked to Alice. She's heading back to the house to take care of Serena so I can stay with you."

Bella turned over her shoulder to glance at the darkened window.

"You drove the last twelve hours all in one night?"

"One day and half the night to be exact, but, yes."

"Edward," she said reproaching.

I brushed her cheek with my thumb. "I just couldn't stay away any longer."

Bella smiled appreciatively.

"I know," she sighed. "I've missed you, too."

"How are you really? Alice said you had a tough go?"

Bella grimaced at the thought. "It was too soon, Edward. I tried to tell them to stop it but—"

"Shhhh, love, it's okay," I whispered, cradling the back of her head. "Alice says he's fine, and I know you did everything you could to keep him safe."

"He's just so little, Edward."

My lips brushed the hand I was holding. "He'll grow."

Bella laughed a little. "He eats well."

I laughed, too. "Then I'm certain he'll be just fine." I traced Bella's knuckles lightly with my fingertip. "I'm sorry I wasn't with you…again."

"Oh, Edward, don't do this to yourself. I know that under any other circumstances you would have been the one driving me to the hospital, and cheering me on…or maybe _fainting dead away_."

"I most certainly _would not_," I argued. I'd lived through a hell of a lot more blood and guts to be shaken by the the birth of one baby. Albeit, not _my_ baby…and _my_ wife in experiencing the pain of childbirth.

_Maybe I would have fainted after all. _

My head shook at the ridiculous thought. Of course I wouldn't fail her when she needed me. Not now, not ever again.

Bella snickered at my indignation. "Gotcha," she laughed.

"Good Lord, woman, will you never get over having fun at my expense?" Once again, my wife knew the key to bringing me back from my own self flagellation.

Bella only laughed harder. "Oh, Edward, you're too easy to get to."

_And she was right. She had my ticket punched, and she always would._

The door to Bella's room creaked once more, allowing the light of the hallway to seep into our private moment. A nurse gingerly stepped into the room carrying a tightly wrapped bundle in her arms.

"You're awake, I see."

Bella tried to sit up, but the pain etched across her face had me flying to her aid. I packed pillows behind her and helped raise the bed to allow her to sit up.

"Is he hungry?"

"Not just yet," the nurse replied handing our child to Bella. "He woke up just a little while ago. He's clean and alert but not fussing just yet." The nurse looked over Bella and attended to her care. Once she was satisfied everything was as it should be, she turned and smiled kindly at me. "I'll be down the hall if you need anything."

A quiet "mmmhhhm" left Bella, but she never took her eyes off the child cradled in her arms. I went to sit beside her on the bed as she carefully unwrapped our boy. My one arm hugged Bella's shoulders, while the other cradled our son's head behind Bella's hands. He _was _tiny, but perfect. He had ten little fingers, ten tiny toes, soft pink cheeks and fuzzy brown hair. He had his eyes screwed shut so I couldn't begin to decipher their color. Tiny grunts came as he wiggled within Bella's gentle grasp. I looked over at Bella and saw tears rolling down her cheeks. There was no need to ask why; I already knew she was wishing she'd had this with Serena as well. I hugged her tighter to me and kissed her temple.

"I love you," I whispered with my lips in her hair.

Bella nodded and sniffed back some tears as she wiped her cheek with her clothed shoulder.

"Will you hold him?" she asked. The words came out half choked. "He's been waiting for you."

"For me?"

Bella smiled as more tears fell down her cheeks.

"Yes, for you. For you to give him his name," she clarified.

My lungs filled with a deep breath. For a moment I couldn't speak. The words would have never made it past my lips. I only nodded and reached out to take my boy from his mother's loving embrace.

"Your father wants to meet you," Bella whispered with her lips upon his cheek. "Be a good boy for him."

Bella moved to offer him, but I gently clasped her cheeks in both my hands and poured all of my love for her into a long, gentle kiss. Her eyes closed as she melted into me, but it was my heart she had wrapped around hers so tightly. She would forever hold my heart in her hand.

"Thank you," I said with my forehead against hers, my heavy breaths upon her lips. "For surviving, for loving me, for giving me a family, for being my other half, for making me whole. I love you, Bella."

Bella lifted our child and placed him gently in my arms. Her hand brushed a sweeping pass over his head. She looked at him adoringly and then lifted her eyes to mine. "I love you, too, Edward."

So many emotions filled me as I gazed upon my son. He was a miracle like so many others I never expected but now couldn't imagine living without. RJ's birth brought new joy and life to this world. He was small but would grow stronger day by day. His life was already a joy within me. I knew the joy he would soon bring to others who would love him almost as much as Bella and I would. I thought of my parents and of Alice and Jasper, then I looked down on my son and smiled, knowing he would bear his name proudly. He would be blessed by those who would look after him, those both near and those who would shimmer in his dreams and kiss his soft head with a breeze from a window. His new life held so much promise and my own heart nearly burst with love for him. I leaned down and pressed my lips to the tip of his nose and then to his forehead. I closed my eyes and said his name in prayer with joy and love and reverence in my heart.

"Happy Birthday, Riley Jasper."

THE END

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**A/N: **I'm really satisfied with how TLB ends but I also realize that there are some readers out there who may be interested in what else could happen beyond this story line. So, if you are wondering, TLB won't be my last story. I hope to begin posting again after New Years. If you're interested, add me to your author alerts. The new story will parallel TLB and will hopefully resolve some of the questions you had after Charlie's visit.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate the feedback and you letting me know what you think,

-FirstBlush

**The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:**

**Chapter 30 Respects - October, 1945**

**A little info on seatbelts since little Serena wasn't in one: **In 1950, the first factory-installed seatbelts in the U.S. appeared in the 1950 Nash Statesman and Ambassador models. This was nearly 20 years after U.S. physicians had begun urging auto manufacturers to provide seatbelts in cars. Until the late 1960s and early 1970s, the automotive industry in the U.S. was almost entirely unregulated, and concern over traffic safety had been minimal.

* * *

**Story reference: **Mae Whitlock offers Edward and Sam Pecan Pie for Dessert.

**Historical Significance: **One of the traditional Texas desserts I found on the web was Pecan Pie.

**Source: **(dot)com/topics/295942

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**Story reference: **Edward goes to "talk" with Jasper under a Madrone tree, Jasper's favorite spot

**Historical Significance: **A Madrone tree frames a summer view of the Mount Tamalpais foothills in Marin County

**Source: **http:/martyknapp(dot)com/gallery/show/24


	31. Chapter 31 Jasper's Story

Thank you for reading _The Last Breath_. If you'd like to see where this story could go from here, a parallel story called the Long Way Home is beginning to post tonight. You'll find it on my profile page.

ooOOoo

_**Here is the summary: **_

What do you do when your heart's desire is hurting and alone? How do you heal her from afar?

His words were the match striking fire across her heart but to save her, he first has to save himself.

Captured and held by an enemy, he fights to survive on her words…Love, Alice.

ooOOoo

The banner for this story can be found at: http:/pics(dot)livejournal(dot)com/firstblushes/pic/0000y08s

Thank you for reading TLB, and I hope you'll give the new story a try.

_-FirstBlush_


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